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I know you say ignore her, but I won’t be able to if she comes up to me and starts doing that stuff. And I can’t exactly hide in the sea of people, because there won’t be a sea of people, there’ll just be a lot of people a lot of whom know each other lol.??:woohoo:
Before I give you any advice at all, let me tell what the abortion procedure is. No loud words here, just medical lexicon. There are two types of abortion for a baby under twelve weeks: suction aspiration, and dilation and curettage. With suction aspiration, you get a special suction device (a hollow tube with a knife-edged tip) 29 times more powerful than a vacuum cleaner and the baby gets torn into little pieces, which are then vacuumed through the tube into a bottle. D&C is where you get a knife-edged tip and cut the baby into pieces, which are then scraped out through the cervix. I don’t think they are very nice methods to die, and you would probably agree that they aren’t really in the best interests of the baby.
It’s hard being a mother, no doubt, and I can relate to you when you say you want this baby to have a good life, and you want it to grow up differently than the way you did. I get plagued with worries about my son as well. I grew up in less than ideal circumstances, which made me walk away with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I always worry, am I a bad parent? What if I suddenly abuse my son, or give him a bad life? What if I become like my mother? But the thing is, you have your mother’s DNA and she has contributed to the worldview you have now but you are not your mother, and you will not parent like your mother either. I was planned: my parents were married, had jobs and their own home, and it still didn’t stop things happening to me. I know other instances where children were born into less than ideal circumstances: even worse than yours, and they’ve turned out well-adjusted adults who love their parent/s and are happy to be alive. You just never know in this life.
Give this baby a chance. Don’t cut it into pieces, you never know what somebody’s life will turn out to be like. Just do the best you can. This is not your decision really. It’s God’s. If you’re not religious then call it fate. What seems like the easiest option now, abortion, is really the longest and saddest road you could possibly take.That just sounds crazy. I think your friend is just very scared of her parents, and has what one could call the ‘bullied syndrome’ where you think the other side has more power than you do because you’ve seen them use that power. Similar to what a wife would have when beaten by her husband.
Personally, what I would do is get legal advice and preferably a lawyer (do you have any friends that are or know any lawyers?) and then either go to the cops for kidnapping, or just go there with a few male friends. If she has nothing to hide, she should be able to get and keep her son.
That’s her son! Her flesh and blood.That is just beyond ludicricy. I would get them in for kidnapping. That shouldn’t entail a long court process, but if it does, then I say get her to go with a couple male friends and see if her dad is as brave as he thinks when he is pushing around a woman. And then take her son and leave. They can call the cops all they want. It’s her son, not their’s. That’s what I would have done anyway.
But I would seek legal advice first, I don’t know what the laws in your state are.Well I wrote the same thing in another post but it didn’t get allowed through, so let’s see what happens this time.
I’ll say what I think anyway. So what if she’s only 16? I was only 16 as well. I don’t see myself as some sort of anomaly, and I don’t see her as one either. It’s her business, and I think her pregnancy should be celebrated just like any other.
What worries me is that if she turns out like Britney she could make a bad (as in worse i mean lol) rep for us teen mothers, if she has bad parenting, it will all be attributed to her age, just you watch. If she turns out to be a good parent, well, then the opposite is true, and I think it will a good thing for us teen mothers.
It’s not like she’s going out there and say, hey girls, all my 12 year old fans, why don’t we all go out and get pregnant? She’s just saying, I fell pregnant and I’m standing up and keepng the baby, and I see nothing wrong with that.
If I had a 12 year old daughter and she was watching that show, I wouldn’t really be worried Jamie’s pregnant. Hopefully I would have instilled in her enough common sense to know that it’s best to raise children after you are married and out of high school. I really think that people making all this fuss about it is just making everything worse. She’s not ONLY 16 — she’s 16, that’s all, now get over it.
I would also like to add that if people think that Jamie Lynn is promoting sex being acceptable, why don’t they pull things like billboards with half-naked women and TVs shows that promote promiscuous sex off the air instead?Well first off, although this may seem awkward me saying this, but congratulations! Having a child is a joy.
It does only take one time to get pregnant though. Well all I can say is that things don’t just happen for no reason, including this pregnancy.
I hope you see some of the bright things about this, other than just the negatives — yes, it will be harder to go to school, but it’s not impossible, I and many other girls on this site have done it and are doing it, yes financially it’s harder, and yes you don’t get to have all the time to yourself or to just hang out. Those are true, but they’re not the full picture.
You are going to be having a baby, and that little being inside of you already has a beating heart and all of its limbs forming, so please don’t consider abortion.
If you can’t cope with the situation, there is always adoption.
But please be brave and stand up for this child, good luck and lots of love KatWell it didn’t cost me a cent because I went public, and there were so many babies born when Alex was that they put me up in a private room for the first day for free! Not that you didn’t already know that lol.
But yeah, public didn’t cost me anything. Except for a whole bunch of nerves that is lol. But I was probably just not very lucky when it came to midwives and stuff…I think you are very brave. If you don’t want to give up your baby, there shouldn’t be any reason why you would.
If the father of the baby can’t have you living with him/renting out a place together, then there are always options you can take.
How long is it until you reach 16? I think that there are woman and child shelters that accomodate you if you are 16 and over, and sometimes even when your less (I’m not sure if this is the case where you live though, it’ll be up to you to have a look).
I went there when my son was three months old, because it was absolutely impossible to live with my parents, I was never forced to give my son up, but I don’t think I could even if someone tried to force me. Shelters aren’t a pretty place, but they’re something, and they’re seriously not that bad — you know in your mind and heart you won’t be there forever.
There’s also the option of trying to live with your friends, although that is VERY problematic. I’ve also heard of families who ‘adopt’ women with babies and let them board at their house, I think that’s a form of foster care.
God bless and good luck.Yeah, I had the same feeling after I gave birth to my son, I haven’t read any scientifice research on it, but as far as I’m concerned from my experiences and the women I talked to, it’s perfectly normal, and it just passes with time.
I think for me it passed when my son got to about six months of age, but my memory could be fuzzy, because he’s two and a half now and it was ages ago lol. Now I just want another baby, but I know I can’t because I’m single lol!I absolutely hear you girl!
Friends can be so mean — I’m going through the same stuff with my friends, because I can’t just hang out with them etc., I’m so different, and I don’t know any real life young mothers, it’s so hard, it gets a bit lonely.
But the main thing is not to give up, and just relax and understand it’s not because you’re being a bad person or anything. Even though you’re about to give birth, busy yourself with something — set yourself a goal, like decorating the house, or better yet, get out of the house and find out about something you’ve always wanted to, join a mother’s group/playground. Go out and look for something to do that interests you.
As hard as it is right now, you have to have your own independent life from your bf to have a healthy relationship, so if right now just go out and do something, doesn’t matter if it’s by yourself. That’s what I do when I have a day to only myself and my son. To be interesting to other people, you have to be interesting to yourself.
I pray everything gets better — once bub comes along you won’t have much time for things! Now is the time to catch that movie, even if by yourself, do some windown shopping in peace, go to a library, whatever you want…Happy Birthday Kennah.
Lots of love, you are a strong woman Devyn, I am sure she is watching over you and your husband from heaven.
Xx.This person is hoping you and the baby die? Do you want to live with a person like this?
Run girl, it sounds like he is emotionally abusing you.
Count the fact that you read hus diary not as an invasion of his privacy, but as a blessing where you now know his true feeling for you. And just in case you’re wondering, the are NOT normal.I’m really sorry to hear about that.
How is it going on the friendship front?
Maybe try joining a young mothers group?Natural is best, I did with my son.
It hurts at the time, but then it’s all over — think of the benefits!
Good luck!::)I don’t see the need. I haven’t circumsized my son, I don’t see why he would have to go through unnecessary pain, I think if he grows up and wants to chop off his foreskin, that’s his choice, so I think he can choose for himself.
Personally, if he cleans it properly, I don’t see the need for circumsicion. I don’t think body parts are given by God for no particular reason at all.I would have to agree with nadza. It is instilled in a woman biologically — we just want to have babies. Have you ever noticed even in daycare three year old girls playing with dolls being mummy, feeding them, putting them to sleep? I’m not saying all girls are like that, I for one climbed trees and fell into ditches when I was growing up instead, but that’s the norm.
I always wanted a baby, even before I had my rags (sorry for the bluntness) or had sex, although I did think of it in terms of the future. But I can understand why other people want to have babies at a younger age — I always wanted my first at 20, but I ended up being pregnant at 16. And you know, I felt ready. I still don’t feel too young, and I’m 19. I woulnd’t call us premature. Premature means not mature enough — and premature girls can’t get pregnant because they are physically not mature enough. When one is emotionally mature enough I don’t think you could cut off somebody at 16 and say — you’re not emotionally mature. Everybody’s different. I felt mature enough.
And I don’t believe that you can’t raise children well when you’re young. Everyone in my family other than my mother had their first just after hitting 20 — I know, it’s a bit older than the teens, but that’s just how it was. Some people feel ready, other’s don’t.
Especially in Western culture (I’m not meaning to offend anyone but it’s true) ‘raising’ a child properly usually means giving them the two-storey house and a lot of other material things. Geez, if my ancestors could even dream of that, living in communal flats with other families! I really can’t agree with kaileyamanda that young girls aren’t ready. I was, even if it wasn’t planned. I find it hard to understand how women at 14 can be ready — because I was a virgin then and just couldn’t imagine it, and I find it hard to understand why people who are 30 don’t feel ready either sometimes. But just because I don’t fully understand their point of view, doesn’t mean that it’s not legitimate.Congratulations on the pregnancy, and welcome to this site!
There’s a lot of horrible stuff you can find on the net, I know. I’m sure you’ll make great parents, and don’t tell anyone else tell you otherwise!
Where are you from?
p.s.Im 19 with a two and a half year old son, he wasn’t planned, but I love him to bits! Feel free to ask me any questions or if you want to chat. I absolutely love this site, and I hope you’ll enjoy it too!:DBut why do you believe that being pregnant and single, and being 19 will stop you from giving a child a good life? Well, your choice really.
But women have stood up for their children through fire water and metal before in bad situations, materialism isn’t the main thing in raising children.
But congratulations on keeping the baby and choosing to give it life.Then why don’t you keep it? You love your baby, you’re its mother. The best person a child can grow up with is its mother more often than not, so what if you’re young. Look at the girls on this site, they’re all young. They’re doing great jobs. They love and enjoy their lives and their families and their children.
Why adopt a child out if you could very well raise it yourself?
Please keep strong, you can do this.You’ve done it once, and you can do it again.
Just think for a second, pregnancy doesn’t happen without a reason. If it happened, it was meant to be.
And think about this: your son will have a sibling! You are a strong woman, and you can do this.
I’m here if you need to chat, I had my son at 17 and he’s two and a half, and I’ve being doing it alone the whole time as well…
