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Well first of all I had a horrible UTI last year and it put me in the hospital and I had to have major antibiotics, I will never know if I was pregnant or not for sure because I never had a confirmed pregnancy, I was on birth control but it was too late when someone had told me about the antibiotics possibly messing it up, I had already had two children so I was very familiar with pregnancy symptoms and I had them all except the throwing up, although I felt like it at times…I had a very short irregular period and then the next month I was late by like 4 days, that night I had horrible pains that literally took me to the floor in pain and tears, I started bleeding the next day and I was loosing rather large "clots" and I believe I miscarried…like I said I never had a positive test so I will not know for sure, then recently in October I had a really bad UTI, I was no longer on birth control because my husband and I decided we were ready to try for a baby, within a couple of weeks of that UTI I found out I was pregnant…getting a UTI or a yeast infection is very common at the beginning of pregnancy…I have a heart shaped uterus (bicornate) and I am very prone to miscarriage because of it, I do not think that being on birth control was the reason I miscarried if that is what happened last year so I wouldn’t freak out because of my experience, it doesn’t mean it will happen to you….and just because I had a UTI when I got pregnant this time doesn’t mean that you are pregnant because you have one, every woman is different and the best thing to do is act like you are pregnant for now, meaning, eat good and drink plenty of water and take a test…if you are not sure of the results then you can always go for a blood test, I was 12 days late this time before I had a positive test…so just hang in there and know that time will tell what is going on…I know how hard it is to wait and not now if it is pregnancy or the birth control leaving your system… I truly know the heartache of wanting that baby to be there and finding out that it is just hormones… I hope to hear back from you to see what is going on, so are you and your husband ready to try at this point?? Best wishes and make sure you go to the doctor ASAP!!! Love Meg, you can email me anytime…. meg@standupgirl.com
Well to start off my name is Meagan, I am 26 and on my third pregnancy, I am no expert and I don’t give medical advice but I have been there a few times now…the best way to prevent pregnancy if you are not married is abstinence, it works 100% of the time without fail…if you are married then you and your husband should both go to your doctor to talk about options that best fit you to prevent pregnancy, so now, I was 7 weeks along when I had a positive urine test with my first and 5 weeks along with a negative blood test, I was about two weeks late when I got a positive test with my second and this time around I was 12 days late before I had a positive test…on the other hand my sister has been pregnant many times and shows positive on a test before she is ever late…every woman is different and our bodies all work in different ways, it is possible that you could be pregnant and not show at 6 days late on a test, the best advice I could give you is to get a blood test from your doctor or to wait a few more days and go to a local womens pregnancy center, if you need help finding one call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, it is a number to Optionline, they can give you the number and location of the closest venter to you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test and be able to help you make the next steps depending on the results…Feeling queasy is a pregnancy sign but until you know for sure just make sure you take care of yourself and keep hydrated and if you can eat make sure it is healthy, let us all know what you find out, we’re here for you…Love Meg
I saw your post sitting here and I totally understand how you feel…I have lost so many pets in my past that I have grown numb to the loss of animals (to an extent) and I actually have not even dared to have a pet for years now…the last fish I had died within 24 hours, I don’t even have house plants…if it can’t tell me it’s hungry or let me know what it needs it will die…I could make a silk plant fade and wither and dry up…on the other hand though I know I am not perfect but I think I am a good parent always looking to provide the needs of my kids, if they are hungry it is their own faults for not eating what was given…you did your best with the fish, a fish cannot tug on your pant leg and say your name 50 times to alert you to a need, and my guess is that it would not take 50 tugs to get your attention…I don’t think you need to worry about being competent to take care of your son because of the loss of your fish, if you are even questioning your abilities as a mom then that shows that you are constantly looking for ways to grow and be a better mom…I am sorry about your fish and I bet it is hard explaining that to your son but you can’t compare the fish and your son, it just doesn’t work out…I wish I knew the statistics of fish dying…all I know is that they are very particular and even in the best circumstances they will drop dead in a moment, your son is a lucky boy to have you as a mother and I am sure that you are going to continue to do better than your best with him….plus if you are not doing something right then he will let you know unlike the fish….hang in there and don’t let this take away your confidence as a mother….Love Meg
Hey there, I agree with kafina17, if what your mom said was true and that she would say you would never be trusted again if you got pregnant then there are a lot worse things moms have said to their daughters, I understand your fear but really if you think you got pregnant in October then you really need to get to the doctor asap, I got pregnant late Sept early Oct and I am 14 weeks, there are special blood tests they do between week 15-18 that can only be done in that time and to make sure that you and baby stay healthy you need to just fess up, face the music and Stand Up, no matter how afraid you are….I bet it is scary to find out you are a mom at 15, I was terrified at 19 but you know what?? the first time you hear that heartbeat and the first time you feel that little pitter patter of kicking in your tummy you will fall in love and connect with this child in a way I could never describe…this little person needs you, whether you choose to raise this baby or go with adoption this baby needs you, you are his/her source of life right now, especially if you are diabetic you need to get to the doctor ASAP…call this number 1-800-395-HELP, it is Optionline, they can give you the number and location of the closest Womens Pregnancy Center, they can confirm your pregnancy with a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test and probably even do an ultrasound, they can also help you get on a medical plan like state medical or medicaid or something similar depending on where you live and they can even help you find the best way to tell you mom and help you through this transition…it is 100% CONFIDENTIAL and they are very educated in pregnancy and all that comes along with it…I am so glad you found Standupgirl and I am glad you have shared your issues with us, you are not alone and don’t forget it, we are all here for you and want whats best for you…just take a deep breath and take the first step, make sure you are healthy and ok so that the baby can be too, make that call and go where they tell you, the sooner you get on medical the sooner you can get to the doctor…let us all know what happens…Love Meg
Hey there, first off way to go on all the research you put into choosing a form of birth control that works best for you and your husband, a lot of people don’t do that an end up using a form that can prevent implantation as a result rather than preventing conception. I am going to be in the same boat after I have the baby but I have not began my research yet which is why I am not as familiar with safe birth control’s as I should be, the hard part is finding information from a viable and neutral source. In some companies they have changed the definition of pregnancy to implantation rather than conception. (I personally don’t think non married people should use birth control because it promotes and condones premarital sex, but that is my personal opinion and I have right to that opinion with what I have seen premarital sex do in my own life and other’s….) Life begins at conception and not at implantation. Therefore finding out which birth control prevents conception versus implantation is an important factor and I think that is what you are looking for right? My best encouragement is to first write to Dr.Marie, she is much more knowledgeable about these things that I am for sure….second find the closest pregnancy resource center to you (call Optionline if you need help finding on in your area 1-800-395-HELP) They only offer birth control to married women and they probably have tons of info on the safest kinds for your family….it is so hard finding out which definition for pregnancy certain brands use, but I think between Dr.Marie and the Womens Pregnancy Center it will be a good start to find the truthful answer….Hope I helped…Love Meg
First off always make sure you let your doctor know of ANY concerns you have, never feel strange about asking him/her anything about pregnancy, this is your first time around and they should understand all the questioning…I have a friend who is very athletic and slender, she has such tight tummy muscles that with her first pregnancy she didn’t begin to slightly show until about 7 months, yes I was jealous because I was bigger than her without being pregnant than she was at full term….LOL, just the way her frame is and how tight her muscles were she just never got big, same with her second pregnancy and now on her third she is about as big as she was at 8 months at 5 months…LOL…then also some woman who are overweight may not show very soon either, I fall in the category of right in the middle I started showing at 4-5 months with my first, about 3 with my second, and now at #3 I was showing within weeks….I am just now 13 weeks and I feel like I look huge, all of us have different bodies and we all begin to show at different times, I think it mainly has to do with our build, shape, and previous pregnancies….in your case this is your first so if you have the type of body that conceals better then you probably don’t need to worry, but never hesitate to check with your doctor as I am not a nurse and this is not medical advice, just from one mom to the other, also some women who have a very long torso will not show for a while either because the baby has plenty of room to stretch longways…so there is my two cents on why you may not be showing yet, I hope it helps…Love Meg
The answer is YES…if you have had sex even one time protected or not there is always the chance of pregnancy. When you factor being 3 days late and the throwing up in there it sounds more likely, still you may not be pregnant. You just went through a miscarriage a couple months ago and there is a chance your periods could be messed up and with all the business of the holidays and all the food going around there is a chance you could have just gotten sick from that, with all of this said though you have already gone through one pregnancy that carried to term and one that ended in miscarriage, that is a lot both physically and emotionally for your body to go through in the last year…by the way how is your little guy??? I don’t know where you and your boyfriend are at with all the changes you have been through but have you thought about waiting to have sex again until your married?? I know everyone hates it when I say that but there is so much logic to it. I am pretty sure that 3 out of 10 (I could be wrong with the numbers) pregnancies ends in miscarriage, so try not to stress too much, if you are pregnant the stress alone could cause one even if your body is going to cooperate this time, I just want what is best for your family and it might be a good idea to practice abstinence until you are both ready to commit to marriage so that you are not putting yourself at risk for pregnancy and or more miscarriages, if you end up not being pregnant also think about your son, give him a little more time to be just him before having another baby, you are still young and healthy..I am sure you have plenty more baby making years, just take time to work on the family you have now and practice abstinence to assure not adding to it for a while longer….I hope this helps and if you go another week with a negative test then you should go get a blood test, I was 12 days late before I had a positive test this last time….let us all know…Love Meg
Hey there, I think you are a great friend for seeking advice on this issue. This is a touch and sticky situation that needs to be handled very delicately…First thing first though, getting violent back is never the right way to go unless you are fighting in a dark alley for your life and that is not the case here, it was very wrong for her dad to push her and especially while holding the baby and I believe that needs to be addressed as well, the question I have is that your friend is 20 has a baby and no job or anywhere to live…it was wrong for her parents to throw her out and to keep her child but at the same time your friend needs to find a way to provide for her child, I was the same age when I had my first baby and I had to do everything I could to make ends meet, it was only when I was 21 that I really had to start paying my own bills and day care and all the rest and when I was 22 I was pregnant with a second and I can tell you from experience that as a young single mom you will by any means needed provide for your children, there is help out there, womens shelters, state aid, food stamps, job training programs that pay you to learn new skills to get you better jobs, low income housing, food banks, gas vouchers, free bus fare where it’s available, hygiene vouchers to get shampoo and stuff, pregnancy centers where you can earn diapers by watching videos on parenting, they also have clothes both for mom and baby and other needs, there is WIC, the list goes on and on and on…at 20 years old I can’t see how a shelter could reject her for age and same with state assistance…I am not coming down on your friend, from the sounds of it she is going through a tough time to say the least the thing is though you don’t get kicked out for no reason, you don’t just not have a job and nowhere to live by accident…it is tough to hear when you are on the receiving end but when you are a mom you got to step up to the plate and face responsibility…I would be concerned if I had a daughter who was of working age with a child who was not working and had no where to live, I would be reluctant to let the baby go with her, is the baby going to be warm, fed, clean, safe??? Now I think it is heartless and cruel to not let your daughter come over for Christmas and see her son, but there is a reason why…have you talked to your friend about these things??? Does she get defensive if you ask her what the problem with her and her parents is?? There has to be bad blood in the family for a grown man to push his daughter around while holding his own grandchild and like I said that was way out of line and needs to be addressed but I think there is a lot more to this story than your friend is telling you, she needs to step up, find the resources and take care of her baby…I only say that because I have been there myself, it takes two to tango and if there is a problem with her and her parents I am sure she has played a part in it, I encourage you to keep being the great friend you already are being and help her to be accountable, help her find a job, or day care or any kind of resource that will benefit her and baby…every single mom needs a close friend to help out practically and emotionally but to not encourage her in being responsible for her choices and for her child is not going to help her..gently, lovingly guide her in the right steps to becoming more independent and to make wise choices regarding work and housing…that is the best thing you can do for her right now…I hope you can hear my heart behind the words…I didn’t used to make very good choices when it came to responsibilities and taking care of my children and it was the friends who cared about me and loved me the most who stood by my side and helped me pick my life up, even though I didn’t always want to hear what they had to say in the long run I am so thankful they loved me enough to give me a wake up call…Help your friend get her life together and then deal with the parents…Love Meg
Hey there, I just came across your post and I want to let you know that I cannot answer your question…I can only back up the info you shared already…Every woman was created differently and to put something like ovulation in a box and to trust what others say or have experienced is not a safe way to go to protect from unexpected pregnancy…Even though there is a majority of women who have a regular ovulation and are successful with tracking it there are always exceptions…The only 100% effective way to not get pregnant is by practicing abstinence, I don’t recommend that in a marriage because that could do a lot of damage..LOL…but I highly recommend it before marriage, I learned the hard way and had two kids by two dads before I was finally married…I decided to choose abstinence when I got pregnant the second time, It was successful and I didn’t have sex for 2 1/2 years until my wedding night…It may have been lonely sometimes and it took several months before I got used to sleeping alone (except my daughter lived in my bed!!!) and I had urges where I wanted to give up and just forget about the promise I had made myself but in the end it was so worth it, I never had to worry about pregnancy even if my period was messed up, I didn’t have to pollute my body and mess up my hormones with birth control, I didn’t have to worry about STD’s and such and above all I didn’t have to worry about feeling used or wondering if my boyfriend really liked me for who I was, I only had one boyfriend in that time and I married him, he treated me like gold and still does and it had nothing to do with what I did for him physically…honestly…I am not one to preach something that I know is impossible and I am not one to hold someone to an unachievable standard, but if I could go 2 1/2 years and save myself for my wedding night after having my past track record than anyone can do it…if you are at all concerned with unexpected pregnancy (and you should be if you are not married, still in school, or financially unstable) then I strongly encourage abstinence, it may not be the "fun" or "popular" way to go but you have nothing to lose by giving it a try…except a boyfriend who doesn’t respect your body and what good are they really??? Be a Stand Up Girl and start making new choices that will have positive effects in your life, you won’t regret it…I promise…Love Meg
Hi Carrie, My name is Meagan, I know how scary it is to find out you are pregnant and not knowing what to do…I was 19 but I could just about promise you that even though you are 16 you have a lot more common knowledge than I did at 19. I was so naive when it came to how the world functioned, I didn’t do my own laundry or cook my own meals and I hated anything that required responsibility….my daughter changed my life…I was going to get an abortion because that is what her dad said I had to do and because I didn’t know what abortion really was at that time…I had no idea, all I do know is that my mo and my sister encouraged me to keep the baby and I did and I am so forever thankful, If you have not gone with your friend yet I would encourage you to not go, here is a number for Optionline, 1-800-395-HELP, it is a place where you can call free and they will give you the number and location of the closest pregnancy center where you can probably even get a Free ultrasound, they are 100% confidential and will not tell your parents and they are educated in pregnancy, the risks of abortion and they can even help you find the right way to tell your parents if you want them to, the other place your friend wants to take you will not educate you on pregnancy, the information they give you on abortion will often times be false and they are not looking out for your best interest, a womens pregnancy center is looking out for your health and for your best, I have had to learn most things the hard way, I have had a rough life and I have also made many mistakes, there is nothing that I have been through though that has ruined me, you know what I mean??? You can do this, if you choose not to be a parent then let someone else be, have you heard of Open Adoption?? There was a woman I saw yesterday and I had seen her before and knew that her daughter was adopted, as I was sitting there watching this little girl hang on her mom and dad I just about got teary eyed…I was watching her little hands move and touch and feel, right now there is a baby in your belly, those little hands are moving and touching and feeling, even though you can’t feel it yet…I am 12 weeks along with my third and I am just now starting to feel little bubbly movements, it will take a little while to feel the baby but there is a baby in there and this baby can and will change your life whether you choose to keep him/her or not, getting an abortion doesn’t get rid of the baby, just the physical responsibility or taking care of him/her. The emotional turmoil and physical risks are just not worth the life that is inside of you…life doesn’t end with unexpected pregnancies, rather it truly begins…I do not recommend getting pregnant before marriage, (I have been there twice and my kids were the ones to suffer for it and we all still suffer for it now when holidays come and my son goes one place and my daughter is home alone knowing that her other family has no desire to see her) but if you do get pregnant before marriage like you are now then you need to face the music so to speak…your parents may be mad and even yell, threaten to kick you out etc…but they will get over it in time and love that little baby just as much as you will…give yourself some time to adjust, call Optionline, go to a womens pregnancy center and begin this journey to motherhood with all the help and support you can get form us here at Standupgirl and friends and family…take a deep breath and take one step at a time…you may not feel like you are getting very far but once you are down the road a ways and hold this baby in your arms and you look back you will wonder why you were so freaked out, it is tough I will not lie but it is possible, I made it and even do my own laundry along with 4 other peoples…LOL and cook too….experience is the best teacher if you can afford the tuition…it doesn’t have to be your own experience though…feel free to borrow mine anytime, I am here to talk and share my life with you and the ups and downs…just please slow down and think of this baby as your new beginning, not a burden or a ruiner of your life…talk to you soon…Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com
Just to comment on the post and to 11mizzLADY11’s comment, I knew and was right with both my daughter and my son…I think this time it will be a boy too, I am not 100% sure on my vote but I am leaning towards boy, especially with the way my son is acting…AHHHH….but as for the comment by 11mizzLADY11, a baby is never an egg…an egg is only an egg before conception…once the egg is penetrated by the sperm it becomes a human life…they sure don’t look like it at that stage and the baby can be enclosed in the egg sack up to like 7 or 8 weeks, the baby actually feeds off of the egg sack for the first month of life…with the baby I am carrying right now I knew I was pregnant before I was even late, I knew I was pregnant before there was a tiny little dot in my uterus…but even though the baby was soooooo small and unable to be detected on a test it was still a baby, not an egg…my first ultrasound looked more like the shape of an egg and my third one looked like a tadpole, an egg doesn’t change shape from week to week, but a baby does…I hope the way I wrote this didn’t make you feel put down or anything, I am just really excited about the subject right now because I have a little baby in my womb and I wanted to clarify the fact that a baby is never an egg….once conception occurs it’s a baby…Love Meg
I agree that after a certain age that age difference is not a big issue but for the protection of our children that certain age should be legal adult age, if you are old enough to vote then you are old enough to make those types of choices but I am sorry to who ever disagrees with me that a 24 year old has no part in a sexual relationship with a 14 year old….what ever your country declares as a legal adult age whether it is 17 18 19 then I am fine with that but if I ever catch some 24 year old man prowling around for my 14 year old daughter (still 9 years away from that thank God) he has a big surprise waiting…JAIL…This baby is a gift, a very special one…regardless of the age difference and situation this baby has every right to life and as a mom I know that you can and will do very well…let us know what has happened…Love Meg
I would say that something is wrong and you have reason to go the doctor…if you have been late for a couple of months with spotting in between and have pregnancy symptoms then go get a blood test…have you taken your HPT’s with your first mornings urine?? If you are pregnant then the HcG hormone will be stronger in the first urine of the day…also have you tried a better brand test??? Do me a favor..call this number Optionline 1-800-395-HELP they can give you the number and location of the closest pregnancy center to you and they can give you a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test….sometimes if you are so late with out a positive test they can do an ultrasound…give them a call and they might be able to help you with good ideas and resources….don’t forget to let uys all know what happens…Love Meg
Well welcome to the site…My name is Meagan and I help out on here and have had two unplanned pregnancies, I now have a 5 year old daughter a 3 year old son and a 3 year old stepson and I am expecting my 3rd baby but the first with my husband….I am due in July…You are in the right spot and I am proud of you for keeping this little gift from God…you and your boyfriend will never regret this baby…I am sure you will meet many other girls like yourself on here and find tons of other pregnant friends to walk through pregnancy with….I am here anytime you have questions or feel like talking…Love Meg meg@standupgirl.com
Personally I found out with my daughter when she came out and the doctor said "Its a GIRL" I wanted to be surprised even though I KNEW in my heart that she was a girl…I already had her named and everything….with my son I wanted to find out even though I knew with him also, I found out at 19 1/2 weeks and I was right…with this one I told my husband it is up to him if he wants to find out the sex…I am kind of hoping that he will want to wait to hear …."It’s a…." although I am pretty sure this is a boy too….my daughter wants a sister….Love Meg
At this point you are far enough along to where you shouldn’t be overly concerned with having the baby…we want the baby to stay in for a few more weeks but if these pains are pre-term labor at least you are only a few weeks away rather than months…if you feel uncomfortable don’t hesitate to call your midwife and ask questions…you may be a bit young but there is no reason to treat you like you don’t know what you are feeling…I am not a doctor so please don’t take my advise as though it is medical authority, but…like I said..right before you have the baby weeks, days, etc…your body will begin to prepare…there can be discomfort and pain but if you feel that there is something wrong you need to listen to your body and don’t take no for an answer when it comes to your midwife…she can’t feel what you feel, this is your first baby, you have no previous experience to go off, she should know better than to ignore your fears and requests…just take it easy and make sure you are drinking lots of water, water will help loosen joint and muscle pain sometimes…just hang in there, you don’t have much longer…Love Meg…ps have you written to Dr. Marie??? She would be a good person to go to for medical questions and answers…just click on Ask Dr. Marie and send her an email…
Hey there my name is Meagan and I came across your post here… I just want to tell you that you are an amazing Stand Up Girl… I know that you have a deep wound in your heart from giving up your last baby but honestly, you would regret abortion way more than adoption.. if you don’t mind me asking…was it an open adoption?? If so maybe in time you will find more peace by visiting and sharing photos…and if not then you can consider open adoption with this one to prevent what is going on now… I don’t know you or your boyfriend or your family so I can’t tell you what you should do, but….you have proven yourself to be a fighter, a Stand Up Girl, and a victor…if you want to keep your baby I have full confidence that you can provide for the two of you and you can be a great mommy… I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and I had months where I had a whole 38 cents in my back account but we never went without…you are already living paycheck to paycheck so you have learned to budget and shop wisely…the state can help with child care depending on where you live and you can always apply for food stamps or go to food banks….I have been married now for a year…I met a wonderful man who wanted to be my husband and a father to my two kids…maybe things will work with your current boyfriend and if not if I got married with two then you are bound to meet someone who wants to be in your family too…I know that you can do this but the question is how bad do you want this…are you ready to make major sacrifices, I learned to not buy things that I didn’t need, makeup, hair products, fast food, paper towels, fabric softener, you name it…if I had a way to without I did, I never ran out of diapers…I came close but things always worked because I put my kids first…If you have the motivation you can do ANYTHING!!! you can get college grants if that is what you choose, housing assistance, energy assistance…who knows your family could see your strength and step in and say "you have worked so hard and we are proud of you" and then begin to help…they have supported you through adoption and that in itself is a blessing, some family’s shun their kids for getting pregnant or try their hardest to convince them to kill their child but your family has embraced you and helped you to get this far…if you want your baby keep him…if you know that you don’t have the motivation then you are already doing a loving thing by choosing adoption…I am proud of you for what ever you decide…you have given this child life and that is so very honorable…you are a true Stand Up Girl and I know you have what it takes to be a full time mom…if I could do it at 20 so can you!!! Love Meg meg@standupgirl.com
Hey there bo-peep, I’m Meg and I help out here on the site..have you taken a test yet?? I would say that is your first step if your late/spotting….it is not 100% abnormal to be spotting because of missing that one pill, I was on the pill for a while because my husband and I were not ready for a baby at the time…I missed a pill and backed it up and then missed a pill and backed it up again, I had a very strange period…I started spotting 4 days early and then I bled for almost another week…I was so confused so I now what you are going through… on the other hand birth control in any form other than abstinence doesn’t protect you from pregnancy 100% of the time…there is a chance you could be pregnant…how about this..call Option line at 1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the number and location of the closest pregnancy center to you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test, plus you will have someone there to counsel you depending on the results…I know that you don’t really want to hear this because I didn’t. but…abstinence until marriage is really ad truly the best way to go, I was sexually active for 10 years and had multiple partners, it left me feeling used, unwanted and with two kids from two dads on my own… when I found out I was pregnant with my second I made the choice to remain abstinent until my wedding night…it was 2 1/2 years later and I kept that promise to myself and have never regretted it once..I had some lonely nights but anytime I was tempted to have sex I remembered the pain of childbirth before marriage, not just the labor pains and the pushing, but the pain of not having a hand to hold, the pain of seeing my sons dads girlfriend at the end of the maternity ward, the pain of being alone in the hospital on Thanksgiving while I so badly wanted a husband to be with me, the pain of getting those looks from others who noticed my two kids but the absence of a wedding ring…it is just not worth it…you are precious and your body is a gift for some lucky guy one day…but…don’t just give yourself to anyone…make him say I DO first, you deserve better…I would never take my kids back…I love them and they were worth learning things the hard way, but…I could have waited to bring them into a happily established marriage like I did with the child who is in my womb right now…I am due in July with a planned pregnancy, a wanted child between a husband and a wife, for the first time my dad was excited to hear I was pregnant…the last two times he didn’t talk to me for months…I don’t agree with his choice to ignore me and he never asks to talk to the kids on the phone and it hurts, it is not their fault I made a poor choice…compare the two and realize that if you are not pregnant right now that you still have the chance to stop in your tracks and wait to bring a baby into a loving marriage and your family will rejoice rather than groan….if you are pregnant right now then it is too late to turn back time…your family may groan at first but they will come to accept the baby and shower you and baby with love but you can still choose to not let it happen again until marriage just like I did….we are all here for you on Standupgirl and I am anxiously awaiting to hear the results from you….if you ever need someone to talk to I am here, not to judge, not to condemn but to guide and encourage and to share my experiences in hopes that you will not do the same as I did for years…but rather spread your wings and fly like butterfly who has just escaped the death of the caterpillar and was made new and given a second chance at life…I have been given my wings so to put it but I sure wish I would have learned sooner… Love Meg… meg@standupgirl.com
Oh Devyn…that is a very beautiful poem, I am so glad that you are letting the Lord soothe you with sweet words of healing…. Don’t ever worry about being redundant, there is a time and a place for every season under heaven…. maybe if someone got fired from a job and 3 years later they were still going on and on about it after they had already found a better job and all the rest it might be appropriate to let them know they need to move on and let it go!! But with you and anyone else who has lost a child whether from the womb or older in age that baby was a part of you and you have every right to share your loss, hurt, pain, healing, songs and poems…there is a right time to "move on" but that moving on process has nothing to do with not talking about your child, it just means that you are taking the next step in the grieving process and are able to function again and look to the future without guilt….You are free and welcome to share your memories and love that you will always have of and for Kennah and I can’t speak for everyone else but for myself I will gladly receive your words and never despise your tears…I love you and we will be praying for you on her birthday…do you have any plans?? Love Meg
Thank you everyone for your prayers and for your thoughtful words…well I went to my appointment and it took a bit but they found a heartbeat.. I have a heart shaped uterus (bicornate) and the baby initially was planted in the upper right arch of my uterus, that is a place that is very prone to miscarriage, well the baby has moved down which could be good or bad…I have been having cramps and with the baby moving down and closer to my cervix it could be a sign of miscarriage to come…either way right now we have a 6 week baby with a beating heart and we are thankful….I have another appointment on Tuesday so I will let you know if there are any more changes…good or bad…Love Meg
Oh Roxyangel843, your words are so very powerful and truthful, I don’t think I have ever heard someone speak of the precious gift of virginity with such right words….You and I both know very well the loss and guilt and the feeling of being used that comes with it but I tell you what…you have been given a wonderful gift of your daughter and also a gift of using your words to encourage others to make better choices…your post really touched my heart and I am so proud of you for being a Stand Up Girl and for making the best out of your circumstances to help others not go in the same direction…You are in my prayers and always remember that God is into restoration…He can heal those wounds and cause you to feel as white as snow and pure in heart….thanks for sharing your heart and I am always here to talk whenever you want someone to relate to…Love Meg
Hey Marissa, my name is Meagan and I help out on the site, I came across your post and honestly I became envious…you have what so many women your age and younger do not have and cannot get back, including myself…you have your virginity!!! That is not something to be ashamed of but rather to be very proud of…how many of those girls who pick on you have a disease or have had one or more??? Have any of them had an abortion?? Are any of them pregnant now and just don’t know yet? How many of them dress to get guys attention to try to make themselves feel wanted?? Do you want that same life?? Do you want to go to the health department and wonder if this time you will come back positive for Hep C or AIDS?? I have slept with more guys than I am proud to admit, I lost my virginity at 13!!! I am now 26 and I have two kids from two dads, I did however celebrate my first wedding anniversary yesterday, no I didn’t marry either of my kids dads, they bailed when the test said positive. I am so thankful I never contracted a disease, when really I should have… but I just had an abnormal pap smear, I may have cervical cancer…did you know that one of the causes of cervical cancer is multiple sex partners?? Even if you haven’t but your partner has had multiple partners you may suffer for it??? When I found out that I was pregnant with my second I made the choice to remain abstinent until marriage, I did 2 1/2 years went by before I had sex again and it was on my wedding night… Oh I felt pure, clean, like a princess…and I wasn’t a virgin…how I would have loved to give that gift to my husband…you still can!!! Yes it can hurt when you loose your virginity and some people want to use that as an excuse by saying "I want my wedding night to be enjoyable not painful" but…most girls I have met do not marry their first sexual partner..I sure didn’t… and they are left to feel used and unwanted…at least if you are in pain on your wedding night you are with a man who just promised in front of God and witnesses to honor you and love you until death, he is not going to reject you for having to stop if it hurts…I don’t tell many people this story but I think it has your name on it…the night I lost my virginity I was at my best friends house, she had a twin brother and his best friend stayed the night…well I lost my virginity on my friends brothers bedroom floor while John (the twin brother) was lighting a lighter and saying fire fire like beavis and butthead, how romantic, I obviously had NO experience so I am sure my first was not enjoying himself, I just laid there and tried to feel sexy and wanted but it didn’t work, after he was done, he pulled out got up and got dressed and left the room, I stayed in the sleeping bag and put my clothes on and then the 4 of us went to go hang out in the backyard..it was August so it was nice out even late at night…I went to stand by him and give him a kiss, he turned me away, he ignored me and then had John tell me that I was being too clingy, he wouldn’t even talk to me…my friend told me the next day that he took the condom and tied it in a knot and threw it in the busy street down the road…have you ever seen a condom on the street or in a park?? When ever I do I always wonder about the poor girl who just felt used….that was my first time…it was horrible and it left me feeling useless and wanting to do it right next time..so I began my 10 year spree of multiple partners and letting myself be taken advantage of just to feel wanted and worth something, but all I did was make myself feel worthless and unwanted…if your boyfriend loves you and plans on sticking by your side then he will respect your body, he will see your virginity as a gift and he will not want to spoil that gift for himself or your future husband… trust me, I know much more than I want to about this subject…. Just think of yourself in a white gown, something white and sexy underneath, imagine your husband unwrapping you as a gift, a gift that has never been opened or tarnished, imagine that on your wedding night you will never have to wonder if he will still be there in the morning, will he turn you away and throw the condom in the street, will he gloat to his friends that he scored a virgin??? If he does share that with anyone it would be out of pride that he married a pure woman who saved herself just for him…WOW what a wedding gift!! Don’t throw it away…if this guy loves you he will wait, if he lets you give in, he is only looking out for his own interest…not yours…have you ever seen the movie American Beauty?? The whole movie the dad is drooling over his daughters friend, she tells her friend the whole movie about the guys she sleeps with and hits on her dad…then at the end of the movie they go to have sex and she is scared and tells him that it is her first time…he stops…he just holds her while she cries…she thinks that she is not good enough because she is a virgin but he lets her know that he is not good enough to have her because of her gift that she still has…even if you are willing if a man loves you he will not want to take that precious gift that you have without saying I DO first… Please keep yourself pure…you have come this far…ignore those girls..they are just insecure and jealous…I am here anytime you want to talk…Love Meg meg@standupgirl.com
I have been beat around the bush so many times by case workers…just call and call and call, show up and insist (politely of course) on seeing your worker, tell them you need to get things taken care of and you want to better yourself and you need their help…if that doesn’t help request a new worker and begin the process again…if you make yourself known to politely be persistant then the next case worker is not going to want to have to deal with you or put up with you so they will get stuff done…that is how I had to be…just remember that you can pester them to get stuff done but if you are polite in the process it will make them want to help you quicker…Meg
My daughters grandma is 4’9 and she has given birth twice…I think the shoe size thing is an old wives tale…when your cervix dialates it goes as big as 10 cm, not very big huh…that is where all that pushing comes in…LOL..I could be wrong but your height doesn’t have to do with how well you deliver babies, I have another friend who was still in regular pants when she was full term…she is very slim and petite and you could hardly tell she was pregnant, she has delivered two babies and has one on the way, I think you will do fine, who do you have for a helper while you are in labor?? Your mom, a friend, the dad??? Talk to your mom about this and ask her to share her story of giving birth to you…it might help you get prepared…Love Meg
Tommswifey, you need to go to the doctor, if you are still bleeding when you urinate go to the Emergency Room…if you are having other symptoms along with a missed period and bleeding you need to get in right away, we can’t diagnose you here on the site and tell you what is going on but we can share some risks…you could be experiencing a tubal pregnancy, or internal bleeding of some other sorts…I am not giving you medical advise but I do urge you to seek some from a doctor…let us know what happens…Love Meg
