Child support/Advice

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      I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to go about getting the procedures started on getting child support. The situation is my daughter is pregnant (4 months) and we couldn’t be happier. 🙂 The problem is the father is refusing to take any responsibility for his aactions. He doesn’t want any contact with her or the child. He has stated he wants to sign away his rights as a father. The problem is we all know how expensive it can be to rasie a child and she is going to need the financial help. I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to go about getting this started and when you should do it? Are there people that can help with this (without having to spend a small fortune)? We are in Texas. I would appreciate any advice you can give. If you have been in this same situation, please share your story with me. Thanks, HG


        It is so nice to hear about grandparents who will help and support their pregnant daughters and unborn children. Your daughter is lucky! I’m not sure how to go about legal matters relating to child support. Have you contacted a local crisis pregnancy center or birthright? Perhaps they might be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck and best wishes. Kate


          i’m not too sure how it all works out to tell you the truth. however, i dont think there is much that you can do if he chooses to sign away his parental rights. i do wish you the best of luck.


            Well the first thing that the county will tell you is that they can’t do anything until the baby is born (which really sucks!) Second, if he wants to sign his rights over, he may have a hard time. In Minnesota (where I’m from) a father can’t sign his rights over unless there is someone else that is willing to adopt the baby and there are a few other scenarios. The reason for that makes sense–they don’t want to have to provied funding for the child if the father isn’t responsible for that. Sorry if this was kinda confusing. I hope this helped and feel free to e-mail me with anymore quesions. Good luck!


              Hey HG!

              I would definatley call your state’s office of Child Support Enforcement- they may even have a website. They enforce parents who try to get out of paying their child support mostly, but they are also a good source of information about Child Support Laws in your state. I’m sure they would have someone there who would be helpful to you. Look them up in your phonebook, and if you can’t find it, call your state’s department of Human Services and ask about it. Good Luck!


                First you cant do anything till the baby is born. Then you go to the domestic relations section at your local courthouse. They will have you fill out papers for a paternity test and child support. The fee is usually about $45. For this you need the fathers full name, address, social security number, and his parent’s names and address. If he works you will also need the name and address of his employer. Any info you don’t have can be looked up but if you know all this it makes it speedier. Then both the father and you will get papers in the mail. These will ask for more information and then you’ll get a date for the paternity test and a court date. You will go to this and the court will rule depending on the results of the paternity test then as long as he is the father they will attach his wages and you’re all done. Now if he doesn’t pay or moves or changes jobs you might have to go back and file a modification but that will be later. Now if you want to help keep his rights to the child to a minimum then wait till you have the birth certificate (without him on it) and the social security card to file for support. If he wanted rights to the child he’d have to pay the $500 fee to change the birth certificate and go through a mountain of paperwork. Good luck. I’ve been there and its not fun but its best for the baby.


                  Hello. I have battled Support issues for a while now. I started battling them when I was 16 yrs. old, and now I’m 18 yrs. old. I can go back for support this coming November. How, I am not sure if I will… In NYS it is 17% for one child, which I have…My ex stated he made $200.00 per week, took me back to court with our lawyers stating that was too much. He was paying $35.35- before he took me back… He then stated he made $300.00 per week, and they lowered it to $28.60 per week—->>> Which I’ve been recieving in November for 2 whole years! I wish you the best of luck… I am fighting it terribly…




                    omg wow people in america have things so much harder. im from New Zealand and if the mother and father arnt together the father has to pay 22% of his yearly income to the mother and if she is not working then she can go on the single mothers benifet which my sis gets 430 a week in support from the goverment and all you have to do is go down to your local winz office which every town has and it cost you nothing, you should move to nz if you have to put up wth all that **** to get money when he also made the baby he shouldnt get a free rid, your goverment is stingey, gud luck hopeyou get what you deserve

                    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/10/17 13:28


                      Hi! Im 24 and 13 weeks pregnant .Im so happy you decided to help your daughter with her baby!My parents are helping and supporting me too and Im so thankful bout that!My story is a lil bit like your daughter’s but in my case I have told to my ex about my pregnancy and he acted like "its ok".He told me he was going to call , I told him that I didnt wanted him to return with me as a couple but i sure wanted him to be responsible bout his baby.Today Im still waiting for his call and Im very worried .I dont know what he will do!.Im looking for info aboutl child suppport on the internet and with some friends but I have to wait until I find him again.But I dont know what I would do if I had not my parents support that is so important to me.My opinion is you should check on your goverment offices in Texas and get all the info you find.I hope things will get better with your daughter!Good Luck!


                        Well to be honest it all depends where you live. Im in Canada. So here you just call maintenance enforcement. ultimitly you will have to wait until the baby is born and then have a paternity test done and then if he still refuses take him to court for child support and then if you have a good lawyer you can have court costs covered as well. BUT…do you really want your daughter to have to deal with this guy for the rest of her life? Does she really want him to be Daddy or would she rather wait like I did and raise her child and one day fall in love and FIND a real Daddy. ( you don’t even really have to look, God drops them from the sky when the time is right 🙂 )Sometimes its just not worth the money. In my case it wasn’t and I am so much happier now because I have my happy family with a mommy and a daddy and no one to take her away every other weekend or no one for me to argue with or worry about getting money from. It was really hard at first and very financially difficult and there were a lot of struggles for us. But in the end I am so happy with that decision. You can read my story if you want. I Did it on my own and we’re happy.
                        My boyfriend now shares custody with his childs mother and hes so happy to have him but the fights that go on.and the instability of going back and forth between houses and people and rules, I feel sorry for him Im glad its not the route i took.



                          Thanks for your response. My daughter decided that it wasn’t worth the threats,etc. that she was receiving if she took him in for child support. I am glad to hear that your situation worked out. I went through the same situation with my youngest child (now 19). She was two months old and I thought my world was coming to an end when her father walked away. Little did I know at the time…that was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I met the love of my life when my daughter was almost three. That was sixteen years ago and we are still together today. Each day just gets better.
                          I guess we all think we know what is best for ourselves…but someone up above may have a different plan for us. I’m sure glad he was watching over me.
                          Happy Grandma


                            If he signs his rights away there really isnt anything that you can do, go to a child support agency and ask for help.

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