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I like to tell people to follow their heart, but in your case I would not – sorry. You are right to want to give 100% to your baby. If you are at University you will not be able to do that. You also will probably have a difficult time providing for your child. The best thing you can do for yourself is wait until you are married to start a family.
Do you mean that you have a yeast infection? A yeast infection of the mouth is called Thrush. If you think you have yeast infection, the best thing to do is see a doctor. I know that you don’t want to see a doctor because it is embarrassing, but the truth is, this is very common among women. The doctor understands your embarrassment and will not do anything that would humiliate you.
Mommieofchris, I think you are so brave. Thank you so much for posting on this forum. I am grateful for you!
I would just like to clarify that the type of Herpes that you get on your mouth is called Herpes Simplex Type 1 or HSV-1 for sort. This is commonly referred to as a fever blister or a cold sore. A canker sore is something different.
Genital Herpes is called Herpes Simplex Type 2 or HSV-2 for short.
Not all that long ago it was not possible for a person to have HSV-1 on their mouth and transmit it to their partner’s or their genitals, but Herpes, just like any other virus mutates and now it is becoming possible for HSV-1 to be transferred to the genitals.
This is from the CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm):
HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital HSV-1 outbreaks recur less regularly than genital HSV-2 outbreaks.
Commonly, people think that they are only contagious when they are having an outbreak. Not true. Whether or not you are having an outbreak you are contagious. There are only certain times of the month in which you can get pregnant, but you can spread Herpes any time you have sex.
Valtrex is a great medication (but expensive) for those with Herpes. However, the commercials are nothing short of misleading. Herpes is pretty painful when you are having an outbreak. Valtrax shortens the length of time of outbreaks and the severity of the outbreak so the person is more comfortable. But Valtrex does not make you non-contagious or even less contagious. It just helps you to have fewer and less painful outbreaks. If you have sex you can still spread it and you can still catch Herpes from an infected person if they are on Valtrex.
A lot of people have the idea that they will just have oral sex to be "safe". They are only thinking about pregnancy. Pregnancy only lasts 9 months. Herpes and other viral sexually transmitted diseases last a life time.
There is no such thing as safe sex.
Hey I’m the moderator today and I was reading over this post. It’s so sad. But I want to say that there is hope. Your world is dark now, but it does not have to stay like that.
There are pregnancy resource centers across the United States and the world that have FREE post abortion support groups. I highly recommend it. You don’t have to suffer in silence any more. The best thing you can do to help yourself is to talk about your feelings with other women who have been through the same thing as you. There is no judgment or condemnation. I would like to add that I think you are all very brave to be talking on here about your abortion openly and honestly. It is the first step to healing.
Let me tell you how to find a pregnancy resource center that has a post abortion support program. Just call 1-800-395-HELP or you can go to http://www.optionline.org. If you are not in the United States you can check out careconfidential.com.
There is hope, and the sun will come out. Just hang in there. Also you can email me any time April@standupgirl.com
The only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test. You can call 1-800-395-4357 and they can hook you up with a free and confidential pregnancy test.
White discharge is not a usual sign of pregnancy; however, among other things, it can be a symptom of a sexually transmitted disease (STD). I would make an appointment with your doctor right away to get checked out.
Have you considered waiting until marriage to have sex? You are special and so is your body. You owe it to yourself and to your future to wait until you are married to have sex. And if you really love the guy that you are with now, there is a chance that you will get married. You may already be planning on marring him. If that is the case, why have sex now and take a risk when you have the rest of your life to have sex with him?
I would be concerned about this. White discharge could be a sign of many things. I would definitely go to the doctor. Why would you want to risk it?
Love ya
There is no need to "be strong". You’re allowed to not be ok after an abortion. It is not something you bounce back from. Yes, your body may bounce back but it might take a lot more time for you to emotionally.
I would suggest a support group. This is not something you can just deal with on your own. It is good to meet other women who have been through the same thing. It is also beneficial to talk about what you are going through with other people who have been there.
Let me tell you how to find a support group in your area. Go to http://www.optionline.org, click on "find a center", type in your zip code, click search and a list of pregnancy resource centers will come up. Call one and tell them you would like to get in a post abortion group. They will be happy to help you. The best news is that it is free!
You can get through this. You just got to believe.
Have you considered marriage as opposed to just moving in with your partner? The reason I ask is that there are many benefits for both you and your child if you are married.
When you take all those chemical hormones it can really screw up your cycle. The morning after pill is famous for causing irregular periods. I would talk to a doctor. I would even suggest an ultrasound because you have about a 6% increased risk of an ectopic pregnancy after you take the morning after pill. However, I don’t really think that you should be concerned about that at this point.
Depo is pretty hard on your body and it does take some time to bounce back. The length of time varies upon the individual.
If you and your partner are working toward moving in together you might want to consider waiting to get pregnant. It would be hard to move and rearrange your life with an infant. Additionally, if you feel that you are going to be with him for a while and possibly get married, you have time to get pregnant. I know that you want another child right now, but it is ok to wait for things we really want sometimes.
Hey this is April. I talked to you via email. I’m glad to see you posted. Let me know what you find out.
Hey thanks for posting. I talk with a lot of women who have also gone through an abortion and a typical response afterward is wanting to have a baby to take the place of the one they aborted. I feel like you are experiencing this as well. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be pregnant, but if you do decide to have a child, he or she will not take the place of the one you lost.
There is good news, however. You can get free help from other women who have been through the same thing as you. These are post abortion support groups. You’ll be able to meet other women who have been through the same thing as you and understand your feelings of wanting to have another baby. Let me tell you how to find a group. Go to http://www.optionline.org, click on "find a center", type in your zip code and a list of pregnancy resource centers will come up. Just call the one that is closest to you and tell them what you have been through. They will be so glad you called and they really want to help you.
The best news is that it is free! You have nothing to lose by going and everything to gain.
At the pregnancy resource center they will also be able to give you a free pregnancy test.
I have no idea what the laws are regarding Medi-Cal, but most of the time there is no government assistance for abortion, but there is government assistance if you decided to parent your child or make an adoption plan.
You said that you don’t want to have an abortion. I think that is great, and if you don’t want it, there is no reason that you should. Remember, abortion is a permanent decision and whatever you do now will affect you for the rest of your life.
Have you considered becoming a mother? You said your life has not been easy, and it certainly has not been, but look at everything you have made it through. You have a lot more life experience than most. Why quit now? Why throw in the towel? I think if you decide to parent you can put all your good life experience to use. I really feel like you can do this. You are equipped to be an excellent mother to your child. Maybe others around you are telling you that you can’t, but that is not true. Just from your post I can tell that you have it together and you have a good head on your shoulders. Even though the situation around you may be crumbling, you are strong and steadfast. I really believe in you.
Let me refer you to a website that can help you locate a pregnancy resource center that can assist you and your pregnancy needs for no cost. Go to optionline.org and click on the red box that says “find a center”. Type in your zip code and a list of pregnancy resource centers will appear. Call the center and tell them about your situation. Just say that you need financial assistance and they will know where to take it from there.
No worries. You are going to be just fine. I’m so glad you found the site. If you want to talk some more, just write me back.
Doctors are there to help us make good decisions. It sounds like you are uncomfortable, and I would be too. I would def. go back in and have a long conversation about this medication. You need to educate yourself. Don’t feel silly going back in. It is better to be safe than sorry.
Hey thanks for posting on Stand Up Girl.
I’m not a doctor, but it sounds to me like you could have a sexually transmitted disease. Have you been checked recently? Until you are, you def, should not have sex. Please make an appointment to see your doctor right away.
It is not illogical that you want you parent your child. It is completely rational. It is true that you have a wonderful human life inside of you – a life that is not replaceable.
It is true that your baby’s heart begins to beat around the 22nd day. Did you know that at the very moment of conception (when the sperm hits the egg) your baby’s hair color, eye color, height, approximate weight, and some personality traits are all determined? That is right. Your baby looks like you! He or she could have your eyes, nose, mouth, hair, etc. You have inside of you a unique person.
You are right for wanting to parent your child, and if you ask me, I think you can do it. I know you can do it. I believe in you. I can tell that you would make a great mother. You are already so concerned about your child. You are a Stand Up Girl! You can do this.
Don’t get an abortion because you want to make other people happy. You have to listen to you. You will be the one who has to deal with the consequences for the rest of your life.
Did you know that about 80% of couples break up after an abortion? 80%! So even if you do abort your baby to make your bf happy, there is still a high likelihood that he will leave you anyway. The odds are not in your favor.
I think you know in you heart that you do not want to get rid of your baby. You know what is right! I believe in you. I know that you will be a great mother. So many other women have been right where you are now. They have decided to parent their child and it was the best decision they have ever made. Don’t believe the lies that tell you can cannot parent your child. It is not true. You are a Stand Up Girl and I know that you can.!
If you give your baby the chance to live you will never regret it.
Ya know, taking emergency contraception is not 100% effective, so even if your friend were to take it, she could still get pregnant. Emergency contraception is not cheap either, so she may be throwing her money away too.
The thing about emergency contraception is that the brand on the market right now is new, and there has been VERY little testing on it. In fact, there has not been any testing on how taking all these chemical hormones can effect your body in the long run. Emergency contraception is a whole bunch of chemical hormones taken in a short period of time. It can be hard on your health, and there has not been adequate research to see how this affects women.
Remember, there is only a small window of time each month when you can get pregnant and if your friend did not have sex at this time, there is no need for her to take and because she cannot get pregnant anyway. Why waste the money and pump your body full of chemical hormones if you don’t have to? It is not worth it.
Your friend should probably just wait about 7 to 10 days and take a pregnancy test. Here is a link to a website that can run a free and confidential pregnancy test. http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp or you can call 1-800-395-HELP. At the website all you have to do is type in your zip code and a list of centers will appear. Just call the center and tell them that you need a free pregnancy test run. They will be happy to help you.
Hi, I am a moderator on the site. The forums are moderated by volunteers. I am one of them. Basically, we approve and delete posts throughout the day when we have time. We all have jobs and other responsibilites. You just have to be patient until we can get to them.
Your child has a heartbeat and he or she is developing. You have another human being inside of you. Did you know that at the moment of conception (when the sperm meets the egg) your baby’s hair color, eye color, height, approximate weight and some personality traits are all determined? Yes, from the very moment of conception, your baby is a human being. No one has the right to take away the life of another person.
Have you thought about the day you give birth in the hospital? Your baby looks like you and is a part of you.
Don’t have an abortion. You will regret it. Remember, abortion is permanent and if you change your mind afterward, you can never have that precious child back again.
I think in your heart you do not want to do this and you are right to not want to. Don’t let other people’s (your parents) opinion determine how you live out your life. Do you think you are considering abortion because it is something you want or are you considering it to make others happy? What do you think your baby would want you to do?
Don’t let anyone talk you done and tell you that you are not ready to be a mother. You can do it. I believe in you. You can be a Stand Up Girl.
Hey, there is help available for women after abortion. You don’t have to go on in pain in agony. There are pregnancy resource centers all across the United States that have free post abortion support programs. I have heard so many great things about the program. A lot of the women I work with have gone through the program and they say it turned their life around. They said they were able to go back to the person they were before the abortion. Follow this link to find a support group in your area. http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp or you can call 1-800-395-HELP. At the website all you have to do is type in your zip code and a list of centers will appear. Just call the center and tell them that you need post abortion care. They should be able to get you into a free program to get the help that you need.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yes, you can get pregnant on birth control and you can get pregnant if he pulls out. There is no such thing as “safe sex”. The only way to not get pregnant is to not have sex. Wait until you are married to have sex. That is what I am doing.
Yes, you can get pregnant from pre-cum, but a condom is NOT the answer. There is no such thing as safe sex. If you don’t want to be pregnant, don’t have sex. Safe sex is the great lie. You can still get pregnant and you can get sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom.
A couple minutes of pleasure, do not equal a life time of regret. It is not worth the risk.
Girl, you are throwing the cart before the horse. You need to take a pregnancy test first. You might not even be pregnant and all this worryin’ is for nuthin.
Here is a link to a website that can run a free and confidential pregnancy test for you. http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp or you can call 1-800-395-HELP. At the website all you have to do is type in your zip code and a list of centers will appear. Just call the center and tell them that you need a free pregnancy test run. They will be happy to help you.
Even if you are pregnant, you are not alone and there is all kinds of support available to you. The place that I referred you to able can help you out with all your baby’s needs if necessary. If you are pregnant, I know you can do it all by yourself. You’re a Stand Up Girl. Plus everyone here supports you.
But you wanna know what I think? I think you need to stop havin’ sex with your boyfriend – seriously. It is giving you nothing but troubles. Is having a sexual relationship with you boyfriend
working well for you? It seems that it is not a good time for you
to be pregnant. Why have sex? Ya, it feels good for a minute, but
the consequences will last a life time. Why not wait until you are
married? Give some consideration to waiting. It pays off. That’s what I’m doing.Hey Vicky,
Well, I would guess that you are not at a high risk of pregnancy. However, if the guy you were with had semen on his hands when he fingered you, then you may have a chance for pregnancy.The only way to know for sure if you are pregnant is to take a pregnancy test. Here is a link to a website that can run a free and confidential pregnancy test for you. http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp or you can call 1-800-395-HELP. At the website all you have to do is type in your zip code and a list of centers will appear. Just call the center and tell them that you need a free pregnancy test run. They will be happy to help you.
I can tell that you are flipping out right now. I don’t blame you and I think I would be too. But you know, life is a series of lessons. You may have messed up on this one, but I believe there is something valuable you can learn from this. Sex (or sexual activities) outside of marriage are not as enjoyable as they might seem. But I could be way out of line here. You may have been pressured to do this with him against your will. If that is the case, you should tell someone what happened. Don’t let him get away with this. He’ll just do it again if you don’t take a stand. Stay far away from him, and always be aware of your surroundings, so this does not happen again.
April
