seedsofhope

That’s amazing!! And what a blessing. Congratulations!

Well, I can tell you that it’s not uncommon to want a baby at your age, And it’s not necessarily wrong to want one either.. but I know from experience that having a baby at 17/18 years old is hard. It’s a lot harder than you might think. And the really hard part isn’t when you are 17 or 18.. it’s when your child gets older and you are still young.

I was two months shy of turning 18 when I had my first daughter. The first few months weren’t terribly *difficult* as she was a baby. She really didn’t do much or require more than a dry diaper, warm place to sleep and a full tummy. It was as she got older that it became increasingly difficult.

When your child turns 5 and you want to buy them everything because you love them so much, you most likely won’t be able to because you’ll only be 22-23 and just getting on your feet. If you are still in school and plan to go to college, that is a big time commitment.

When your child is 9 or 10 and you want to enroll them in sports activities, it will be hard because you will probably have to work a lot and you’ll be missing games ‘n stuff.

I’m not the type of person who thinks only about money and that you have to be financially secure to have kids, but I have seen and LIVED it myself. I’m now 35 and have added more children in the mix and I can tell you with certainty that it is a much different scenario being a mom at 17 than at 27. My two oldest kids are almost 10 years apart.

t 17 I thought I knew who I was , where I was going and what I was going to do with my life. Turns out, none of that happened.

My advice is to wait 1.) until you are married to have children (or sex for that matter). For whatever reason, it IS a different experience (better :blush: B) ) when you are married. and 2.) wait until you are where you want to be in your life before bringing a child into chaos. It is manageable, of course, but there are a lot of hard times being a parent so young.

I can’t tell you which is better for you, adoption or keeping your baby… but I CAN tell you that you’ve already made the right choice in giving your child life and not terminating the pregnancy. 😉

You have lots of time to decide what to do. But it sounds to me like you are already growing attached to the baby growing inside of you. And THAT’S OK! It’s your child. In either case, you will need to surround yourself with people who support you. Have you already shared the news with the father and our family?

Gabby,
i’ve been keeping up on your posts for quite sometime. I’m so sorry your heart is broken.

I think that your grief will be a great motivator in you becoming an awesome mother. You will not take one day for granted in the new life that you are creating and will treat her with so much love and tenderness it will radiate off of you.

I have not suffered loss thru abortion, but have thru stillbirth. My daughter Charlotte Nicole died in my womb at 36 weeks in December of 2006. It’s been almost 3 years and I still think of her every. single. day.

The first year was the most difficult, but it does still hurt. I have since gone on to have another baby, but he will never take the place of Charlotte; nor would I want him to. You see, she was a different person and loosing her shaped me. Although I would NEVER want to go thru that again, I am thankful for that experience. I learned how to treasure every breath.

You are in my thoughts, dear one.

this is a tough one.
First of all, he needs to know who is in charge. Right now, he thinks it’s him.

he’s not too young to talk to about his behavior, but at this age, you may well get his attention much faster by being very stern and “hands on” with him.

Once he starts screaming, I would take him aside IMMEDIATELY and tell him that that isn’t acceptable. That you don’t “do” that kind of thing. Just by removing him from the situation you will have his attention cuz he’s gonna be like.. “huh?? where are we going??” Take him to his bedroom or somewhere quiet. And frankly.. somewhere boring. He’ll soon learn that it’s no fun and he’s not getting the reaction he wants from you.

I’d also get in his face a little bit. Show him that you are bigger and have the authority. Don’t scare him, but show him you are the boss, not him. Carefully use your words. Tell him that he is not acting nicely or that you like it better when he doesn’t scream at you. You can redirect him to other things, but you should try not to tell him that he’s a bad boy or whatnot. He doesn’t have the capacity to separate his ACTIONS from his PERSON yet and might feel like you think he IS bad. KWIM?? Try to phrase things in the postitive rather than the negative and praise him for calming down.

I’d definately look into changing her formula. Also she may be teething or getting ready to. When that happens, babies sometimes don’t want to be bothered with eating because their gums hurt. But she DEFINATELY needs to be eating more then 3 bottles a day.

Some people advise against it, but I would try puttin little cereal in her bottle. She needs to gain weight. Hve you tried to feed her babyfoods yet? That’s another option. But please try something. Bbies can still be healthy when they are small, but her lack of wanting to eat is unusual. If she isn’t eating, her blood sugars could be low which isn’t good for her development. Also she will be come a little limp and lethargic and not want to do much but sleep. It’s a cycle. So try to put some more food in her. 😉

Hey Girl.. I’m just gonna give you some advice from my personal opinion, take it for what it’s worth. And FYI.. I’m a mom of 5 (4 at home, 1 in Heaven) and my youngest is 6 months old…

1.) Babies should stick with formula until 1 year of age. After that, they should have whole cow’s milk with vitamin D (but they do make formula for older babies 9 months to 12 months.) Typically doctors and WIC advise you to wait till the baby is a little older to start food, this is mostly because babies can develop allergies to common foods. It doesn’t really have a whole lot to do with thir sensitive tummys, but if you are introducing new foods slowly and making sure there are no reactions, then baby should be ok. You also should be aware of the baby’s readiness. They have “cues” to look for such as the ability to support their own head (should be able to sit up, actually), open their mouth in anticipation of the spoon and being able to push the food from the front of their mouth to the back to swallow it. Some peeople give cereal or babyfood to babies in the bottle, but you have to be careful with that as well because this can cause a baby to be a lazy eater (they actually NEED to learn the skills of eating) and they can gain too much weight too fast.
You mentioned that your baby spits up after eating because he’s too full. A little bit is ok, but he shouldn’t be barfing everything up because of overeating. After his meals (assuming he’s eating say a jar of babyfood/cereal with a 6-8 oz bottle per feeding).. try offering him a pacifier. He may need the extra sucking for comfort, not feeding. When they are teething (my boys all started teething really early too) just be gentle with the spoon, or offer the bottle.

And as for weaning from a bottle, you can start offering him a cup with his meals or a tippy (not sippy) cup. If you are trying to get him off the bottle, don’t give him the cups with the no-spill spouts where they have to suck the liquid out. Those are really no different than a bottle. A “tippy” cup has the little holes at the spout that will leak a bit, so be warned the baby will be getting their shirt wet:P . lol. But soon enough, they will learn how to drink from a cup. My daughter was off of a bottle by her first birthday:woohoo: .

2.)It’s not possible to spoil a baby, especially this young. Lots of people will say that you can, but really, what you are doing is meeting your child’s needs. Even a baby that may be constantly fussy or a general pain in the rear has needs that have to be met. When the baby cries and you pick him up, you are teaching him that you are there for him. Even at this very young age, you are teaching your child to trust you. This is a big deal! They do need to learn how to “self soothe” but it is totally a good thing to help them along. Say your son is crying. You just fed him, he isn’t sick, he has a dry diaper, just had a bath, etc. But for whatever reason, he’s fussy or crying. It’s ok to pick him up and hold him/rock him/ love on him. You are teaching him that you are close, nearby and able to meet his needs. Now if he still is fussing try putting him down in his crib. If he cries, it’s ok to let him for maybe 5-7 minutes at a time. Even if they get really ticked off and are turning red, it’s ok. Go back in in a few minutes and get him. If he’s fussy in your arms again after a while put him down again. Keep doing this until he either passes out from being so tired, or till he’s able to be clam in his crib. Of couse if your mommy instinct is telling you to offer a bottle or whatnot, then try it.. but the point is… YOU CAN’T SPOIL A BABY.

3.) You can check Walmart online for a bath seat thing. It suctions to the bottom of the bathtub and helps them sit up. Of course, never leave the baby unattended.

4.) Babies love simple picture books. Try to find a board book with chubby pages. He will probably try to chew on the corners of the books, so make sure you find some without thin pages. I bet more than anything ,he’s enjoying spending time with you and the closeness of you reading to him. You are actually teaching him a lot by the simple act of reading out loud to him. He’s learning speech patterns, word recognition and most importantly, bonding with you! keep up the good work, mama!

5.) Unfortunately you can not completely prevent falls and tumbles. But you can limit their chance of getting hurt by keeping a very close eye on them. Don’t leave them unattended and use baby gates and barriers to stairs. Prevention is the key.

Children NEED to crawl and climb to develop normally. Getting small bumps and bruises comes with the territory. So allow them to try things in moderation with supervision. Your reaction is critical when they do get hurt though. If you freak out and scream or cry when they get hurt, you can scare them and teach them that that activity is something to fear. Insted, try to be cheerful or chipper, but ready to kisss a boobo and hug ’em. This will give them confidence to keep on truckin’ and reassure them that they are ok.

6.) For the movie thing.. it’s my opinion that you should keep that stuff away from kids and babies no matter how old they are. Scarey and inappropriate movies/tv/music really can set your kid up to have issues as they grow. I’m not saying they will turn into axe murderers or any thing like that, but it does ingrain a lack of respect for life in their minds. It can scare them, give them nightmares, de-sensitize them to morals and values etc. Basically, it can confuse them. I’d just keep it away.

7.) For school, there is a lot to consider there. Are you being supported by your family? Monetarily and emotionally? That makes a big difference on your options. If you are able to go to school now, I think that is the best option. A diploma is a better way to go also (in my opinion). Not that there is anything wrong with a GED.. but that is kind of a shortcut. I was in high school when I got pregnant and later went to college. And I can tell you this.. it’s much easier to stay in school than to stop and start all over. And Caden is young. It’s so much easier to do when they are little and you’re not having to help them with their homework ‘n stuff like that.

As for questions 8 & 9.. well, they go hand in hand 🙂 .
really, truly… the best way to help your child to grow in the Christian faith is to live it out in front of them. Start by reading the Bible to them and >>most inportantly<< pray in front of them ((out loud!!)It may be kind of embarrassing to you at first, but tey really don't know enough to think it's funny or weird, ya know? You will not only be teaching them how to talk to God but also how to trust in Him. If they see you doing it as a normal part of your day, they will learn that it's ok and that they can turn to Him too. Don't be afraid to talk about things of God to them either. They are going to believe whatever you tell them, simply because you are their mom. Getting them used to hearing about Jesus and what He's done for them on the cross is the foundation for the rest of their lives. If you do this consistently, not only will you be weaving faith into your children's lives, but YOU WILL find peace and contentment in your own life, I PROMISE!!

If you have any other questions about that or need a Bible, pm me! :kiss:

Well, I was once in your situation, but my test was positive.

First of all, you have to figure out if you really are pregnant or not. That will dteremine how you move forward.

If you find that you are indeed pregnant, then try not to stress. It’s not the end of the world like some people may tell you it is.

I found out I was pregnant 4 days before my senior year started. Insted of going to school for my classes, I went to a clinic and got a positive pregnancy test.

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not easy. But like I said, it’s not the end of the world, either.

My daughter is now 15, almost 16 yrs old. I can’t imagine life without her. We struggled, but we made it. And so will you!

Hey Girl!
Yes, it is normal. You are feeling a heavy burden and it is totally normal.

Although I have not had an abortion (almost did…) my second daughter was stillborn -meaning she died in my womb when she was full term-. I too struggled with wanting another baby right away.

Even if you had always planned on aborting your baby, your body was still preparing for it to be born. So you had increased hormones and things that now have nothing to prepare for.

That, on top of the mental reality of what you did I’m sure is making your head spin.

It is not a good idea to go out and try to get pregnant again to help ease the pain of your suffereing. No matter what, it will never bring your other child back, in fact, it can be quite a heavy load mentally.

Although my situation was different, being pregnant again after a loss is very difficult. It’s not all rosey and cheeky like you think it might be.

I’m sorry for your anxiety. I know first hand how nerve wracking waiting can be.

I have heard of long bone shortening in relation to the things you described, but I haven’t experienced it. My daughter, Charlotte, was found to have many things wrong with her while I was pregnant. I found out at 17, almost 18 weeks and it seemed like an eternity to have the final results!

I also declined an amnio, which left the doctors baffled as to why I didn’t want to *know* more. But for me, it was only going to tell us if she if really did have a problem or not, not how I would handle it… which we would find out sooner or later anyway. What an amnio would have done (IMO) is scared me so bad that I would be afraid of my baby.

So insted, I waited it out.

Because you say that you will love her just the same anyway, then do just that. Love her anyway.

If it turns out that your baby does in fact have health issues, you will be prepared to take care of them when the time comes. It may seem daunting and scarrey, but you will have had time to love her so much that you will see past all of the problems anyway.

When the doctors told me that my baby would be born (if at all) with deformities, Down’s being one of ’em, I was so sad. Then as time progressed, I saw a little boy and his mom at the grocery store. He clearly had Down’s… but you know what I thought? Wow! That mom is so lucky to have such a beautiful boy. Really.

When you are faced with raising a child with problems, or not raising one at all…it breaks your heart to think that you would not have them with you. PM me anytime if you’d like to chat. I’v been there.

First of all… congratulations on deciding to quit smoking!!! I’m sure it’s a tough thing to quit cold turkey the way you did, but it’s a really smart move. Not only for your baby, but for yourself!

Second, although yes, it wasn’t the best thing to have been smoking while you are pregnant it’s better to have stopped now rather than later.

You baby is developing at such a rapid rate that by you stopping, you have given them some time to “catch up”. Not that they are developmentally delayed, but that you are giving them a fresh start. Good for you! Chances are, you and your baby are going to be just fine. You’ve already got the makin’s of a good mommy. 🙂

I gave birth to a daughter that was "not normal", but she was still born.

I do not have any living children that are not normal.

The hardest child I had to pt is my second son who is now 3 1/2. He is fine during the day, but at night he still has accidents. But with my other kids I’ve learned that shutting them off of liquids about an hour or so before bedtime (and making them go before they get in bed) has cut down the accidents tremendously.

He also doesn’t mind one bit in wearing the pull-ups to bed. So I’m working on encouraging him to not wear them at night.