feeling alone, please help!

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  • #21343

      I’m new to the community. Hi y’all!
      So here’s my dealio:

      I’m 22 and in college. I’m 8 weeks preggers as of today and i’ve got my termination of pregnancy appointment tomorrow morning. I’m also in finals (today was my last final phew!), so that for starters should show the level of stress and anxiety i’m in 🙁

      My bf/partner &i have had a complicated relationship since the beginning. Despite all these complications he ended up trying to be supportive of my decision to abort. Though he is supportive of the situation, I still find myself having a tough time dealing with him as a partner. Because I’m so emotional I basically cannot go a day w/o him saying something that will make me cry or bawl. I haven’t talked or called him in 4 days.

      Only him and I know about this pregnancy. The female friends I have I cannot seem to confide in for various reasons (I know many cannot keep a secret…or would judge me for my situation). My parents the same (I still live with them), and it doesn’t help that we’ve been arguing back and forth.

      I know that I am strong enough to go through this alone, and I really cherish the privacy of my matter. At the same time, I feel lonely and sad that I have a hard time venting out. These past days I’ve just been so melancoly, trying to sort things and emotions out. My performance at work and school is normal, as I still participate and am my funny silly self as usual, But its really tough.

      I really need someone to talk to within now and tomorrow. If you’ve got an open ear (or should I say eyes lol), please let me know. We can email or do AIM.

      Any words of advice is deeply appreciated as well.



        Hey there, My name is Meg and I came across your post and I really hope you get this in time…before you make any sudden moves or do anything further please cancel your appt for tomorrow or just don’t show up, if you really decide that you have to do it you can always go back and make a new appt but once it is done there is no putting the baby back in…you know what I mean?? First thing is that what you are doing right now is suffering alone, you have not told your friends or family members, you are making a decision based on fear, secrets, and circumstances…take away the stress, take away the fear of what others would say, take away the complicated relationship and just look at you and this baby…This baby was made in the deepest part of your body, this baby will have your features, this baby has it’s own genetic code unlike anyone else’s that has ever existed or ever will, this baby was made specifically to be your child, not the lady down the road, not your second cousin twice removed, YOUR baby, just for you…you are the perfect mother for this child and no one else is able to give this baby life but you…no one is able to sustain this child’s life but you, YOU are the most important person in this baby’s life, do you really want to toss in the towel and give up that honor and right? Do you want to live a shameful secret and suffer alone? You have no idea of how your family and friends will take this news, they may run out and start buying cute little clothes and throw you a party, or they might look at you like you have messed up but how they see you doesn’t compare to how your baby sees you…and also how you see yourself…You are a mommy, whether you go to that appt tomorrow or not, you are now and always be this baby’s mommy, the question is do you want to be the mommy of a child that you never got to meet, the mommy of a child who never had a voice to tell you they love you, the mommy of a child that will never have a favorite color?? This child will forever change your life whether you go to that appt tomorrow or not, you can have a life changed by less sleep, diaper changes, school plays, owies to kiss, more laundry to wash, less time, more love, or you can have a life forever changed by regret, nightmares, what ifs, searching for something to replace the void in your heart, unstable relationships and trust issues…You do not have to get an abortion, whether you do or not your life is forever changed, but it doesn’t have to be a bad change, I raised two kids on my own as a single mom until I got married almost two years ago, there are tons of resources available for help and I do not look back at the rough times as "ruining my life" or "taking away from my goals and dreams" My kids gave me the desire to have goals and dreams they have improved my life not ruined it…You do not have to keep this a secret, even if there will be those who judge or are disappointed there will also be those who are excited for you, this is your parents grandchild, even if they are upset they will get over it and spoil this little angel in your womb…just please cancel the appt at least for now, talk with your parents and your best friends, I think you want to keep this baby, if not you wouldn’t have hesitated and come here for answers…having a baby before marriage is not "ideal" and I do not recommend purposely getting that way but this just happened, you can look at it as a mistake and suffer silently or you can look at this as a new journey and a fresh start to make new choices and you will have this little person with you every step of the way, there is a reason why this child has been allowed to dwell in your body, search out that reason and do not take this little life changing blessing for granted…this little angel could very well be your life saver…I am here for you and I really hope to hear from you, I can give you all kinds of links to sites to help you find resources out there, they are at your fingertips, it can be hard but not impossible to raise a child on your own while in college, I know many who have done it and don’t it well with no regrets, just read the stories on the site…I am leaving you a link to a picture to show you what your baby looks like at 8 weeks and also a list of developments that are going to be taking place in the next week, please stop and take a time out and really think this through more before you go to that appointment…please…we are all here for you on Standupgirl, with all my love and prayers…Meg, meg@standupgirl.com


        # Cartilage and bones begin to form – At the end of this week your baby will have already completed 1/5th of the journey ’til his birthday!
        # The basic structure of the eye is well underway – The position is more "newborn" like already!
        # The tongue begins to develop
        # Intestines move out of the umbilical cord into the abdomen.
        # Body grows and makes room – Two months along and this little one is growing inside and out by leaps and bounds!
        # The fingers and toes have appeared but are webbed and short
        # Baby has begun movement – While still too small for you to feel, your little one is wriggling, shifting, and dancing already! Makes you almost wish for a window to peek in whenever you want!
        # Most joints are formed now – and trust that your little one is practicing bending and flexing.
        # Fetus will curve its fingers around an object placed in the palm of its hand – This is amazing to see! At only nine weeks, if you happen to have an ultrasound, you may observe your infant fascinated by everything he or she can lay their fingers on (mainly other fingers, toes, ears and nose!
        # Fingerprints are already evident in the skin


          I was in a similar situation. I am also 22, and just graduated college. When I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant, I was halfway around the world, and risked my job, my family, and my friends if anyone found out, no matter what my decision. In fact, no one knew, except the dr., until I was well into my second trimester. I had an abortion appointment made for the week following my initial visits. But, I knew, for me at least, that the an abortion would take the pregnancy of it but in the end, perpetuate the hurt and fear and bad decisions, and although my life is different now, and sometimes harder, I can’t imagine not preparing for my baby now ( I’m due in August) and, no matter what people say or how disapointed people may become, I can have pride that, although I made a mistake, I did what I felt deep down was the right thing to do and chose to keep my baby. But, when I did decide to tell people, I got alot more support than I imagined. and the people who don’t support me are the people who probly didn’t matter or care too much about me. When I told my father, he told me that it’s not the mistake you made that would disapoint me, it’s the way you deal with the consequences of your actions. I knew deep down that this child was already a part of me and who I was, and I would never emotionally get over a termination. You can find support, help, even if it’s not from the people you are closest too right now.
          No matter what you decide, it may be a good idea for you and your BF to take some time off, to sort through your thoughts on your own, and come back and discuss after you’ve both calmed down a bit.
          Good luck


            Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on!
            Please consider what Meg said if it’s not too late.


              Hey girly please don’t abort i know it seems hard but you can get through there are many horror stories and there are some girls on here that are so much younger like 14 with three kids and they manage talk to people around you don’t be ashamed even if they do judge you…be proud of the light of life growing inside feel blessed by god that he has given this child to you and you to this child…let me know what you decided and whatever you did decided i’m here if you wna talk….:)



                Must be hard, hey?
                Please please consider what Meg said though.
                Are you being held back because you believe that this baby isn’t in your personal plan?
                Because it is. Things happen for a reason. just read the emotional pain people talk about on here after having abortions, it’s heartbreaking. At 8 weeks, that baby’s heart is beating. It loves you. You provide it with food and shelter and warm and love in your womb. It relies on you for life; just ask yourself, would you really be able to pay for someone to kill this little baby of yours who loves you so much and doesn’t have the capacity to comprehend why this pain is death is inflicted upon them?
                Yes, they don’t have that capacity to understand, but neither does a two year old child. They do, however, feel pain, and love.

                Please, please reconsider.

                Having a baby is not the end of the world. If you really think about it — it’s actually the beginning of a wonderful new life:silly: !

                Best of wishes,
                Love, Kat


                  Hi. i too got pregnant while in college. But i made the mistake of having an abortion. Its one of the hardest decions that you will ever make in your life. Please think carefully before you make any decisons.

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