Meg11

I just want to clarify that sex does not bring your period faster but it can actually delay your period longer, sex can actually delay your period for 9 months….sorry for the joke there, Couldn’t resist the opportunity there…LOL…anyways on a more serious note it is true that sex can delay your period and it is a very irresponsible thing to do to have sex a lot to try to make your period come on faster, if you are not pregnant then having sex right before your period could get you pregnant as many women are most fertile right before…I would suggest refraining from sexual contact at least until you know whether or not you are pregnant that way you avoid becoming pregnant in the meantime…if you are not in a spot where you are stable and ready for a child I would suggest refraining from sex until marriage as that is the best time to welcome a child…Love Meg

Hey there, I went through something similar with my first, they told me I had PID but I had NEVER had an STD and I didn’t have one at the time, my aunt educated me extremely well on stds so I knew I didn’t have it, I ended up being pregnant and they found scarring in my left tube, she was caught in my tube, miraculously she slipped out and planted in my uterus at 7 weeks along and that is what all of my pain was associated with, please go to a different doctor and question them about tubal pregnancy, there is a chance that you could be experiencing that, I am not a doctor so don’t take my word you need to be seen…you do not have to have an abortion either, no one can force it on you, they can threaten but they cannot force you, your mom has a legal obligation to care for you, you are a minor right? She cannot kick you out according to law, find a number in your phone book for adult and family services, they can help you get free medical benefits and free legal help….please write back and let me know what you find out…Love Meg

Hey Kailyn, I want you to know that what you are feeling is normal and it is a good thing to want….I want to make a comparison for you though, if a married man has a secretary at work and she is beautiful and dresses in tight clothes and smells nice it is not wrong for him to notice those things, he should not feel guilty for noticing her scent, her beauty or even the shape of her body, that is something that is just about unavoidable, however if he chooses to act on any feelings brought on my the way she looks, smells, or acts towards him then that would be wrong, you said yourself that you are not financially ready and are not in a relationship, that shows maturity on your part to think of those things and I believe that you are mature enough and responsible enough to hear my opinion, I believe that if you act on the feelings you have and find a guy to get you pregnant that it would be a selfish decision….it would be unfair to all involved, I had two kids from two dads out of wedlock and I have had one child with my husband, there is such a HUGE difference….purposely getting pregnant out of a solid and committed marriage is robbing yourself of the joys and freedoms that you will someday find by doing things the “old fashioned way”…you know that song, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage….LOL…that is what I got to experience with my husband and it was awesome, I want for you to have that same blessing that I robbed myself of with my first two, they are the ones who carry the consequences, I have some but not like they do….please don’t feel guilty, you shouldn’t, just like a man who notices a beautiful woman and wants his wife to dress that way, but acting on it is something you need to wait on….I am so glad you found the site and I look forward to visiting with you in this New Year!! Love Meg

Anytime you engage in sexual activity and sperm comes in contact with your reproductive area then you can become pregnant, you mentioned you are trying to get pregnant? Does your BF know? Have you two sat down and make a plan, discussed waiting until you have committed to each other in marriage first? The best thing to do is wait until you are late in starting your period (if you are not then there is a pretty for sure answer), take a test and let us all know what happens….Love Meg

Do the two of you have any plans for marriage? Since your mom kicked you out would she go ahead and sign for you to be married? Does he have his own place? Do you have everything you need?…I just want to make sure that you are ok…did you two meet at school?…Love Meg

I hate UTI’s, I have dealt with them frequently my WHOLE life…I was more prone to them during pregnancy and with my last I was on antibiotics for several months on and off…the best way to know if you need to have your kidneys checked out is if you are having pain in your back, basically where your ribs are but on your back, it will be a dull throbbing pain and you can feel where it is traveling from your bladder up your sides…at least I have gotten so used to the pain that I have learned how to tell, my UTI’s travel to my kidneys in a bout 24 hours time…ugh…anyways you can buy cranberry pills over the counter and I now take them every day, there is something about cranberries that lines your urethra and prevents bacteria from sticking, what I think you should do is keep some baby wipes in your bathroom, every time you go to the bathroom clean down there really well, from front to back, if you are sexually active clean down there immediately before and after sex and make sure you go pee after asap..call your doctor, if you have a UTI take your antibiotics until they are gone, take them on time, don’t miss a pill, even if it starts feeling better you need to finish them as directed, take cranberry pills and pay close attention to your body and note any back pain where your kidneys are located….I am not a doctor so this shouldn’t be taken as medical advice, just from one person who HATES and deals with UTI’s constantly to another….I hope this helps a little bit!! Love Meg

I lost my mucus plug with my second child around 36 weeks, sometimes you can lose it and it will reform, I would call your doctor since you are only at 29-30 weeks, I would lay low, avoid lifting anything over 5 lbs and no baths until you have seen your doctor and been advised different…you do need to make the call though, if you have lost your plug but your cervix is clamped shut and not dilated then chances are you have a while before you need to worry, if you are dilating then you may have some issues and need to be on strict bed rest, because I am not a doctor this comes just from general knowledge and info I have gleaned from having 3 kids….please call in and be sure to get checked out!! Keep your hospital bag packed just in case…let us all know what happens…Love Meg

What a great video and wonderful words of wisdom Anakie, I couldn’t have said it better myself….

I just want to add to what Eva said, safe sex does not just mean birth control and condoms, they are not 100% effective even when used together….true safe sex would be one man and one woman being together in a monogamous relationship, preferably marriage, committed and solid, I had HPV and because I am in a solid committed monogamous marriage it went away on its own and I have not had any signs of cancer…sadly for many they do not get as “lucky”…aids is irreversible, so is herpes and the damaged caused by other diseases going untreated for too long can render you infertile or worse…I think someone in a committed monogamous relationship like marriage can benefit from “safe sex” to prevent pregnancy but if and when that method fails they do not find themselves in crisis because they have each other and their life established together already….just wanted to throw my two cents in to clarify “safe sex”…

Hey there sweetie…for starters I want you to know that I do not judge you or think bad of you, just because you feel that way about yourself it doesn’t mean that everyone else will feel that way towards you….I am really sorry that this had to be your first experience…You used the words “had sex with me” “I layed there while he used my body” That is exactly what happened, you didn’t have sex, he had sex with you, sex is something that should be engaged in by both partners, in a way you were raped, maybe not forcibly or violently but someone had sex with your body while you were extremely impaired….I have been through the same thing, almost identical to your situation, it makes you feel so worthless and dirty and at the time it seems like turning around and knowingly choosing to have sex will “reverse” what has happened and it doesn’t…then what, are you going to keep repeating the process? I did for years and after a while I felt dirty, used and worthless….there is nothing that can reverse it, however there are things you can do to lessen the shame, guilt, I decided to stop having sex after I had gotten pregnant with my second child from a second father, I felt so done, worthless and used up….I went 2 1/2 years without having sex until my wedding night, it has only been since I have been married that i have learned what having sex is supposed to be like….sex should never feel like you are just laying there putting up with what someone else is doing, you should not have to feel guilty or dirty after having sex, you should not be ashamed of the person that you had sex with, if and when you have these feelings it should be a red flag that something is not right…sex should be mutually enjoyed by both the man and the woman, what I have learned through my own experience is that if a guy loves you enough he will wait for you, my husband did, he proved to me that he wants more than sex from me and he did that my waiting until our wedding night!! Also a guy who respects you will not take advantage of you in a drunken state….even in a marriage relationship I do not think a man should have sex with his wife if she is so intoxicated that she doesn’t know up from down…he takes a risk of hurting his wife, lets face it, we are sensitive “down there” and if a woman is so messed up she may not be able to speak up and let him know that she is in pain or uncomfortable….you should never put yourself in a situation to be taken advantage of, protect yourself, if you choose to continue in this habit of getting really drunk, to the point of black out or near black out then you should make sure that you are with women only and that you do not leave the location, however it sounds like making these kids of decisions are not working out for you too well….I don’t think you should lie about your virginity, it will enable you to live in secret, shameful denial about your not so wonderful experiences and in the long run by doing so you will allow yourself to remain vulnerable to have it happen again…I was not a virgin for my husband, I had already given birth twice, he loved me and respected me anyways…if a guy has a problem with that then he is not looking at you as a special jewel, he is looking at you as a possession…someone to be “conquered” so to speak…I hope this helps a little, I think if you make a solid choice to stop having sex and allow yourself to heal and find that self respect and good pride again you will find it easier to forgive yourself….I am here if you ever want to talk…Love Meg

Hey there, first of all I wanted to comment on your profile picture, girl…you are too cute!! I LOVE your hair…ok, now to be serious for a few moments, You are 18, you are a legal adult, this is your body, your baby, he cannot force you to have an abortion, he can make threats and pull your heart strings but he cannot shove you into a clinic and demand that you have an abortion…this will have to be your decision and NO ONE can make it for you no matter how much they would want to, including me….I think that adoption is a very loving alternative to abortion, they have open adoptions and I know several people who have placed their children through this type of adoption and have a wonderful ongoing consistent relationship with their kids and the families…You know, I have not been “diagnosed” but I have bi-polar tendencies, it can be hard somedays just to keep my eyes open and get out of bed and then other days I cannot find enough things to accomplish, it is a hit and miss things often times, I ended up with pretty bad post partum depression after I had my last child and I was put on medication for it, it has changed my life and I think I do better with it than I did before I had the post partum depression….I also take vitamin D3 and that helps too because I live in a place where sunlight is rare…LOL…it is usually cloudy and overcast and I don’t get a lot of natural vitamin D…so with that said, I think you make it very clear that you do not want an abortion, you do not agree with the concept and action of abortion yet you have these very valid fears…when I got pregnant the first time at 19 the dad told me he would leave me if I didn’t get an abortion, I ended up keeping my baby and we broke up, we got back together and then broke up again about a month later, then got back together when my daughter was 3 weeks old and stayed together for over a year, I remember it was the first and only time we ever got family pictures done, she was searing the cutest pink fuzzy outfit with a matching head band, we argued the whole way home and as we pulled into the driveway he yelled at me right in front of her 13 months old, and told me he wished I would have had the f*ing abortion….it was not much longer after that when I finally left him, he was abusive and controlling and that is saying it nicely in a nutshell, I saw his heart and it was ugly, how could he look at her after spending a year with her watching her walk, talk, smile, etc….see right now he is scared, just like you are but he doesn’t have the attachment that you do, he cannot feel the life running through his veins that you can, he does not have a protective feeling surging through his body like you do…even though you just found out last night I bet you feel that, you know what is inside of you, you can feel this precious little part of you, small and fragile yes, but there and alive….it usually takes a guy seeing and holding his baby to become a daddy…and as I shared with my story, he left anyways, if he is going to leave you he will leave whether you have the abortion or not, but ultimately you will be the one left with the responsibility whether you have an abortion or not…you will live with the guilt and the empty aching arms, not him, and if you keep the baby and he leaves you can file for child support, he will HAVE to pay, no choice on his part…he can make empty threats all he wants but it is the law…he says he is way too young to be a dad, he IS a dad, he HAS fathered a child, this IS HIS BABY, nothing will change that, same for you, you ARE a mom, ALWAYS will be and nothing will change that, abortion does not erase the life, it just ends it while in YOUR body, You will be left with the consequences, those consequences vary, some girls do it and claim to be ok, most of the time their lives and future decisions prove them wrong, others end up suicidal, more depressed than they were being pregnant and turn to drugs and alcohol and promiscuity….I don’t want that for you, what can you loose by carrying this baby to term and if nothing else place him/her with a loving family of YOUR CHOICE? you can loose a boyfriend who obviously does not love you as he claims if he will not man up and STAND by your side? You can lose some freedom temporarily, but those things are not what life is about, your baby needs you, you are his/her life source, can you sacrifice for a few months and use that time to make up your mind about parenting versus adoption? I mean the risks there are much less painful than the life long regret of abortion…..go ahead and call this number for me, 1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can have your pregnancy confirmed, have an ultrasound and get some counseling on all of your options….all of their services are FREE and CONFIDENTIAL and your boyfriend would be welcomed to be a part of all of it if you chose to have him with you….I hope this helps a bit, I am here for you along with so many other girls who have been in your shoes, they may feel awkward at first but once you break them in you will be able to Stand comfortably on your own….please write back and let me know what you are thinking and don’t hesitate to ask any more questions…it shows that you are mature and much more adult like than you give yourself credit for to be seeking a “second opinion”…you are not alone….take care and lots of love….Meg

That is awesome, I am also in my 5th year of being clean and sober, I used to use all kinds of drugs and yeah, you have to do things one day at a time…you can never fully know the future but there are certain things that you can set in place to help prevent certain things in your future….I mean you can live your life perfectly and make all kinds of plans then get in an horrid accident or be attacked and permanently injured and such, you cannot know or prevent something like that but you can protect yourself from self inflicted set backs such as premarital sex, that can prevent you from disease and pregnancy…now being raped is another subject but like I said that is not a self inflicted set back that will change your plans…I know what you mean about when you see him you will know if your relationship will be furthered…I just hope that if it is that the two of you can get off to a better start, a fresh clean slate and find something in each other that is worth waiting for, it adds so much more excitement to the relationship when you know that you wont have sex, you seek to know more about the other person, the deeper things, you are free to explore the others mind and not just default to have sex out of lack of things to talk about or do…LOL….