Hi Jewel,
I was 19 years old when I got pregnant. My mom and sister already got their menstrual period so I was thinking maybe I’m just delayed or something. But then again thoughts came to my mind.
We just moved in Canada. Before we left the Philippines I had sex with my boyfriend. I was thinking maybe I’m just so stressed about living in another country, a new home, new environment, everything, that I was late.
I kept fighting the feeling that “maybe I am pregnant”.
Then I searched the symptoms of pregnancy.. and as days passed by.. these symptoms are starting to appear.. I was afraid to go to the doctor because of my negative thoughts.. the doctor might say that “You’re so young and pregnant”.. I was afraid to face the truth and what people with think of me.. 5 months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. so I’m wondering.. maybe I should get a pregancy test kit.. so I went to the pharmacy and got one.. I came home and tried it.. in my shock “I AM PREGNANT!”..
Oh my gosh! I didn’t know what to do.. My parents expect a lot from me.. I’m in college.. still adjusting to this new country.. and my family are still adjusting.. We have money problems and we have a lot of problems.. and I called my boyfriend and we thought of abortion..I really don’t want to abort my child.. but thinking of my father hot headedness.. my mother budgeting the expenses.. I’m still in college.. no money.. and my ambitions to have a healthy and wealthy life before I have a child and to be married first before having a child.. This was soo unexpected.. So I searched the net for abortion.. and I found this clinic where they do abortion.. They put me first for counselling.. and you know what.. While I was talking to the counsellor.. I wanted to cry.. but I kept on saying to myself..
“Don’t cry.. Don’t let them see that you’re weak.. that deep inside of me.. I really don’t want to abort this baby..”.. I am a Catholic.. and in our religion.. an abortion is a big NO!.. never to be done.. so I said to myself while crying.. “This is final! I’m going to abort my baby!”.. but you know what.. every time I’m thinking of abortion.. my baby kept on kicking.. like she wants to say “Mommy please don’t do this!”.. Days and nights have passed.. and still I’m crying inside.. if there is only no choice not to do this abortion.. and guess what! God made a miracle..
I’m 20 weeks pregnant.. and they can’t do abortion in this place! They only do abortion for 19 weeks of pregnancy! Oh thank God!! So I said to myself! I will keep this baby and never ever thought of aborting it again! Whatever happens.. this is my baby.. if my dad can’t accept it.. so what! This is not his baby! It’s mine! It’s made with my own flesh!!
Then months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. and I wear loose clothes so that they will not notice.. but my mom noticed it.. and kept on asking me if I was pregnant.. but then again.. I kept on denying it.. until the day.. she and I went out to have lunch.. and she asked me again if I was pregnant.. then I said to myself.. “Tell now! this is the time! You can’t keep this forever!”.. so I told her.. she didn’t get mad… instead she was asking me.. Did I go to a doctor to have a prenatal check-up?! TShe told me.. “This is life on your womb!”.. and I said “Yes!”.. and to my surprise my younger sister was the first one to found put the I was preggy.. she run through my things and saw my appointment for an ultrasound.. and my sister was the one that told my mom that I was pregnant.. They are just waiting for me to confirm it.. but as you all know.. my family is not a happy family.. my mom and dad is not in a good condition… my dad is a very hot headed person.. so me.. my sister and my mom kept my pregnancy from my dad.. Everyone know except my dad.. so I kept on praying to God.. “Please God! Hear my prayer! please lighten my dad when the time comes!” and everyone was helping me through their prayers.. and I cried to virgin Mary to ask God to grant my wish.. My pregnancy due date is January.. and months passed.. then December came.. My mom kept on telling me to tell my dad that I’m pregnant.. Ok! may you’re wondering I’m 8 month pregnant.. and my dad haven’t noticed it.. Well.. I’m 8 month and my tummy is not that big yet.. I wear very loose clothes to hide it.. and I’m good at it..
It was December 24th that I decided to tell my dad.. I wrote him a letter and slipped it in his jacket.. when he got home.. to my surprise.. he didn’t get angry.. instead.. he told me that this baby is a gift from God.. it is a blessing.. but deep inside I know my parents are hurt.. but when the baby came out.. everyone just lightens up.. my family got closer.. my dad hot headedness was lessen.. everyone was happy.. yah! there are still complications in my family.. but the baby is here to bring happiness.. so I called my baby “A miracle from God!”.. My baby’s name meaning is “My father is God!”.. she is a happy baby that loves to smile.. she brings happiness.. Babies are cute! Right! So guys! don’t abort your baby! Whatever it takes.. Whatever fear you have.. it will pass away as years or months go by! Just think “THIS IS MY BABY AND IT’S NOT YOURS! THIS IS GOD’S BABY! WHATEVER IT TAKES! WHATEVER THEY SAY! I DON’T CARE! THIS IS MY BABY! IT CAME FROM MY FLESH! I MADE HER!”.. as you all know.. “EVERY BABY IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD”..=)
Hello Nathalie,
My name is Rachel and I work with Becky here at Stand Up Girl. Your story is so inspiring! It really touched my heart. You are a true Stand Up Girl! I have a daughter too, and they really are miracles from God. The feeling you have when you become a mother is one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It is amazing.
I am so thankful that you chose to not have an abortion. Just think about how different your life would be today! I can’t imagine now not having my daughter. Going to school and working, and trying to be the best mom that I can be is hard work, but it is all worth it. I would do it all over and over again just for my daughter, as I’m sure you would too.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! 🙂
Love, Rachel
A 24-year old mother, Ashley Bridges, made the ultimate sacrifice for her unborn baby when she denied life-saving chemotherapy treatment for bone cancer. Bone cancer accounts for less than 1% of all cancers, and cancer in young adults is extremely rare. In the United States, 2,300 new cases of bone cancer are diagnosed each year.
Bridges was only 10-weeks pregnant with her daughter Paisley when she found out about her diagnosis. Her doctors recommended that she begin chemotherapy immediately. However, in her case, this would mean ending the life of her unborn baby. Bridges said, “There’s no way I could kill a healthy baby because I’m sick.”
During her third trimester, Bridges was told that delaying treatment had allowed the cancer to spread. Even though she was only in her eighth month of pregnancy, she was told she needed to deliver Paisley immediately so she could begin treatment.
But even with multiple rounds of chemotherapy, her cancer was terminal. Bridges was given less than a year to live.
ashley bridges said, “I felt like I tried so hard to keep Paisley safe and do the minimum [treatment] to keep her healthy. The thought that I’m not going to see her grow up is really hard.” Bridges also has a 6-year old son named Braiden who said, ‘If you pass away, I want to come with you.”
Now, friends and family are helping Bridges take care of 2-month old Paisley during the day. Her fiance, who is in the military, helps her with their daughter at night.
The young mother has no regrets about denying treatment and choosing her daughter’s life over her own. Bridges said, “Paisley has been their ray of sunshine in a this dark storm.”
Friends and family have set up a GiveForward page for Bridges’ family. Here’s the latest update from the Bridges:
With pain in our hearts our beloved daughter, mother and friend passed away to be an angel in heaven June 23, 2015. We miss you each and everyday sweet girl!
Hi Becky. I’ve searched for advice from many sources and no one has answered back. I desperately need some help and I think that you’re the right person to talk to about it. I am 4 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together a very long time. But, I’m finishing up high school, and he is moving an hour away for college. We want to travel. We want to experience life and THEN, when we are financially stable and ready, have children. I’m 16 and he is 17. I do online schooling and am graduating two years early, and he got his GED, and went straight to college. So as you can tell, we aren’t average teenagers.
He wants to put the baby up for adoption, because he says we aren’t ready to have a baby right now. And I am 50/50 about it. No, we aren’t ready, but when is anyone fully ready for ANYTHING? And I know it will be harder on us, but I think it’s worth it. But he thinks that having a baby at this point in our lives is just a hindrance on all our plans. Thing is, I am going to go to college for little to no cost, my mom is very supportive financially, and I personally think that once we see that little baby, we won’t want to give it up. But, I don’t want to discard everything he says, and go against his will and keep the baby anyways without talking to him about it. He said I am supporting what I think with only emotions, and his opinions are based on logic. But I cannot think of any reasons to give him to support that I think we should keep the baby. I need help thinking logically! Because maybe I can help open his mind to what I am feeling and thinking if only I can get my reasons together!
Thank you-
L
*************************************************
Dear L,
Thanks for visiting StandUpGirl and writing in! You have a lot going on right now–a very important decision! It sounds like you have handled your pregnancy and relationship very maturely and with a lot of love so far.
You have a bright future ahead, whether you choose adoption or to raise your baby yourselves. I’m sure you can find a way to travel and live your dreams with your baby, although the timing might change a bit. Really, there is no “right” answer–you just have to figure out what is best for you and especially for the baby. My advice is to do a bunch of research. I would visit the adoption website LovesChoice.com and read about successful adoption stories. I would also contact an adoption agency and ask if you can speak with any mothers who chose and did not choose adoption (maybe changed their minds in the end). Then you can know whether other moms in your shoes have had the same doubts that you’re having, and how they felt about their final decision whether it was adoption or not. Also, have you started looking at adoption agencies? I believe that an adoption agency offers adoption counseling, and that might be really helpful to you. Also, once you start looking at adoptive parents and choose the parents you would want, maybe that will help you feel more peaceful about adoption, or maybe it will become clearer that you want to raise your baby yourself. Gathering information will help you become more “logical” in your decision-making. Of course, there is nothing wrong with listening to your heart (or being “emotional”). It is a mother’s gift to feel that strong bond with her child, and you don’t need to explain it or defend it. However, the more information you have, the more confident you can feel about your decision. Perhaps your boyfriend can walk through this research process with you, so he can hear other mothers and realize you aren’t the only one with those feelings.
I hope this helps. Please let me know how it goes.
*********************************************
Hello 🙂 My boyfriend and I have been researching adoption more and more and it’s making me feel much better about that decision. Thank you so much for your advice, it really helps to hear someone’s opinions who is not directly involved. I am thinking that adoption is the right option for us at this moment, but I want to be sure before we make any solid decisions. Again, thank you so much.
Save
Hello. I just wanted to shared a little bit of my story. I got pregnant when I was 15 years old, and I gave birth to my son when I was 16 years old. Right now I am 24 and I have a 7 year old boy. I’m going to have to say that I guess I always looked for something out side my house, I always felt that something was missing, I didn’t know what, but I always felt something was empty. And I tried to find it on my friend, boyfriend. I don’t know what I was thinking but I wanted to get pregnant.
When I got pregnant, it was really scary. My boyfriend never left me. And he moved in with me when my son was born. All the pregnancy I felt really sad, and even more when he was born. I got depression. I drop out of school. Time went by, and I got over the depression, how? I don’t know how. My boyfriend and I were together but didn’t have a good relationship. When I was 18 years old, I got birth to a baby girl, she is 4 now. And I also got depression, and as the first time, I just let time past. And after that my relationship with my boyfriend got worst. I couldn’t handle it any more. But one day I started to beg God to help me, I didn’t tell him how to do it, or I didn’t tell him to change my boyfriend, I just beg him with all my hard to take that pain away from me, that I didn’t wanted to cry any more. I beg Him every day be being on my knees. And another day I remember that I had and old bible, and I started reading it every day also. I didn’t used to be a church girl, and I used to hate Christianity. But someone invited me to a Christian church, and I said yes. I honestly believe, that was the best decision I had made in my life. I started to change, little by little. Now I didn’t used to fight with my boyfriend, I didn’t care if he went out with friends.
I started to go to church every Sunday and Thursdays. And my boyfriend saw that change in me. For the dirt time in my life I had found that “person” that I looked all my life, and hi was GOD. He made me so happy, that only the persons that had meet him, only understand. One Sunday my boyfriend accept to go in to church. Since that day he had been going to church. It took time but he change. He is a wonderful father, a wonderful husband, because after that we got married. One day God told me he was going to give me a beautiful family, and I didn’t believe Him,, but He wanted me it serve Him first. And I didn’t do it, and everything got worst. And when He change my husband and I started to serve Him, I did remember those word, and He was right. He DID gave me a wonderful family, a wonderful pastor, a wonderful church, a wonderful life. And I don’t change anything that I had been through, because that way I got to meet my God. And now I see my ex friends groom school, and I see them doing bad stuff that God doesn’t like and sad. I don’t change my life. I don’t say is the best way to meet God. But form me it was the only way., and I don’t change the pain that I had to past to meet Him. Girls don’t have to go through all this, they can avoid all the pain, meet God, live a wonderful life. Choose God first and He’ll give them everything, because with out Him, we are NOTHING!
God bless you’ll…
Save
First, I would just like to thank you for reading my story. Although it may be like many of the stories, you have heard, it is my life and without StandUpGirl.com, my story would have had a very different ending.
It was very different for me to find myself alone again at such a late stage of life…38 and pregnant. My daughter’s father and I were together for around 3 years. At first he seemed excited about the pregnancy but then he decided that he was too old to have any children and he left our picture.
I was happy, then anxious, scared and sad and all the emotions that come with finding yourself alone with knowing you are bringing a child in to the world.. I started to doubt myself and my abilities. I started to wonder if having this child was something I was meant to do. I wasn’t sure and most times, I felt alone quite often, even among-st others. I had some positive people in my life, but I also heard some things that I never planned on hearing, “that God was going to punish my child by making it be sick or deformed because of my advanced age and or because I was having her out of wedlock”. I heard things like, “this is the dumbest thing you have ever done” and “I can’t believe you are going to do this.” Most everyone I knew had something to say that perhaps they meant to be supportive, or so they thought, but some of them cut to the very core of me. God… punishing me or my child for me becoming pregnant unplanned? I know better, but when you hear it… it makes you question yourself and what you know to be true.
I found myself turning to on line look ups for being a single mom at this stage of life. How much daycare was going to cost, who would watch her, all of those things. Then I decided to look at all my options and tried to imagine what my life would be like with a new baby, and what my life would be like if I put the baby up for adoption and or the alternative, not bringing my child into the world. I was scared.
I needed something, some guidance and some answers… and by the grace of God, I found it.
I found StandUpGirl.com… and I found Lisa, a volunteer on the site. We started chatting and emailing and I will have words for you to try and understand, but I will never have the right words or enough words to tell you what the support I received from StandUpGirl.com did for me. I wish more than anything I still had access to our emails and conversations. If I shared them with you, you would be moved beyond words. Lisa took me in as if I were her own. When I needed to talk, she listened…to every word. She heard my stories and always gave me a response. One of the things that I will never forget and sometimes even to this day hear so clearly in my mind, is the one day she told me that my child was meant to be here and that no matter the situation, and what people think or say, there is a purpose for my child and that God wasn’t going to punish her or me. In fact, God knew her before she would be born, He formed her and He knew what she was here to do. Even if I didn’t, He knew how many hairs would be on her head, how many hairs on her head…that just amazed me.. She reaffirmed to me that God loved her and me more than I could imagine and that when I was feeling down, I could count on Him and His love.
That was a defining moment for me. I needed my baby…even at my age and my experience level and being a parent already. I needed her to be there for me. I needed her support and her love and her non-judgment and her advice. I’m not sure what I would have done without such a loving place as a retreat to quiet the voices of the day and the doubters..
The re-occurring thought that comes through my head daily, if I needed this support, how many other women, girls and teens need this. What about those who have no experience in being a mom; what about those who have no one to talk to and no guiding light? What about those made to feel bad or punished about giving birth. What about those that don’t know the pros and the cons of every decision. What about those that will never find StandUpGirl.com and need them so desperately. I’m most scared for those who don’t know about this precious resource. What happens to them, and their unborn children?
On November 10th, 2005, I have birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl named Mia. She is my love and my joy and my inspiration. She is beautiful and strong and talented and every time I think about having her in my life, it fills my heart with so much love that I almost can’t stand it. Not only does my love for her make me even more thankful for StandUpGirl.com, but it just reaffirmed my faith in her purpose here in my life.
She has grown and blossomed into someone who I know was put on this earth to bless other people. She is kind, caring, and talented. I’m so blessed that I get to share her.
Two events happened that were just verification of her purpose in my life. The first came about 4 years after she was born, I went to the doctor for a regular check-up and they found a lump on my right breast. After seeing several doctors and several tests being done, it was decided that I was to undergo a double mastectomy, a complete hysterectomy and an ophorectomy. I endured a 12 hour surgery and then 3 separate reconstructive surgeries after that. Many things have changed inside and outside of me. I no longer have my natural breasts, and I’m no longer blessed with the incredible opportunity to have children with the man I was blessed to have love me at this stage in life.
Even through all that, I realize that I am fortunate and blessed by God. My oldest son is 25 and my daughter, Mia is 8. Together they are my life and my purpose in this life. I know inside that my other purpose is to share my story any time and with anyone who can hear it. To inform everyone that there are people on your side to help you. To show people that you can survive anything…being a single parent…being alone and giving birth, surviving cancer. It’s all about your support system. StandUpGirl is the most amazing support system I can think of.
I know, without a doubt in my mind and my heart or soul that God gave my Mia. He gave her to me because he knew I would never be able to have more. Even though the situation looked bleak at the time, he knew I was prepared to be a single mom..,to love this little girl enough to get thru anything. I fully believe that he gave her to me as a gift before I was diagnosed so that she could be my blessing and my opportunity to have another child.
Another verification came to us of exactly how God works in our lives at end of last year.. We started attending a church close to our house that we like very much. Mia is involved and decided that she wanted to give her life to the Lord and become baptized. We talked through it and it was a great evening. After her baptism we sat back with the congregation and even though she had changed it was a school night and she was cold and asked if we could leave before it was over. I agreed and we stopped right by the house to get something to drink. We have been to this store hundreds of times. That night as I got out of the car, I recognized the shape of the head that I saw in the store, although I didn’t say anything. We walked in and were greeted with a smile. I asked Mia if she knew who it was and as her little eyes watered up she said.. my dad? I said yes this is your dad.. and they hugged, laughed and had some time to talk.. since then they have started to form a relationship together. He has come to her birthday party, saw her at Christmas and they talk via text. I guess we can’t ask for more than that.
I am at this moment cancer free and I believe and have faith that I will stay that way. I have a lot of things to do and my family to live for. That makes me even more grateful for this organization and the wonderful caring people that give of themselves to run it. Had I decided to take another route with my pregnancy, where would I be now? What would my life look like without their support and love and guidance?
We can’t let anyone go through an unplanned pregnancy alone. Who knows what purpose their unborn children will serve in this life time? There has to be a voice of reason for those without a voice. Young girls need this guidance and support. It is a life changer.. literally!
I will never be able to express my gratitude and love and admiration for StandUpGirl and what they have done for my life. From making me strong when I was weak, comforting me when I felt alone, and renewing my faith when I was doubtful. Even now they help renew my strength when they so graciously allow me to share my story. Through sharing, I grow strong because in helping someone, I help myself.
And in closing, I would like you to read the verse from Jeremiah 1:5 that was shared with me that was the turning point in my life decision:
The Lord said to me, “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb I chose you.
Before you were born I set you apart.
I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.”
I answered, “Oh, Lord God, I really do not know how to speak well enough for that, for I am too young.”
The Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ But go to whomever I send you and say whatever I tell you.
Do not be afraid of those to whom I send you, for I will be with you to protect you,” says the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I will most assuredly give you the words you are to speak for me.
Know for certain that I hereby give you the authority to announce to nations and kingdoms that they will be uprooted and torn down, destroyed and demolished, rebuilt and firmly planted.
Hi everyone. I am 18 years of age and I would like to share my story with you. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and throughout our relationship we have talked about having a family together as most couples do. My story begins here. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome)- This is where there are multiple cysts on your ovaries and they cause irregular periods and it is harder to get pregnant and you are placed on birth control pills to help shrink the cysts and regularize your period. I was attending university at the time and also working for the Christmas holidays last year December and on New Year’s Eve and New Years’ Day I started experiencing real bad pelvic cramps and plus I had the flu really bad with fever and body pains.
So I drank some ginger tea to ease up the cramps and the fever…. I realized that my cramps were not going away at all. Then the vomiting started and I was scared because I thought I had some real bad sickness due to the cysts. So…. I tried everything to stop the vomiting because nothing was staying down in my stomach.
My mother eventually got fed up of my vomiting and took me to the doctor but because I am 18 and considered an adult, I had to go see the doctor alone. So they took a urine sample from me and the nurse came and told me that she took a pregnancy test and that I am pregnant. I told her that she was lying and that it was impossible. So…. after leaving the doctor’s office, my mother asked me what was the problem so I told her it was gas.
I just couldn’t tell her then and then too I didn’t believe that I was pregnant.
So the vomiting continued… and I tried to stop it again. So I bought two pregnancy tests to check again, I took one and it came back positive so I didn’t even bother to take the other one. I was so scared but I still didn’t believe that I was pregnant so my boyfriend and I went to an ultrasound laboratory and I found out that I was 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I was soooo scared.
My boyfriend and I were surprised because we didn’t expect this and I was on the birth control pill and had the Ovarian cysts. We weren’t ready to be parents and we were afraid of telling our parents. Eventually we got the courage to tell our parents after we had spoken to the pastor of our church. We both held offices in the church. He was the Technician and Communications person in our church and I was a Superintendent and Chorister. The church held a business meeting and they dis-fellowshipped us from the church so we are no longer members of the church and in order for us to take part in church activities we must re-baptize. It has been a hard road for us.
The people we thought were there for us literally kicked us out of the church. Anyways after telling our parents, they were, of course, disappointed but now they are supporting us more than ever.
I am 7 months pregnant now and both my boyfriend and I are proud expectant parents looking forward to the arrival of our child. My boyfriend has been supportive and more loving and caring. He has a job that pays really good enough to support us and the child. I have decided to get a job after giving birth and go back to school.
I just want encourage all the young girls out there never to give up on themselves or their children both unborn and born. Children are blessings to us.
There are many people who cannot get pregnant and want and love children and would do anything to have children so count your blessings. God will see you through. Just pray and never stop praying, God will never give up on you.
I have had the worst experiences during my pregnancy. I was and still am being judged, I vomited for 4 months and even ended up in the hospital on drips feeling weak. I eventually heard about Gravol Suppositories and I take them now and they work really well so I recommend them to anyone who is going through the same thing as I did.
I have learned that as soon as you get pregnant whether planned or unplanned, your life is not your own anymore. You have to re-build your whole life around this new life that is inside of you.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and a great blessing even with the little complications in between. And even though there are major changes in your life, you can still achieve your goals.
I hope that my story can encourage and help anyone in many ways.
