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Cervical cancer is caused by Human Papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. You definitely need to tell you boyfriend so that he can be monitored by his doctor and so that he will not have sex with anyone and infect them.

If caught early HPV is very treatable. The best thing you can do is stop having sex and give your body a break. Rest a lot and baby yourself.

It’s impossible for anyone to know whether or not you are having an ectopic pregnancy via the internet. Not even a doctor would diagnose someone without a physical examination. However, if you think that you are experiencing symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy, you should see your doctor. He/she can give you a physical examination and be able to diagnose your situation. If nothing else seeing a doctor will put your mind at ease. Do you have a doctor in your area that you can call?

Hi Rachael,
Thanks for posting and telling us about your situation. I was really struck by your post. You have so much wisdom!!!!!! You should be proud of yourself. You are exactly right when you say that having an abortion can lead to depression. Most women after their abortions go through deep depression and it sometimes resurfaces each year on their due date or the date they had their abortion. If you already have depression, having an abortion does nothing but compound the problem.

We all want the best for you and the best advice I can give you is to continue with your pregnancy. Having a baby is hard – there is no doubt about that. But if you apply yourself and stick to it, you can still go to college and achieve your dreams.

The good news is that you have a supportive mother. I would talk with her more about this. I think she will be a great help to you.

Just remember that you have a wonderful little boy or girl inside of you. The best gift you can give to your child is the gift of life.

Dolly_91
As you can read from Armanismom’s post above you should not let someone pressure you into an abortion. Armanismom did and she regrets it every day of her life.

Boyfriends pressure their girlfriends to have an abortion all the time – you are not alone. But after their girlfriend gets the abortion they take off. They promised they would stay if she got the abortion but really they just made the promise to get her to go what he wanted her to do.

The woman is then left alone with no boyfriend and no baby. To get an abortion would be a great mistake. Just take it from Armanismom. She has been there. She knows what she is talking about. Don’t go down that same road.

You know, this is your body and your choice. It’s not your boyfriends body. He is not the one who will have to live with the physical side effects and the emotional side effects.

I only want the best for you and the best advice I can give is to listen to yourself – not your boyfriend. Listen to your baby. What do you think your baby would want you to do?

Let me refer you to a local pregnancy resource center where you can get confidential help. There are people there that can support you though this. They also want the best for you. To find the pregnancy resource center that is nearest to you, just go to http://www.optionline.org, click on “find a center”, type in your zip code, and click “search”. Call the center that is closest to you and tell them what you told us. There are there to help you and it’s free. You are not alone.

Knowing when you are in love is difficult. I can look back at boys that I have dated and remember being in love with them. Even though we were both in love, we eventually broke up. I learned that you can love someone, but your relationship might now work out.

Love is funny. It’s not practical and it is especially not wise. It’s easy to think that if you love someone you should have sex with them to let them know how you feel. However, sex is more then telling someone you love them.

The truth of the matter is, real love can only be attained through marriage. The reason it can only be attained through marriage is because the two people have made a lifelong commitment to love each other. In other words, real love is not the good feelings that you get from your boyfriend, it’s the lifelong commitment that makes it love.

If you are not married to him, it’s not the right time to lose your virginity. When/if you do marry him, then it is the right time to lose your virginity.

Hey,
My name is April and I help out with Stand Up Girl. I am 28 years old and I have not had sex. I am waiting until I get married. I want to be able to give my very best to my husband.

Waiting is not easy, but the older you get the easier it becomes. You might want to consider setting some ground rules for yourself like no kissing while laying down, no hands under the clothes, no touching bikini areas (either over your clothes or under), no spending the night at a boyfriends house, etc.

Once these boundaries are in place commit to following them. Unfortunately, I think pressure from society and from boyfriends is a major influencer in women losing their virginity. But being a Stand Up Girl means Standing Up to the peer pressure. Let people say or pressure you all they want, but you know that you are different than all of them. You respect your body and your future husband.

You will see that as you get older the peer pressure subsides. You become to know who you are as a person and are more confident in your self and more able to stand up to the pressure.

Saying no is good practice now for when you are married. After marriage you have to be faithful to that one person for the rest of your life; however, if you have lived your whole life having sex with who ever you want, you will find that is a hard habit to break.

Start practicing faithfulness to your future husband now. Commit to only have sex with whoever he may be. He will be one lucky man!

Usually they let you decide what type of abortion procedure you would like. Right now you have the choice between RU486 (a medication abortion) or a suction curettage. You can read more about the procedures here: http://optionline.org/abortion.html

I think that it is not good that your doctor has not discussed this with you thoroughly. It’s your body and your choice so you have a right to know what is going to happen when you have an abortion. If I were in your shoes I think I would reconsider this.

Abortion is a big deal and it is something that you should do with great caution. There are physical side effects and there are emotional ones. I would really like to encourage you to make an informed decision about your body and get all the facts before you go in for the procedure.

Here is the phone number for the website I linked to above. It’s 1-800-395-HELP. They are a non-profit organization and they can discuss with you all of your options. It’s free to call so you have nothing to lose. At the very least it will help you mentally prepare for your abortion.

Having an abortion is a decision that will change the rest of your life. Unfortunately, it’s not like getting your wisdom teeth pulled. I have spoken with people who had abortions 30 years ago and they are still not over it. If you need to there is nothing wrong with calling your abortion clinic and moving your appointment to another date so you can think things over. You have to make the best decision for you and your body. Don’t rush into it.

Hey, thanks for posting. At Stand Up Girl you are always free to state your opinion. There is nothing wrong with just letting it all out. It’s good therapy and everyone needs to do it now and then.

It sounds like you are going through a really stressful time right now. It’s only natural to feel this way. Finding out that you are pregnant is a BIG deal and it’s HARD. This is not an easy time for anyone, but the good news is that there are so many girls who have been there done that and they really want to help you through this. You are not alone.

We love you so much and we are here for you. We only want what is best, but no matter what you do we will be here for you. Even if other people in your life are giving you a hard time, Stand Up Girl will always be your refuge. We love you unconditionally.

In my own life, I started out pro-choice. I minored in philosophy and took a class on ethics. We had great discussions on women’s rights and their right to choose. I really LOVED it! I was squarely pro-choice. It was not long after that that I was having a conversation with a person that I did not know well at all and she had no idea what any of my political beliefs were. She told me that at the moment when the sperm penetrates the egg, the baby’s hair color, eye color, height, skin color, approximate weight, and some personality traits are all determined. I didn’t believe her. I flat out thought she was an idiot – really. So to prove her wrong I did some research of my own and I found she was right. I was humiliated to say the least. In the face of documented science I had no other choice but to change my beliefs – and it sucked.

On the Stand Up Girl site we will always tell you the truth. You won’t get lies from us, but we are sorry that you found the stories that we posted offensive. Our intention was not to shame you or make you feel guilty. These are real stories – not doctored stories – that we have received from real people who have been in the situation that you are in now. We aren’t here to make a political statement or make you change your mind. You are free to hold any belief you have or make any decision you want. We are here for you no matter what you do.

I volunteer with this site because I want to help women. I want the very best for you. The best advice that I can give you is to take a look at fetal development. Research it for yourself. Don’t take my word for it.

Remember, though, no matter what decision you make, I am always there for you. You can email me any time if you want to. April@standupgirl.com

Hey, I’m glad you decided to post in the forum. From what you wrote, it sounds to me like you don’t really want to have an abortion, but you are doing this to appease your boyfriend. Not only that he is convincing you to do something that is illegal in the country that you are in. If you are caught, I have no idea what the ramifications could be. What if you take the drugs and you have to go to the hospital?

The best advice that I can give you is to do what your heart is telling you – be a Stand Up Girl. Stand up for what you want and stand up for the life of your child. Although, all sorts of people deny it, the person that is inside of you really is a human being and deserves to live just as much as you or I do.

Being a mother is scary and it’s not easy, but it is possible. You are not alone. Sometimes when we are at the bottom of a mountain and we look up we become overwhelmed about the amount of work it will take to climb up. However, you will find that as you start taking one step at a time, it becomes manageable and you learn that you can do it. When you think about being a parent, don’t let it overwhelm you. Just take each day and each step at a time. You will be able to make it through this. You will be ok.

Hi friend,
Thanks for posting.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You know, abortion is not an easy thing and it most certainly is not something that you just bounce back from. There are so many people that feel just like you after their abortion. You are not alone. Feelings of emptiness and cowardliness are very common. You are not the first person to feel this way.

I just want you to know that you will be ok. You will be able to get through this. Your life is not over.

You see, after an abortion most women experience what is called PAS or Post Abortion Syndrome. Some of the indicators are feelings of guilt, shame, denial, anxiety, depression, and wanting to have a baby to fill the place of the one that you lost. Many, many women after an abortion try to get pregnant again because they feel empty and they think that having another baby will fill the loss that they feel. The truth of the matter is, if you have another child it won’t fill the whole that you are feeling. It’s not going to solve your problem.

My recommendation to you is to get some post abortion help. You can meet with someone who is specially trained to help women dealing the emotional stress caused by their abortion. The best news is this is completely non-judgmental and free! If you are willing to take the risk and go, you will never regret it. Let me tell you how you can find a post abortion recovery group in your area. Just click on this link: http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp. Type in your zip code and click “search”. A list of pregnancy resource centers will appear. Just call one and tell them that you had an abortion and you need someone to help you. They will be able to take it from there and they will be so glad that you called.

But for now, my friend, I pray that you will have peace and that you will over come this. Spring always comes after winter.

The primary way that the pill is supposed to work is by telling your ovary to not release the egg. In other words, suppressing ovulation. But sometimes even though you take the pill or even if you forgot to take it, your body does not get the message and you release an egg any way. When the sperm met the egg is called fertilization. Fertilization happens in your fallopian tube. Then the fertilized egg moves out of your uterus and implants in your uterus.

The reason some women get pregnant while on the pill and others do not just depends on their body. Everyone’s body is different and you can’t expect the same to be true of all women. Some women don’t get pregnant because they don’t ovulate while on the pill other women do get pregnant because they do get pregnant on the pill.

If you are worried about becoming pregnant, you should know that birth control is not reliable and you can never be sure how your body will react to it. Have you considered waiting until you are married to have sex? Abstinence is much more effective than the pill and A LOT less dangerous. Waiting to have sex with your husband alone is the best decision you can make and you will never regret it.

That is what I am doing. I’m waiting until I am married. I’ve never had sex before and I’ve never worried about pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Abstinence is the best choice I have ever made!

I think you should listen to that sick feeling. If you feel sick now just thinking about having an abortion just imagine how you will feel after you have an abortion. Abortion sometimes seems to other people to be the best solution, but only know what the best solution is and I think that your body is giving you a message loud and clear.

There is a lot of financial help available. To find help in your area all you have to do is follow this link: http://optionline.org/advantage.asp. Type in your zip code and a list of pregnancy resource centers will appear. Just call the one that is closest to you and tell them exactly what you told us. You are in good hands and there is no need to worry.

My friend, thinks will take care of themselves. You can do it. You can make it through this.

Ez.
It is clear that you don’t want to have an abortion. You are going to regret it. As you know having an abortion will not solve any of your problems, it will just make them worse. I understand why your family is pressuring you to do this. It is easy to go along and be complacent but you will suffer greatly after your abortion if you aren’t a Stand Up Girl now. You know what you need to do. Stand Up for what you want. Don’t listen when they say you can’t be a mother. That is not true and there are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many girls in this site that can testify to that. You can do it! You can Stand Up for yourself, what you want, and your future.

Here is a number you can call for help at any time 1-800-395-HELP. They have people that would love to talk with you and get you help. You can be a Stand Up Girl.