About 5 months ago before I started college I found out I was pregnant, I was only 16. I didn’t know what to do, I was so lost and confused.

I wasn’t sure what I really wanted. I had always loved the fact of having a baby, having a family that I never really had, as I’ve never been close to my family. I mean now, me and my boyfriend talk about how much we’d love to be a family. when I found out I was in shock, I was so scared. I had told my boyfriend and he said it would be the right thing to abort it, as he was going to uni and wouldn’t be there as much as he would like. I guess he had a point, my mum was a lone parent and she struggled. I didn’t want that, I wanted the best for my child. I felt my mum wanted me to abort the child but she never said anything. I didn’t want to do it at all, I felt I was being selfish, I was having sleepless night day after day at the thought of abortion, but because I loved my family I decided to do it, but now I realize that it was the wrong decision.

I’m ashamed of my self from what I did. I’ve had counseling sessions, and nothing seams to be working. I keep reading online of how bad my choice was, I just want my baby back. I’m completely broken, I’m a new person. I just want the old me back, all these stories saying they started to forget and forgive after a year. I don’t want to wait that long, I don’t know what to do. I have no one to talk to, every time I bring it up with my boyfriend he just ignores it. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, I feel that guilty.  My family and boyfriend are scared for me.I don’t know what to do, what else can I do?

Please could you share this as well, it would be nice to know it could help someone else as these stories have helped me.

Thank you for your time, it means so much.

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