winterishrain

Hey,
moving out and in with your boyfriend is a huge step and a big test of your love for each other in the first place. Bringing a baby along would be even harder. Maybe you could try moving first to see how stable it is, and if it’s an environment you would want to raise a child in. Either way, I believe you should wait, but at least then you’d know. There are so many other things to do at 15 then raise a child. Once you have a baby, nothing is about you anymore, it’s all about your son or daughter.Your young and you deserve to experience the world without the overwhelming responsibility of a child. A new baby can come between it’s parents and take up most of their time together, and can strain any relationship if not done properly. Don’t get me wrong, babies are amazing and having one is like nothing else in this world, but think about how much better the whole experience could be if your stable, married, and finished with school so you can really enjoy your child without the added stress of finishing school and struggling to make ends meet (babies are expensive!)
Another thing, if your boyfreind is that close to being 18, your parents can press charges for statatory rape if they feel the need, becuase your still a minor. Imagine being pregnant with his baby while he’s in jail! I’m a soon to be single mom, due in three weeks, and I can tell you that going to every appointment alone and setting up and moving baby furniture alone and just being alone in general at a time in life that should be cheerful and celebratory is really tough and lonely. I’m sure delivering alone will be no fun either. I know your in love, but i know that ending up alone happens becuase it happened to me. Whatever you decide, just know that this decision, once you decide to have a child, isn’t one that can be undone. you can’t change your mind, or go back to your old life. Having a baby really does change everything! good luck!

Hi, my 12 year old sister had speach and language delays when she was young, but is fully caught up now, although language arts is still not her strongest or favorite subject.

I enjoy the show from an etertainment perspective, but have issues with it when it comes to the actual reality of it. Rarely are young parents given a big fully furnished house with everything they need in a nice neighborhood with other young parents, and rarely are jobs found and just given to these families. Also, on the show there is a professional Nanny shadowing them for legal reasons. I wish! three days with a newborn, or any age for the matter is the honeymoon period, its alot different when you know your in it for the long hall and can’t return the kids, give up and go back to your old life whenever you want, ect. It’s alot different when their your kids and they get sick and you need to find a way to the bills, they get in trouble, or have other long term issues. I guess the biggest issue I have is that it doesn’t show the parents trying to make ends meet for the family, just dealing with the kids themselves. Sure, they go to work, but they can pick the parent that goes to work, thus getting a break from work or the kids, and very few people have the luxury to wake up and decide who is going to go to work that day. It’s an interesting show and I think it may make people think twice, but it barely touches the surface of how hard it really is. Just my thoughts!

Hi, there is an organization called the nurturing network that helps women in alot of capacities, and also have information on adoption for the type of women you have described. They have a website, so if you google it, it will come up. They may be able to help, or at least point you in the right direction. 🙂

hey!
this is funny becuase I was the same way when I was a kid. Part of it was wanting attention, ( i have a big family) and another part was my unusual curiosity for all things medical. Medicine, bandaids, drs, I wanted to know about all of that. My parents had to teach me that just becuase something isn’t comfortable or perfect, doesn’t mean there is something necisarily wrong, bought me a toy dr. bag that was pretty realistic, and gave me my own first aid kit, lacking any dangerous medicine or tools, of course. that way I could play dr. on other people, cureing the attention seeking, use as many bandaids and anibiotic ointment I felt necsisary, and they thought I’d eventually grow out of it. Then, at one of my checkups, my mom had the dr. explain to me why it was important to only complain about something if there is a real problem, making something up about self-harm. alot of times it stemmed from someone at school or in the neighborhood who was sick or had something wrong and got special treatment becuase of it.
hope that helps!

hey, I thought my mother would flip out too! Writing a letter is a good idea, especially if she has a tendancy to get overemotional right at the beginging. That way you can give her her space for a while. My mom had a series of emotions, but she’s mostly excited about her first grandchild. Also, it may help to know as much as you can about your options, how you plan on dealing with school, work, and family, ect. So your mom will know that your serious about this and willing to do all it takes to raise a happy, healthy baby! Also, I tried not to bring up how involved she would be or what kind of help or support she would offer, and let her make that decision and come to that herself. She’ll come to terms with it, even if she’s not happy in the begining. I suggest telling her soon, or she may feel left out that other people knew long before her. Best of luck!

Hi,
I was in a similar situation. I am also 22, and just graduated college. When I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant, I was halfway around the world, and risked my job, my family, and my friends if anyone found out, no matter what my decision. In fact, no one knew, except the dr., until I was well into my second trimester. I had an abortion appointment made for the week following my initial visits. But, I knew, for me at least, that the an abortion would take the pregnancy of it but in the end, perpetuate the hurt and fear and bad decisions, and although my life is different now, and sometimes harder, I can’t imagine not preparing for my baby now ( I’m due in August) and, no matter what people say or how disapointed people may become, I can have pride that, although I made a mistake, I did what I felt deep down was the right thing to do and chose to keep my baby. But, when I did decide to tell people, I got alot more support than I imagined. and the people who don’t support me are the people who probly didn’t matter or care too much about me. When I told my father, he told me that it’s not the mistake you made that would disapoint me, it’s the way you deal with the consequences of your actions. I knew deep down that this child was already a part of me and who I was, and I would never emotionally get over a termination. You can find support, help, even if it’s not from the people you are closest too right now.
No matter what you decide, it may be a good idea for you and your BF to take some time off, to sort through your thoughts on your own, and come back and discuss after you’ve both calmed down a bit.
Good luck

Hey, I get the same things, but I’ve found in my situation,that it’s their way of dealing with this sudden news. Some people just don’t realize how much you change in the nine months. I agree with clwbabyboy, use this to be an inspiration to fight harder for yourself and your baby. As long as you and your husband provide for you baby and do everything in your power to raise a happy healthy person, thats all that anyone can ask. No parent is perfect, we’re all going to make mistakes, but having a mother that you don’t want to be like will help, at least it gives you a better idea of what not to do. Even first time mothers who had planned to have kids for a long time doubt themselves, it’s all part of the growing process. Look at us- we didn’t have perfect parents but we turned out ok! If you didn’t already care and love your baby, you wouldn’t have felt so offended. It’s not fair for your sisters to say anything becuase they have no idea what kind of mother you’ll be until the baby is born. Anyway, just my thoughts!

The next nine months will be full of nervousness, being scared, and excitement. It’s normal for any mother. The sooner you tell your mom the sooner you can start a support system and, after I told my mom, it was nice to have someone to talk about it all with who has been there, and she keeps it really positive and we talk about all the fun things about being pregnant and having kids, so it’s nice to hae someone to share the excitement with who really understands.
Good luck!

hey. Don’t take those things to heart. If what they were saying was true, you wouldn’t be stressing over it. Your reaction leads me to believe that you have already vowed to take care of your daughter and love her to the best of your ability. Your boyfriend should be there for you and the baby ,and his parents should understand that it takes two to get pregnant and he has some responsibility. The fact that your boyfriend wants to be there says alot about him,and he deserves to experience all the good things, as well as the hard, that go along with parenting. how long before he is 18? Can you seperate yourself from his parents and not have to see them everyday? No one deserves belittling comments like that.

aww, I had a couple of moments this past week, and they were despratley needed becuase I was feeling a bit down. I have a younger sister, and I went to see her honor roll assembly, and next to me was a mom and a litle girl who was about 16 mo. and she came over an patted my belly and then gave it a hug. I’m only 18 weeks along, so I’m not showing that much yet, but I guess she could tell. Also, while at lunch with my mom, there was a baby making a mess with his food at the table, and he was just as happy as could be. These helped me realize that keeping the baby was the best decision and even though it’s hard, there are good times as well.

Hi, in my experience in custody battles, courts prefer to have joint custody or give custody to the mother. If you family drinks and smokes and their all of age, and not abusive and/or getting into troulbe with the law becuase of it, their adults doing what some adults choose to do and it isn’t a reflection on your skills as a mother. And, the court, if you can prove that living with your mother is only temporary, will take that into consideration. I had a good guy freind fighting for custody, and he’s a great father, and the mother is not unfit but by no means a great mother, and the courts only gave him visitation rights, although he was obviously the better parent. I’m not saying that this happens all the time, but the rumor is that the courts tend to side with the birth mother in custody battles if it can’t be proven that she is unfit. Many law schools give free legal advice so the students can practice, so look up law schools in your area and see if they have a clinic or service. Maybe just sit down and have a serious and adult convo with your bf and explain that although you want him in your life and the baby’s you don’t feel like its in your or your baby’s best interest to stay, stress on you affects pregnancy. If you do go back home, ask your family if they’d be willing to comprimise, or make small changes on their habits, like smoking near a window, on a porch if it’s a nice day, not in the room where you are sleeping, ect for your health and your baby’s. If not, you can do things, like keep a window open as you sleep, get outside as much as possible, get a few things that claim to take the smoke out of the air, ect. anyway, hope this helps.