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My daughters father wanted me to abort her and I almost did. Praise God I didnt. She is such an awesome girl (almost 5 now) He was very verbally and emotionally abusive to me. I had a restraining order on him through my pregnancy and we got back together when she was 3 wekks old. He was very controlling and he got worse and worse. he was drinking all the time he wouldnt let me work but he didnt pay the bills I think he was using meth towards the end and I was afraid that he was going to start physically abussing me. When I finally asked him to leave (it was my house) he threatened that he was going to get custody and that his grandma had alot of money and they would win. He has only seen her a handful of times since then. He was all talk and he didnt want to be a dad he was just a controll freak. Dont let this guy tell you what to do with your baby. You keep this baby…he/she will change your life in so many positive ways and dont be afraid of him "winning custody" he probably wont try. If he does, start keeping a journal of what he says in regards to abortion and threats he makes toward you or the baby and any and all "dirt" you can. drugs alcohol lots of girlfriends etc. etc., so that you have the ball in your court!!! Dont make anything up but dont leave anything out. They will only take a baby from the mom when she is declared an unfit mother. Take care and let us all know how it works out……Meg
Hey Im so sorry that you are going through such big things at your age. I lost my mom when I was 19 (now 25) and I wish I could talk to her sometimes. I actually pretend sometimes even though I know she cant hear me….I just forget what it feels like to call someone mom. So I know I visited your page and commented on your "tripple blessing" I didnt realize you had been raped. Thank you for choosing to keep your babies. You are in the right place and I know that there are many ladies on here that would love to mother you 🙂 I am not that much older and I know that I could not replace your mom but I would love to encourage you as a mother (I have 2 and 1 step) I know that Jesus loves you and He knows your hurt so please let Him into your heart and allow Him to guide your every move. He has helped me so much. When I read my bible I find so many things to live out in parenthood. And alot of the ways I parent my children are inspired by Gods word rather than how I was raised. Not having birth parents around to give advice can be hard but we do have an instruction manuel….the bible. I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and I just got married in November. Children can be difficult and life will always be tough whether you have kids or not so keep your head up and KNOW that God will provide for you and He will see you through this and He will bring women into your life and a husband one day to help you be the mom He has created you to be. It takes someone with alot of love to raise tripplets. So embrace motherhood and use this experience to encourage others to not give up…….Love and Prayers ….Meg
Post Partum Depression. And yes I had it really bad after both of my kids. You can have it even when they are like a year and a half. Dont feel so alone. After your baby is born sometimes you can still feel them kick inside your tummy (I did) phantom kicks. I was a single mom after both children so it made post partum really hard for me because I had pitty parties too (LOL) But I cant imagine what you are going through to have a husband and not be able to have him with you. I would encourage you to cry when you need to (its ok to cry it gives you a release) and if it helps rub your belly like your still pregnant and reminice of when your little girl was in there. If you need to go to your doctor and tell him/her whats going on and they can sometimes help. I would really avoid medication!!!! Post partum is normal and natural. But not all medications help. Some make it worse. Every day that you are preg your hormones increase slowly. After birth they decrease 50% every day. That is why you feel so nutty. Please PRAY for your husband dont worry or you will make yourself worse and your baby will pick up on it. Everytime you are worried about him just pray and ask the Lord to encumpass him with His angels and to bring him home safely. I will be praying for your family and I hope I helped a little 🙂 God Bless…….Meg
Well I hope that whatever sorrow you are experiencing would soon be replaced with joy. Just remember your own words "Use the waters of the future, to drown away your sorrow" Jesus is the Living Water. He can heal us and cleanse us and take away the sting from our wounds. The scars will remain but they can also be used for good. "To console those who mourn in Zion,to give them beauty for ashes,the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heavieness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." (Isaiah 61:3) May you find peace for your weary heart in the arms of my Savior……Love and Prayers…….Meg
Well are you sexually active? Are you on birth control? Have you missed a period? I dont quite know what you are asking because you are very vague and those kind of symptoms could be alot of things. So go ahead and answer the questions take a preg test and let us know if you need more advice. Hope all is well
well after the first missed day of your period most HPT’s will give an accurate result. Go to a doctor if there are more questions after that I guess. How long have you been engaged????
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have been through a season in my life where it seemed like everyone around me was dying. My friend who was engaged to my mom then my sister had an abortion (we were preg at the same time so everytime I look at my daughter I imagine her cousin we never met) then my mom died. All of this was in a months time. I sometimes work for the funeral home my mom was in. I help out with viewings. I have been through so much hurt and pain in my life so when I am at a funeral or a viewing and someone is hurting I can see it and almost feel their pain and I have had many opportunities to just give hugs or words of encouragement. I would not be able to do that if I had not been through it myself. Maybe you will find a way to reach out to those in your situation. It brings so much healing and restoration. I agree with your boyfriend that right now may not be the best timing. Having a baby will not "make up" for the two you have lost. Nor will it take away the hurt of your Bf’s parents loss. The only thing that has helped me deal with my pain hurt and loss (not stuffing it away or hiding it) has been Jesus. You can call me a broken record because I say that alot or you can call me a "little church girl" or anything else you want…it doesnt bother me. All I know is that I have experienced healing from the Lord and I have experienced His deliverance. I have not always been a "little church girl" and I used to be Gods enemy but He loved me first and thats why I love Him. He cared for my wounds that I sometimes inflicted on myself by making poor choices. And yes sometimes He lets me taste the bitterness of the messes I make. But this I know for sure and swear on it with my whole heart. God loves you and me and everyone else He has created. He wants the best for us all. And if you seek Him with your whole heart He will be found by you. If you call out to Him in this time of greif and confusion He will pull you out of the sinking mud and set your feet upon a rock. I hope and pray that you will let Him touch your life and that when He does you will know it and embrace it. I hope and pray that you will bask in His blessings and that one day you will have a family of your own. Life is hard whether you believe in God or not but it sure is nicer to have Him to carry you through times like this. I am praying for you…Take care…Meg
Well Brittany those 4 little pills wont make everything better as you have already experienced. Having a baby is not the end of the world. I would encourage you that if you are pregnant that you would make the choice and accept the responsibility of keeping this baby. I think when someone gets an abortion or takes pills to do the same thing that it is no better but actually worse than a guy who walks away and has nothing to do with the child. I understand the anxiety of being pregnant and not knowing what to do. I just think that you will have more problems emotionally and physically if you kill your baby than you would if you keep it. I hope and pray the best for you and I hope you make the right choice….Meg
Well I know that the bible tells us to circumsise our sons on the 8th day and "coincidentally" 8 days after birth your blood naturally thickens. Well nowadays they give babys a Vitamin K shot to thicken their blood so many people have their sons cirumsised right after birth or while they are still in the hospital. I dont think the timing is the big issue but I know that biblically circumsision represents a cutting away of the "flesh" and in the life of a Christian flesh represents things of this world and or things that cause us to sin or pull us away from God. Now for those out there who do not believe in the bible there are still good reasons for circumsision. My nephew was not circumsised and as a baby he ended up with infections once in a while because the extra skin was a trap for bacteria and I think that is unhealthy for a child. I have also heard that men who are not circumsised are more prone to STD’s and stuff like that for the same reason. I had my son circumsised for biblical and health isuues and it healed up really quick. TIP if you have your son circumsised put him in a really big diaper for a few days. I did that because when you put vaseline on there to keep him from sticking to the diaper (ouch for him) their pee does not absorb. So with a bigger diaper there is moe room to absorb 🙂 I hope this helped….God Bless…Meg
Well most Home Pregnancy Tests will show positive after only one day late so you should take one and make a doctors apt for a blood test. I dont know how old you are or what your situation is but you can come to me with questions if you want to. I hope all goes well…….Meg
Well Birthdays are wonderful 🙂 My stepson Tyan is turning 3 today (3-9-07) then my daughter Pennielane is going to turn 5 on May 8th and then my son Jeremiah will be 3 on Nov.25th ….He was born on Thanksgiving day 🙂 My birthday is Dec. 18th and my husband is Sept. 10th
The last thing that you wrote is the most important thing you said. When you cry out to God miracles happen. I understand your fears and the confusion and I am so glad that you are having second thoughts. I know that you can be a mom and finish college my friend in Nebraska has 2 on her own and she is almost finished. It has not been an easy road for her but she loves her kids and she is an awesome mom. Having a baby right now sounds scarry and it will be difficult but you will have so much joy in your life with this baby and you will never have to wonder what this child would have looked like or who they would grow up to be, you will be his/her mom and witness it all 🙂 I hope you make the right choice…God Bless….Call upon the Name of the Lord and be saved…..Meg
I think it is awesome that you have stepped in to help out. One thing that has helped me through seasons of difficult children (Ihave 2) is to sing to them. Every night at bedtime I sing "Jesus loves me" to my daughter and I sing"Jesus loves the little children" to my son. They are so used to being tucked in with those songs that if they are having a hard day or get hurt and I sing their song to them it calms them down. I dont know the age limit but you could also ask his pediatrician how old he has to be to have small amounts of ‘Airborne’ I know that when my family is all getting "the crud" that it helps alot…also ‘Emergen-C’. I hope that my advice helps a little and I pray that the Lord would Bless you big time for having such a big heart….Love and Prayers…Meg
Well I am so glad that you chose life. Being a mother has been difficult but so rewarding. I hope that you have great parents that are willing to help out and give advice and I hope you will be willing to take it 🙂 For what ever reason you would not want anyone to know who the father is I hope that those issues will settle and that he does the right thing for you and the baby. I hope you have a wonderful healthy pregnancy and if you need to talk just visit my profile page and leave me a note….God Bless…Meg
I agree that you should see a doctor. Sometimes when you miscarry a test can still show positive untill your hormone level is back to normal. And please stop having sex before you get sucked into that lifestyle!!!! I was in that horrible loop for 10 years. I started at age 13 and finally at 23 and pregnant with my 2nd child (both have diff dads) I made the choice to wait untill I was married. That day came 3 1/2 yrs later and it was a long lonely wait but it was worth it. I know you are probably thinking "well Im only having sex with one guy and we are in love and I lost my viginity to him so im not doing anything wrong." But what you dont see is that if you dont stay with him and get married then you will hit the rebound and jump into bed with someone else and your excuse will be "well its not like Im a virgin anyways what have I got to lose." Listen if this guy you are with loves you and you love him them get married. But if neither one of you wants to get married or your not ready yet then you should not be having sex. Whether you are prenant with his child or not he does not own your body. And if he wont marry you in order to have sex with you then what exactly does he want from you??? Sex with no committment. And that my friend just isnt love. I hope that you get to a doc soon and find out what is going on but I also hope that this experience will mature you and cause you to make better choices….with much love and prayers…Meg
Well I know after being preg for a while a hpt can be neg so I would go to the doctor and get checked out. Also start taking prenatals because if you are not preg, trying, or are preg they are good for you either way but this way you will know that when you do conceive you will have a healthy baby even before you find out. So you mentioned family issues..I hope all is well..If you need to talk visit my profile page. I have been through alot so nothing shocks me and I can usually relate 🙂 I hope you are preg so you and your husband can start your family 🙂
Well first off you can get preg if your having unprotected sex. Second your last sentence conflicts with what your problem is. If your baby "saved"you from where you were heading then why are you in the midst of a pregnancy scare with a 2 month old daughter and a different guy involved. Sorry to be blunt but I love you enough to speak the truth. Third You are afraid that you will be alone for the rest of your life…that is not true. You will have your daughter…this baby if your pregnant and also whether you know it and receive it or not you have the Lord. If you dont know that He is there then ask Him to show Himself to you (that is an offer He will not refuse ) I have 2 kids from 2 dads and I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years. When I found out I was pregnant with my second I made the choice to get my act together, start being a good mom, and to not have sex again untill I was married. Well I am sooooo far from being perfect but I quit smoking over 4 yrs ago and I havent done drugs or drank alcohol in over 3 1/2 years. I consider that getting my act together. I love my kids and I make sure I feed them healthy meals, keep them clean, teach them responsibilities,tuck them in bed and pray for them, and I dicipline them when they are bad instead of spoiling them and letting them get away with stuff. I call that doing the best I can to be a good mom. ( I make lots of mistakes but its better than not trying) Also I have been married now since 11-11-06 and I did not have sex with my husband untill our wedding night. The 3 choices I made when I found out I was preg with my son have been 3 out of the 4 best choices I have made in my whole life. But the best choice even over the other 3 was to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and to desire His will for my life. Those 3 other things couldnt have been possible for me without His strength. I want so badly for you to do well and to be a good mom and to have a wonderful life so I hope that I was able to help you…With so much love and prayers…Meg
Well just as we were all created differently each pregnancy can be diff also. Some women are like clockwork and have the same symptoms but I was diff with both of mine. I had alot of pain and fevers and medical things happen as a result of my 1st. Although she was a tubal (slipped out replanted…MIRACLE) so I guess I dont know how it would have been normally. With my second I had cravings and I felt dizzy alot but I never thought that I was preg. I found out I was preg the night before April fools day. I was going to use pregnancy as my April fool’s and decided to make sure I wasnt first. OOPS I was and no one believed me … go figure. So anyways back to you. Praise God if you are not getting sick that is misserable. Take a test and make sure and get checked out ASAP if you are spotting. Hope all is well and that you get answers soon….God Bless…Meg
What state do you live in??? I was 20 when my first was born and I had state medical so I dont know how they work with age groups. Have you tried a local pregnancy recourse center??? I know the one here will let you earn "baby bucks" for clothing and diapers and stuff and the health dept helps with immunizations and stuff. Are you involved with WIC??? I know that there has to be somewhere to help you , you just have to look really hard. May the Lord Bless you and keep you and bring you provision…take care…Meg
Well I have had 2 children and my uterus is heart shaped so I carry sideways. When my babies would turn sideways I had to go in and have them flipped. NOT FUN!!!! They gave me medicine to "put my uterus to sleep" so it wouldnt send me into labor and then covered my tummy in mineral oil and pushed and squeezed untill baby was head down 🙁 NOT FUN!!!! LOL so I have never been able to go into labor on my own (good thing…babys dont come out sideways 🙁 ouch) When they broke my water (both times) it felt like a river of warm thick water gushing out of my body (eeeewww) and like I was peeing my pants. Every time I would have strong contractions more water would come out. My last labor I sat in the tub for a while and it was better because I was in water so it didnt matter that water was coming out hehehehe. When you first start having contractions it feels like your skin over your belly is giving your tummy a hug 🙂 they get more and more painful as you go along like the worst period you have ever had….but worse. by the time you are in full blown labor it hurts so bad it feels like the lower part of your body has just been severed off!!! (that is the point when you realize "what was I thinking, having sex before marriage????") I agree with hotmama that once the baby is out and in your arms its like you never went through the pain at all. Now I have been told that some women dont lose alot of water when the babys head is way down …the baby acts like a plug so when you are at that point and you think your water broke but it is only a little that is probably why. Also from what I have been told ALOT of womens water doesnt break on its own. They do that in the hospital when you are in labor. Well I hope I prepared you for the kind of grose side of becoming a mommy.(once you are a mom not to much groses you out or embarasses you) I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and birth 🙂 God Bless…Meg
well I agree that you need to tell your parents ASAP. they have raised you up to this point and provided for you. what you have done will hurt them and you need to be prepared for them to let you know how dissapointed they are in your choices. My encouragement would be to fess up and admit your faults before them. And Im sorry if this comes off wrong but you are 14 you should not be having sex!!!! I lost my virginity at 13 and I didnt quit sleeping around untill I was 23 and had 1 baby and another on the way. at that point I decided to wait untill I was married. So I did and 3 1/2 years went by before that happened but I didnt have sex untill my wedding night. Please let this baby change your life and help steer you in a new direction. I wish so badly that someone would have loved me enough to tell me strait up that I was a little girl and had no buisness having sex. i am sure that your parents have told you at some point to not have sex untill you are married. This is why. So please dont reject what they have to share with you now…you need them so much. If they tell you to have an abortion then tell them no. but in a humble way expressing the fact that you want to make the choice of being responsible for your actions not in a defiant way. Please learn from this and dont go to the path I walked for 10 years…the only thing down that road is hurt rejection humiliation and emptyness. if you need to talk visit my profile page and wite me a note….I’ll be praying for you Love Meg
I just read your story and I hope and pray that you have been able to heal some since then. What a big thing to go through at your age. I am so sorry and I hope you get the chance to have another baby when you get married someday. I know you will be a great mom then and that you will never take your kids for granted like some do . God bless you and sign my guest book if you want to talk sometime Meg
The first comandment in the bible with a promise following it is that if you obey your parents all will be well with you. Now if your parents hurt you physically or there are drug deals going on in the house or you are being trully abused in some way then you need to seek outside help and find somewhere else to go other than home. But if your parents are just trying to love you and do what is best for you please go home and hear them out. My dad sent me to live with my mom when I was 13 because I was in rebellion. How I wish that I would have just let him love me and parent me. I do not regret all of the things that have happened since then ONLY becuase I have given my life to the Lord and He has turned them for good and given me the ability to relate to others going through simmilar issues. If any of my past hurts or mistakes can help someone make different choices than I did then Praise God. But please honey dont do what I did. I am almost 10 years older than you. When I was 16 I had already slept with several guys had a couple pregnancy scares done all kinds of drugs and I was bouncing from house to house. at some points in my teenage years I was eating raw food out of gardens at night, panhandling for money, and I lived in a tent in a garage and was being sexually taken advantage of by the guys who lived there. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be then it will work out someday but please go home to your parents while you still can….Love and prayers Meg
Take all of that love that you have to give and shower it on your baby. The love that you desire to have can only come from one place. Jesus. I dont know if you know the Lord but wow do you have the heart of someone who does. This guy is no good for you and yet you love him unconditionally and you have forgiveness to give him as well even though he has left you in this spot and from the sounds of it an std also (am I wrong?) I am sorry about you having to be in foster care and from the sounds of it you dont need to be in a house with a drug dealer either. The choice to have sex did put you in this place but it is not all your fault. Your parents should have protected you and raised you to make healthier choices. My prayers are that you will raise your child to live differently than this. May the Lord pour out His love on your broken heart and give you all wisdom and knowledge on how to be the best mommy possible. I will be praying for you sweetie… Meg
