queenB

Hello!
Thanks for posting. It sounds like you have some friends who really care about you. I’m sorry if they have not been constructive with their words, though. At the end of the day, at least your friends have been honest with you and not just told you what you wanted to hear.

Having an abortion is not easy emotionally or physically. The physical recovery varies depending upon how far along you are and what type of procedure you have. The emotional recovery is what can really be the most difficult part in some instances.

Since you have asked for advice on how to cope, I am happy to share with you. The emotional effects after an abortion can range from mild to severe. Many women say they experience regret, anxiety, depression, guilt, and more. I have spoken with women who regret their abortion 30 years afterward. One time I spoke with a man who regretted his girlfriends abortion decades ago. A friend of my had her abortion in February and every year she goes through a cycle of depression and not being able to get out of bed because the date of her abortion and the lost of her child upsets her.

However, there are post abortion recovery groups that you can join. They are free and confidential support groups in which women meet in a safe environment and work through the emotional effects of their abortion. I have spoken with women who have had great success in these groups. To find a free support group in your area, just go to http://www.optionline.org.

Though many have had success in post abortion support groups, most would agree that if you have the choice whether or not to have your abortion, you should not do it. If you have the chance to save the life of your child now, you should take that step out of love. No one says that being a mother is an easy thing to do, but it is one of the most rewarding.

It sounds like you are thinking of an abortion because you have financial concerns (no job, no car, etc.). Pregnancy resource centers are located across the United States and they help with all of their pregnancy needs for free. They offer clothing for your baby, diapers, bottles, formula, and more. You are not alone and if you want to choose life for your baby you can! The resources are available to you for free. To find the pregnancy resource center that is closest to you, just go to http://www.optionline.org.

Let us know if you have more questions or need more help.

Hi Hailey,
Thanks for posting. Whenever you have sex there is always a chance for pregnancy. A really good way to tell if you may be pregnant is to take a pregnancy test. Let me refer you to a pregnancy resource center. They are located across the United States and the world and they can give you a free and confidential pregnancy test. Just go to http://www.optionline.org, type in your zip code, and find the center that is closest to you. They will be happy to give you a free test! Let us know if you have more questions.

Hi Adrinene,
I’m sorry that you’re going through this right now. Anyone in your position would be really scared and nervous too. There isn’t much you can do before you take the test, but they are generally accurate about 7 to 10 days after sex, so you might be able to take it sooner than you think.

I have no idea if you’re pregnant or not, but no matter what happens you will be able to get through it. If you are pregnant, your life is not over–a new life is just beginning. Write us back and let us know how your test turns out. We’re here to help no matter what.

Hi Bethany,
Thanks for posting. It sounds like you don’t really want to have an abortion. I agree it is quite sickening to think about. I know that your circumstances aren’t good for a child right now, but why make a decision based on your circumstances? Circumstances change and our situations change. No one knows the future and no one knows how things might look different for you even a week from now. Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to. Remember this is your body and your choice. Don’t let your circumstances dictate your choice!

If you know you don’t want to have an abortion, there is no reason to put yourself through this. Love yourself and love your child!

Let me refer you to a pregnancy resource center. They are located across the United States and can help you with your pregnancy needs for free. There is literally no charge for taking their help and everything is confidential. So you have nothing to lose. To find a pregnancy resource center, just go to http://www.optionline.org and type in your zip code. A list of centers will appear. Call any one of them and tell them what you told us. They will be happy to help you and so glad you called.

I sounds like you think you might be pregnant? Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? That really is the best way to know. If you would like a free and confidential pregnancy test, you can go to optionline.org or call 1-800-712-HELP and they can direct you to a pregnancy resource center that can give you a free test. If you are pregnant, we are here to help you! Let us know!

Hey Hannahbell,
Knowing whether or not to get the father involved is a difficult situation. If you want to receive child support from him, you’ll have to tell him eventually. But if you decide to tell him, make sure you are comfortable doing so. Make a plan! If you think he might hurt you, tell him over the phone. If you think he will yell at you and call you names when you tell him, send him an email. Spend some time really thinking it through and make a plan of action. After you give him the information, it is his decision how he wants to react to it. Many times people don’t react well initially; however, with time they come around.

Hang in there! We’re always here for you at Stand Up Girl!

Hey Jen,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so glad that you got involved in this Bible study at church. Abortion is hard, but I am glad to see that you are on the road to recovery!

I’m not a doctor and I certainly can’t diagnose you, but it sounds like you might be pregnant. It is understandable that you are TERRIFIED right now. Everyone who has gone through this has had similar feelings to you. I just want you to know that, while you are probably in shock right now, it will wear off and you will be able to handle this with a clear head.

You will be able to get through this. Have you had time to consider your options for your pregnancy? When you are ready, I suggest that you check out http://www.optionline.org. You can get a lot of great information about unexpected pregnancy and you can also find free help in your area.

What is your relationship with your parents like? Do you think you could tell your parents that you had a positive pregnancy test? You don’t have to do that right now, I just wanted to help you begin to think things through.

For now, just try to let the news sink in. Take time, pray, and consider talking to a close friend that you can trust.

Thanks for posting and sharing some of your story.

I’m glad that you’re going to the doctor to get a pregnancy test. If you would like to take a free pregnancy test, you can go to http://www.optionline.org. Just type in your zip code and click search. A list of pregnancy resource centers will appear. Just call the center and tell them that you would like to come in for a a free pregnancy test. They will be happy to help you.

If you are pregnant, dealing with family can be difficult. There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries if you do not feel that your mom and grandma are not treating you well. That doesn’t mean that you have to cut them out, but it may mean having a discussion with them and telling them how they are making you feel.

Statistically speaking, it is best for a child to be raised in marriage. It creates stability that a “live-in” situation does not create. You can read more about this here: http://americanvalues.org/pdfs/why_marriage_matters2.pdf.

However, marriage is no easy decision because many marriages end in divorce. It is worth having a discussion with your boyfriend and weigh out the pros and cons.

Unfortunately I do not know whether or not you’re pregnant. The best way to find out is by taking a pregnancy test. If you would like to get a free test, just go to: optionline.org, enter your zip code, and you will see a list of pregnancy resource centers. Just call the one that you would like to go to and tell them that you need a free pregnancy test. They will be happy to help you and so glad that you called!

Hi Steve,
That is a good question and something that ought to be addressed with your doctor. Unfortunately, no one here is a medical professional that could give you a proper answer. Sorry.

Hey girl,
I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is obvious that your heart is very torn up. It’s ok. Even though this is hard you will be able to get through it.

You know, if just thinking about an abortion makes you cry now, just imagine how you will feel after you get an abortion. Having an abortion will not solve your problems, most likely it will only add to them. I think you need to listen to yourself and not put yourself through something that you already know you don’t want to do. Abortion is a permanent decision, and if you make that choice, there is no going back.

Being a mother would be difficult and it is understandable that you don’t want to have a “tie” to this guy. But, you know, sometimes doing the right thing is hard. I think that you can be a mother to your child. I think that you can do this. Your life with a child might look different than what you had expected, but different is not bad. Different can be better than you originally thought.

I think that you can do this.

Hey Karma,
I read your post and I just wanted to tell you, I like the advice you gave and I think that you should keep your baby as well.

I am really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is threatening to leave if you do not choose abortion. I think that he is putting in a really bad choice. The truth of the matter is, this is YOUR choice. Don’t let someone pressure you to do what they want. Be a Stand Up Girl and stand up for what you want.