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I am sorry, I don’t know your history, but from reading your post I can not imagine going through what you have gone through. My son (12) is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I can’t imagine my life without him.
I have heard the most insensitive things come from people who simply don’t know what to say. So I won’t say anything other than “I am so sorry” and ((((BIG hugs))).
melissaSince twins do not share the same placenta or amniotic sack, in theory it would be possible to lose one and not the other. The only way for sure is to go back to the doctor and insist on more testing. You could have remaining pregnancy tissue from the miscarried baby that could cause problems. Either way, you need to find out for sure.
My prayers to you for your loss. Let us know how things turn out.
melissa1st, you are NOT responsible for him “losing the love of his life” or whatever HE decides to do as a result of your decision. Truth is, HE chose to have sex with you outside of that “loving” relationship. This is a manipulative tactic to get you to get “rid” of his little problem, thereby releasing him of any guilt, shame or responsibility. ARGH! To put it nicely, that dirtbag wouldn’t have a chance to touch my baby! Sorry, I know, not mine. ehem, moving on…
2nd, you being in college is totally workable. If you decide to place your baby for adoption in a 2 parent home, that makes your life easier for sure. My sister did that and eventually reunited with her daughter after 23 years. It was awesome!
BUT, if you decide that would be too hard (to place the baby for adoption), there are so many organizations that are ready and willing to help you through the pregnancy, school and all of the things that go with being a single mom. There are support groups, churches, crisis pregnancy centers that have what you need. That, in combination with family and friends, could help you over any obstacles. You may even qualify for extra help to go to college being a single mom.
Just remember, an abortion is something you can’t take back once you have done it. When the baby is gone, it’s gone and can not only leave you with physical scars but emotional ones as well. Not to mention, the life that has been taken is precious and deserves a chance. If you choose adoption, at least you will be able to choose exactly which family your baby grows up in. If you choose to parent, you have chosen the most rewarding job on the face of the earth.
hey there,
In “my own experience”, a man will tell you what you want to hear in order to avoid conflict or dealing with an issue. This would be a big issue, sooo, yes he could be lying or not.
My advice? Decide now to forgive him if you intend on staying with him. You may never know for sure, so you need to forgive. AND ..ask him to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Just for your own peace of mind and protection.
Have you asked this girl any details about the alleged “sleep-over”? She may be able to provide details that back up her claim or if she is pressed for more info and can’t provide it, she may come out as a liar. I would ask though.
Good luck,
MelissaI think my posts will start to sound like a broken record, but here it is:
Find a crisis pregnancy center in your area if possible. Most offer parenting classes (which ease the scary part and make you feel more confidant) and in exchange they usually have some type of “mommy store” where you can purchase diapers, clothing, car seats and other supplies.
It may seem scary to think that a baby will change your life, and he (or she) will change you and your fiance! My little one will be 12 this Thursday. I always told myself I would “never” have any children. I didn’t have kind words either, I didn’t like kids. My sweet son has changed my life forever. It is hard to describe this little baby gazing into your eyes with such “hero worship” and love. You are their world, and no matter how many stupid mistakes we make (yes, I made a lot. I mean A LOT), you just keep learning right along with them.
Please seek help! You can google post-abortive healing and find help in your area. I haven’t fully read the terms and conditions here, so I am not sure if I can post a direct link, but if you google that you will find the same websites. There is hope and healing for you. Most abortion clinics are very compassionate, and even though I am very, very pro-life, I honestly believe that the abortion people truly think they are helping women, they don’t consider that you could possibly suffer from your choice.
My sister had an abortion at 13. Mom brought her home and said “the doctor said you would bleed for a few weeks and you will be fine”. That was 26 years ago. When I asked her about it, she said, “I am still bleeding”. I don’t know if you are a Christian or not, but my sister can’t accept that God will forgive her if she just repents and asks for His forgiveness, so she still hurts. The truth is, God is ready and eager to extend love, mercy and forgiveness. We just have to be willing to ask for it. Kinda the first step.
I will be praying for you. Please seek help, it is out there.
melissa
Even if you couldn’t stop doing “medicine”, choose life. There are people that will take the baby if she has problems, people who will take the baby if he is addicted. You can legally give birth and leave the baby at the hospital, no questions asked.
That said, crisis pregnancy centers can help. I offer counseling at mine and will work one on one with anyone who needs help. I will do whatever is necessary to help a mother be healthy while she is pregnant and do whatever is necessary to help her with the baby after the baby is born. I don’t think I am unique, crisis pregnancy centers are awesome! Also, a good church, friends, family I am sure would be willing to be there for you during this time.
Please choose life for your baby, you may well be saving your own (if it gets you out of the drug lifestyle).
(((hugs))) Melissa
Hi Karma, I am so sorry that you are going through this. You didn’t why you terminated your pregnancy, often times women have such conflict even if they feel they made the best choice at the time. Yes, pregnancy hormones would have made you feel like this and you continue to feel like this because the body and mind are in shock. Your pregnancy hormones were abruptly cut off, which would make you feel crazy in and of itself. Then you are dealing with the emotional after effects of losing this baby (even if it was from abortion and not miscarriage).
It sounds like you could possibly be suffering from post abortion syndrome. A crisis pregnancy center can usually help with spiritual and emotional healing after an abortion, or possibly a good pastor. Older women friends can also help you through this.
God bless you, may you find healing. My prayer is that your circumstances change to where you would never have to make this choice again, that you would find the support you need.
Bondservant
