i need advice..

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      … i was with a guy for about 2 months…. we were basically living together and around the week of christmas was when my baby was concieved… the guy and i broke up on christmas day.. having no idea about this baby… on dec 27th i was admitted into the hospital… the pregnancy tests came back negative… and the doctors said i had a bacterial infection… i went home that day with antibiotics to take… i remained having pains in my stomach after the antibiotics were over and i went to the doctor on january 14th to ask for pain killers… that was the day that i foundout i was pregnant… my doctor was guessing i was about 2 weeks at the time, and that scared me because i didnt want it to not have been my exs… i was admitted into the hospital 2 hours later… and they found out on top of being FOUR weeks pregnant i had PID… caused by bacterial infections, stds etc. and i was allergic to the medicines to cure it.. i had 12 vials of blood pulled that night and two days later all std tests had came back negative… i was soo relieved to had found out that, and that my baby HAD to have been my boyfriends.. well my ex. My mother had been told by my doctor that i was pregnant.. and after i was released from the hospital on sunday..my mom informed me on monday that i had to get an abortion or get out… this was the woman who i thought of as my bestfriend, and she was betraying me.. im now 6 weeks pregnant… the babys father is completely out of my life. im out of my moms house.. ive been admitted into the hospital a second time… and the pains just continue to get worse… i do not like needles, the hospital scares me… and everytime i turn around… i keep getting more sick, and not in the way of vomitting… im scared. i dont want to kill my baby, but my abortion appointment is on feb 6th… i do not knowwhat to choose or what to think. i cant do this on my own, im only a junior in highschool.. my father and his girlfriend have taken me in… she has a 12 yearold daughter who i want to be able to be a great sister for… please help me, i am scared and confused. this baby is making me very unhealthy… and im losing alll hope..


        Hey there, I went through something similar with my first, they told me I had PID but I had NEVER had an STD and I didn’t have one at the time, my aunt educated me extremely well on stds so I knew I didn’t have it, I ended up being pregnant and they found scarring in my left tube, she was caught in my tube, miraculously she slipped out and planted in my uterus at 7 weeks along and that is what all of my pain was associated with, please go to a different doctor and question them about tubal pregnancy, there is a chance that you could be experiencing that, I am not a doctor so don’t take my word you need to be seen…you do not have to have an abortion either, no one can force it on you, they can threaten but they cannot force you, your mom has a legal obligation to care for you, you are a minor right? She cannot kick you out according to law, find a number in your phone book for adult and family services, they can help you get free medical benefits and free legal help….please write back and let me know what you find out…Love Meg


          i actually have seen three doctors. and one did an ultra sound and never mentioned anything about it not being okay… i went to the doctor today and she said im just having “pregnancy pains” may i mind you that i could barely walk on monday because of these pains in my pelvic area…. last night i felt really really sickk but hungry at the same time. im scared like, the babys dad informed me today that if i went through with the pregnancy he was taking the baby from me … and hes using the fact that ive been on depression medications for a year now, against me… he has no job. lives with his parents. has a girlfriend. and wants nothing to do with me… i feel that im doing really well with not stressing over everything thats going on.. but im still torn over that fact that what i should do, is just going to scar me emotionally for the rest of my life…


            You don’t have to have an abortion, it is completely up to you what you do with your body, future and child. Look at you, your so strong already. Your ex is stupid for leaving you in such a state and your Mum really needs to realise what she is missing out on. I am sorry to say that because she is your bestfriend but I know what it is like to feel like your Mum isn’t there. Hang in there girl, I have faith in you! xx


              My daughters dad tried pulling the same strings, he wanted me to have an abortion soooo bad but then when I said no he is going to step in and take her from me?? Hello that makes no sense, if you don’t kill my baby I am going to take it from you and use anti depressants against you, hello like you couldn’t go to the court and use the whole abortion thing against him?? They are empty, pathetic threats that will NEVER come to pass…my daughter is almost 8 now, he has not seen her in over 4 years and just now started paying child support in the last month….don’t believe the threats, he is just trying to make you have an abortion and you should listen to missyb, she knows from experience and she doesn’t want you to go through what she has….Love Meg


                yes! meg is right! you shouldn’t have an abortion., it was a gift that you should take good care!;) time will come your mom will be able to accept your pregnancy., try to fight for your baby! about the stupid father., don’t mind him., he was just scaring you., if he intend to get your baby soon., you have all the rights., you are the mother! because here in our country the mother has more rights than the father., and besides., if you give birth., do not put his name on the birth certificate of your baby., use your surname., for him not to have the rights.,


                  He can’t use that against you. All you have to do is let the court and everyone know he was trying to pressure you in an abortion. He is in the wrong, and i’m sorry to say but your mother is too. My mother is my best friend as well, or well she was. But my mother has treated me bad since I became pregnant. I barely talk to her anymore, but she signed for my husband and I to get married. Which makes me very happy. Tell your ex boyfriend that he can’t take your baby from you. He wanted to kill the baby, why should he get it? Who would honestly let him? Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I really hope all your pains go away. Stay strong and don’t stress everything will work itself out.


                    thank you both for your insight on everything. im so scared for everything that is happening… i saw the babys dad tonight because he needed something for graduation from this schooling he did and it was just so awkward… like he said hed be by my side if i got the abortion… and like i am only a junior in highschool, im really torn between what i should do…. :/ you guys are comforting me alot…. so much more than most people are…


                      I totally understand the confusion & fear you are dealing with right now. I got pregnant when I was 16 yrs old. I remember my Mom telling me “This child is NOT a gift from God!”, she scheduled my abortion and attempted to force me there! I refused at the last min. I remember very clearly how scared I was about the doctors, all the check-ups I would have to go to and OMG Child Birth? WHAT? But I decided at the last min that I got myself into this and I was going to be the one making the decisions. If I was going to go through pain (one way or another with an abortion or childbirth) I was going to do the one that produced positive outcome! My mom forced me to move out! that didn’t work because my BF swung a hammer at me one night so I moved home. Then I got smart – I told my mother that she may NOT be responsible for my Baby, but she was DEFINITELY responsible for me until I was 18 and she could not force me out of the house! That woman put me in an apartment and paid my rent until I was 18. I was VERY sick during my pregnancy! It was harsh! But I survived, Here I am at 32 with a beautiful 15 yr old girl whom I love more than life itself! I am not going to lie to you, it was VERY HARD, all the things I was scared of I was forced to face. None of it was as bad as I thought it would be. It made me have confidence in myself, showed me that I CAN DO THE THINGS I FEAR! I struggled for awhile, but I did pull through and I would NEVER change it for the world. I am married to a wonderful man who loves my daughter as though she came directly from him, own a business, etc. My Mom loves my daughter more than anything and her initial anger is now understandable to me. My point is teenage pregnancy is NOT the end of your life! It is the beginning of it! Your decision needs to be based on YOU! You can not let the father’s threats scare you. He is scared out of his mind right now and thinks that if he scares you into thinking he will take your baby that you will have the abortion. This seems very typical for a young man in his position. STOP thinking about that! Start thinking about YOU. What do You want? Make your decision and deal with everything else when you get to it. Overloading yourself with too much is not good for you. RELAX, breath, stop listing to other people and really listen to your heart, thats all you can do.


                        I agree don’t worry about the threats the dad’s making. They will probably come to nothing. & even so the fact that you’ve been on meds for over a year shows you are being responsible & not ignoring your health.

                        small fry

                          The deal is this is your baby! If you think that is what is best for you than it is. But just some advice- I am 29 now I had wo wonderful daugthers back to back, and whn I was pregnant i felt the same way. So just so you know it never gets easier. The weight of the world is on our shoulders to protect and love these children- to give them good lives. So just so you know it is ALWAYS nerve wracking. But the amount of joy you will feel for the rest of that baby’s life is surreal. I remember looking at my baby and saying I AM GOING TO BE A GOOD MOM. And it has been harder than ever. I work full time and so does my boyfriend but we still manage. Little money and time but lots of love. I would give the world again to go back and have my daughters all over again. If you need help I am here you can email me anytime. No pressure though. Good luck whatever your decision is though! Katie


                            thanks to everyone for comforting me on this.. i keep having really weird dreams. and i feel so tired and worn downn… i feel like no one really understands but the people on heeree.


                              of course., please do not hesitate to wall on my page., everytime you need someone to talk to., 😉 take care.,


                                Ok. So the father can’t take the baby away from you. It’s hard for a man to take a child away from it’s mother completely. He’s just playing mind games. And your mom will come around. She will probably want to be in the child’s life. The best thing coming out of all this is the baby. It’s better than an STD.

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