Hi everyone. I am 18 years of age and I would like to share my story with you. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and throughout our relationship we have talked about having a family together as most couples do. My story begins here. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome)
This is where there are multiple cysts on your ovaries and they cause irregular periods and it is harder to get pregnant and you are placed on birth control pills to help shrink the cysts and regularize your period. I was attending university at the time and also working for the Christmas holidays last year December and on New Year’s Eve and New Years’ Day I started experiencing real bad pelvic cramps and plus I had the flu really bad with fever and body pains. So I drank some ginger tea to ease up the cramps and the fever…. I realized that my cramps were not going away at all. Then the vomiting started and I was scared because I thought I had some real bad sickness due to the cysts.
So…. I tried everything to stop the vomiting because nothing was staying down in my stomach. So my mother eventually got fed up of my vomiting and took me to the doctor but because I am 18 and considered an adult, I had to go see the doctor alone. So they took a urine sample from me and the nurse came and told me that she took a pregnancy test and that I am pregnant. I told her that she was lying and that it was impossible.
So…. after leaving the doctor’s office, my mother asked me what was the problem so I told her it was gas. I just couldn’t tell her then and then too I didn’t believe that I was pregnant. So the vomiting continued… and I tried to stop it again. So I bought two pregnancy tests to check again, I took one and it came back positive so I didn’t even bother to take the other one. I was so scared but I still didn’t believe that I was pregnant so my boyfriend and I went to an ultrasound laboratory and I found out that I was 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I was so scared.
My boyfriend and I were surprised because we didn’t expect this and I was on the birth control pill and had the Ovarian cysts. We weren’t ready to be parents and we were afraid of telling our parents. Eventually we got the courage to tell our parents after we had spoken to the pastor of our church. We both held offices in the church. He was the Technician and Communications person in our church and I was a Superintendent and Chorister. The church held a business meeting and they dis-fellowshipped us from the church so we are no longer members of the church and in order for us to take part in church activities we must re-baptize. It has been a hard road for us.
The people we thought were there for us literally kicked us out of the church. Anyways after telling our parents, they were, of course, disappointed but now they are supporting us more than ever. I am 7 months pregnant now and both my boyfriend and I are proud expectant parents looking forward to the arrival of our child.
My boyfriend has been supportive and more loving and caring. He has a job that pays really good enough to support us and the child. I have decided to get a job after giving birth and go back to school.
I just want encourage all the young girls out there never to give up on themselves or their children both unborn and born.
Children are blessings to us. There are many people who cannot get pregnant and want and love children and would do anything to have children so count your blessings. God will see you through. Just pray and never stop praying, God will never give up on you.
I have had the worst experiences during my pregnancy. I was and still am being judged, I vomited for 4 months and even ended up in the hospital on drips feeling weak. I eventually heard about Gravol Suppositories and I take them now and they work really well so I recommend them to anyone who is going through the same thing as I did. I have learnt that as soon as you get pregnant whether planned or unplanned, your life is not your own anymore.
You have to re-build your whole life around this new life that is inside of you. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and a great blessing even with the little complications in between. And even though there are major changes in your life, you can still achieve your goals. I hope that my story can encourage and help anyone in many ways.
More stories:
She’s Finally Here(My Labour Story)
StandUpGirl Podcasts by Nikki
Early Pregnancy Symptoms
Everyone knows that an unexpected teen pregnancy is a scary ordeal, be it you’re keeping the baby, aborting, or adoption. My story is no different, because a scare is just as scary…
You have all your plans flash before your eyes, everyone telling you their input when all you want to do is wake up and figure out that it was all a scary dream… but what happens when it turns out it isn’t a scary dream?
My story is like a lot of others, but different. I dated this one guy and we were together for 10 months (Longest relationship I’ve ever had) And when I came back from china last year in July I went to his friends party (it was small no more than 7 people) and I ended up getting drunk due to jet lag ( I normally know my limit and when to stop) needless to say I lost it that night… That I started the pill in August and I stopped it in October when we broke up, also in October I had a pap smear and I got tested for stds just in case.
Everything was healthy and fine so I wasn’t worried. After we broke up I wanted to get over him as soon as I could and so I had 3 FWB one always used protection, one I never realized didn’t (though he would always pull out) and the last one after a week we started dating and I cut things off with the other two. This was in December. I also re-took up smoking in October and I’d have the occasional drink.
After December my then bf stopped using condoms and I became pregnant I didn’t notice though because my doctor said that my periods wouldn’t be regular after stopping the pill, so I kept smoking. I miscarried that February and two months later he and I broke up…
I decided in April that I wanted to come back to China and then in May I grew closer with my most recent ex’s family… I started staying over at his sisters or his younger brothers (they didn’t live with their mom) I was still smoking and occasionally having a drink and my periods were fairly regular, I knew to expect them around the beginning of every month, and that was generally a few days after I ovulated which varied from cycle to cycle.
During the month of June my recent ex’s brother and I had grown so close (they are half brothers just going t o put that out there and I’ve known him for longer than I’ve known his brother) that we decided to start dating, despite the fact that I was going to China.
Now my periods are normally heavy with major cramps due to ovarian cysts every period (it runs in my moms side of the family) and they last 7 days. After my miscarriage my periods returned to normal, I got them like that up until June… which I found odd. My period in June was 5 days, and medium to light, more brown discharge than an actual period, I didn’t think anything of it though.
The first week of June I had my graduation and he and I got drunk and had sex for the first time together, after that we consummated 12 more times (I figured it out earlier this month) and all unprotected…
The week before I left for China I had bleeding that started on the 18th and that went until the 25th (it ended that morning) it was a mix of spotting and watery blood, mostly spotting that would happen every 5 hours or so, so I hardly noticed it, it was watery blood on the 21st-23rd and it pretty much stopped. Then on the 25th in the morning I wiped and it was like normal implantation bleeding and I haven’t had any bleeding since…
This month I missed my period I’ve been having more headaches, food aversions and cravings, lower backaches, cramping, bloating, sore heavy tingly and sensitive breasts, I’ve been far more moody than I should be, I’ve been gassy, and I’ve been needing more water than I’m used to…
First off I’ve been in China for 4 weeks now, the temperature is warmer than what I’m used to, I’m over my jet lag, and I’ve told my father that I might be pregnant…
With the food thing I used to try to avoid spice but now I feel the need to add spice to all of my meals, I all but vomit when I eat oatmeal (I used to eat it no problem) I used to always fry my food because it was really simple and I liked it, not I can’t stand it. I always want fruit (the more the better) I don’t really like sour and I used to eat lemons like oranges. I don’t really like bacon, but now I can’t get enough of it!
I took 5 tests and they all came back negative, the last one I took was on the 18th of June, I also have hormonal problems, and I’ve been having ovarian cysts since I was about 13-14 years old with every period, so if I have a cyst now this is the first time without my period…
I calculated on a few different websites when I should be able to test and some told me I tested too early whereas other tell me I should be able to test and get an accurate result…
After reading my story it’s not like the average teen pregnancy, and nothing about it had been normal, and Distance is no help.
I am SO glad I found this community of support for abortion recovery! I started a blog yesterday to share my story of 3 abortions nearly 10 years ago which almost ended my life through depression and suicidal thoughts. I am sharing some of my post below. I am amazed every day and how far one can come in light of forgiveness and grace.
It’s Time for Healing …
I truly start this blog with tears in my eyes and it simply does not get any more real then that. Of all those I know and in particular those closest to me, I can count on one hand the people who know the true extent of my past …
I live in a county with one of the highest number of churches in the United States. We have no abortion clinics in this county. There are Mennonites, Amish and just about every other form of believer here. When meeting a person for the first time one of the most common questions asked is “what church do you attend” … it is not IF but where. Yes this here is God’s country.
So I write this with a heavy heart as the majority of my friends in this area (all but 2) are unaware of my past. They see me as “one of them” a believer, a sister in Christ, a redeemed soul. But they do not know the prior me. I struggle with whether that truly even matters? What would they say? What would they think? How would they react? I do not know. It is frightening yes…but we are ALL sinners saved by grace and the loving and just God we serve does not ‘rank’ sins. So would they still accept me? They are my sisters in Christ and without a doubt I can confidently say the answer is yes.
Where I come from, while only a few states away … might as well be another planet. I grew up knowing virtually no one who went to church. No one talked about God, about Jesus, about the love from above, about redemption, about being saved … none of it. Sure there was church. My mom would drag my sister and I every now and again on a Sunday to a Catholic church which for me meant being forced to ‘sit still’ and ‘be quiet’ for an hour and a half. To this day I could not tell you a thing that was said, though I do remember saying the Lord’s Prayer every time. We received communion though I had no idea why at least I was able to move from the pew for a couple minutes which made me happy. You get the idea.
I sit here typing this with God filling my heart. For quite some time I have felt the itch to share my story with others. I would question God on this feeling as I have never considered myself a writer or someone with the knowledge of the Gospel equipped to share it with anyone. Yet I still felt God telling me … this needs to be heard, move now.
So there I sat in church this past Sunday. A wonderful message about serving others and the fact that faith is dead without works. A tinge in my heart started to light a fire. The pastor discussed how Jesus took the most unexpected, sometimes least educated, as disciples to share His news. That no matter what season in life we MUST serve Him in order to truly be filled with Christ. And then the pastor mentioned an agency near and dear to my heart … one which talks to teens and women contemplating abortion. BAM a light bulb moment happened. I came home and applied to volunteer immediately as a counselor. No more excuses, no more reasons to shy away … it is MY time to share my story.
And so it begins ….
Crisis Support
I Went Through With It
Embryoscopy and Fetoscopy
Hi Guys! You have no idea how happy I was to find out that this website still exists! This site was my refuge back in my teenage years–with pregnancy and all that stuff. I just want to share my story and how StandUpGirl.com has helped me become who I am today.
I was 16 that time. I had a boyfriend, who I was always with all the time. We had a fairly good relationship I can say. But that was only in the beginning. We used to drink a lot. And I mean a whole lot. We always get drunk and never really cared. Then came the serious stuff, boom! I got pregnant. When I told my boyfriend about it, he pulled a disappearing act on me! (I had no idea he had some magic tricks! just kidding) All he told me was he wasn’t ready for a child and it was my choice. He also said that if I was to have an abortion, he wouldn’t help me because it’s against his belief. What a douche! I didn’t know what to do. I cannot really confide to my friends who are at the same age bracket as mine because I don’t think they can accept it. I don’t know but it felt like I was not 16 at the time. I felt like I was already in my 20’s. Since I cannot tell anyone, I decided to find other options. That feeling when you just cannot contain the guilt and the shame anymore that you just need to tell someone. And writing it in a journal won’t even help. I tried a help line for pregnant teenagers, but the women I spoke with doesn’t seem to be of any help at all. It was like they were just reading some scripts and never cared about my true feelings. Then I decided to google my situation and found StandUpGirl.com. It was like the gates of heaven opened in front of me. I read stories from different women and how they have survived it. I have found a lot of inspiration from these women.Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. Maybe it was because of too much stress or I don’t know. But because I was young and stupid at 16, I went and continue my relationship with my magician boyfriend. He said that if I ever get pregnant again, he will stay by my side and never leave. (to me it was like the hallelujah chorus). Two years later, I got pregnant again. He never left when he found out, though there were some changes in him. I decided to keep the baby. And oh by the way, I was in my freshman year and had to go to school with my very pregnant uterus. My parents decided I need to finish my Bachelor’s degree. Thank God for very understanding parents! I was 19 when I delivered my healthy baby boy.
Then began the horror, my then boyfriend became so different. He suddenly gets jealous a lot, accused me of things, and then he started hitting me. I thought it was just a phase but it became a cycle. We started living together in a house when my child turned 2. It was a nightmare for me. I left my friends because he was too concerned that I might have a relationship with some of them(hello, though he knows all of my GUY friends are GAY!). He was pushing me into marrying him but I never said yes.
It took a lot of courage to finally decide to leave that man. I was in my fourth year when we separated. And it was a liberation! At first, I was afraid of the single mother stigma. To me, I would rather live with that stigma than be miserable the rest of my life with that man. Fortunately, I was able to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing.
Now, I can tell you that leaving that man was the best decision I have ever made.I am now a Registered Nurse. The stigma doesn’t exist. In the modern world of ours today, single mothers are celebrated and respected. I salute any man who falls in love with a single mother!
Sophmore In College
Regret at 18
The Beginning of Being a Teen Mom
About 5 months ago before I started college I found out I was pregnant, I was only 16. I didn’t know what to do, I was so lost and confused.
I wasn’t sure what I really wanted. I had always loved the fact of having a baby, having a family that I never really had, as I’ve never been close to my family. I mean now, me and my boyfriend talk about how much we’d love to be a family. when I found out I was in shock, I was so scared. I had told my boyfriend and he said it would be the right thing to abort it, as he was going to uni and wouldn’t be there as much as he would like. I guess he had a point, my mum was a lone parent and she struggled. I didn’t want that, I wanted the best for my child. I felt my mum wanted me to abort the child but she never said anything. I didn’t want to do it at all, I felt I was being selfish, I was having sleepless night day after day at the thought of abortion, but because I loved my family I decided to do it, but now I realize that it was the wrong decision.
I’m ashamed of my self from what I did. I’ve had counseling sessions, and nothing seams to be working. I keep reading online of how bad my choice was, I just want my baby back. I’m completely broken, I’m a new person. I just want the old me back, all these stories saying they started to forget and forgive after a year. I don’t want to wait that long, I don’t know what to do. I have no one to talk to, every time I bring it up with my boyfriend he just ignores it. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, I feel that guilty. My family and boyfriend are scared for me.I don’t know what to do, what else can I do?
Please could you share this as well, it would be nice to know it could help someone else as these stories have helped me.
Thank you for your time, it means so much.
More Articles to read:
Hello Stand Up Girl!
I Had A Secret Abortion At 18
I’ve never blogged before.. Or talked to anyone about this besides the people in my life I’m closest too so this is a new thing for me. I guess the way I’m going about trying to get better just isn’t working so it’s time to try something new. You can’t get better if you don’t share the story.
So here goes the sharing. I should probably start of before I found out I was pregnant to try and help anyone reading to better understand. When I was a freshmen in high school I came home to my parents, my sister, and my grandma all sitting in our family room crying, sobbing. Being a freshmen in high school I jumped to many conclusions; someone passed away, someones hurt, etc. My mind didn’t jump to my sister is pregnant but that was the case.
My sister was 17 years old and in high school. My sister was in a terrible un-supportive relationship. The day after my sister got home from the hospital she tried to overdoes and kill herself after giving birth to her first little boy. A year later that little boy came to live with us because we got a phone call from my now 19 year old sister, saying she was pregnant. Pregnant from a different guy and couldn’t support two kids on her own. Fast-forward another year. I’m 17 years old. The same age as my sister was when she was the talk of our small town for being pregnant in high school.
My little brother a freshmen in high school the same age I was when I was being told “You’re going to end up just like her” The same age I was when I was getting in fights sticking up for my sister when people would talk down about her.
It was September when I was 5 days late. I called my friend to come over in the morning before we left to school to take a test. When I took the test I thought it would be just like the rest of the scares I’ve ever had. It would come back negative and I would go back to living my life the way I always had. I never planned for a positive to come up.
An all area athlete going to a expensive private college to play a sport there. I had plans of being a doctor. Of getting all american in my sport. My boyfriend being an all area football player. Dreams and the ability of going D1. All of the flashing right before me as a stared down at the blue stick that said positive.
I walked down the hall to my room where my friend was I started laughing and crying at the same time. Laughing because I was so scared and it all felt so unreal. Crying because I was scared, terrified, and confused. My friend thought it said negative but as she hugged me I said It’s positive. She let go and then hugged me again. Just holding me because what else can you do when you find out your friend is a pregnant senior in high school.
The second I let go I was surprised at the first thought that came to mind. “I’m getting rid of it.” It’s weird how you’re pro-life until it happens to you and you’re the one facing the choice laying right in front of you. Looking back now I know the truth behind the decision was shame and fear. The fact that people would say I turned out just like my sister. The fear of letting down my parents, of tearing my family apart just like my sister did. The fear of what people would think. What my life would turn into.. What I would lose.
I got in the car to go pick up my boyfriend for school. Though my world had felt like it stood still that didn’t mean the rest of the world actually stood still. It was an awkward ride of not talking because with my brother being in the car also I couldn’t tell Lamar what I had texted him saying “I had to tell you something” After telling him he said he knew the entire car ride what I was going to tell him because I had mentioned a few time about the missing period that I didn’t have.
My brother got out of the car but neither me or my boyfriend moved. I pulled my phone out, opened it to the picture, started crying, handed it to him and got out of the car. I couldn’t stand to be the one sitting there next time, to see his face as he saw the reality of it settle in. I got back in the car, he said “you’re pregnant?” I said “well it does stay positive doesn’t it, btw we’re not keeping it” And got back out of the car slamming the door behind me.
Looking back I realized it was right there that I was unfair. It was right there that I took away my boyfriend true feelings on the subject. I knew he’d do anything for me. I knew he would do whatever choice I felt was the best and since those were the first words out of my mouth that was the decision he backed up for the next 5 weeks while waited.
That day and every other day until October 7th I went through the motions. I had headaches, I had the sickness, I had the reality of my tiny baby growing inside me. When I would trip I would instinctively cover my stomach. When softball practice came around I pretended to be sick or hurt so I couldn’t play. I watched what I ate, I stopped tanning. I did everything and acted like I was going to keep her. In my heart I wanted to pretend like I was because I wanted to keep her more than anything.
My friend helped me set up an appointment a few days later. Deciding between awake or asleep, pill or surgery. It was all so much more than what a 17 year old should have been deciding. Though I didn’t see it at the time. I see it now. On the phone with all these different people. Doing research to find a place that was good enough and close enough. Making a plan to get there without my parents knowing. I guess your wondering how a 17 year old couple would pay for it? My boyfriends dad passed away a month earlier leaving him with $2,000 in spending. $435 of it now going to our abortion. On the phone I quickly learned just how hurtful people can be.
Though they worked at a clinic for these things you could hear the judgment in their voice, you could hear the angry and the betrayal. I never understood any of it until now. I feel how of those feelings but for myself. Hurt and anger and betrayal. I never ever would have imagined how it would be now. Once making the appointment we were told we have to at least wait until I’m 6 weeks along and the closest we could get to the 6 weeks was almost 7 weeks along. To this day I wish I could have moved the dates around. My boyfriends birthday being October 10th and October 7th being the day we gave away our first child.
We went through the motions for the next few weeks and during those weeks I realized just how hot of a topic abortion is. I guess you never really realize how much something is talked about until it applies to you. We went through homecoming week with me being pregnant he played through football games thinking about it, we wrote notes to each other to help get us through the day to day pains of realizing our actions.
The closer the October 7th came the more and more we talked about keeping her. The more and more we fought off whatever anyone else was telling us was right or wrong and started focusing on what we thought we could handle. But like I said earlier my biggest mistake was telling my boyfriend I’m getting rid of it as my first words about the subject. Though he could tell I was growing more fond about the baby he still new what my initial choice was and would do anything to give me what I wanted with this topic.
For awhile I refused to call it a baby. it was to be called an IT and nothing more than that. As the days passed on we started both calling it a baby. I would talk to her at night, I would try and convince myself that she would understand but too this day I truly don’t believe that she understands. She’s lost and confused as to why her own mother didn’t want to her and I wish so badly I could tell her that I do. But done digressing, my boyfriend and I would talk about keeping her about calling and canceling the appointment.
He’d rub my stomach and talk to her and it would all become real, we were a family and that was our baby. I knew all along how badly he wanted her I knew he was just scared and he just wanted to do what I thought was the right thing for us. But I don’t if or when I will ever forgive myself for taking away his child. For being so selfish and self centered to only think of myself. Not him. Not our baby. The closer October 7th got the closer I got to telling my parents, but I never dared utter a word. To them or to anyone. It was my friend and my boyfriend and I. I intended on taking this secret with me and no one would know.
But then one day I got in a fight with my best friend. Yeah I know why did a “friend” know before my “best friend” during the fight I broke down and told her. She was arguing with me because she said I was spending to much time with my boyfriend and I was ignoring everyone else in my life. The only way to make her understand was to break down and tell her why I’m always with him right now. The argument stopped on a dime and it was right there that I realized just how amazing of a best friend I had. She told me she’d drive me. And so the plan was made. I would spend the night at my friends house, tell my mom we were going dress shopping in champagne and my friend and boyfriend would take me to the clinic.
Now I have to live with that choice…………………..crying and crying.
