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hi darling, im so glad i read your thread.
listen to your own heart. go away for the weekend or something just the two of you (if you can) or stay at yours and talk.
talk about both of you, this baby, his family, your family. your future.im 10 weeks pregnant and my boyfriends family are making it very hard for me. which is causing arguements between us. so we’re going to my mums house for a few days to talk and get away.
babe what do you want to do?
ive had an abortion, forced. and it ruined my life. i had no choice over it.
this baby is your baby. so you do what you want. dont let any FORCE you into anything!! you will regret it.he’s probably scared and dont want his family to turn their backs on him. but they will come round. and re assure him that hes got nothing to be scared off.
you can do it 🙂b x
well first of all my opinon is dont do.
your asking us whether or not you should have a baby with your boyfriend. which shows me your not ready and dont really want a baby at this time.you sound like you have a sensible head on your shoulders, you want to go to college and everything. how do you know he is gonna stick around once the baby is here.
do not let him pressure you into anything! and to be honest if you tell him you dont want a baby and he dooesnt stick around then that shows everything really.if he really wants to be with you and loves you he will respect your decision.
remember a baby is a big responabilty! i know people say its for the next 18 year but really its from the moment you concieve till the day you die. a baby will not always be a baby but they will always be your child!
seriously sit down and think about what you want! listen to yourself and no one else. us girls are always here for you.
good luck 🙂b x
yeah it is possible but RARELY happens, if your worried get a pregnancy test or go to the doctors
b x
i was on the injection, came off it beginning of march, so i havent had a period since november- forgot to mention that.
so i cant even figure it out by tat.
i dont know why they dont a blood test.
im all confused
x
i was 15 when i fell pregnant, 16 when i had my abortion.
15 weeks pregnant.
the 1st july 2008, the day that completely ruined my life.trust me, an abortion isnt easy, and there will not be a second when you dont think about your baby.
if i could go back in time, believe me when i say i would never of gone through with it.and the end of the day, you have put yourself in that situation and have now got a baby growing inside you. your baby.
there will be hard moments but you can do this, everyone will support you in the end. and you always have th support of the girls here!!x
hello my sweet,
you know what i think,
i dont think you can forgive her, but if you do it is going to take a lot of hard work, effort and time.have you told ollie yet?
i still believe she will change her attitude once the baby is here, her grandchild!
come talk to me darling, and we’re talk properly yeah?
love you girl xx
Congratulations on your baby girl 🙂
hope your both doing well,
take carelots of love,
Bernardette xyou could light a candle or something.
i personally walked along the beach on my due date (20th December 2008), i still cried but i wasnt locking myself away if that makes sense.i could get fresh air, and think about my baby in the better place she is now.
i know this may not help, but in a way it might- if that makes any sense whatsoever aha.
lots of love,
B xAlthough i had already had my abortion before i found this site, i believe Stand Up Girl is a brilliant website!!
and im so glad i have found my way to this site and the help the girls have given me.You have all helped me in very different ways and i am so grateful!!
i know if i had found my way here when i found out i was pregnant then you would of all given me the support to stand up to my mum, but sadly i didnt.
so many girls hae been helped here, and so many lives are being saved because of the support given! and i think its even better when the girls share there stories, they have such an impact on others and are wonderful mothers
x
my brother also has downs syndrome, hes 13 and the light in my life. my hero! he has had 2 heart bipasses and spent about 40-45% of his life in hospital. he has had some many problems over the years,
but he is the happiest boy i have ever met!i would never replace Henry, some people used to say to me “wouldnt you like a ‘normal’ brother?!”
but what is normal.my brother has made me who i am today, and i wouldnt wish to have him any different!
there isnt a day in my life when he doesnt make me smile! his cheesy grin, his woody the woodpecker laugh, his cute little button nose, they way he comforts me when im upset and wont leave till im smiling again, the list goes on!!he is so friendly, he loves everyone and everyone loves him!
no one should be ashamed of having a child with any type of special needs, yeah it can be more hard work than a child without special needs- a ‘normal’ child as some may say. but you get some much love, happiness and joy from your child.
your child is your child no matter what they are born with, downs syndrome, autistism, cerebal palsy, learning difficulites, speech difficulites.
try not to get stressed, keep yourself calm and take prenatal vitamins, my doctor gave me folic acid.
again, Congratulations; so happy for you and your baby daddy :). speak to you later babe 🙂
Bernardette x
go to the doctors and have a blood test, they will tell you if you are pregnant or not- better than a pregnancy test.
best of luck
x
Congratualations 🙂
sorry about your boyfriend, but hes the one thats gona miss out!!best of luck with the pregnancy and baby,
keep us up to date yeah?take care
Bernardette xyour best bet, is to go to the doctors.
the implant isnt 100% effective, no contraception is!what symptoms are you having?
i think you should have a talk with your doctor and see what he says.xx
hello sweetheart, im Bernardette.
i too had an abortion, mine 11 months ago. i was 15 weeks 3 days; so not far off you.i know exactly how you feel, how hurt you are, how much you cant forgive yourself, how guilty you feel, how all you want to do is break down and cry. it hurts! some people have no regret, some people say it gets easier over time, some people are affected by it for the rest of their lives- i am that person, my life has been ruined by it!
But that doesnt mean your life is going to be ruined!! im not saying that at all. ive let it ruin my life, people say if you talk about it and express exactly how you feel then it gets better. i have only spoken to the girls on here (and a counsellor briefly)
Im glad you have your mum and boyfriend to talk about this, my mum basically turned her back when i told her i was pregnant and forced me to abort. and my boyfriend doesnt open up about it so i dont talk to him about it.
alot of girls here say that God and your baby have forgiven you, now its time to fogive yourself. but to be honest that didnt help me. so im gona say something to you that was said to me, which has helped me a little.
‘your baby loves you and always will. you will meet him/her one day and see how much love you have for one another. your baby will always be your baby no matter what happens. and you will always be his/her mother!! no one can ever take that away from you!!’darling dont be afraid to cry. dont be afraid to grieve and mourn! you have lost your child, you are allowed to be grieve!! your allowed to be upset.
and remember there are a lot of girls on here and that you can talk to. me being one of them. im always here to talk or just listen, and hopefully help you. dont ever feel like you are alone, coz your really not!! and its sounds like you have a really supportive family which is really helpful.
dont be afraid to come and talk to me if you want to.
take care sweetheart!
Bernardette x
hello sweetheart,
i think you should go to the doctors, get a blood test or do a pregnancy test to see.
if you had a miscarriage, you would know! so i dont think thats it.the same thing happened to me in april, but i wasnt pregnant nor was it implantation bleeding.
like i said, if you worried- go to the doctor and find out for sure, if you get yourself worried then your mind can play tricks on you; which could be the feeling sick in the mornings. and i dont think you would go up loads of bra sizes in such a short time.
how old are you?well let us know yeah?
take care 🙂Bernardette x
hello sweetheart,
mine hurt when im due on and normally start about a week im due on.
it hasnt always happened, it just came on one month and has carried on since then.so the same thing might be happening to you, if you really worried go to the doctors to double check.
hope everything turns out alright 🙂
take careBernardette x
i could of been a false positive.
when are you due your period? see if you are late, or are you already late?or go to the doctors and have a blood test as they will be able to tell you for certain 🙂
best of luck
Bernardette xhello sweetheart. i know how it feels to have an abortion. and i know how it feels to be worried about not being able to have children after.
go to the doctors, i asked my doctor and he felt my belly and that and said everything felt fine.
i cant remember if he said tests can be done or not, but i think your best bet is to go to the doctors and find out.hope everything is all ok, and best of luck trying for a baby when you do 🙂
Bernardette x
i was thinking i could write her a letter, coz then i dont have to go through the whole thing as i know i will cry!
what do you think. she has gone away for a week so i could write it and send it when she gets back.
xx
Hello sweetheart,
a few years ago i went out with guy, we were together for about a year- we spilt up for reason im not going to go into but i thought i would never get over him- i thought he was perfect, i thought he was my everything.
when we spilt went out with a few guys after him but everyone i measured up to my ex and there was never any competition- my ex always won it.
always in my mind that we would get back together.
well about 6/7 months after that i meet my now boyfriend, and i realised that my ex wasnt perfect, he was a druggie and a dealer, he treated me really badly, took me for grated, and had no respect for me.
i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and i am so happy!!it is going to take time to get over your ex sweetheart, you wont wake up one morning soon and be over him. but it will take longer if you hold on to him.
you two will always be connected through your son, but dont use that against him.
ive read stories about girls who use there children to get there ex’s back- dont do it. things will become worse!!!
you may think he is perfect now, but i bet you will meet someone later in life and realise that he’s not perfect! believe me darling.concerntrate on being an exellent mummy to your son, and school!! i know you can do it.
im always here to talk, if you ever want to.
take care.Bernardette x
Darling, listen to Meg!
i just want you to hear my story to see if it changes your mind at all..
I fell pregnant 2 months before my 16th. i had only been with my boyfriend 6 months- however he stuck by me and we were over the moon. however when i told my mum she forced me into an abortion.
its been 10 months since. a big number of people believe i am depressed. I dont go out, i cry myself to sleep everynight, i have nightmares, im extremely surprised my boyfriend is still with me, ive lost my sex drive, i pushed myself away from my friends, i hate my mum and we rarely talk, i think about my baby every second of the day without fail!
It has ruined my life, mentally, emotionally in every way you can think off.you said your self you cant imagine your first baby being with another family- what about your first baby being aborted- thats along the same lines- either way you wont know your child.
talk to alot of the girls on here- they have been in a simuiliar situation and are brillant mums!
think about what i have said please darling.
take care,
and feel free to talk to me if you want to know more at anytime.Bernardette x
Dear Kirtsy,
Try not to get stressed as this can delay your period.
I agree with VictoriaGirl, go to the doctors and get a blood test- this way you will know for sure!
Let us know what happens yeah?
Take Care
Bernardette x
