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Allie,
It is possible that your cycle could just be irregular. I had a pregnancy scare several years ago where it had been two months since my last period. I took a test and it was negative, but I was still scared that I was pregnant and confused why I hadn’t gotten my period. I set up an appointment with the college health center. Luckily I was not pregnant and my period started not too much later. However, if you have been having unprotected sex there is a chance that you might be pregnant. It may have been too early to detect the hormone levels to give a positive result. I would either wait another week and take another home pregnancy test or set up an appointment to see your doctor. Also have you told youf bf you suspect you might be pregnant? Will he be supportive of you and your child if you are pregnant? My advice to you if you are not pregnant and you don’t want to be pregnant yet is to stop having unprotected sex until you are in a stable committed loving relationship and are ready for the prospect of parenthood. Good Luck.
Kate
Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? According to what I have read, if you have an average cycle you would probably be almost 12 weeks pregnant (10 weeks post-conception) and would be due in early to mid April 2006. If you think you might be pregnant you should take a test or see your doctor. If you are pregnant you should see your doctor for pre-natal care and start taking prenatal vitamins. Good luck.
Kate
Sara,
Have you taken a pregnancy test to determine if you are pregnant again? I would take a test, or even better talk to your doctor. The sooner you find out for sure the better it will probably be for you and for the baby. I don’t know if there are any other medications for your health problems that do not have birth defects. It sounds like a very difficult situation. If you are pregnant, adoption sounds like it could be a good option. Maybe you’re not pregnant at this time. I will be thinking of and praying for you!
Kate
Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2005/09/25 02:51
Ruth,
Did you just find out that you are pregnant? And you don’t know how to tell anyone and feel scared and alone? Forgetting about a positive pregnancy result will not make it go away. Neither will abortion. There are many physical and emotional consequences to abortion (read the stories posted on this site). It is not as simple of a solution as it seems on the surface. You are not alone. There are many people on this site (including me) who care very much and are willing to talk and listen whenever you need someone to talk to. I know that when I faced a couple of pregnancy scares as a teenager I felt terrified about the prospects of telling my parents. Hopefully your parents will be more supportive than you might think (some aren’t). If not, would your b/f or his family be supportive? What about other of your relatives – grandparents? Aunts/uncles? older siblings? If you belong to a church your pastor of minister might be able to help with support. Also you could contact Birthright or a crisis pregnancy center and they could help you find financial and emotional support through this tough time. Hang in there.
Kate
Those definitely sound like they could be pregnancy symptoms. You should take a pregnancy test or go to a clinic to determine if you are pregnant.
Becoming sexually active might affect your hormones somewhat, but I don’t think it would have a huge affect on your cycles or the color of the blood in your period. If you are having cycles at the regular time with regular lengths I would guess that you aren’t pregnant. However if you are concerned you could see your doctor to make sure or to see if there is any other reason for changes in your period.
Belinda,
If you were having unprotected sex, then you might be pregnant. It sounds like you may be having early pregnancy symptoms, and the spotting could be implantation bleeding. Don’t panic, but do take a pregnancy test to find out. It might be too early to tell, so if it is negative I would take another test in a week to double check. Have you told your bf that you are worried you might be pregnant? If you are not both ready to face the prospect of parenthood I would reccomend not having unprotected sex. Good luck.
Kate
I haven’t read anything specific about bronchitis and pregnancy. I doubt that it would have any long term effects on the baby. I would talk to your doctor or ob/gyn to see if they could give you medication to treat the bronchitis that would be safe for the baby or if they have any specific advice as to how to take care of yourself (and baby) while you are sick. Hope you get better soon.
I haven’t read anything specific about bronchitis and pregnancy. I doubt that it would have any long term effects on the baby. I would talk to your doctor or ob/gyn to see if they could give you medication to treat the bronchitis that would be safe for the baby or if they have any specific advice as to how to take care of yourself (and baby) while you are sick. Hope you get better soon.
Kristin,
Congratulations!!! I’m glad your labor went well and your little girl is doing okay. My aunt had my newest cousin this week, Maggie. She was born 6 weeks early by emergency cesarian section and only wieghed 4 pounds. She is in the NICU for at least 3 weeks but it sounds like she is doing well for a premie. I hope you get to take your daughter home soon. Congratulations again. I’d love to see a picture.
Kate
I think the reactions to birth control can vary from woman to woman. I had reactions and spotting with the first type of birth control pill that I was on so they switched me to a different one. I didn’t have spotting or an early period when I stopped taking the birth control, but I have heard of it happening. The birth control pill changes and regulates your hormones. Once you change back there are bound to be a few irregularities in your cycle. Your cycle should be more regular after a few cycles (assuming that your cycle was regular before you started taking birth control – mine wasn’t). I wouldn’t worry about the bleeding and spotting, but if you are concerned you could always ask your doctor.
KiraJade,
I can understand how you feel like you want to be pregnant again after you lost your baby. However I wouldn’t advise trying to get pregnant just to fill up the emptiness and lonliness that you feel from your abortion. I dropped out of college for a while after I was going through some severe depression. Since most of my relatives are college graduates I felt like a failure. Also more than that I felt like I had failed myself. It took 8 years from start to finish, and it was difficult because I was working full time and taking classes also but I managed to make it through and graduate and I am now in grad school. Your future children will love and respect you no matter what and you are not a failure either way. I would focus on college and building up yourself. You will make a great mother someday, but I would wait to try to get pregnant again until you are in a loving and stable relationship with a husband who will be there for you and your family. If you ever need to talk I am here.
Kate
Cheyenne,
Being pregnant can be a frightening prospect even in the best of circumstances. I can understand how you feel. When I was a teenager I had a couple of pregnancy scares and I wasn’t sure what I would do. I am a little farther along than 2 months (@ 18 weeks). I had my first ultrasound yesterday and was able to see my little baby moving around on the screen. It was incredible. Once I saw it there was no doubt that this was a tiny little baby!
Does your family and your boyfriend know about the pregnancy? Are they being supportive? If you really want to have the baby don’t let anyone else force or pressure you to have an abortion. There are other options. You could consider adoption. If you choose to look for an open adoption you can have some contact with your child. Many agencies will pay for costs of pregnancy and delivery. If decide to raise the child yourself there are many resources out there to help.
Before you decide to have an abortion take a look at the ultrasound of your baby and read the stories on this site about girls who are dealing with the pain grief and regrets of abortion. It may seem like the easiest choice, but it is more complicated than that. Hang in there. Best Wishes.
Kate
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure that it will reach other girls in a similar situation and hopefully cause then to rethink about going through with an abortion. I am sorry you had to go through such a painful experience. Perhaps going to post-abortion counseling such as project rachel may help you to deal with some of the grief. Also there are several other girls here who have gone through similar experiences and are dealing with similar feelings. Perhaps talking with them will help. While unfortunately it isn’t possible to go back and change the past, remember that God forgives and loves you no matter what you have done. It is great that you have learned a lesson for the future and want to share your story with others as well.
Hi, just a quick update. I went to the doctor and she said that it was ok that I haven’t gained much weight yet. Also I got to see my baby on my first ultrasound and it was normal size for the stage of development and seemed to be healthy.
My husband is still smoking. If anyone has any advice for partners of someone trying to quit it would be great. Maybe I’ll never know exactly what happened a few months ago, but if anyone has had a similar experience or could explain what the heck that was it, I would appreciate it. Thanks!
Well it turned out to be just one baby, and about the right size and development for the estimated stage. I’m not sure what was up with the blood tests. I felt both disappointed and relieved at the same time to find out it was not twins. The thought of twins was exciting but I wasn’t sure how I would cope with double the time and especially double the expenses. It was exciting to get to see my baby moving around on the screen. I haven’t really begun to feel movement yet, so this made the pregnancy seem more real. I found out what I’m having too 😉 but I think that we will keep the gender under wraps to be a surprise for everyone else.
It is so nice to hear about grandparents who will help and support their pregnant daughters and unborn children. Your daughter is lucky! I’m not sure how to go about legal matters relating to child support. Have you contacted a local crisis pregnancy center or birthright? Perhaps they might be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck and best wishes. Kate
I’m sorry to hear that the child’s father ran off and hasn’t had any contact with his son. Does he at least pay some child support? I am very lucky to have a very loving and supportive husband who is sticking by my side through my pregnancy. Unfortunately you are not alone. In many cases the father runs off and doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions. I admire your strength as a single mother. You must be proud of your son.
Jennifer,
You’re about at the same stage in pregnancy that I am :). If you miss your family you could call them and tell that you love them and miss them. You could also move back home. That might help ease tensions with your boyfriend also. I am glad that your boyfreind is bieng supportive of the pregnancy. Mood swings are common in pregnancy. I have probably been more emotional too and it seems like my husband is more moody as well (not sure how that works). Have you talked with your boyfriend about how you have been missing your family and feeling lonely? Hang in there!
Kate
Jessica, I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s reaction. Facing pregnancy is tough enough especially when you feel all alone. Hang in there. Do you have any friends or relatives that could provide emotional support? Do you belong to a church? If so the pastor might be able to help direct you to helpful resources. You could contact a local crisis pregnancy center or birthright and they should be able to help. Even if your bf is not there for you you could press for him to provide child support if you decide to raise the child yourself. If you decide to give the baby up for adoption many agencies will cover expenses of pregnancy and delivery. You could see about applying for medicaid and/or WIC benefits. Also like Jonluver said there are poeple here that care. I am also here to listen and talk anytime you feel alone. Best Wishes. Kate
Jaja, if there was a second blue line, even if it was faint – it sounds like you might be pregnant. I would take another home pregnancy test in the next few days – First Response worked best for me. If the results are unclear again you might contact the doctor and have a blood test done. It can detect smaller levels of the HCG hormone. Best wishes. Kate
Kathryn,
I’d definitely like to keep in touch! Maybe you could give me some pointers on how to get through pregnancy/labor/parenthood since you’ve been through this before. I’m too if you want to talk and share experiences. Please keep in touch.
Kate
Okay. I’m sorry that I misunderstood. I don’t know how you should bring up the topic with your bf. If he brings up the subject of getting rid or your son’s baby monitor you can share with him why you are feeling reluctant and sad. It doesn’t seem like this is affecting him on as deep of an emotional level. I would guess that his reaction would probably be similar to before. At least he would know how you are feeling though. I would still reccommend that you seek post-abortion counseling. I haven’t personally gone through the pain of an abortion, but I have heard that it can help to deal with some of the emptiness, pain, and grief. There have been many times that I wish I could go back in the past and change the past. Unfortunately it isn’t possible to undo the abortion, but you can learn from the experience and you can focus on being the best possible mother to your son and to any future children you have. Best wishes.
Annie,
It sounds like you are a good friend. Has your friend actually taken a pregnancy test to determine if she is pregnant? You could go with her to buy and take a pregnancy test to find out. If she is pregnant I would advise her to come to this site and look at the consequenses of abortion before she decides to have one. Also if your friend is not pregnant and knows that she does not want to be pregnant at this point in her life she could consider waiting to have sex until she is ready for the responsibility of the consequences of pregnancy. She will need emotional support. Don’t turn against her or judge her for her decisions, but try to persuade her that there are other options besides abortion.
Kate
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/09/12 22:58
Rose,
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Don’t rush into any decision quickly and rashly. Take a good look and pray about the options.
1. While it is true that it is ideal for children to be raised in a family with a loving relationship between a mom and dad it is not best for you, your children or your boyfriend if you rush into marriage just because of a pregnancy. Marriage can be wonderful, but you must both be ready and willing to make that committment. Even if you are not married your bf can still be involved both emotionally and financially in your child’s life. This might be another chance to prove that you can be a good mom and to get custody of your son back.
2. Abortion may seem like an easy solution, but it is more complicated than it seems on the surface. I have never had an abortion, but I have met women who have strong regrets and pain from past abortions. Before you go through with an abortion please read the stories from other girls who have gone through the same experiences in the forums and Dear Becky letters. Also please look and see how developed your baby already is. I hope and pray that this may change your mind.
3. In your case it sounds like adoption may be the best option. Some agencies will cover the costs of pregnancy and delivery. You could look for an open or closed adoption situation and could possibly even choose your baby’s adoptive parents. I can’t guarantee this route will be easy. I can tell how much you miss your son, since your ex-bf has custody. However at least you can still (I’m assuming) see him from time to time and know that he is alive, healthy and happy. You can still show him that you love him.
If you choose abortion you will ALWAYS miss the child that you will NEVER get to see or share love with. I won’t judge you for the decision you make, but I hope and pray that you think very seriously before having an abortion. I will pray for you and your children.
Kate
