Meg11

It does help to know that someone else has been in your shoes doesn’t it <3.... Anyways, I think it is always best to rule out pregnancy 100% by taking a test... First thing in the morning with your first urine of the day is the most accurate time to test....Also, scroll back up to find the Optionline info and you can find a center near you where you can get a FREE test! If it turns out that you are not pregnant though, do NOT take this "scare" for granted! Its not luck, its grace...Learn from it and wait a while longer, preferably till marriage, until you place yourself in a position to be physical...It is the past of least regrets <3 Love Ya! Meg

Hey there, I know how confusing it can all be! My best advice would be this….1, No more sex at least until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not, that way you wont continue to risk pregnancy while you wait to find out…2, Contact optionline.org , Enter your postal code to find the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, including a pregnancy test….3, Come back and let us all know what you find out!!! Have you ever charted your periods? It can really help with these types of things….The next time you have a period write it on your calandar, I used to use a red marker and just circle the date….Then you can write a 1 underneath it, write the numbers in order each day of your period and then write a red S on the last day of your period, continue numbering your days until your period starts again and then repeat, circle that date in red and write a 1….If you start practicing this, it can really help you know your cycle better so that if you have a “scare” you can look at your dates and have a better idea of your risk factor!….I hope this helps and I hope you let us know what you find out!…Love Meg

Hey there….They symptoms you have are often associated with pregnancy, it would be a good idea for you to take a test, The best time to test is first thing in the morning with your first urine of the day, You should contact optionline.org and find a local Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, including a pregnancy test…You can also call 1-800-712-HELP….Please come back and let us all know what you find out! Just know that even if you are pregnant, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, there are so many resources out there today that having a baby and being a busy mom can go pretty smooth for the most part! <3 Meg

You are worth every second of my time honey!…..I wanted to encourage you in some truth…Hopefully the kind of truth that will set you free…..Honey, Penelope did NOT blow that candle out….It could be that you feel more remorse or guilt over her loss than you do for Austin and that guilt is deep within you twisting every thought you have and every experience you witness, In a sense its like you want to believe that she is angry with you and you want to believe that she “has it out for you” because in a sick way, it makes you feel better to know “its coming”….I know this because I beat myself up the same way over other issues in life….If I inflict pain on myself through guilt trips and self bad talking then what I expect to hear from others isn’t as bad….Well that will NOT happen here at Standupgirl!….

TRUTH, Your babies are in heaven, Jesus said, Forbid not the little children to come to me…..He would NEVER deny a sweet little life to enter into heaven, They are safe in His arms and those same arms are stretched out to you, longing to embrace you and heal your pain…..TRUTH, when someone is in heaven, they are not watching us, God is LOVE, He would never allow your babies to see you go through this torment, They are in a place where there is no sorrow, no tears, no pain, He would not allow them to “blow out candles” or witness your grief…That would prevent heaven from being the wonderful place it is!…..TRUTH, God is watching you, He is saving your tears in a bottle, He wants to heal your heart and He is waiting to forgive you….Waiting for what? For you to simply ask….You can’t earn forgiveness, you can’t buy forgiveness, you can only and simply receive it….Clearly you know what you did is wrong, clearly you have a need for that to be forgiven, If you ask God to forgive you, ask Him to cleanse you and set you free, ask Him to open your heart and let His Son Jesus come into your life and make you new, I PROMISE He will!….I had to do this 11 years ago when my life hit rock bottom, I couldn’t handle my consequences any longer…I needed help, I was drowning in my choices and He was there to reach out His hand and rescue me, He will rescue you too!!!….

Here is a poem, it is a tear jerker so grab the tissue, but it is truth and hope and I believe it is portrayed in the perfect light of what you are going through….I promise you, If you ask for forgiveness, You will receive it and He will NOT remember your sins, nor will He hold them against you, and one day, when you are done doing HIS work, you will join your babies in Heaven…..Much Love you to, know that I am here for you and after all of this, You will need to forgive yourself….It is often the hardest part….If God, The Creator of the Universe, can, will and wants to forgive you, then surely, you can find a way to forgive yourself….All we need to do is receive it, then move on and learn from it, share what we have learned with others, You know the bitter truth behind abortion, You can extend that painful gift to those who have not made that choice yet…..Hang in there, Read this poem and take in the truth of these words….Hold your head high and walk in the forgiveness that is being offered to you, by the One who Created you, and loves you <3

A Preborn Child's Conversation with His Heavenly Father

Father God, when is my mommy going to be here?

Soon, My child, soon.

Can you tell me how long?

There is no measure of time with Me, my child. She is busy right now doing the work I've given her to do. When all that is done, she'll be here.

Is she going to know me when she gets here?

Yes, she will, My child, I'll let her know.

What does she look like, Father God?

Why she looks like you, My child. The same color hair, the same eyes, the same nose; you resemble her a lot.

What do you think she's going to do when she sees me?

She will run to you, take you in her arms, and love you just as any other loving Mother would do.

Father God, why has she never held me in her arms before?

She never had the chance, My child.

Why did she never have the chance, Father God?

I don't remember, My child.

Della Baker Hutto
March 1994

"For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12

Hey there! Anytime you engage in sexual activity you run the risk of pregnancy, regardless of your cycle or whether or not you use protection….It only takes one sperm….Anyways, Your period is most likely late right? I would take a pregnancy test just to be sure, Pregnancy tests are most accurate when they are taken with your first urine of the day….If you contact Optionline, http://optionline.org/, Enter your postal code and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, and they can give you a test….It is always best to follow up with your doctor as well….I hope this helps a bit, please let me know what you find out! Love Meg

Hey there, Your story hits close to home with me….I WAS a single parent to two kids….It was challenging but I made it…so did the kids….My daughter was 2 1/2 when my son was born, She helped me in little ways…She would grab me diapers and wipes and throw things away, help put clothes in the basket etc…Your daughter is 6, WOW, She can be an even bigger helper to you!! Kids LOVE to help, it makes them feel important, it gives them a sense of accomplishment and it sure does take the edge off for us Mommies….Teka gave you great advice about contacting Optionline, your local Pregnancy Resource Center should have a program where you and your daughter can watch videos and fill in work sheets and earn “baby bucks” then you can shop in their little store for new and gently used items, maternity clothes, baby clothes, furniture, diapers etc…..When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I was actively attending church services….I was totally ashamed, I think I judged myself more than anyone else did….I remember one day a lady came up to me and she was like “CONGRATULATIONS, When did you get married?” I looked around because clearly she wasn’t talking to me….Yep, she was…I looked at her and was like, “ummm, I didn’t”, then she turned red and all embarrassed and she was like, “Oh I am SOOO sorry, I thought you were pregnant” Then I said, “I am”….I don’t know who was more embarrassed, her or me….I got over it and I don’t even remember who she was….I sat in the second row from the front, the second chair over for a few years, just me and my kids, I made the choice early in my second pregnancy to NOT have sex again until my wedding night….I made it, I met and married a wonderful man who had NO problem stepping up to the plate to be a father to my kids….Our first time was our wedding night….I thought I would never be able to say that, especially with my past….and trust me, when it comes to shame, I know it all too well….Just because I didn’t end up pregnant in those particular seasons doesn’t mean that I never risked pregnancy from more than one or two guys in the same time frame….I have so much regret over that past lifestyle and it has carried many consequences into my current life but with the Lord, I have made the best of it all….I am not that person anymore, I am in a committed, monogamous marriage, I have been made new…You can too, no matter who the dad is, whether your kids have the same dad or not, NONE of those things matter….YOU are their MOMMY, there is NO doubt about that and your Heavenly Father is waiting for you to turn back to Him and recommit to living His way…I did…you can too and I KNOW that there are not regrets on that road….PLEASE know that I am here for you…I truly understand how you feel and I PROMISE you that with God, all things are possible…You can make it through and have Joy unspeakable….Make that decision to say NO MORE SEX….Make the next man to enter your life, or maybe one who returns to walk this path with you, prove himself with love and respect…Tell him NO until your wedding night….Email me anytime, keep me up to date on your pregnancy and how things go with your parents…If they are REAL Christians, yes, they will be disappointed but they will look beyond all this with forgiveness and support you in making the right decision to continue in your pregnancy….It is not our mess ups that define us, but what we do when we realize we dropped the ball….Much Love….Meg meg@standupgirl.com

I am SO happy for you Eva!!! YAY!!! 🙂 Love Meg!

If you have any of the symptoms I mentioned above or if you feel like something is wrong, GO TO THE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY and tell them that you may be experiencing an ectopic pregnancy Or else just go NOW if you are willing to pay an emergency visit, hospitals also offer write offs for UN-insured patients many times)….If you make it through the night without any issues then call the hospital in the morning and ask for the labor and delivery unit, explain what you have been told and ask if they would refer you to a good high risk pregnancy doctor, MAKE AN APPT ASAP, you NEED to be seen by someone who KNOWS what they are talking about, it confuses me why someone would tell you that you are experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and do NOTHING….It is important that you be seen by a professional and have an ultrasound in the next 24 hours, sooner than later is best, I always avoid the emergency room like the plague because they can cost a lot of money but if you are at risk for rupture, no amount of money is worth your health…Did the clinic give you any paperwork? By any chance was it a clinic that performs or refers for abortions? Sometimes they say things to cause pregnant women to panic so that they will consider ending their pregnancy, Anyways, Is your husband with you? You need to make sure he understands what is going on with you incase you faint or black out, you should NOT be alone tonight or until you know for sure what is happening to you, make sure you have someone to take care of your daughter and to check in on you through the night and be seen AS SOON AS YOU CAN tomorrow! I am praying for you! Love Meg

Hey there Jean….My name is Meg and I wanted to pop in and encourage you…You ARE doing the right thing….I know this is hard and scary but I have been in your shoes with TWO kids on my own…I was pregnant with my second son when my life turned into a country song…I lost my job, my car, my friends and the father didn’t call me for 5 months…I never skipped a meal and I never lacked a roof over my head and I promise that you will lack nothing that you have need of….I want you to call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, they will direct you to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help…they can point you in the direction of any and all local resources that can help, whether a maternity home, housing assistance or maybe they know of another girl in your same shoes that you can rent a room with…My husband and I have an empty room in our home, we offered it to a pregnant girl just last month, someone else stepped in and gave her a place closer to where her bf was staying so she never took us up on the offer, I promise you that there is someone out there just waiting to reach out and help you! The Pregnancy Resource Center is a great place to share the needs that you have….I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and I didn’t simply make it, I LIVED JOYFULLY….I always had what I needed right when I needed it, sometimes not until the very last moment but it kept me on my toes and it kept me praying! There is WIC, Food Stamps, Housing, Grants, help with the Electric Bill and Phone Bill and Medical, etc….Go to your local PRC and also look up Adult and Family Services in your phone book….they can set up a meeting to help you with crisis assistance….This I can tell you 100% though, You will NEVER regret your baby…No sacrifice will ever cast a shadow on your love for this baby, You will make it, I promise! I am here ANYTIME you need to talk to someone who has been that and made it….Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com

Honey I am so sorry….it is a very selfish thing to do, it sounds so cliche until you are the one in those painful shoes…the pain that suicide causes is a pain of its own category…sure we miss our grandmas who lived to 93 and had a happy loving family, we miss our friends who were ripped away in a sudden accident but to have a hole in our lives placed there by a person who CHOSE to leave, someone who willfully purposefully said, You are not worth staying here for…unless you have been abandoned in that manner you can’t fully grasp what it does to a person….the guilt we carry, that we are not responsible for, the what ifs that will NEVER be answered, it is cruel and selfish and unbearable on the best day…You know I am here, I am approaching 10 years for my mom, We never had a funeral, I am thinking about planning one and advertising it in my community for anyone who wants to attend but specifically for suicide survivors like us…Honey, if it is not too late, you should go to the funeral….the closure offered is something that is rare to come by…I hate that you are going through this….I love you and wish that I could throw my arms around you…Email me anytime…Love you!

Each woman has such different hormones, pregnant or not so something like dry skin is a really hard pregnancy predictor, I will inform you of one thing though, in the event of KNOWING you are pregnant, DON’T SCRATCH!!! Causes stretch marks, my boobs ALWAYS itched when I was pregnant with my first, I would just sit there and scratch scratch scratch away, yeaaaaaah, the whole underside of my breasts got really bad stretch marks…they have faded and are no longer bright red like they used to be but it sucks…DON’T SCRATCH!!!

My point was that if her parents are not ready to sign consent then there must be a reason for it….if she cannot marry you with their blessing then I feel it is important to wait for that, the issue of them forcing an abortion is WAAAAY different and has no comparison when it comes to “disobeying”….I simply said what I did, I am ALL FOR you two getting married and starting a family, with what Megan has shared with me, her goals, dreams and ambitions I would say the sooner the better, however if her parents are not ready to sign consent, I think it is ALWAYS better to start a marriage and a family in peace with the rest of the family….if she is of legal age and they do not want you two married that is THEIR problem, but until they give that permission and she is a minor they have that say….I have NO PROBLEMS with starting a family young, having kids as an older teenager etc….I personally just feel and it is backed by the statistics that show children born to married couples have a much more solid sense of security, do better in school etc…I know there are exceptions to the rule and before you get all up in my case you may want to review the emails between Megan and I and see that I have supported her goals and dreams and edified her and encouraged her and built her up as a future mom…I KNOW she will be a great parent….my only statement is that you two should get married FIRST….is that really such a big deal to wait for? I know the difference, you do not….I got married with kids in tow, it was hard for THEM, when we are parents it is ALL ABOUT THE KIDS….think of THEM…you have not joined the services YET, you do not have that wealthy paycheck YET, you do not have the medical benefits YET…will it really hurt you to wait? NO…Can it hurt you AND your kids to NOT wait? YES…that is my point…if you go and join the services and God forbid something happen to you, your children will be provided for but NOT Megan, unless she is your WIFE….The military does not support girl friends or fiances, they take care of WIVES…all I am saying is get married before you have kids, if there is even a shred of something that could go wrong do you want to risk it? You have NOTHING to loose by waiting but you do risk certain things by NOT waiting….My husband and I have already decided that if our daughter is 16, 17, 18 and she meets her match, the one, and he is in a position to support her we will sign the papers and let her marry while she is still in high school…I am NOT against teenagers KNOWING WHAT THEY WANT…I am just a firm believer in doing things the cautious way, if there is a risk, wait, its worth it…I will finish the thread with this statement…if you KNOW what you want and DO NOT care for advice then don’t ask for it….I answered a question, I did NOT push my beliefs, I did NOT volunteer an opinion that was NOT asked for….If you have made up your mind then that is all there is to it but don’t keep asking for advice if you are not willing to hear and listen…if a 15 year old is perfectly capable of driving a car, owns a car and is really good at handling it, great…however until they have their license they are not LEGAL…by not being legal you cannot purchase insurance, you get in a wreck with no insurance and you are going to regret it….so sure, you want to start a family, you are well practiced and physically capable of doing so but is it wise just yet? I hope you two make really good decisions, I have NO DOUBT that you will live a long and happy life together and have a blessed and wonderful family….I just hope that you will do things in a way that does not burn bridges or put yourselves into a bad situation…Love Meg