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hi…
it gets easier with time- thats sadly the only help i can offer now. i had a termination at 7 weeks, and it was also the only time i saw my little bean on the ultrasound. i was however 20-something years old and it was my decision.
it gets easier- you will not necessarily feel less guilt or heartache, but it will be easier to deal with.i hope things work out for you… my son is 16 and when he’s 18 i will help him find his father if he wants to.
we split up when i was pregnant, and by mutual agreement we decided to have no contact and i wanted no financial assistance. i wanted his family to have no kind of hold over me whatsoever.
it has not been easy- but when i look back at those times i know it was the right decision to make.
ciaohey there
i would say there are lotsa people feeling guilty for you already, and you should go with your instincts!
i am now 33, my son is 16, and he has never met his father. we split when i was pregnant and it took me years to get over the feeling that i was doing wrong by my son…
the point i’m trying to make here is that you are doing what’s best for you and your son, and i would in no way doubt my decision were i you.
hand in there- if things get out of hand there are legal steps too if you need to go that route.
ciao
angeloh my goodness… sending lotsa cyber-hugs your way!
i wish i could make you feel better with just words…
i would suggest speaking to someone about what you’ve been through.
its no small thing to lose a baby, let alone having been through a termination too, and i’m sure blaming yourself is a normal part of the healing process"…
god blessit does indeed hurt…
i was 24 when i had a termination, it was a little over 8 years ago. i was about 7 weeks pregnant at the time- and had just started craving seafood like mad- and i was pretty sure i was having a girl… even though i was trying very hard not to think about the little bean i was carrying because i knew the baby’s father was not interested in being one and we were on the brink of breaking up when i found i was pregnant.
that little girl would have started school this year (she would have been 7) and it has taken me many years to get over the hurt.
i know god forgave me long ago, but it took me a long time to accept his forgiveness even though i asked for it.
it does hurt a little less with time- hang in there girls.
hugshey sweetie!
i got your message about my damien’s picture- thanx for the compliment!
as for how did i do it? i’m still doing it, and i had and have my family and my church to support me… i could never have done it alone!
please mail me (my email is on my profile) if you’d like to chat or ask me anything! i’d love to help you if i can!
love
angelhi ash
i am 32, i was also pregnant at 16, my son was born when i was 17.
my son is now 15 years old and he is the light of my life and the centre of my universe!
i wish i was there to hug you and tell you you’re not alone, i’m sending you some cyber-hugs anyway!
my situation was similar, although i had my family behind me- my son’s father and i split when i was about 3 months pregnant and we’ve had no contact since. he and his family decided they had enough problems without adding the complication of an illegitimate child as well, so we agreed to split and have no contact.
the hard part was that we were still at school together, and had to keep the baby a secret as long as possible so we could finish the academic year (back then you were expelled if you were pregnant). i went into a complete decline that he wanted nothing to do with me and my baby, and he carried on as if this was a regular break up! new girlfriends and all!
now my son and i are dealing with the possibility of his father showing up when my son turns 18 (since he won’t be legally responsible for him anymore and because i can’t stop him from seeing my son then either) as well as the possibility of my son actually wanting to find his father one day.
my point is that you are not entirely alone- i am far away but i have been where you are!
i’ll be praying for you girl.
from
angeli see its been a while since this question was posted, so i hope i’m not too late in replying anyway…
this is easily one of the scariest things i ever read!
any teenage girl and guy who are in love dream about setting up a life together and getting married and having children- but for heaven’s sake- buy a puppy if you’re that determined to make a commitmnt to each other now already! you’ll have to raise it, train it, pay for shots and food, and share custody!
i know it sounds ludicrous- but please please please – don’t bring a child into this world to satisfy your own pink hued fantasies![color=#008000]{{{hugs}}}
i’ve been where you are sweetie. it’s going to take a lot of thought and prayer and support from family and friends for you to make a decision like that. it’s really hard to try and think of yourself and the baby and what’s best for both of you.
i am 32, and my baby is now 15 years old. he’s never had any contact with his father at all.
it was a mutual decision, although in the beginning i was prepared to do the weekend parenting thing with him. he and his family decided they had enough to deal with and said the baby was a bit much as well (i’m using my own words here). we then agreed that i would not ask them for anything and they would leave us alone.
it took me a long time to stop being angry with him.
i considered adoption as well. if i had not had the support of my family, friends and church i would not have kept my baby. as much as it hurt me i wouldn’t have tried to keep him if i wouldn’t be able to give him everything he needed and then some.
i’ll be praying for you.[/color]
