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Jessica…..you are in some dilemma. Well I would strongly suggest not having unprotected sex unless your ready to have a baby. Both having an abortion and having a child are difficult things to go thru. And if you are pregnant I don’t know how or if your going to be able to not tell your parents and have the abortion. Someone has to drive you there and it is going to be painful emotionally and physically and they have to put you under anesthesia and then someone has to drive you home. Not to mention when you go home you are going to still be very groggy and not feeling well. You are only 13 and making these choice can severely change you physically and mentally no matter what decision you make so I would highly suggest you try your very best to avoid getting yourself in this situation again, by that I mean unprotected sex. I really don’t want to come off as mean or telling you what to do but I have been in your shoes and I know how alone and confused you are right now. I am here anytime to talk. I wish you the very best. Jessica
My advice would be to finish school. Sure it will be a little crazy but it’s still better then the 9-5 a lot of mom’s do right after having a baby. Going to school is in the best interest of your child and I think it’s phenomenal that you have gone to school and will be done just months after the baby is born. 🙂 -Jessica
Well I think it’s kind of hard to give advice without knowing what happened and how well you know this guy and how long ago it was.
I dwell on everything……every little thing that happens I feel I have to explain and it doesn’t take much for me to be embarrassed. -Jessica
Hi Autumn I am sorry to hear you are going thru so much right now. My advice would be to tell him how you feel and see where it takes you. If he does not want to be together then DONT you don’t want for him to be with you just for the baby or because that’s what you want. That is not going to make for a happy life for you or Caden or his father. I know that it is very difficult I went thru the same thing. My ex and I were together for 4 years before I had my daughter but we grew apart and we were both miserable. We were together for a total of 8 years and to be honest we should have called it quits long before we did. Once we did my life was my daughter, I did everything with her. Some call it good and some would say it’s not so good but I was her everything and she was mine. It was very hard at first but we were all much better off. And today our life is wonderful there are no head games, chasing men, the on and off and deal. Relationships should not be that way, not only for you but for your son. So again my advice would be to give it your best shot tell him how you feel and then don’t push the issue if it goes nowhere. Take this time to be a mom and in your son you will be amazed how much love and happiness you will find. Best of luck and you know I am here to chat anytime. Jessica
No you should not give that guy the time of day. If he is not planning on being there to help you and your child you should not have him around. Best of luck. Jessica
I have been in your shoes and I would strongly suggest waiting until you are married. If you bf wants to have a baby with you then he should propose and get married not for you and him but for the child. Best of luck. Jessica
Well I was induced four weeks before my daughter was born….they give you pitocin and it wasn’t bad…however I don’t have anything to compare it to. I was told I too had a favorable cervix and everything worked out great..My advice would be to listen to your Dr’s advice and be induced if he/she thinks it is in your best interest. I don’t think there are any con’s to being induced. And at this point you are definitely in the clear as far as the babies health is concerned. With your boyfriend don’t stress things you can’t change. I would say there is no reason he can’t be in the room with you even if he has a cold. Just have him wash his hands and not hold the baby at first and you wont have any problems. Best of luck….. Remember this is a happy exciting time don’t worry about things you can’t change….these are all times you won’t get to relive. Jessica
My opinion would be not to take the baby…. totally forgetting the whole chance the baby can get sick and car accident and everything I think you also need to think about you and your bf and the baby. I know your mom and possibly you want to show everyone the baby but I think you should take the first little while to spend with you and your new little family (you your bf and your son). You may also find it a little overwhelming with everyone wanting to be around and help etc etc, I know that I did. Having a newborn is a big change and you should cherish every moment. Not to mention the potential of the baby being exposed to gems that could make him sick… Can the family come to you? Best of luck…..Jessica
I think you are a very brave and honorable young women. You put the needs of your child before yours and that is a big part of being a mommy. You can and will do it. Good news is if the father is not around much your child will not know what they are missing. I think kids are more shaken up when parents are together and then split and the kids remember how life use to be. Being a mommy at any age is a change and not the easiest thing in the world however I believe it is the most rewarding. I wish you the best of luck and I am here to talk anytime. Jessica
My advice would be to stay positive. Start the birth control you have and see what happens but KEEP AN OPEN MIND. My best friend had a problem like yours and it went on for quite sometime. She has one little boy and every since she has these cysts. I know she had some kind of procedure done and they told her that if this did not work they were going to do a total hysterectomy. Don’t be afraid to go to a specialist and get a second opinion, there are options.
Best of luck. Jessica
Well unfortunately that often comes with pregnancy. With the extra hormones you are bound to do that. I would just prepare your bf that you love him but when you get in those mood just listen don’t fight back….hope that helps… Jessica
As far as the insurance side depending on where you live Medicaid is always an option. If you are accepted they normally go retro 3 months so if you do have any visits they would be reimbursed in the future if you are accepted. You will also be offered Cobra from work if you were on the plan before you were fired. You can stay on Cobra for 18 months in most states. If you were not on the insurance you will not have the option of Cobra and I would look into Medicaid. Best of luck to you. Jessica
Well I guess you are really the only one to answer that. I know I always give a hug and a kiss on the cheek and sometimes I will hug a little tighter. Just depends on my mood really. However none of my cousins live by me so I don’t see them often. For me if I am in a good mood I am more likely to give a nice big hug just as an I love you type of thing (to my family only of course).
Well every relationship and every person deals with things in different ways. I would say if he doesn’t want to talk about it and you have tried I would not push the issue. Maybe next time you want to have this talk just say to him “I would like to talk to you about our baby but when your ready” and see what he says. If he doesn’t respond I would not bring it up again. Making people talk about things they are not ready to can down faults. But again every relationship is different if you guys are very open with one another and normally talk about every emotion maybe you could tell him that you want to talk to him to help you cope with it. Just put your feelers out there and don’t be afraid if he turns you down and doesn’t want to have the convo. Best of luck. Jessica
Hi Eva, my name is Jessica and I know where you are coming from. I had an abortion over 8 years ago and I was devastated day in and day out I thought about having a baby. I prayed that the abortion was not successful and I was still pregnant. I like you got over it physically no problem and emotionally could not overcome and forgive myself. I went to counseling and resented myself and my parents for the abortion. Over the years I learned to cope with it and grow from it. I know that makes no sense right now but it’s very true. At some point you will not condone what you did but learn to live with your actions. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and this is one of those things. This will help to mold you as a person and make you appreciate even more when you have children in the future. However I strongly advise not having children until you are marred. Getting pregnant is not going to make the pain go away. And babies can not be replaced. Wait until you are married and be unselfish. I had my abortion at 16 and then had another baby at 18. Well long story short im no longer with my daughters father and my daughter suffers daily because I was selfish. I wish you the best no matter what you decide to do. Jessica
Good for you…. 🙂 To be honest I was not sure how you were going to raise them for a year and be able to part from them, I think you have made the right decision. Best of luck. Jessica
I remember when I was pregnant having to get up and pee in the middle of the night and I would go and lay back down and have to pee again. It was the worst…..and I don’t remember it getting better until I gave birth. Sorry…Best of luck. Jessica
I know exactly how you feel. I went thru the same thing after I had my abortion over 8 years ago. I know that it doesn’t seem possible now but time will help ease the pain and the constant thinking about babies. The pain and the memory will never go away but it will get better with time. Just remember that having another baby is not going to change or dull the pain of having the abortion. Babies can’t be replaced with other babies. Just take this time to come to peace with your actions and forgive yourself before you have more kids so it’s for the right reasons. Best of luck. Jessica
I personally have not but I read your article and wanted to tell you that I feel for you. I hope you have happier days soon. Happy Holidays. Jessica
