Meg11

To Anakie, Sweetie, you are speaking of your baby in past tense…you still have that precious life inside of you and NO ONE can make you abort, NO ONE….you can get a restraining order if you are afraid of the dad, that is what I did when I got pregnant with my first, he told me “the baby is not mine and I hope you and it die” I took that word of mouth to the Judge and I was given a restraining order, simple as that….here is a number to call for some help in your decision making, 1-800-395-HELP, they will help you for FREE and keep it CONFIDENTIAL, I can hear the tone of your voice and the feeling in your heart even though it is just words on a screen, you want this baby, this is your baby, and you know what, unlike many girls it is not too late, you still have him/her snug and warm, safe and sound….sweetie, do not take it for granted that you are still pregnant and don’t have the money, there is a purpose in this….how far along are you? Please write me back, I would love to help you find any info out there that could help you stay safe, secure, fed, clothed, warm and most of all pregnant!! I have been in the shoes you are wearing, it was hard at first but then someone came along and helped me find the resources I had no idea about and it helped a lot, let me be that person for you…Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com

Yes, email her anytime, she is pretty good about checking her mail often….I understand that it will be hard to live with but if I can encourage you in something it might help a little…see, I have never had an abortion but I have done so many wrong things that have affected my life in a negative way, and others lives as well…I too have to live with those regrets some physical and some emotional and spiritual…One of the things I regret most is that a few weeks before my mom committed suicide she had asked me to sleep with her and snuggle, I said no, I was hoping that a guy I really liked who was staying at the house would want to sleep with me and I knew it was not possible if I was not in my own bed….how horrid and disgusted and selfish I feel to this day, my mom had just lost her fiance in a car accident, she was the driver, she was feeling so lonely and guilty and all she wanted was someone to hold her, I feel awkward for posting this, this is the first time I have told ANYONE, not even my husband why I didn’t go to her room with her, it is because I still feel so sick to my stomach over my shallow, selfish and disgusting actions….it feels kind of good to get it off of my chest though and that is why I shared this with you, you are not alone in your regrets, your guilty feelings, the mistakes of your past….yours is still recent where as the one I just shared was almost 8 years ago…the only thing that has helped me is forgiveness, it is so much easier to ask God to forgive you and accept His forgiveness, which is so important to do, than to forgive yourself and that is something that I hope and pray you will be able to do sooner than later…just like I cannot go back and hold my mom, comfort her and put her first over some shallow, lustful want, you cannot go back and change what happened on the 15th, what you can do is learn from it, use your scars and wounds to help others not go down the same road, be vulnerable and honest and be there for others who hurt also….I hope this helps a little bit, I am here for you and I have many scars that I would love to share with you in hopes that you can find healing and love for yourself again!! Hang in there Sweetie….Love Meg

First off, I love your user name, my name for 24 years was Meagan Maye!!…LOL Now I am married but people still use my maiden name all the time….hehehehe, so anyways if this guy is 43 and has the maturity of a 12 year old boy I would not let him have the baby alone at all until he has been through some parenting classes, he can get free classes at a local Pregnancy Resource Center and even earn, “baby bucks” for baby needs like diapers…win win situation there, 1-800-395-HELP, this is a number to call to find a local center near you…If I were you I would stop “hooking up” all together, you have obviously given him your heart and he is tugging on it and that is wrong, right now you cannot get pregnant because you are pregnant but once baby is born if you keep hooking up with him you could get pregnant again and then things could get really messy, I think you are going to be a great mommy….I would consider not putting him on the birth certificate and working out a private child support agreement so that if he were to run with baby he would not have the legal right (him not being on the certificate) and if he is immature enough to not have a clue on how to raise a child (even parents who hate each other know that you have to work together for the benefit of the child, consistency etc) then he may not catch that little detail and with him being 43 he should be stable enough to out of pocket help you with child support….I have 3 kids with 3 dads, 2 of them were out of wedlock, at any time they could show up and take my kids and disappear and legally I could do nothing because they are on the birth certificate, we were never married therefore we were never divorced and have nothing in writing….it might be a good idea to go in together to a Pregnancy Resource Center for counseling to get advice on how you two should work this out but for sure make him prove that he will be a good parent before you give him alone time…also guard your heart, remember to put you and baby before your feelings for him, sounds like he is not the kind of guy who is in to solid commitment and you deserve better….Love Meg

Hey there, I saw your post and it made me reflect on my past…see I was a pregnant Christian as well. I was already a single mom and I was everyone’s “victory child” I was the lost sinner that turned to the Lord and I was the well known answer to everyone’s prayers. I had been attending church on a regular every time the door was open basis, I was getting involved in the small group bible studies and I was learning and growing so much. I ended up running into a guy I had been with before I was saved and it didn’t feel wrong or bad to sleep with him, after all we had already been together like that so it wasn’t like I was sleeping with some random person. One night I was at church and a man got up and started praying and leading us in worship and I felt like a ton of bricks fell on me, I felt the Lord tell me that I needed to quit looking for a guy/settling for a guy who may someday decide to go to church with me but decide to wait and save myself for the kind of guy who I was hearing in that moment, someone who loved Him and would go to church without me. It was just a couple of weeks later that I found out I was pregnant and I felt like I was hopeless, no one would ever want to be with me now, I had two kids from two dads. One day at church a woman came up to me all excited and asked me when I got married, I looked at her confused thinking she mistook me from behind for someone else, I told her, I didn’t get married, then she looked at me turned red and said, I am so sorry, I thought you were pregnant….I looked at her and said, I am…it was embarrassing and I wanted to run and hide and cry but I didn’t, I stood strong in the Lord, knowing that I had done wrong but that I was forgiven, God gave me children when He could have allowed me to get AIDS…children are a blessing not a punishment and rather than feeling like a total failure and let down I had to soberly choose to see myself as blessed rather than cursed and trust that the Lord was going to carry me through….were my friends disappointed in me, yeah, did they still love me, yes, no one could have made me feel more convicted than I made myself feel, I made the choice to not have sex again until I was married and I didn’t, I spent my time as a single mom taking in studies and learning more about the kind of Christian I wanted to be, not a judgmental, holier than thou, hypocrite, but the kind of Christian who knows what it is like to stumble and sin and repent and learn from it and use my errors to help others grow and hopefully choose the better route than I had for so long, you are at a fork in the road, you can live in defeat and shame or you can cling to the One who has already forgiven you, Who has already bought your sin and Who wants you to Stand Up for Him and be proud of who you are in Him, so you messed up, we all have, just hang in there and walk this out, there will be some hard times, some ups and downs but if God is for you who can be against you? I am here for you anytime you need a sister to talk to and just to leave you with a little encouragement, the man I mentioned who was praying and singing when I was praying and wanting to change my life…he is now my husband!! Hang in there…Love Meg

Sweetie as hard as it is you need to put emotions and feelings on the side, I want you to take a few minutes to just breathe, clear your mind of your boyfriend, take him out of the picture, cast the fears aside for a time and reflect on the ultrasound image, see that heartbeat flicker, hear that noise like horses galloping, YOUR baby is warm, safe and floating around in peace and comfort inside of you right this moment, don’t you hate it when you go camping and you are so warm inside of your sleeping bag and you have to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, the cold air hits your warm body and you go into shock, the interruption of that comfort and peace is not very nice to experience, right now your baby is warm and safe and thoroughly enjoying the soothing sound of your heartbeat and the gentle rocking of your movements, when you give birth your baby he/she may feel that cold disruption like when you get out of that warm sleeping bag but when you take baby in your arms and swaddle him/her it makes it all better, abortion doesn’t allow that, not only will baby be torn from the safety and comfort of your body but you will have that same disruption in your body as well, you will feel cold and empty and you will not have that precious life to swaddle in your arms…you will wonder for the rest of your life if the baby was a boy or a girl, eye color, who’s genetics would be dominant in the features, what would it sound like to be called mama and what would baby’s voice sound like….so as you take all other distractions and emotions and put them aside place your hands on your tummy, feel the life inside of you and cast the fears aside, this is not about your boyfriend, this is YOUR baby, not just his and you need to protect this little life with all that is in you….Love Meg

Hey there, it can be really hard to keep track of birth control…even when you take it “perfectly” there is still a chance of becoming pregnant so when you are ill, forget pills, take other medications, etc, it can increase the failure risk of the birth control, what I would recommend is that you completely abstain from having sex at least until you see your doctor and get yourself situated and know for sure that you are not pregnant, it would be best to just chose to remain abstinent until you are married and ready for children….go ahead and make an appointment to see your doctor and discuss any cares or concerns you have….Love Meg

Hey there sweetie!! I just saw your post and wanted to drop you a line and reassure you that by keeping YOUR baby, you are doing the right thing….I had that same fear with my first child, pregnant at 19, he wanted me to have an abortion, broke up with me and all. I gave it some serious thought but ultimately kept my daughter who is now in 2nd grade and so smart. I raised her by myself for 4 1/2 years, no family around, no child support, it was hard but I made it, I even had another baby when she was 2 1/2 so I had 2 on my own for 2 years….I knew that giving my children the opportunity to live, smile, feel, breathe, eat ice cream, run, feel grass on their bare feet, etc…without a dad was better than living with a lifetime of regret due to abortion, my kids do have a dad now, I am married to a wonderful man and if I have such a great guy and I had two on my own, your chances are even higher than mine…LOL…this is not about relationships, this is not about marriage, this is not about fear, this is about another human being, this human being happens to be occupying your womb at the moment and cannot make it outside of your womb for at least another few months, this child will grow up to be an adult, maybe will hold the cure for cancer or aids in that amazing mind that is developing inside of you at this moment….this is not about your boyfriend, petty threats of his, this is about YOU, YOUR CHILD, and the FUTURE that is forever changed whether you keep the baby or have an abortion, your life will never be the same, it can have a turn for the better with some ups and downs but ultimately be blessed by watching your child grow and live life or you can live the rest of your life wondering who this child would have been, boy or girl, eye color, favorite colors, I am here for you and I hope things get easier for you, just give it a few more days and you will be feeling your little one thumping around on your bladder…it is the most amazing feeling in all the world….please let me know what you are thinking and what you plan on doing….Love Meg

Hey Amy, my name is Meg and I just saw your post and wanted to encourage you to do what you already know is right, keep this baby, he/she is a part of you and it sounds like you understand exactly what abortion is and what it will do to you, do not let him push you into it, I say go with your instinct and do not have an abortion…we are all here for you and I can help you find tons of resources out there to make this time easier for you but the struggles you may go through in this time are far fewer than the life long struggles and regret you will live with from having an abortion…I am here for you!! Love Meg

Hey Sweetie, My name is Meg, yes our world is in a horrible financial state and there may be some struggles but stop, take a time out, some deep breaths and imagine your baby’s first smile…it takes more than money to raise a child, it sounds like you are on track to have a husband soon and that you have overcome hurdles in your past, you know the pain that comes with abortion, do you really want to experience that again? This is the time to Stand Up, time to experience motherhood and don’t sweat the money issues…There are so many programs available, there are pregnancy resource centers, you can earn “baby bucks” or “mommy money” and you can use them to buy diapers and clothes, even maternity clothes and furniture….you can find a local center by calling this number, 1-800-395-HELP, there are also food banks, clothing closets, second hand stores, consignment shops, etc…I have found some great, hardly used things at these type of places in the past…also baby showers are a great way to stock up on things…I never had to buy my kids clothes until they hit ages 3-4 and up, that is a long time to get more stable, if you have friends with kids you can circulate clothes, I am the self proclaimed queen of making ends meet in difficult circumstances…I use half the laundry soap needed, wear my clothed more than once if they are still clean, give the kids baths one after the other to save water, buy generic foods and spruce them up, etc…there are so many ways to make it happen and I know you want to keep this baby and do just that, make it happen…you can and will if you look deep inside yourself and find that inner strength that I know you have….this is not up to your family, or even your fiance…this is YOUR baby, this is your precious gift, your second chance that some women never get…please don’t take this little life for granted….I a here if you want to talk or have any more questions, please let me know what you are going to do and keep in touch…Love Meg

Hey there Alana, we actually have a lot in common…I was told at a young age that I had endometriosis and that I would never have kids, I even got a huge tattoo on my stomach because I figured it would never stretch out…LOL…bad idea…anyways after years of sleeping around, unprotected I never got pregnant and I had no fear of becoming pregnant…when I was 19 I met a guy and we “fell in love” and he was just all that and a bag of potato chips, until a month or so into the relationship, he also was a heavy drinker and when he was drunk he was really verbally and emotionally abusive…I was on the verge of leaving him, just waiting for the “love” to die down enough to make it easier for both of us when I found out I was pregnant, I was in shock, I made the nurse do 3 tests…he instantly said abortion and I was all for it, I did not want to be stuck with him for the rest of my life…I told my mom and sister and they told me not to get an abortion so I ultimately decided not to…we broke up and I had a horrible pregnancy, I never really bonded with her while she was in my womb, I didn’t even find out her sex until birth….I even lost my mom to suicide while I was pregnant and that was horrible to say the least, if I had gotten the abortion I cannot tell you where I would be today if I would even be alive…my child gave me hope to make it through….someone to live for…anyways her dad and I got back together when she was 3 weeks old and he became controlling and abusive again really quickly, I eventually left him a year later and he has not seen our daughter in over 4 years, she is now 7 and in 2nd grade….I did not have an easy road as a single mom but I tell you what, it was much easier than living with guilt wondering, boy or girl, what if, and so on…I look back at my times of being a single mom (4 1/2 years, two of them with 2 kids on my own) and I miss those times, I am very thankful for how my life has turned out but there was also something very special about that time, the miracles that happened, finding money in my mail box, food on my doorstep, etc…I was not alone even when I felt like it, I had a family even though it didn’t always feel complete…I am now married to a wonderful man who loves me and treats me like untarnished gold despite what my past was like, he loves my kids and they call him daddy, I personally feel that you should leave the abuser and go it alone with your little family, you and baby will make it just fine, if he straightens up then yes there is room for second chances but it sounds like you have a supportive family and you are a grown woman, you can do this…your baby is a very precious gift, neither of us should have had the opportunity to have kids, we both had now had the chance, me 3 times, this is your time, your first, what are you going to do with this amazing opportunity that is awaiting? This is YOUR child, flesh and blood, someone you have longed to meet all these years and thought you never would…do not take this child’s life into your hands, trust him/her in the hands of the One who will carry you through the tough times and give blessings where least expected….this child is worth it, so are you, do not rob yourself of motherhood….I am here if you want to talk more but please do not go to your appointment, I am praying for you and I know you will make the right choice, I am anxiously awaiting your reply so that I can celebrate this pregnancy with you….Love Meg

Well sweetie, at least you didn’t find out how big of a jerk he is further down the road when the break up would have hurt that much more…hang in there and please know that you are not alone, this baby needs you, this is your little ones sibling and this could be the event in your life that makes all the difference, what you do will affect you for the rest of your life, make sure it is a good effect, a positive thing that you can look back on and wonder why it seemed so terrifying, you will pull through and one day when the storm has settled, and it will, you will have your kids (and probably a great guy) by your side and you will know that you are a true Stand Up Girl and that you did the right thing….please don’t look at the mountain in front of you but listen to that still small voice within you saying, you can do this!! Love Meg

Hey Sweetie! It sounds like you need to call the cops, You are 17 and you are a mother, in many places you are considered an adult because of the combination of those two facts. Your parents cannot forbid their father to see them, they cannot force you to give them custody, they cannot force you to stay in their house and they cannot forbid you from taking YOUR kids. I am unsure of where you live but in America there is usually some branch of Adult and Family Services, you can find a phone number in the phone book in the government pages…they can usually assist with free legal help and I think that is what you need. You can go to a shelter or stay with a friend until you can get situated on your own, unless you are into drugs (doesn’t sound like it) your parents really have no leverage with the courts…it sounds like you need to get away from them and completely cut yourself off until maybe later down the road when hopefully they will have let go of their heavy handed control over you, also it takes two to tango, if you are being controlled that means you are allowing it, you need to break free, this is not healthy for you, babies, their dad, or your parents….please find some legal help and gt out of their, if you have to have the cops there to help you get your babies then that is what you need to do…Love Meg