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destinysplea
I just discovered less than a week ago that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I’m 20 years old, a freshman in college, and have a wonderful, loving boyfriend.
I was the one that brought up abortion, and at first, the boyfriend clearly said no. I respected that. I said we’d have the baby.
I’ve been crying constantly. I’m pulled between wanting to bring this little life into the world, and wanting to finish college and live my life as I normally would.
I made the appointment today, but now that it’s made, I’m having BIG second thoughts.
Now the roles have reversed it seems. I’m now very VERY reluctant to have the abortion, but my boyfriend is encouraging it, saying it’s for the best. I know that we could do this. It would be rough, but we could manage, but it scares me to death.
It’s my fault for suggesting it in the first place, because now, that’s what he wants, and he doesn’t seem to want to hear me cry and question what we’re doing. I’m informing him I’m having doubts. I’m informing him that I’m going insane. He assures me we’ll be fine. But now, I really don’t think I could live with myself if I did this.
It’s just rough, I know he loves me, but he runs away when I begin to become upset and question the rightness of the apointment. He doesn’t want to deal with a woman that’s an emotional wreck. He tells me not to worry, that we can have other children when we’re more prepared.
I don’t know what to do. But I do know I’m starting to go a little nuts. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
God help me.
Mommyof2babies
I’m 21 and preg with my 2nd child..this one is a boy (36 wks)…my daughter is 18 mos…do me a favor and look at the images on my profile and let me know if you still want the abortion also theres a video you can watch on abortion on this site..why would anybody want to do that to their child it made so sick to watch the video and now i know how it would change minds of women/girls considering it…….its so horrible..i look at how much my daughter has grown and how smart she is and I’m happy that i didnt take her life…..My fiancee and i are barely scrapping by but we wouldnt change our decision for anything…I was 19 when i had my daughter and my fiancee was 21 and now almost 2 yrs later are so much in love our daughter and cant wait for the arrival of our son which the drs said could be any day now…PLZ dont take your childs life no matter what your bf says…my fiancee thought abortion would take care of everything….at the first ultrasound and the first time he heard her little heart beating full of life at just 10 wks he cried and told me he was sorry for his reaction and couldnt wait to welcome our angel and couldnt wait till she arrived and then coudlnt wait for the next one..i know when your bf sees that first image of the life growing inside you he will change his mind…..PLZ dont have the abortion..you will regret it and sometimes you can be permantly scarred and made infertile…think about what i have said and make the right decision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FrancesBeanMommy
honey, if it is something you are questioning, then don’t do it. go with your gut. I am also 20 and in college, now 5 mos. pregnant w/ a little boy. I myself had considered abortion, even though I never really wanted to do it. But I’m glad I didn’t. I know it’s going to be tough, but my baby boy will be worth it. I know you can do it too. You seem like you have your head on straight, even though I know you’re probably questioning if you’re going crazy or not right now. Don’t worry, that’s normal. I still think I’m going crazy sometimes haha, pregnancy just does that to you I guess. But I strongly urge you to look into your options. Even if you can’t raise your baby, there is adoption. Even for women that are sure they want to go the route of abortion, there are regrets, so to go through with it and not even know if it’s what you really want, well that would just be heartbreaking. I know you have to make your own decision, but let me know if you would like to talk. Good luck to you and God bless. <3 Jaz (aka FrancesBeanMommy)
persianprincess
Hun, you are 20 and much older than many girls who carry on having their babies and they do end up finishing college. Don’t think of your child as a setback in your life, think of her/him as a new motivation. It is so very normal to have second doubts; I used to be pro choice, until I had one and I understood what it really does. You really get rid of a part of yourself, and that is not easy to live with. I had my abortion last year, I was about to turn 18, about to graduate highschool and get scholarships for university. I had a steady job as a cashier and my boyfriend had a steady job of his own. I just thought that we could never ever make it on our income and plus I want to follow my dream and go to university, ofcourse I thought about it. How it would change our lives, but my mom convinced me finally that it was the best choice. I knew that if I chose to have my baby, I would not have the support of my family. After the abortion, I couldn’t bear to see babies, I couldnt forgive my parents, I couldnt forgive myself and I was lucky enough to have my bf stick through it with me, eventhough he didn’t believe in abortion. I’m once again pregnant, first year in university, but I know better this time, I couldnt end a life, and be so selfish just to make mine easier. It’s doable to go to college and have a baby, and provide for your baby, you might fall a year behind, but I know it’s going to be worth it. Just think about it like this, if this was the only baby you could ever have, how much would you beat yourself for giving her/him up. Would your life be more complete? If your answer is yes, then go ahead with an abortion, you can handle the aftermath, but if you have a 1% doubt, it’s not worth it. Your heart makes the wisest choices when it comes to this, go for an ultrasound, and I’m sure like many others, the heartbeat of your child will make you cry. Take your bf with you, and make him understand the life inside of you. Good luck, Best of Wishes, and PLZ trust your heart. 🙂
ashmo
hey girl, trust me i know exactly what ur going thru. my situation is even a little harder. IM 18, STILL FINISHING UP HS AT 29 WEEKS PREGNANT, AND MY FIANCEE IS IN THE ARMY AND HAS BEEN AWAY FOR MY WHOLE PREGNANCY. weve been together 3 years, ive seen him once since ive been preg, and it was for 6 days. i was 10 weeks. im now 29 and havent seen him in 4 1/2 months. i was so scared when i got preggo too and abortion ran thru my mind for a second, but like the other girls have told u, GO WITH YOUR GUT. YOU know yourself better than ANYONE else does. you know better than anyone of your own capabilities. if u feel like youd never forgive urself and u cant do it, then dont! there are plenty of girls who go thru it fine, but none of them i know that have had abortions had those doubts. if u go thru with it already knowing its something u cant do, there will be huge emotional and psychological consequences. you know your limitations, dont let anyone else influence you! ive been with my fiancee for three years, but i had to ask myself, could i do this alone? am i doing this to keep him, or am i trying to do this for my daughter?? and the answer was im doing it for her. because no matter who the father of your child is, that baby is half YOU. many girls i know that have gotten an abortion get pregnant again on purpose to replace the empty feeling that remains. my mom aborted my older sibling (it was with my dad, but they had only met months before) and she still remembers the date, and thinks about it every year. she got it when she was 19. now shes 40 and she still wonders, was it a boy or a girl? what would it have looked like? and she beats herself up over it because she ended up marrying my dad anyways. if u have doubts, dont do it. u will regret an abortion, raising a baby is hard but you will never regret bringing that child into this world, even if the timing isn’t perfect. my parents told me they would kick me out, disown me, and they told me i had to get an abortion. that i didnt have a choice. but i did have a choice. and i CHOSE. once u feel the flutters of a new life inside of u, you will NEVER regret that decision. good luck with whatever you do girl, and keep us posted.
Shana
If you have an abortion you will always wonder about that baby and will regret it for the rest of your life. Talk to some of these girls on here who have had miscarriages or abortions and how much their hearts bleed for their children Talk to some of us other girls who have done it on our own without a man by our side and the sun still shines because we are loved by our children. It is not an easy road however it is definitly worth while. go to http://www.truthnet.org/abortion/ and check out the video the hard truth, one of the girls posted the website not long ago…then you’ll know what you are doing. Your life will come back and you will graduate college. I did…it got put on hold but i finished and i have a really good job now working for a huge corperation. Its a shame that a child should die so that we may live as we choose. No matter what your decision you will still wake up tomorrow and the day after but will your baby? And will you wake up everyday with a broken heart or someone sucking on your nose and looking at you with LOVE.
Mother is God in the eyes of a child
Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/15 16:21
Anonymous
At the age of 21, older than all my other friends who got pregnant before they were married, I found myself pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. My sister took me to a Pregnancy Resource Center and had my pregnancy confirmed. I was considering abortion till I saw pictures of what a fetus looks like at the stage of pregnancy I was at. I knew I couldn’t live with the burden of going through an abortion and living with the memories of my pregnancy. I carried to term and had a beautiful baby girl. I became pregnant again when she was one. I was so upset with myself. How could I let it happen again!? I wouldn’t consider abortion, but I did consider adoption. After looking at my options, I again chose to parent and am a proud, single mother of two children. I am also getting ready to graduate from college! I do have some support from my ex, but I am pretty much on my own because he doesn’t live close by. You CAN do it! Even if your boyfriend decides to leave. Many couples who abort together do not stay together. I know one couple who are still together, but they still have problems because of it. If you don’t think you can handle being a mother with your boyfriend or a single mother if he decides to leave, consider adoption. You will be giving life to a child and a child to a family who will be able to care for them. If you think you can carry and parent, there are MANY resources available to you. Look in your yellow pages for abortion alternatives. You should be able to find a pregnancy center near you. I am praying for you.
kez_mummy_2_skye
Honestly if you’re feeling that this abortion is the wrong thing to do, DONT let him tell you what to do. You are still remaining positive which is great! You guys could get heaps of support out there.Good luck with it al
Please listen to your heart for your baby. I was never able to have children of my own, although I do have grown step-children. My husband and I are looking into the training we need to foster parent babies until the mom can make up her mind or the baby can be placed in an good adoptive home. The process does not take that long. There are many others like us already doing this. There is no reason you should feel like abortion is the only option. There are people that can support both you and your boyfriend through the whole process. You just need to talk to the right resource centers – the ones that support life.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t have an abortion. My husband and I have tried for 6 years to have a baby. My heart aches to give a child a good home and we have so much to offer a baby. This baby you are carrying is a gift from God. If you are not where you can take care of a baby right now please consider adoption. There is a couple out there that is able to take care of a baby and haved prayed for one every night. Please pray about this decision and remember that there are couples out there that could give this child a good life. It won’t mean that you are a bad person for not keeping the baby. It will just mean that you are responsable enough and care enough about the baby to want better for it. Please consider adoption.Please write me back and let me know.
Please don’t have an abortion. I think in a few years you would regret it. Just think if your mom had had an abortion when she was preg with you, u wouldn’t be here today.
Hi! I was just asking my roommates about intuition, instinct, or trusting your gut and telling them how one of my professors often says "do what feels right" when talking about ethics in business. I think that trusting your gut on important matters of right and wrong is the best way to go. Whether that force pulling you in a certain direction is intuition, instinct, your gut, or God, I tend to trust it. When I look back on situations in which I had STRONG reservations, which I usually tried to stifle, I typically ended up regretting whatever it was I had those reservations about. Just like the others said, my experience has taught me that IF SOMETHING FEELS WRONG, IT IS. Although you can obtain pleasure from doing the wrong thing, such as feeling happy after stealing money or cutting class, there is generally another part of your psyche, your conscience, which produces undeniable feelings of "wrongness" within you. Doing the right thing might not always feel GOOD, especially in the short term, but it usually feels RIGHT. Trust your gut!! I counsel at a center in New York City called Expectant Mother Care. Please feel free to e-mail me because I would love to talk to you! Have faith in yourself that you are able to make the right decision and find the resources for you and your precious baby! Please contact me, and I will try to help you to the best of my ability!
I feel a little out of place, posting here. I’m ‘Dad’ to seven children, five boys and two girls, and have thirteen grandchildren. Each one of our children is so unique, it’s hard to imagine how different it would be for us if he or she had not been born. Here is a link to a very thoughtful story by a lady who narrowly escaped being aborted herself, well worth reading http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110008802.
You’ve received a lot of good counsel in the replies so far. People don’t seem to regret not having had an abortion, it’s always the other way around.
I am in the same boat but right now i am seriously thinking about keeping this baby….ive miscarried 2 times and was glad that i did cuz i wasnt ready and even tho im not ready still…..i cant bring myself to killing my baby….im 5 weeks and i saw my lil "creature" lol on screen today..i was so emotional…..we all know its going to be rough but come on…life is always hard….dont risk your health….good luck deciding..:cheer:
kittykat_112
Hello, I just wanted to tell you that you should go with your gut. If your having second thoughts now, than most likely you will not be able to deal with going through with an abortion. I myself can never imagine killing my own child, but millions of people do. You should probably wait. Also I know of people who have had an abortion and then stuff gets screwed up and they can never have children. Also I dont know how people can go around knowing that they could have been mothers. And even if your not ready to be a mother, there is always adoption. Plus if your 20 then you are well old enough to be a mother. My aunt became a mother when she was either 12 or 13. And she does not regret it. You really need to think about your decision. I hope this helps. You can write me if you ever need to talk. Just make the best decision. And be sure to make the decision for you and your baby. Not just for you boyfriend.
KatieLauren5535
DONT HAVE THE ABORTION. Regret is worse than anything else you might have to face. Wondering every day for the rest of your life what your baby might have been like will kill you. I’m saying this because I had an abortion a year ago and that decision still haunts me. You have a lot going for you. Don’t have the abortion PLEASE!!!!!! Holding your baby in your arms will be the best feeling ever. With or without the support of your parents and/or boyfriend, you CAN do this. Trust me, I’m 20 as well. I am pregnant…again.. about 9 weeks along, and i’m keeping my baby. I am in my second year of university, and i plan on finishing my second year. Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean your dreams come to an end. It just means that you have another person to share them with. I know that it is going to be tough…most things in life are. However, I know you can do this…because I know I can do it. My parents may hate me…but who cares…you can’t let the views of society scare you into having an abortion, Please listen to this advice. Although having an abortion may make your achieveing your goals a little more CONVENIENT. It will also tear you apart…That is no lie and remember that once you have made that decision there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to take it back. I wish you the best of luck with everything. Just remember that you can still live the life you have always dreamed of. Your just going to have to work a bit harder. And please don’t take the boyfriends advice to have an abortion because he has absolutely no idea what your going through, and chances are that once you have the abortion…you will end up hating and resenting him anyway. PLEASE RECONSIDER.
Whatever you do, God will not test you beyond your strength and He will never give you something you can’t handle. Two wrongs do not make a right and killing your baby will not make your life easier. I just saw my little niece this past weekend and my big sister who is nearly nine months pregnant with her second baby and she is glowing. Motherhood is natural to women, it is engrained within us and your baby needs to feel your love just as much now as it is growing inside of you, as it does when it is actually born. Cancel your appointment. It will be something you never regret when you hold your baby for the first time, watch him/her take their first steps, etc. You’re in my prayers!
God bless you,Love,
Elana
kristen2006_il
My name is Kristen and I am writing this to help all the teenagers out there to get through a very tough point in their lives. I am now 24 happily married with a 3 year old and another one on the way…but when I was 16 my life took an unexpected turn…HERE IS MY STORY.
I must say at 16 I was looking for that one thing to make me feel good about myself. I found it in sex. I didn’t care as long as a man wanted me, My father had left when I was 12 and NOW Isee that I reached out to men to fill that hole in my life. Around thanksgiving I found out I was pregnant. I hid it from everyone. The only person I told was the father. I wanted to keep the baby and I told him that. He made his decision, he left me. So I was all alone in a little girls body dealing with a very adult situation. And I was scared.
One night, before Christmas, I sat down with my mom and let her know the truth. She was upset and the next day scheduled the event that would change my life and my views on abortion forever.
After the first of the year I went to the clinic. I was so scared and so unsure why this was happening to me? I never in a million years had tought that I would be the girl who was having this unthinkable thing done to me and my child.
At first the room was quiet then, all the other women waiting there seemed to start telling their stories of why they were there. One a single mom with three kids already, One a 14 year old little girl who had been victimized by her step father. One a middle aged woman who had 3 grown children and could not see raising any more. The last was me a teenager who had used bad judgement.
We bonded that day in that little waiting room. Then MY name was called I was next.
I walked in the operating room and I could feel was fear. I lay down on the table and said a little prayer for the child growing inside of me. I asked God th watch over my precious little one. And then all I could feel was pain. I remember squeezing the nurses hand and crying. They had told me it would take less than 5 minutes but it felt like a lifetime. And then it was over.
So what have I learned? That I would NEVER do it again. That every childs life is a precious gift that should not be entered to lightly. And that I will always remember that little life growing inside me.Abortion is not always the answer.
Remember all children and pray for them daily even those forgotten about by their parents
Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/15 15:54
I’m adopted. I know my birth mom and my sister just found hers. I have always felt wanted and loved. If you want your life and you want your baby to have a life, adopt your baby out. You can even interview who gets your child. Soooo many couples want babies and can’t have them. They are older and have money and time to devote to children. Just think about it!!!!
filledwithjoy1
Hunny believe me you don’t want to do it….if your having BIG 2nd thoughts now… think of how it’s going to be when you do…im only 16 and might be pregnant but i wouldn’t have an abortion…it’s still a baby it’s alive and it’s inside of you…your it’s mother….im not telling you what to do just think about what your doing…or might be doing…if your b/f really loves you he’ll let you get your feelings out and you guys can talk about it…just wait until you can feel the joy of being able to fell him/her kick….be born…..look up and smile at you…being called mommy…. lots of people would love to have a baby and can’t….im hoping that i might be a prego because i want em’ but,….i’ve been trying for a year now and still nothing….your lucky to find out your going to be a mommy take an advantage of that be a great mother!…i can tell you will look how much you accomplished…just think about what i said.. good luck …do what ‘s in your best intrest
take care xxErica 🙂
mattsmom
My heart breaks for you now as I type this. I pray God will surround you now with strenght and love and help you to make the right decision. I have never had an abortion but I had to opportunity to over 23 years ago. My son Matt, who is now 23 years old, still lives at home with his Dad and me. He is mentally handicapped but the joy of my life. When I first found out he was going to be handicapped my doctor asked me if I would like to have an abortion and i was shocked because it had never entered my mind. At the time I was just 22 and had a 2 year old. My husband and I were barely able to make ends meet and then to face the uncertainty of what type handicap he would have. I could have looked at all that and said well I’m justified in chosing to end this pregnacny but my beliefs would have never let me do that.
I believe all life is sacred and a gift from God, therefore to be cherished and not taken for granted. When Matt was born the doctors gave us worst case senario and it was not good. Little did they know he would far outdo all they had ever hoped for him. Glory to God!!! I can’t imagine what joy I would have missed by never having known him or loving him. I believe with God all things are possible and am believing God to totally heal and restore to him all that the enemy 👿 (Satan) has stolen from him. Untimately all sickness and disease comes from the enemy and I believe it is not God’s plan for these things that happen. He has a plan for each of our lives and that of our children yet gives us a free will to abort that plan or not. May you fulfill the plan God has for your life. Remember God can turn every thing the enemy meant for harm to your good.
Dear Destiny,
Girl, you wouldn’t believe how many woman like us have gone through the same thing you’ve descibed- particularly me. When I first showed my boyfriend the two pregnancy tests that I’d taken, they were both positive. And he was happy and smiling. At that time, I was really pissed at him because I felt like he did it on purpose. I stopped talking to him for a while. Then, things startd getting weirder as the weeks went by. By the time I’d hit three months, he’d given me the notion that he didn’t really want to be a father anymore. That hurt. But you know what? I told him if he doesn’t want to be a father, then just move on. Girlfriend, don’t you know what you’re holding within you right now? Do you KNOW how many women are our here slaying and killing for the very ability that you posess?do you watch the news? You, on the other hand are able to. And God wouldn’t have given you the life you bear if it weren’t meant to be. That baby is in love with you, and who care what your boyfriend says. You really want to know why he wants you to abort? Becuase he’s beginning to see that this is more seroius than he thought. Guys think it’s cute to make babies. But half the time, it becomes a whole other issue when it’s time to raise them. You’re just like me. I cried through my entire first trimester. I even made an appointment to abort when I went to washington hospital center and got my sonogram. I felt scared. And I still am. But the reality is, honey, you’ll never be the same NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO. I know alot of women who went through with their abortions, and to this day they are overly depressed, have lost their desire to move on and continue living because now, they have to think about what they’ve done. It’ll be hard, but well worth it when you get to see that beautiful smile on her face one day. Don’t do it. That voice inside of you is god. Listen to him, and you CAN’T GO WRONG. If you’re boyfriend doesn’t want to stick around, rememer that you’re never alone. There are plenty of wonderful men in the world who are looking for a woman like you. I told my child’s father the same thing- and now, he feeels bad. It doesn’t matter though. As long as I’m a beautiful, intelligent, persistent woman who knows what she wants, I’ll find my soulmate when it’s time. Don’t do it. That baby needs you now more than ever. Trust your heart, and not the words of a scared little boy. Because from what you’ve said, he’s only looking out for his own best interest, not yours. He’s being really selfish, girl. Leave him alone, becuase he wasn’t thinking about all that when you two were getting busy, was he? Exactly, do the right thing.Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2006/11/15 01:59
i wouldnt consider abortion if i was you.. i mean youd probably regret it && to never know who your baby was or anything.. im ONLY 16.. && have a 6 month old son.. & am still with the dad.. && i was SCARED too.. but it gets better. i promise.. i LOVE that baby more than my life.. he keeps me going.. && is the best thing thats happened to me.
Not sure if it’s too late or not, but just from my experience… dont do it, go with your heart. If your b/f leaves you, so what?? If he doesnt, he’ll get to experience the joy of being a father and sacrificing for someone else. I had two abortions to follow my dreams and i’m 27 and still havent fulfilled a single one of them… I wish i had kept my little ones and not sacrificed them to the god of convenience.
now i really want one and i’m afraid that i might not be able to because damage was done to my womb during my first abortion. Please… go with your heart… abortion is not only killing a baby.. it kills your soul. and you NEVER forget it… it haunts you forever.
tyffanie_88
Please don’t do it!
GOD PUT THAT BABY IN YOUR TUMMY FOR A REASON…IF HE DIDNT WANT IT TO BE THERE…HE WOULDNT HAVE PUT IT THERE! ITS MORE THAN JUST SEX…ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON & THERE IS A REASON UR PREGNANT…YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IF YOU ABORT…IF YOU DONT ABORT…8 MONTHS FROM NOW YOU’LL KNOW…AND WILL BE TRULY BLESSED….A BABY CANNOT STOP YOU FROM DOING ANYTHING YOU WANNA DO…
DONT DO IT! PLEASE!
Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/16 15:13
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