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Gissy,
If you stopped taking the pill and/or didn’t take it regularly and had unprotected sex there is a chance you could be pregnant. It may have been too early to detect the HCG hormone that indicates pregnancy. I would take the test again in a week. If it is negative you could see your doctor to make sure that you are not pregnant (they could do a blood test) and to see if there are other medical reasons for the symptoms you are experiencing.
By the way, even if your boyfriend pulls out there is still sperm in pre-ejaculate and you could still get pregnant. I think that in fairness to your boyfriend you should tell him that you stopped taking the pill. Both partners should be open, aware, and responsible of any consequences of mutual sexual activity. Also, have you told your bf that you suspect you might be pregnant? Have you talked with him about whether he would be there to support you and both of your child if you were to become pregnant? I would talk openly and honestly with him before continuing to have unprotected sex (even pulling out). Good luck and best wishes.
Kate
Tasheka,
I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I can understand how you feel like you want to be pregnant again, since you lost your baby. Also I can relate to feeling family pressure for grandchildren. My parents have been not so subtly begging for grandchildren for a while now (but they wiated until I was married before pushing for grandkids.) It is possible to be pregnant a few weeks after a miscarriage. I think that 2 weeks would probably be too early to detect whether you are pregnant or not. I would wait another week or two and take the test again. If you are pregnant, then congratulations! If you are not pregnant, I would focus on trying to finish high school and wait until after your marriage next summer to try to have a baby. I’m not saying not to have a baby if you are pregnant. However, it would be much easier for you, your fiance/future husband, and future children if you are able to focus on graduation and marriage before you have a baby to take care of. Best Wishes.
Kate
I would try taking another home pregnancy test. The levels of HCG hormone might have been too small to detect with the first test, if you are pregnant. If the result is positive I would set up your first pre-natal appointment with your doctor. If the results are negative I would set up an appointment with your doctor to determine why you’re cycle is off and you are having the symptoms. Even with withdrawal it is possible to become pregnant, but there might be other reasons why you’re cycle is off. Best wishes.
Marie,
The symptoms you are describing sound like they could be early pregnancy symptoms. The best way to know for sure is to take a home pregnancy test. Have you discussed with your boyfriend that you suspect you might be pregnant? Best Wishes.
Ash,
Even though they were light, since you have been having monthly periods on a roughly regular bases I would guess that you are not pregnant. However I would take a pregnancy test just to find out for sure. Have you talked to your boyfriend about whether he would be there to support you and your baby if you did become pregnant? You can take or leave this advice but before continuing a sexual relationship I would make sure that your bf will be willing to be supportive and responsivle in facing the consequenses of mutual sexual actions. Best wishes.
Take a good and honest look at your relationship. Will the father be there for you? Will he be there for the baby? Don’t give up on a good relationship, but don’t stay trapped in a relationship that deep down you realize is not healthy. Hang in there. Maybe you can work things out. If not there are resources to help out single mothers. Adoption is also a possible option is facing parenthood alone seems a frightening and overwhelming prospect. I don’t know if you are Christian or not, but I would pray and see if you feel that God leads you in a certain direction. Follow your heart and soul.
Ashey,
If you had unprotected sex, then there is a possibility that you could be pregnant. If you had sex more than two weeks ago and you have already missed your expected period most home tests should be able to detect if you are pregnant. I would take a test to find out. If the test is negative and you still haven’t started in a couple of weeks I would take the test again and/or see your doctor to determine if you are pregnant or if there is another reason your cycle is off. Have you talked to your boyfriend and told him you think you might be pregnant? Do you think he will be supportive you and his child if you are pregnant?
Jenn,
How horrible for your ex to do that to you! I am so sorry that you had to go through such a hard experience. If I had been in your situation of abuse and fear I don’t know what I would have done. I have never personally had to deal with the pain of an abortion but I know women who have. I would reccommend that you talk to Project Rachel or other post abortion counseling to help you to deal with some of the pain and grief from your past experience. God’s love is full of mercy and compassion. I am sure that one day you will get to see your child in heaven and he or she will know that you love them and give you a big hug. I wish I could help to ease the pain, but perhaps talking with women who have gone through similar experiences can help provide some healing.
Amber,
I am glad to hear that your baby’s father and now your husband has been there to support you and your baby together. You must be getting excited about getting close to having your baby.
Incidentally, your situation seems a lot like a case in the courts here in my state (Nebraska). A 14 year old girl and her 22 year old boyfriend were married recently in Kansas with the support from both sets of families. The girl is pregnant and due soon (maybe she has already had the baby.) Although they are legally and happily married the attorney general wants to send the father to jail for statutory rape and prevent him from access to his wife and baby. It seems to me that the father is trying to take responsibility for his actions and that he does love his wife. Throwing him in jail and breaking apart the family will do more damage than good.
At least you’re not having to face a situation like that! 9 years is quite an age difference. It may be difficult at times if you find yourself at different stages in life, but I have heard of cases where with true love it can work. Good luck and best wishes to the two (actually three) of you!
Kathryn,
It does sound like we have a lot in common! Happy anniversary (late). Your husband sounds wonderful.
My husband and I just celebrated our 6th wedding Anniversary on August 28. We met about ten years ago in college classes and dated for about 6 months before we broke up. I was pretty devastated. A good male friend of mine, Sean asked me out after Jeremy and I broke up. (He had asked me out before and I has said no because he was 3 years younger and I didn’t want to damage our friendship. However there had for a long time been a mutual attraction and sexual tension.) We started dating and all the previous sexual tension came to the surface. We were both virgins, but gave in to our curiosity and urges. As soon our relationship turned sexual it went downhill. I had a pregnancy scare. He told me that if I was pregnant that he didn’t think he could be there for me or the baby. That really bothered me. Also he was always putting me down and just seemed interested in sex. The good friendship we had before was unfortunately destroyed. Deep down I knew this was not a good relationship and I eventually broke it off. Later Jeremy and I started hanging out together as friends and eventually started dating again. We have been together ever since. Jeremy and I did have a pregnqancy scare after we were engaged before we were married, but luckily I was not pregnant.
I was an environmental studies major in undergrad. I took a lot of biology courses and am very interested in zoology and botany. I also had an art minor. I sufferred from depression in mid/late college and my grades sufferred. In what should have been my senior year I just stopped going to classes. After Jeremy and I were married I took some time away from school to redefine and rebalance my life. I decided that I really did want to finish my degree, but finances were an issue. I worked full time and also took classes by working them around my work schedule and taking night and correspondence courses. It took me 8 years from start to graduation but eventually I made it to graduation! I continued to work full time and take classes.
This fall I just started graduate school in textile design and I have a paid graduate assistantship which means that for the first time in a long time I will be able to coordinate work and school in a very integrated and flexible way. I don’t know if I will have to sit out next semester. (My due date is Febraury 19th) but it sounds like if I choose to take classes and work as the gallery assistant that my professors will be willing to work with me – which is good! My husband is working on his masters in educational psychology and is working full time too. He works for a group on campus focusing on making the university more accessible for students with physical and learning disabilities. Your work with autistic children seems right up his alley.
Best Wishes to you too!
I couldn’t open the link you posted but I believe you.
When was I pregnant? I am still currently pregnant. I am about 16 weeks along. I found out when I was about 7 weeks pregnant. If my calculations are correct conception should have been sometime in the very end of May.
Was it an accident? No. Not exactly. We had disconued birth control and had planned on starting trying to get pregnant aiming for a few months further down the road. We didn’t expect to get pregnant right away, but that’s how it happened.
Is the baby’s father in our lives? Yes. He’s very supportive. We have been married for six years and he is scarred but excited at the prospect of being a daddy.
Is my family behind me? Yes. This is the first grandchild on both sides so both families are very excited and supportive.
What is the baby’s name? How old is s/he? Is it a boy or girl? We haven’t found out what sex the baby will be yet. I still haven’t decided whether I want to know before it is born (my husband wants to know.) We’ve picked out a handful of girls and boys names that have potential but I don’t think we’ll have a definitive name until the child is born.
Do I have any regrets? Not really. (Ask me that again when I go through changing diapers and sleepless nights or when the child goes through the terrible twos or teenage years 😉 ). I don’t think I’m as prepared for parenthood as I could be but ready or not… I’m not sure anyone can be completely prepared.
Hope this helps with your project.
Well I am 28 and pregnant for the first time. I had a couple of pregnancy scares when I was 19 and 20, but luckily was not pregnant. I honestly wish that I had waited until marriage for sex, but it is not possible to go back and change the past. Is it ideal for girls to be pregnant at 15? No, I was panicked when I thought I might be at 19 and pregnancy is not easy even when you are 28 and happily married. I would reccomend that girls seriously think about the emotional, physical, and spiritual consequenses before having sex as a teenager. That said, many girls find themselves in a difficult situation and are pregnant at 15. I think this site is important to help them when they feel they have nowhere to turn and to let them know that there are other options besides abortion. Teenage mothers get more than enough condemnation and judgement.
Shevon,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s reaction. I certainly hope I didn’t make things worse for you. God is on your side and you are not alone. I’m not sure what state you live in and what the specific resources are in your state. You could start by looking at the links under "girl help" on this website. What about the father of your baby? Is there any chance that he could be supportive or his family would be supportive? Even if not you might still be able to get child support down the road if you decide to raise the child yourself. Do you have any other relatives that you can trust that you think might be supportive? grandparents? aunts & uncles? Do you belong to a church? If so you could talk to your pastor and perhaps he/she could provide support counseling and direct you to pregnancy resources. If you decide to pursue adoption I know there are agencies out there that will cover all prenatal and delivery expenses. Otherwise maybe you could qualify for medicaid coverage or WIC benefits.
Kate
What’s your project? I am guessing that you are looking to interview teenage moms and pregnant teenagers. I’m 28 so I doubt I’m the demographic you are seeking, but if you still want me to answer some questions I’d be glad to help with your project.
I would wait and see what happens. Hopefully everything will be OK. It sounds like the doctor was trying to prepare you for the worst-case possibility of miscarriage. I haven’t had to go through a miscarriage but I have several friends and relatives who have. I know how sad it can feel. I will be thinking and praying for you and for your baby. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through the pain of the abortion and I can understand how you are feeling. Why didn’t you tell your boyfriend about the pregnancy? Perhaps he would have been supportive. Its not good to keep such strong feelings of pain, loss, and guilt inside. I would talk to a group like Project Rachel or other post-abortion counseling. They should be able to help you deal with your feelings. I would also talk to your boyfriend and tell him what happened and how you are feeling. From my experiences relationships are strongest when both partners are able to openly communicate their feelings and be there to support one another through hard times. I will keep you in my prayers.
I don’t think it sounds like a dumb question! I have the same question too. I am about 15 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy too. I don’t think I’ve felt the baby move yet, but I am hoping I can soon. The books I’ve read said 16-24 weeks (that’s a wide range!).
Kathryn,
Thanks for your advice. It is good to know that there is someone out there at about the same age and stage in pregnancy as I am at. So far I have been doing pretty well. I am FINALLY getting over the morning sickness a little bit (getting sick a couple of times a week is better than getting sick a couple of times a day!) I haven’t felt any movement yet but I am looking forward to when I can feel the baby rather than just feeling pregnancy symptoms. I am also looking forward to when the doctor will do an ultrasound at 20 weeks and I can get to see the little one! How have things been going for you?
Anyways I did meet with my dad for dinner together. The conversation went better than I had expected. I was worried because we both have pretty strong tempers (I get that from my dad). I didn’t tell him about my dream (prob should have) but I told him a little bit about how I was feeling. I told him that we were not giving away our house cat and that it was our house and our decision. (He just stressed that we would need to vaccuum several times every day if we did keep the cat.) I told him that we had life and health insurance covered. I gave a basic brief description of our coverage (I shouldn’t have had to…but I could tell it reassured him and it got him off my back.) As far as the cleaning situation we did quite a bit of cleaning ourselves. I said that money to help with cleaning would be better used closer to when I am due and maybe a little help after the baby is here and I’m exhausted from sleepless nights. He thought that sounded reasonable. I told him that I understood his concerns but it was our house and we don’t judge his house or tell him how my parents need to run their house. I know that my parents love me and are just concerned for me and for their future grandchild but I still get frustrated. We’ll see how things go with the rest of the pregnancy and once the baby is here.
Nicole,
I admire the strength you have provided for your 3 children. It sounds like you have been a great mother and care very much about them. I am sorry about your experience with the past abortion and I can understand your fears about your current pregnancy situation. It sounds like you are still dealing with the emotional and physical pain from your abortion. I am sorry that you had to go through that experience. Have you discussed your feelings with your boyfriend? Have you told him about the pain you felt and about your prayers and promises to God? If your boyfriend truly loves you and cares about you he shouldn’t force you or pressure you into making that painful choice again. If he really loves you and you have a strong relationship together he will stand by you and care for you whether you decide to raise this child or to give it up for adoption.
I would agree with the previous posts that adoption sounds like a good choice for your situation. You could even look at an open adoption in which you could still have some contact with your child. Many adoption programs will cover the financial costs of pregnancy and delivery.
Kate
I haven’t experienced labor yet (I’m a due in February and am actually a bit nervous about that myself!) However I can give you information I have read and from what I have been told by friends that have had babies recently.
What you are experiencing could be Braxton-Hicks contractions. Which as I understand it are contractions as the uterus stretches and prepares for labor. They can start several months before real labor contractions and should be much less intense.
If you were leaking fluid though I don’t know if the amniotic membrane could have ruptured? If this is the case then there could be risk of infection.I would call your doctor and tell him or her the symptoms you are experiencing. If they think there is a problem then they should have you come in for an appointment. If everything is normal at least you will know and it won’t be such of a worry. Good luck!
Shevon,
Congratulations! Please don’t let anyone else force or pressure you into having an abortion, especially if YOU don’t want to have one! It may be tough but it is YOUR baby and YOUR pregnncy and nobody should force you into choosing abortion against your will. By the time you are 2 and a half months the fetus already looks like a little baby with arms and legs and fingers and toes. It already has a heartbeat. There are some incredible pictures on this site and elsewhere on the internet. Maybe if you show them to your mom and explain to her that you believe that it is an innocent life inside you that you don’t want to hurt she will respect your decision to carry the baby.
I’m sorry that your mother is not being supportive. Perhaps you could contact a local crisis pregnancy center or birthright. They should give emotional and possibly financial help for you. Also you might consider an open adoption in which you would still have some contact with your child. I will pray for you and for your family. If there is any way I can help let me know. Good Luck sweetie.
Kate
Even if your boyfriend pulls out there is still sperm in pre-ejaculate so you can still get pregnant. If you want to avoid getting pregnant I would either wait to have sex with your b/f until you were both ready for parenthood or use condoms and/or birth control.
Luckily I have never experienced a miscarriage (at least that I am aware of). Before I was on birth control my cycles were very heavy, painful and extremely irregular. I’m not sure how a normal cycle is for you, but if you are still having unusual sharp pain you should probably see a doctor to check things out.
Kate
Belinda,
It is possible to get pregnant even if it is during your period and/or even if you are on birth control. I would take a pregnancy test to find out for sure. Have you missed your period? Some tests allow you to test before you miss your period but the results are more accurate if you wait until after the first day of your expected cycle. Good luck.
Kate
Ellie,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
Also I agree with your comment about marriage. I didn’t wait until marriage to have sex, but I honestly wish that I had. I am glad that I do have a strong relationship with my husband. We are expecting our first child in February and it would be so much more frightening without his support. (Not to say that boyfriends can’t be supportive – before we were married we had a pregnancy scare. It is so strange to think that if I had been pregnant we would have a fourth grader right now!)
I would like to tell any young girls to really think about their relationship before having sex and/ot trying to become pregnant. You and your children deserve someone who will be there for you no matter what. Sex can be great, but if you don’t have the love and support in the relationship it isn’t worth it. Also don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you are worthless if you have already last your virginity before you are married. Each day is a new day and future decisions are yours to make.
Is this am older sister or younger sister? Either way your sister is probably going through a lot of stress and a rollercoaster of emotions. I would let your sister know that you love her and be there to listen to her if she needs someone she can trust to talk to. If she asks your advice on whether to raise the baby herself or to give it up for adoption – be honest about your opinion. However I would NOT be judgemental of your sister. She is probably getting enough of a judgemental attitude at this time. Also I would try not to interfere in conflicts between your sister and your parents. Whether your sister decides to choose parenting or adoption (she could also choose open adoption in which she chould still have some contact with the child) it won’t be easy for her. Just talk to your sister – try to understand her perspective and where she is coming from.
