Meg11

Hey there, My name is Meg and I am one of Becky’s friends here on the site…As I was reading your post certain things popped out of the screen at me, one of the things you said was, If I had one today I couldn’t afford a crib…etc…What I have to share is that you are not having a baby today, or tomorrow, in fact you have just about 8 months to prepare and plan, you won’t even need a crib for almost a year from now…You can get Formula from WIC, I got it for FREE, Breastfeeding is FREE as well and you can get a FREE pump from WIC if actually taking the time to sit down and nurse is an issue with work, school etc…You can get FREE medical, I did for all of my kids and with one of them I was even married and qualified for it, when you look at everything all at once it is impossible and unbearable but when you look at things one step and stage at a time it takes a weight off of your shoulders…if you are a nanny then why would a baby cause you to lose your job? I mean if people want the absolute best for their kids so they hire you to be a third parent basically then why would they not understand and want the same for your baby? That would be an IDEAL job in my opinion….in fact I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and I did a lot of baby sitting to make ends meet…You can do this…it is a lot to take in all at once but honey, you have TONS of time…when I had baby showers I always had enough diapers to last me the first 3-5 months and I have never really had to buy a lot of clothes for my kids, I have swapped with my friends who have kids for years now, I go to second hand childrens stores, they have really nice stuff, I make a point to look out for teen moms, single moms or families who need extra help when I am getting rid of stuff…I gave away my NICE stroller with snap in car-seat and base to a family almost a year ago, rather than selling it, I only give clean and usable items to the second hand shops, there are people out there who would love nothing more than to find a need and meet it in the best way possible, you are not destined to get sloppy seconds and stained clothes, there are so many places out there where you can get really nice things and I promise you that someone out there has a nice car seat to give away and they are just waiting for the right person to come along who needs it, the amazing woman that you are who will Stand Up for that little nugget!! Good things come to those do what is right, sure bad things happen too but I know personally because of my own experience that when you put doing the right thing as your priority people come out of the woodwork to help, not out of pity, not to make you feel indebted to them but to genuinely give back, pay it forward and to bless!! I would love for you to email me so we can talk more, and more privately, I would like to help you find some local resources to look into so that you can have some fears relived before you make a final decision…you are right, it is your choice but honey, travel the road with least regrets…I know you can do this and I really hope you will email me so we can chat more and look into some options, here is a great number to call as well….1-800-395-HELP, they will give you the info for the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help including, ultrasounds, baby clothes, maternity clothes, baby furniture, diapers etc…Much Love and I am here for you….Meg, meg@standupgirl.com

Hey you, I have seen both situations, they have gone by the LMP and also by how far along you appear to be, both make abortion a dangerous thing, have you seen what your baby looks like at 20 weeks? Abortion clinics do not like you to see in detail, they have also been known to mess with the clarity on the screen so it looks fuzzy,Please I beg you to go to this site and read what your baby is capable of right now, http://www.pregnancy.org/fetaldevelopment/week-20 ,also with a second trimester abortion they are going to have to do a D&E, dilation and extraction…extraction is a key word, I hate to be graphic due to the fact that many girls on the site have been through this and do not care to relive it so I will be as gentle as possible without sugar coating it….they dilate your cervix then they literally cut your baby into sections, they remove the arms, legs and then take the head from the torso and crush it, they then extract all the pieces of your baby and reconstruct in on a tray to make sure all the pieces are there, there have been babies who have survived at how far along you are, here is baby Amelia’s story, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021034/The-tiniest-survivor-How-miracle-baby-born-weeks-legal-abortion-limit-clung-life-odds.html , The clinics do not want you to know this stuff, they make money off of your dead baby, please call this number 1-800-395-HELP, they do not get paid to give advice, and anything you receive from them whether an ultrasound or whatever is FREE, they do not have a financial motivation when it comes to what they tell you….please, email me if you have any other questions, I am here for you but please, do not put yourself through the painful misery of abortion….You are not alone….Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com

Just know that if you have your Dr. Put you on a mild bc pill that those types of pills are strictly for regulation not to prevent pregnancy, they have a high failure rate, birth control pills or other contraceptives do not prevent pregnancy 100% of the time so it is always better to play it safe and “not play at all”, I know it sounds corny and old fashioned but abstinence was the best thing to ever happen to me after two kids from two dads, I will never regret waiting 2 1/2 years before being with my husband for the first time on our wedding night!!! Love Meg

Well it depends on where you live, what you like to do and how your pregnancy goes, I work from home so I can be with my kids, I have had friends who worked out of the home during their pregnancies and have found it difficult and some of them found it easy…so really it just depends…where do you live?

Hey there, My name is Meg and I am so sorry for what you are facing at the moment….so when you say your boyfriend forced you did he violently rape you, hold you down and such or did he just pressure you to the point where you gave in and “put up with him” doing what he wanted? If he forcibly, violently raped you, you can and should report him to the authorities…I mean if he would do this to someone like you who apparently cares for him what is he capable of doing to someone down the road? How old is he and how long have you been together? If your friends are true and best then they will not abandon you in this time of need, if they do, they are not worthy of your friendship….the best thing you can do for now is to take a pregnancy test, go ahead and wait until after your period is due, if you are late then take a test with your first mornings urine the next morning…if it is negative then wait another week, if you are still late then retest, once again first thing in the am….if you are not late and you start your period then go ahead and wait until your period is over and take a test just to set your mind at ease, just always be sure to test first thing in the am….have you told anyone else about your father hitting you, like a school counselor or another family member outside the home? Has he ever caused injury other than bruising? I just want you to know that I am here for you, my stepdad used to beat me when I was little and I know what it is like to feel the pain and rejection and fear….anyways take a test and please let me know what you find out, here is a number to call to see about getting a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test….1-800-395-HELP, they will give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you….also here is my email if you ever just need a real friend…Love Meg , meg@standupgirl.com

Wow….You just wrote that you feel so unlucky and I am in awe because your appt was canceled in such a last minute miracle…you still have time…anyways I want to share with you about an experience my friend went through…she got pregnant and opted to go with abortion, deep down she didn’t want to do it but she felt trapped…she is overweight and has had many health issues and she thought that having the abortion would help her avoid the extra weight gain and medical issues…she took the abortion pill RU486 and it caused her to gain about 30 lbs, more than she would have with a healthy controlled diet in pregnancy, the extra weight gain along with the infections she got and the emotional side effects caused her months and months of anguish, poor health and depression….if I read right you are about 2 1/2 months along correct? By chance have you looked into the stage of development that your baby is at? I mean you first hand know what adoption can do for a child, do you want to rob your child from life? Knowing that you had other options….anyways I am here for you and I don’t want you to rush out and assume things about medical risks due to your weight, the abortion industry is out to make money so they will tell you anything that sounds “good” to get you to go through with it, here is a number to call, 1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, they can better educate you on your options and the long term affects of them…Love Meg

I remember seeing your name in some recent posts when I first joined up just over 3 years ago…welcome back, congrats on the marriage and baby #2!! So I want to first state that because you are married the advice I have to share is different then that which I would share with someone who is not married, I strongly believe due to personal experience that a sexual relationship in marriage is different then outside of marriage…anyways in marriage your sex life needs to be healthy and fulfilling for both you and your husband…yes there are times that our husbands need to allow a little more space sexually and especially if you have a disorder that causes you to be uncomfortable during sex, and as we know pregnancy just intensifies the good and the BAD….have you talked with your doctor? Maybe talk with your doctor with your husband present…I know that there are certain kinds of lubrication that are water based and ph balanced to be very natural and something like that could help in your situation a little, there is also ways of engaging your husband and fulfilling his sexual needs and wants without actual intercourse, I think if you make a solid effort on your part to show him that his needs matter to him, that you love him and want to make him feel good and give your full attention to him during your efforts to let him know that he will then begin to understand that you are not just making excuses, communication is HUGE….here is my email address, meg@standupgirl.com ,I would love to share more with you and offer you a little bit of knowledge that I learned from a book that has changed my marriage….I was promiscuous before I married my husband and I tended to be more of the sexual aggressor in the relationship and this book helped me realize that I was using him the way all the guys in my past had used me…it was a huge wake up call and I have since learned how to be truly intimate with him while meeting both of our needs physically and emotionally in our marriage bed….sex and marriage go hand in hand and there is a way to meet both of your needs without one or the other feeling used/pain/rejection etc…Much Love and I will talk with you soon when you email me..Meg

Hey there, I just wanted to pop in and say that QueenB has some really good advice and I agree that acting too quickly on your decision can lead to severe regret down the road, I see that you are from India and I know that the culture you live in over there is much different then where I am in the US…is that one of the reasons you are thinking of going for an abortion? Are you in fear for your life if your parents find out you are pregnant or have had sex? Also I know of some people over in India and if you send me a private email to meg@standupgirl.com I can see into connecting you with them and finding some local support…I know of a place in Rameswaram so I don’t know how close you are to them but I know they have help and resources available in other areas as well….they can help you and protect you if needed….abortion is permanent, fear of telling your parents is not….we are all here for you and I really want to touch base with you and see about getting you some help….please let me in on your situation a little better so I know best how to help you…Love Meg

Hey there, I am really glad you came here for some answers….what I am hearing from you is that you are scared of becoming pregnant….the best way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex, I mean you are on birth control but still it is not 100% effective even when taken “perfectly”, Have you thought about taking a step back and waiting to reengage sexual activity until you are in a position to start a family? I mean if your boyfriend really loves you then he will want what is best for you and your relationship, anyways I had two kids from two dads before I decided to stop and wait to have sex again until my wedding night…I will never regret the 2 1/2 years of abstinence that carried me to my wedding night where I was able to have sex with my husband for the first time and not have the fear of pregnancy because I knew he would be there in the morning, he loved me enough to wait for me…just a thought to consider…Love Meg

I know that it is risky and scary but I would NOT take the morning after pill, it has actually caused death in severe cases, it has also caused other reactions as well…From the way you are talking I would say it is safe to assume that you are the kink of person to say “I made the decision to have sex, the condom broke, rather than risk my health by taking a pill I will face my responsibilities if I end up pregnant and make the best of the situation and count it a blessing” I was posed with a question once “Have you had unprotected sex within the last 72 hours” My answer was yes, I was at an appt to get on birth control…she offered me the morning after pill, she opened the package and held it out to me on her hand with a cup of water…I stared at it and everything rushed through my mind so fast…I looked up at her and said, “If I end up pregnant then I need to face my consequences and accept my baby gladly” She told me to wait until I started my period before I started taking my pills, I never started….Jeremiah, my son, changed my life in so many ways, during my pregnancy with him is when my life blossomed and developed into success…sure it was tough having two kids on my own but I will never regret turning that pill down…the woman who offered it to me watched me grow larger and larger through my pregnancy as I went to the health department for my job and for WIC appts, she then watched my son grow up until he graduated from WIC….she could never quite look me in the eye, I think it is because she knew deep down that if I had listened to her that my gorgeous, amazing and precious son would not be here….I hope you will make the right choice as well…I decided when I found out I was pregnant with my son, having then two kids from two dads that I was not going to have sex again until my wedding night….I made it two and a half years until my wedding night with no sex and I am so proud of myself…my kids both played a huge part in my meeting my husband as well…no child is ever a mistake and if you end up being pregnant I hope you will remember that…Much Love…Meg

May I ask you a question? So you came seeking advice and in my opinion you have heard from some very neutral sources, I know many of the people who have responded and quite a bit of their background because of how long they have been on the site and what they have shared about themselves, their beliefs and life’s experiences, to not recognize the level of neutrality is to be blind…You have heard from I believe 4-5 girls who have had abortions, there is nothing more neutral than that….My question is this, how come, after the response and feedback you have received, you are still choosing to end the life of your child and put yourself at risk for the physical and emotional side effects of abortion? I mean why ask for opinions and advice just to hear what you want to hear? After everything that has been shared why would you walk into that clinic KNOWING what you are about to face, after all of the feedback, why? I mean it is a valid question, is there something about your pregnancy or your current situation or health that you have not shared that is playing a major role in this choice to abort? I am just a little confused….Love Meg

Awww, sweetie, just remember it is ok for you to cry…don’t hold it in…we are all here for you and I am so sorry that you have to walk this difficult path set before you now….Love Meg