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You can do anything you put your mind to. You can go onto Medicaid if you have to for health insurance. And if you want to raise a baby you are more than capable at 19 years old. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. Jessica
I used Pampers too, they are very fitting to their body and not bulky. And they do a good job of not leaking. Not sure where you are located but stores like SAM’S or COSTCO like wholesale places are much cheeper and sell in large quantity. Hope this helps and good luck. Jessica
I too was once in your shoes I ALWAYS thought about babies and wanted one in the worst way I was probably about 12 when I started feeling this way. When I was 14 I started dating who at the time seemed like the man of my dreams. When I was 15 almost 16 I found out I was pregnant and I was excited and scared at the same time. My parents forced me to have an abortion and my bf had nothing to say about it. I was devastated. Then when I was 17 almost 18, just before I graduated I found out I was pregnant again. This time I was almost positive that I was not going to let anyone talk me into an abortion this is what I always wanted. Nee dless to say my dad was very disappointed and my mom was supportive but had lots of concerns for my future and the babies future. So I went thru my pregnancy with this feeling I was doing things wrong. But I did love being pregnant and everything was fine with me and my boyfriend. I had my daughter Dec 02 and I loved being a mom. I did not go to college, so I did start working right when I found out I was pregnant to start making money. I lived with my parents for 2 years until I was 20 and decided I needed a place of our own. I bought a condo and thought life was just great. My little family was now self-sufficient in my mind for the first time ever. Fast forward like two years and I was fighting with my bf all of the time, I was outgrowing him. Funny everyone told me this would happen and I always believed he was my sole mate. He was a dad that really helped a lot in the beginning and then helped less and less and almost never played with our daughter. So June 06 we finally split and he moved away to Texas. I was very upset because he was all I knew. I felt as if because I did everything wrong the first time around that I did not deserve to get married or have more kids. That my parents would never approve of the idea. In Nov 06 I met this guy and I was not sure where it would go. It is now almost two years later and I am engaged to my sole mate. I now know what true love is and what a relationship is all about. And for the first time ever I feel as if I am doing everything the right way. That I deserve a wedding and more babies. However my daughter struggled a lot and still does that her dad is not here. She was always searching for that male attention, from friends fathers my dad etc. This process is heart breaking. Moral of the story is wait to have kids until you get married it will be well worth it. Kids to suffer from not having their mom and dad together. Truth of the matter is MOST couples that have kids as teens do not stay together and that REALLY HURTS THE CHILD. It makes them long for that other parent, not trust and get caught in the middle of it. Kids are great and I don’t regret my daughter for a second. She is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me but if I could make my fiance her biological father and was able to wait until I was married I most certainly would. Sorry for the long story but I hope it helps. JUST LOOK AT THAT LITTLE BABY THAT YOU LOVE THAT YOU WATCH ALL THE TIME AND THINK ABOUT HER BEING HEART BROKEN THAT HER MOM AND DAD WERE NOT TOGETHER. JUST WAIT IT IS WELL WORTH IT PROMISE. Jessica
Hi Ella,
I was 17 three months from turning 18 when I found out I was pregnant and I was so scared. I had an abortion when I was 16 and knew I did not want to go thru that again both physically and emotionally. I am not for or against abortion I am a firm believer it is your choice. But I am not going to lie to you and tell you that it will probably be very difficult experience emotionally. My parents and everyone around me told me I could not do it and that I was ruining my life and the babies life. I was about to graduate high school and was teaching swimming lessons on the weekends. When school ended I picked up a full time job and the swimming job. I was living with my parents and I did not have a pot to pi** in. I remember worrying how I was going to support this child and just knew I would do my best. It is not easy going thru a pregnancy that everyone was against but I did it. Once my daughter was born, everything changed both of my parents really took to her much more then I thought they would. I never once took any financial help from my parents to help with my daughter and everything has turned out great. I moved out and bought a condo at 20 and now I have my own business. Point is if you put your mind to it you can do anything. And although you think it will break your parents hearts to tell them what would hurt them more is to know that your heart is broken. Any (well any normal) parent would take the pain from their child if given the chance. You need to first decide what it is you want to do and stick to it. I wish you the best of luck, feel free to talk to me anytime.Love,
JessicaMy advice would be to stop having unprotected sex if your boyfriend does not want a baby. If you are in this dilemma that he might leave if you get pregnant why are you trying. You are putting yourself if an awful emotional dilemma. I also think it is very selfish of your boyfriend to not take any precautions and then just expect you to have an abortion if you get pregnant. You should really consider what is best for both you and a baby. It is one thing to accidently get pregnant and decide to keep the baby then plan to get pregnant when you are not really ready for one. Babies need loving parents that can support them, planning to have a baby when your not ready is not in the best interest of the child. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do but being a single mom is not easy.
Jessica
Wow…..you really are such a strong person. Don’t feel that this is your fault, im sure that due to the pregnancy she was overwhelmed by emotions. I think that is great that you are taking responsibility for your daughter and im sure Mary would be very proud. We are all here if you have any questions or need to talk. Best of luck and you are a stand up dad.
Write it all down because if your like me will forget. I had my daughter almost six years ago and I don’t remember what happened when. Time goes by fast take pictures and write everything down.
It does sound like you might be pregnant. You really should stop smoking until you find out but I know that is easier said than done. Let us know when you find out good luck.
Jessica
I think that is great that you know what you want to do and you are sticking to it. The key is to stay positive and you can do it. What other people think about you and your boyfriend is irrelevant. I do agree that it is easier on children as they get to be 3 or so to have parents that are married but you should not get married just because of the child either. Being a mom is great! It is not easy by any means but there is nothing else in the world like it. It is wonderful that your family is there for you during this time. I wish you the best of luck. Remember stay positive and everything else will work out. Jessica
When I was pregnant both times I got my period. With my daughter I got it for the first two months but I already knew I was pregnant. Jessica
If you have passed everything to adopt why not wait to see what happens, lay out a time line in your head that you and your husband agree on. Then if you are unable to adopt by then consider doing something else. I can only imagine that it is very trying to wait to have a baby but it will all work out. Be thankful you have options. You have passed everything for adoption purposes which is a plus an if that doesn’t work you can use the surrogate. I wish you the best of luck. Jessica
Parker,
I am very happy to hear that you have stopped cutting and that you are in good care. You certainly will make it thru this and anyone that tells you differently is dead wrong. I am here anytime to talk. Keep in touch and keep possitive. JessicaParker,
I am very sorry for all that you are going thru right now. I too think you should talk to the closes women to you. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Cutting is only going to complicate the situation more. Talk to someone who ever you feel close too and call the hotline numbers that Meg gave you. I know it doesn’t seem like it now this will pass I promise. I am here to talk anytime, your not alone we are all here to help.Everyone deals with this in their own way. Life is not over, it has changed but it has changed for the better. If you have a support system you are very fortunate this will allow you to go out to the movies, dinner etc and someone you trust can watch the baby. I think you will feel much different after the baby is born when you have that connection and you realize that when one door closes another one opens. I know this is easier said then done but don’t worry everything will work out. You are very lucky to have so many people that support you and everything else will fall into place. i wish you the best of luck. Jessica
I am very sorry for all you have gone thru….I am not for or against abortion just make sure this is really what you want to do. An abortion is something most will never forget and very well could change your life. Everyone is very different but I felt very empty, I was 16 and did not want to have the abortion so it was VERY difficult for me. I still think about it 8 years later. Just remember you are stronger then you think you are and don’t let anyone tell you what you have to do because in the end it will be you that lives with the decision. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do. Love, Jessica
You are exactly right…..and with that attitude you will succeed. Life is what you make of it and if you let yourself get down and are determined it is going to ruin your life it will. But the same is to be said for anything in life. You have your head on straight, stick in there are don’t let anyone get you down. Chances are your dad will come around eventually. My dad was the same exact way and I though he would never come around but he did. I wish you the best.
Jessica
Well although the having a baby and moving out on your own sounds good and all, you really need to think about the whole picture. Kids are great but if you think for a second that this is going to add to your relationship I would say your dead wrong. Kids are a challenge and to plan to take on potentially moving in with your boyfriend, continue going to school and having a baby is not advisable. If your boyfriend wants you to have his baby and you guys mean the world to one another why make your life more difficult then it needs to be before you get out of school. I know it sounds like forever but a couple of years will fly bye and if you guys were meant to be and are still together you will that much stronger. Your boyfriend will have established himself and gotten use to paying bills etc, you graduate and do whatever your heart desires. This is a decision you have to make but just make sure you consider all aspects of this. Kids are cute and all but remember there not laughing and cuddly all of the time and when they are yours there is no break at 15 is that something you are ready for? I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
Jessica
I think it does depend on the person and their determination. I know some girls personally that had kids in high school that let it change the direction there life is going. They don’t set goals or make the best of it. You can accomplish anything you want to regardless of money, age or other obstacles that are put in your way. I would never say it was easy but I made it and it has made me the person I am today. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Hang in there and enjoy each moment. Life is what you make of it.
Best of Luck,
JessicaDepending on your relationship with your parents and their personalities I would say just go for it. This is NEVER easy…….. I told my dad the first time at 16 he hit the fan and then at 18 and he hit the fan again. If this is what you want stick to it. Stand your ground and chances are your parents wont be thrilled but they will come around. Best of Luck
Jessica
It depends on your relationship with your parents. It sounds like you have done the hard part, decided what it is you want to do. Chances are your parents will come around. Sometimes it takes longer than others. Good luck.
I have a 5 year old and her father and I are no longer together. His name is on her birth certificate and although I have gone thru my fair share of problems I don’t know that I would have done it any differently if I was given the chance. However one thing I think I would have done differently was have my daughters last name the same as mine. Like it or not that is your child’s father and regardless of the relationship you have with him now or 15 years from now he is still the dad. I think it is a mothers job to make sure they make constant attempts for the child to know their father so the child or the father can never blame the lack of a relationship on the mother. This is something you need to decide. I don’t know if his name not being on the birth certificate affects child support or not so that maybe something you want to look into. And given he is the dad if his name is not on the birth certificate I would have a hard time believing that he could not take you to court, prove he is the dad and then have rights to the child.
Best of luck to you
Jessica
