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The other girls have given some very good advice, but I just thought I’d mention that just because people get married and have kids, doesn’t mean that they will be the ones to stay together. For example, my boyfriends mom has 4 kids. She got married to the oldests dad. And then they had the baby and got divorced. Then his mom got married again, had my boyfriend’s sister, and got divorced. Then his mom came back to her hometown, started dating my boyfriend’s dad, had two kids (my boyfriend and his younger sister) and then got married. And now they’ve been together over 20 years. So basically what I’m trying to say, is just because a baby is born out of wedlock, doesn’t mean you and the father will break up and if you were married it doesn’t guarantee that you would stay together.
Good luck to you hun. 🙂
Hey.
I don’t really have any good advice, but I went through something similar with my boyfriend.
See, he was dating a “friend” of mine. Me and her weren’t very good friends at the time, but still. She broke up with him and then he started dating me shortly afterwards. I was accused of stealing him, blah blah blah. My story doesn’t end too happily as me and this girl haven’t really talked since, but oh well.
But no matter what happens it’s not like you stole him. He was her EX, not her boyfriend. As long as you two are happy, that’s all that really matters. I’m sure your family will get over it eventually.
Congrats!
It’s good that you ended a relationship that you thought was going bad.
If you need someone to talk to, the girls on here are great and they’ve all been through it before.
If you want the baby, do not let anything your ex says have an effect on you.
And if you decide to keep the baby, your ex has no choice but help you out. Financially at least.
Good luck, hun. We’re all here to talk.
Just try to relax. I have also heard that after a miscarriage, your cycle could be all over the place. Just try to relax for another week or so and take another test.
Good luck
Hi hun.
To answer your question about your parents finding out if you got an abortion, the answer is yes. Since you are so young still, they would need to be informed by the clinic. Regardless, it’s not a good idea to hide it from your parents anyways. And don’t think of abortion as your only way out. You could always look into adoption. I hate to see someone your age going through this. I’m not much older, but it still is difficult. Good luck, hun.
Like my1paige said, just try to relax until your period is due. If you stress too much, that could cause your period to be late and stress you out more. It’s good that your boyfriend said he will support you if you are. What I did to (try) to keep my mind off of pregnancy was to just stay really busy. Focus on school and a favorite hobby or something like that. Sometimes when you think you are pregnant, you start getting symptoms of pregnancy that don’t really mean much. So just take it easy and keep us updated. If you ever want to talk, just sign my guestbook.
I know you are in a bad position but it is not your responsibility to tell her mother. I agree with Merla 100%. My friend told her mom I was pregnant, and her mom is best friends with my mom. Needless to say my mom found out because of my friend and I no longer talk to this friend. I will never forgive her and that’s that. It would be a different story if your friend was under 18 but she’s not.
Hi! There is no reason that you shouldn’t be excited. I had my son when I was 16 and if I didn’t have him, I would be in such a worse place in my life. I wouldn’t be finishing school and I wouldn’t be taking responsibilities for my bi-polar disorder. I’m actually pregnant with baby #2 who is also due in August. I’ll be 18 when peanut is born and I couldn’t be more excited. I have a loving boyfriend who is a great daddy and although some plans have changed, I’m still going to college. I will be waiting until my boyfriend is through college, but that’s okay with me. Don’t listen to what anyone else says about your pregnancy. As long as you and your boyfriend are happy, that’s all that matters. Good luck! If you ever wanna talk, just sign my guestbook. It would be nice to have a pregnancy buddy. 🙂
I’m going to try to help out as much as I can. As background information I’m 17, got pregnant at 16 and had my son 1 month before my 17th birthday. He is nine months old now and I am about 10 weeks pregnant with my second who is due after I turn 18. Okay, on to the questions.
1. Since I got pregnant right before my Junior year, I staying in school until 2 weeks before Aiden (my son) was born. After that I was still enrolled in my regular high school but I didn’t actually go there, I just had my boyfriend or brother bring all my homework home, I’d do it during the day, and then one of them would bring it back. I actually started my Senior back at my regular high school but I was taking 9 classes in a 7 hour day. That had nothing to do with my pregnancy though, it was just because I was a bad student my Freshman and Sophomore years. However, going to regular high school was getting stressful due to my class load, so I transfered to an Alternative High School in my area. I’m going to get my High School Equivelency Diploma (basically a GED) instead of an actual high school diploma but I will still get to walk with my class at graduation and do all that fun stuff.
2. My labor lasted 9 hours, but like Meg, I was also induced so I’m not sure how long a natural labor would have lasted. My labor was fine for about 2-3 hours and then that’s when the pain started and I don’t really remember a whole lot. lol. But before that I watched spiderman 2 and played blackjack and rummy 500 and enjoyed it a lot. Also like Meg, I didn’t tear at all and didn’t have any stiches or anything. Plus, I only pushed for 12 mins, I think.
3. A lot of women who are pregnant have those types of fears. It’s not unusal. I’m like that with this pregnancy, as I fear everything I do will cause me to have a miscarriage. So it’s completely normal. Just try not to worry too much.
4. I’m not sure about the medications, you would have to ask your doctor about that. I was on Lexapro and Ambilify (depression and bi-polar) and I had to stop taking them when I got pregnant. I do know that there are some anti-depressants you can take when pregnant, I’m just not sure which ones they are.
5. I know raw meat and raw fish are something to avoid, but I’m not sure about a whole lot else. I know you should avoid drinking caffine and aspartame.
6. Once again, I’m not so sure about this. I took my prenatals throughout my pregnancy and that was it. I didn’t breastfeed though. With this pregnancy they have not given me prenatals yet, so I’m not sure about that whole situation. I know a girl who couldn’t take prenatal vitamins because of how sick they made her.
7. I had my son circumcised and will do it for this baby if it’s a boy. I’ve heard that it really doesn’t make that much of a difference if you get it done or not because it’s not proven to lower STD risks or anything like that but a lot of people choose to do it due to religious reasons or a personal preference. The reason I got my son circumcised is mostly because his father is. The only thing that made it a little harder was that it needed special care for a little while, but it wasn’t a whole lot, just a lot of petroleum jelly to keep from sticking.
8. I wish I could answer this question but I wasn’t able to breastfeed because of my medication. I started to get post-partum and needed to get back on my medication ASAP. I am considering breastfeeding with this baby if my mood allows it, since I will be a stay at home mommy to my two little ones.
9. Well, with Aiden, the police actually told my mom (a very long story) so if you think about it, it can’t be much worse than that. My boyfriend told his mom on a car ride and she told his dad. I text my dad, which was a horrible idea, but he understood better than anyone else. With the second one, I told my mom I needed to talk to her and flat out told her. She was very angry, but since I expected it, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I just sat back and said “yes, mom” “I know mom”. Everyone else took it much better. A really helpful thing to do when you tell them is to have a plan ready. How you are going to finish high school, pay for the baby, make time for everything, etc. That’s what got my grandma through the shock of a being a great-grandma to be (again). Also, do not take people’s first reactions to heart. My grandma told me to get an abortion at first and by the time Aiden was born, she was so excited and was buying him things and now she babysits twice a week.
10. Okay, Meg explained this really well. But I’ll add that my situation was a bit different with the bleeding. My after-birth bleeding lasted 2 weeks and I got my regular period before I had my 6 week appointment. I went on birth control right after that, so my periods were very regular. And about the strech marks, I got them and I hate them but I just get over it because I have my son and they were well worth it.
I hope I helped a little bit. If you want to ask me anything else, just sign my guestbook.
Good luck:)
Congrats!
As for how a baby acts: they poop and pee and drool and cry and sleep. :laugh: But when they get older they are a lot of fun. My son is fun, but very sassy as he loves to get into everything he’s not supposed to (he’s 8 months). Even when they are really little it’s fun to watch them sleep. Good luck with everything. If you ever want to know anything from a guy’s perspective, I can talk to my boyfriend for you. He’s been there before and now we are expecting our second little one.
Congrats on deciding to keep the baby. It will definitely be worth it. As for insurance you could always apply for medicaid (in wisconsin it’s called badgercare). That’s what I’m on right now and it covers maternity. I’m not really sure about a lot of insurance stuff, but I hope that helped a little.
Hi hun,
I know telling the parents will be hard, but you will feel so much better once they know. If you are struggling with the options you have, think about it. No one can tell you what you have to do with YOUR baby. It’s your decision.If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here. I had my son at 16 and will be 18 when my next baby is born. (I’m 7 weeks along) Good luck with everything. Keep us updated.
Hi hun,
What you really need to do right now is sit back and relax. Go through all your options (pros and cons). I’m 17 and am pregnant with my second child right now (same daddy). I am handling it just fine, and I’m sure you can handle a baby just fine too. I do not think 22 is too young. If you ever want anyone to talk to, I’m always here. Good luck with your decision.Hey hun. I would advise not getting an abortion. I’ve heard from many girls that you will regret it for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t know from experience, but I do know what you’re going through right now. I am 17 and I am pregnant with my second baby. I skipped one month of birth control because of a pharmacy error and I ended up pregnant. If you ever want to talk, i’m here.
Hi Hun,
I’m basically in the same situation as you. I’m 17 and have an 8 month old son. Ever since my son was 2 months, I’ve wanted another baby. I know now is a bad time for me. So what I do is try to keep myself really busy. I try to avoid going on baby sites and everything, although sometimes I just break down and do it. I work a lot on trying to prepare myself for another baby, like using cost calculators and budgeting and things like that. Basically try to keep yourself really busy. Hope that helps a little. It’s helped me a little bit. I’ve made it through 6 months so far.Hi hun,
I figured I would share some of my past with you because it kind of deals with your situation. It deals with the ex-boyfriend aspect of your story.When I was about 13 I met this guy and we started dating. We dated for a little over 2 years, on and off, the longest (and last time) being a year and a half. I was so in love with him. We had plans to get married and have a family and live happily ever after. And then he cheated on me with one of my best friends. My whole entire world came crashing down on me. It was the worst time of my entire life.
I went through a lot of really horrible times after that with him and my friend. For almost two years after our breakup I could not get over him. For over six month after we broke up we didn’t even talk because I looked and him and just started crying my eyes out. I missed him more than anything and I just couldn’t get over him.
Then I met an amazing guy who is the father of my 7 month old son. When I started dating my baby’s father, it was easier to let go of everything that I had with the first guy. It took a long time, but now we are very close again. Not in a relationship sense, but just as friends. So I guess my point is that it is possible to move on from the relationship and just be friends.
By the way, I am 17 and I have a 7 month old son with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance). I got pregnant only 2 months after I turned 16. It is difficult but I’m telling you it was the best decision I’ve ever made by keeping my son. It is worth everything I’ve gone through.
I’m sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps. Even a little bit. If you ever need anything just sign my guestbook.
I tested positive for group b strep and all they did was give me antibiotics through my IV and everything turned out fine. My son was perfectly healthy and has been doing fine for the whole five months of his life. 🙂
I’m so sorry about your situation. I know this is a really tough decision for you, but you need to do what your heart is telling you to. If you don’t want to get an abortion, then don’t. You will have to live with regrets and the “what-ifs” the rest of your life. I’m 17 right now, and I have a five month old son. I’m still with the father, but even if he would have left, I still would have kept my baby. Also, my cousin is 19 and she is raising her son all by herself, and she’s doing just fine. Her and her son are both happy and healthy. If you decide to keep the baby, you can do it. It will be hard but it may just be the best decision of your life. The choice is up to you and no one else. Keep us updated on what you decide. *hugs*
congrats on your baby. I know it’s hard, me and my boyfriend fought steady for about 3 weeks after our son was born. So I kinda know where you’re coming from. But it does get easier with time. Good luck with everything.
Congrats on the new baby! I never breastfed, so I can’t really help you in that department, however, I did have my son sleep with me all the time for about the first two or three months of his life. It was the only way either of us could get any sleep and it worked out really well. Then when I started wanting him to sleep in his crib I would hold him until he fell asleep then lay him down and when he woke up in the middle of the night, then I would put him in bed with me. Now he will sleep in his crib all night by himself. By the way, my son is five months old now. So it’s really up to you, but I had a good experience with co-sleeping.
i’m sorry…your story is so sad…it made me cry to read it…i know how you feel about wanting a baby tho…i want another baby, my son is 5 months old, and i hope to go to college and everything too…but still, having another baby is a big thing on my mind…if you ever want to talk to someone that understands, i’m here…
hi, welcome to the site! I think its great you kept your baby and everything even after his dad left. It’s good you and your son are doing well. Happy late birthday!
