FrancesBeanMommy

I think about that too! Kind of like, just wonder in awe at how this little person came out of me, how he actually LIVED inside my belly for nine months, and that it was a pure miracle that he even came to be. God has plans for us, girl, he knew we were meant to be mothers. And it’s so awesome already, isn’t it??

It is YOUR decision that will affect your life and yours alone. Do not make it based on anyone else. I was told to have an abortion by my ex bf….I almost caved when he left me but I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t, not only because it has always been against my personal beliefs, but being a mother is such a wonderful thing! Please choose what YOU really want to do, because there is no going back sweetie. Good luck and God bless.

*Jasmine*

Hey huni, sounds like you’re having a rough time.
I know the feeling of just falling apart, and feeling like you’re going crazy. All you can do is pray, and try to be strong. God will give you strength to get through this, and you WILL be able to be a great mother to your children.
Some advice…I don’t know if you have ever talked to a counselor or therapist or anything, but I believe they are of great help. It just gives you another person’s perspective, someone on the outside, and their job is to help YOU. I have been in counseling since before my son was born, and my counselor is kind of like a good friend of mine now, I almost look forward to the days we get to talk. And if you are sill having trouble coming out of your depression and hopelessness…there is no problem with getting an antidepressant to help, if your doctor thinks it would be ok. They can work wonders. Good luck, and get back to me if you need ANYTHING at all!! We love you here, and I’ll be praying for you.

Hey girl, I hope you are feeling ok. I encourage you to keep your baby!!! You sound like you really do want to be a good mother to him/her, and that abortion is not something you feel is right for you. I think that even for people who are "sure" they want an abortion, the emotional repurcussions can be severe, so for someone who doesn’t really want to go through with abortion to have one would be so much more excruciating. And you are right, things do happen for a reason. I am 20, and am going to be a single mother in a couple of weeks. My ex left because he didn’t want to be a father and couldn’t get me to agree to abortion. He too was abusive (although emotionally, not physically) and also an alcoholic. We can make it, you and I, and our children too!! Good luck and God bless.

Do both!!! I am 20, and am in the 8th month of my pregnancy and still working on my bachelors. The father is gone, we were "perfect" together until baby made three, so it’s just me and baby. But I encourage you to have your baby and go to school. You sound like you really do want to keep your baby. I too have a family apartment on campus, which make things easier, and will take my son to daycare once he is old enough. I am currently full time, and I will deliver in the middle of the semester. I’ve talked to my professors, and they all are willing to work with me. I only had to drop one class because the prof did not want to work something out. People really will work with you, the world can’t punish you for having children! Children are amazing and wonderful. And financially, there are a lot of programs that can help you so that you will be able to make ends meet while raising your baby and continuing with school. Best of luck, and keep me updated dear 🙂

Lots of good questions, I’m glad you’re ready to start planning for your little one!
If you live in the U.S. one program that I highly reccomend is WIC (women, infants, and children). I’m sure other places have something similar, I just wouldn’t know what they call it there. But this program is a nutrition program, and you get vouchers for free specific nutritious foods while you are pregnant and/or breastfeeding, and if you choose to formula feed, once your baby is born you sign him/her up with the program and you will get vouchers for free formula, baby cereal, and baby juice. You will get grocerey benefits until 6 months post-partum, and once your baby is 13 months old he/she will get vouchers for solid food until age 5.

You can also get government help for day care. You will have to fill out forms but once they go through you can get drastically reduced prices for daycare. To get these forms go to your county’s job and family services center.

You will also want to look into food stamps and medicaid or healty start for your little one (and yourself) which can also be done at job and family services.

As for school, I encourage you to try and continue with it. My baby is due in 2 months, and I will be continuing with my degree (I’m a sophomore in university) through the last part of my pregnancy and once he is born. A lot of colleges have family housing, which is where I am living. They are apartments that are for students with families, and usually utilities (including cable and internet, woohoo!) are included in your monthly rent. Sometimes they will even provide furniture. You should definitely be able to get government aid for your tuition if not for your housing once you state on your fafsa that you have a dependent. Most single parents in school I know have basically gotten their tuiton completely covered, which is a great help.

check out consignment and resale shops for used baby furniture or clothes, such as Once Upon a Child.

Good luck, and let me know if you need anything!!

baby girl, you stand up for what you believe in!! If you want to keep your baby, there are ways to get help. And no, you are not crazy for loving this guy. We don’t choose who we love, and it just shows that you are a caring and forgiving person to be able to love him and look past all that he’s doing to you. But that doesn’t mean you should stay with him. If he’s hurting you, and using sex against you, I encourage you to GET OUT! I know it hurts your heart and that you are afraid to miss him, but if he won’t let you save your baby’s life, he won’t let you save your own. I don’t know if you have a close relative or friend that could help you, but I would start there. And if you are continuing to get hurt, go to the police. They are there to help you, and they can arrest him if he is doing this to you. Good luck and God bless you.

Hey girl. That’s great that you and your bf have both decided to wait on having sex. Sex can complicate things immensely, even when you are in love. I think that you and your boyfriend should try to have a talk sometime, when you are both calm, and try to set some boundaries. Like,….ok if this starts to happen, we’ll do this, etc. It’s good to know where you and each other stand.

Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/10/24 01:24

Hey girl. Sometimes all you can do is pray. I too have been abandoned/betrayed by my baby’s father, he was and still is the love of my life. But I still have 4 1/2 months until my baby boy is brought into this world, and I will keep praying that something will change, and that he will come around. If you know in your heart that you cannot get an abortion, don’t do it. I’ve personally never had one, but have heard so many stories of girls who wish they hadn’t. If you want to be a mommy to your baby, then you can do it. Of course it won’t be the easiest if the father is still behaving so badly toward you once the baby arrives, but you’ll love that baby so much you won’t know what you did without him/her. And if you don’t think you can be a mother yet, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with adoption. You can even pick the parents yourself, and keep it open if you would like to know what’s going on in your child’s life!
As for your question about financial things, well there are people/places that can help. I’m not sure how things are at your home in New Zealand, but in the United States there are all sorts of programs that help young mothers, from WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) to the Healthy Start Program, as well as numerous state and locally funded programs. If you decide to keep your baby, do some research, find out what is available to you, and get what you can! These programs are designed to help you get on your feet so that you can get out on your own and provide for yourself and your child. And no matter what happens with the father of the baby, don’t you think for one minute that he can just run away and forget it all. You make sure you get child support. Good luck, and get at me if you ever want to talk.