I would like to take this opportunity to tell you my story in the hopes it might help someone in making their decision.
I was 18 years old when I found out I was pregnant. I instantly fell in love with the baby. I knew my family would react negatively towards the situation but never would have dreamed that they would completely turn their backs on me.
I was not allowed to live at home anymore. I was forced to live from home to home of my friends, I had no job and one more year of high-school.
I felt alone and scared. Yet, I had my heart filled with love for this tiny little baby inside of me that I so desperately wanted to meet.
I soon gave in to my family and did what they wanted me to do. I had an abortion.
After the abortion, I became withdrawn, anorexic and refused to keep food down. I took laxatives and diet pills…….I was slowly trying to kill myself and nearly did. I was heart broken and it took me years to get over and years to ask god to forgive me. The pain alone nearly killed me.
Now I am 28 years old and yes I still feel the pain. I have gone to three different doctors and they have all told me that I can not have children now. The abortion left my uterus distorted.
What’s worse is that my family has since changed their views on abortion and do not believe it now and that’s not due to my current situation.
I just want to say that it’s your decision and no one else’s. Believe in yourself and in god and you will make the right decision. If your scared…that’s okay. You won’t be scared forever. Just make sure it’s your decision and no one else’s.
I allowed my family to influence my choice because I was scared and alone and I regret that every day of my life and I will have to live with this forever and suffer with watching my friends and my sisters have children knowing that I can not.
10 years later
I’m so sorry to hear of all you’ve been through. You are right…ultimately, we are the ones who have to live with the long term effect and consequences of our decisions, but panic, pressure, confusion, fear, depression….all these things cause us to make rash decisions that we regret deeply later on. A lot of girls don’t realize that there is help out there for them during these times of crisis. There are places set up for girls to go and stay during their pregnancy and beyond if they don’t have the support that they need from those around them. There are pregnancy centers that they can call or go to where they can get help emotionally, physically and financially. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray for healing, peace and joy for you in your life.