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Anonymous
girls i think wat im going through may be different from wst u guys are, but plz help if u can. u see, me and my bf are really in love. he’s different from any other guy ive ever met. we’re very happy together, and we’ve even talked about getting married. he’s really sweet and he one of the only ppl i have to be there for me when i need him. i love this guy with all my heart and he loves me too, really loves me. we’ve been together almost ten months and i guess we are moving kinda fast considering our ages(im 15 he’s 18) but he and i feel that we’re ready to make a perminate commitment to each other. we deffinately want to get married and have kids, but since we cant get married for another three years, he wants to have a baby now. i guess any normal girl would say no, but i want to have a baby with him too. and i dont want to wait either. the thing is though, i feel guilty about wanting to have a baby so young and sometimes i think im wrong to feel this way. so am i wrong? :unsure:Hey kiddo,
I know what it is like to feel in love at a young age. i’m not sure if you have read my story or not but I am a single father after the passing of my girlfriend. But even though you are in love. Wait until you are married to start a family. It is sooo hard to raise a kid. But raising one while still in the process of growing up is really really hard. And also if your bf and you are TRULY in love. having a baby now won’t prove it or "ceal the deal" true love waits and i believe you should wait until marriage to start a family. take care of yourself
AndyHey,
I know that right now you have this idea in your head, and you want nothing more for someone to agree with you and just to tell you that you should do it, but really, you shouldn’t. I know exactly how you feel and I can’t stress to you enough how much you need to wait. I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant and only 18 years old. My x-fiancee and I wanted a baby SO bad when we were together. We planned this little guy. We were going to get married and have this perfect little family. But then in my fourth month I started to get scared about being a mom so young. And trust me, it will happen, your hormones make you think crazy things. But the point is, I got scared and my fiancee who was 22 years old, left me. He thought that I didn’t love him, and I think he just got scared too. So please, wait! Get married, explore your relationship together, enjoy it, and then start to think about kids. At least that way you know he truely loves you, and is willing to stay by your side during all the ups and downs. You will have a much better life if you just wait though. And your child will also have a much better life, family and loving home.
Take Care
~Renee[/b][i] u are so incredibly right. everyone who has talked to me on this matter is right. i want to get pregnant and have children , but i want it i want it to be at least when i’m out of high school first!!!!! i didn’t really start thinking about this and how hard it would be to be responsible for another life right now. my bf and i talked it over earlier and wee decided it would be best for us and our future baby to wait. besides, i don’t want to be a statistic. u know a teen age black girl with a baby on well fare gettin food stamps. i want a better life for my child and myself. thank you ladies and gentleman!
~Blessings of Love~
Niquole(Nicole) 😛 :laugh:Please hear me out….
There are many different views to this. Is is wrong? Here in the US, society says yes. As far as person to person, its normal to have a "mothering" urge. I myself went through this same phase at 14. I had my beautiful baby girl at 15 – just four days before turning 16. I keep reading that babies are so hard to care for, and don’t get me wrong, its a tough job – not to mention it lasts NON STOP for 18 ++ years. But the truth of the matter is, its not that simple. If it were just "hard" to take care of a child, it would be pretty easy. What I didn’t think about when i decided to "not care if I got pregnant or not" was how my wonderful daughter would feel about being born to a 15 year old, and not having a completely stable life. Or how my boyfriend (who I was so deeply "in love" with) would REALLY be around for the REST of my life. We’ve been broken up since November (his choice) and four months later I am still hearing how much he wants me back. I didn’t think how my body would be completely ruined, how I would never where a bikini to the pool or beach…EVER again. I love Rhiannon. I wouldn’t give her up for the WORLD. But HOW could I have been so NAIVE not to realize that I would regret this later on down the road AND FEEL SO HORRIBLE ABOUT KNOWING THAT, GIVIN ANOTHER CHANCE I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN AND CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE HER AT ALL. (I don’t mean abortion, I would have never had sex in the first place.) You feel so BAD inside that the person you care most about and love with such a deep passion is the same person that EVERY DAY you wish hadn’t ever been BORN – or at least had begun life so much later. I am not going to tell you not to have a baby. I am sharing my story in hopes that if not you, then someone, somewhere, will be turned in a different direction. I’d like to speak with everyone who feels the same way, tell them of the aftermath. This is the best I can do, and I hope you take my story into consideration. I send you, and everyone else much love and best wishes.
Jessica
I posted this 3 months ago on the subject "BabyCravings" and I have not changed my mind. I really want you to consider what I’ve said. I was 15 when I got pregnant, and yes, my boyfriend was 18. He was different than any other guy I had ever met, I was more in love than anything I had ever known love to be, and I did not LISTEN to anyone who told me different. I was going to be with this guy for the rest of my life, and frankly I didn’t care if I ended up regreting it. You are not WRONG. God, you aren’t wrong. The choice is in YOUR hands though. The ball is in your court. If you’ve never listened to any good advice in your entire LIFE, PLEASE listen now. Do what I failed at and for God’s sake LISTEN. If the both of you are enough in love with each other as you’ve said you are, you will love each other enough to wait. I wish I would have.
Maybe you are really in love, but you are also very young and have a lot to learn. Growing up, I was "really In love" with the "best guy ever" . . .twice, or so I thought. It was puppy love, and your not going to want to here this but it might be the same for you. If it is true love great. Give it time, wait and see, aren’t you curious? Also having a baby can be a stress on your relationship. It cannot possibly ever be the same again after you have a child. Finding time to be together is nearly impossible. There is so much involved in taking care of a baby if you do it right. Between school, work and baby there will be days where you try and find time to shower and eat nevermind spending quality time with your boyfriend. Your life as it is now will not exist I promise you. In addition you dont want to end up regreting having your child like Rhiannon’s mom who should be embarrased by her selfish words and idea to offer them as advice. She regrets all the things she "missed out" on. You might as well who knows. WAIT!
[b][i]
I’ll Wait. I won’t try to get pregnant, but if I do it won’t be something that I regret. And FYI, I listened. 🙂scorpi266
E.C
I don’t think it is fair to call RhiannonsMom out on being shelfish like that. She has a story, a life altering experience to share and was being honest about it and she has every right to offer words of advice because she has been through it. RhiannonsMom loves her daughter and doesn’t regret having her girl, she regrets not having her later in life so she could have been a better prepared and more grown up mom for her daughter. Having a child at a young age has its consequences as RhiannonsMom pointed out. Women have a fantasy of what pregnancy and motherhood will be like, to have the perfect child and everything be perfect in the world ect…ect in reality it is nothing like that. It is hard work having a child it is a 24/7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, for 18+ years job. RhiannonsMom just wanted to express what beautifull323 would be getting into at a young age and that she is better off waiting. We all have our own experiences that we share with each other here (at this webcite) and learn from each other by mistakes that we have made and advice that we have to offer, so don’t be judgemental on others after all would you want to be judged? Have Love for each other,
Falon**sigh** I knew this would happen.
First I’d like to say: Thanks Falon. I know my daughter will understand what I’ve said when I show her what I’ve written later on in life as well as you
have."you dont want to end up regreting having your child like Rhiannon’s mom
who should be embarrased by her selfish words and idea to offer them as advice"I am not embarrased or in any way ashamed of what I said. My words were not selfish, E.C., my ACTIONS were selfish. I became pregnant for all the wrong reasons and I am living the aftermath.
Notice I didn’t say "consequences". This would inflict a negative idea upon
the life I’m living now. I want to make this very clear: I do not regret having my daughter. I (at times) regret the decision I made. I cannot – and at this point WOULD NOT – change the past.What I CAN do, though, is perhaps, make a difference. Maybe, say, help change the courses of others who, like me, would have had their children so much earlier in life than they should have (and yes, feel a little remorse at times). In attempting this, I am obligated to tell the truth. How else can I catch kids’ attention? I mean, if there were no negatives to teen pregnancy, why would we both (and others) unite in an attempt to prevent it?
To some extent, you’d like to have the same effect,
am I right? Why else would you have posted an oposing point of view to
help beautifull323 make the right desicion?"She regrets all the
things she \"missed out\" on."I only have one comment for this: I can honestly say, I have missed out on ABSOLUTLY nothing; I have simply experienced much more (good and bad) than an average teenager would.
I send you much love. Please don’t take my response the wrong way. I only
wish to clarify things, not argue.Jessica
p.s.
beautifull323, thanks for listening. I hope others will too.
[b][i] I’m endng this right now. I didn’t post this topic for you all to argue. This is just adding tension to the relationship between us. I have made my decision to wait and it is partly b/c of what Rihannon’sMom said. I don’t want to regret having a baby early and regret not being able to provide all the things I want for him/her. Thank you all for your advice.
~Beautifull323~hello sweetheart,
lovely you need to think about this long and hard!if this man truely loves you then he can wait to have children with you!i have been where you are, i was desperatly in love with my ex and i wanted to be with him for ever, he too wanted a child with me vey young and i agreed because i new that i could keep him if i had his child!so i got pregnant at 16 and it all change let me tell you!as soon as i saw that blue plus i new that i couldn’t and wouldne keep this child!it was the worst thing i ever did and regret it to this day!i had an abortion and i was devestated, riddled with guilt and regret!
all im can say is take a step back look at your life and where you are going!you have all the time in the world to grow up and have children don’t throw that away!dont live a life of regreats!like i said if he truly loves you he will respect you decision.
take care of yourself
x xPost edited by: SweetTea, at: 2005/10/07 15:34
charmedone7202
i think that you thinking to wait is a good idea. I was kind of in the same postion as you but i was 17, i was still in school though and me and my boyfriend decided that we were in love and wanted to have a kid and 11 days before my 18th birthday i gave birth to a little girl. Three years later and three more kids later he decides that its to much for him so here i am a 21 year old single mom of four and i just want to say wait til your married, then wait some more just to be sure, then go for it.
If you want to marry him, talk to your parents. With their permission you could marry him. But about getting pregnant, I would suggest at least wait until you graduate highschool. And make sure your guy has a steady well paying job. Babies are expensive and you need to make sure you are prepared not only emotionally but finacially too.
lilmama15
well sweetie im 15 and im 3months pregnant and i know it seem like oh if i have a baby well be happy together but its not always like that luck my baby father is there for me but its still alot of work because its not just about you it about what will be best for the baby and babies are expensive but if you decide to have a baby or need any advice then you can talk to me good luck
-ebony
You should wait until you guys are married to have children. If you really do love each other then you WILL wait until then. What happens ((*not saying this will*)) if you guys break up and then you still have this child to take care of ??
"Speed is Good
Strength is better
But what lasts is
Your charcater
Wait for marriage"Love,
Sandra
im 20 with an amazing 5 month old baby girl. im still with her father, and honestly my relationship with him is harder than caring for my daughter. relationships are hard, weve been together 14 months…ill do the math for you, i got pregnant right around the time we started going out. ANYWAY the point is, you still have school, and think about a job, if you dont have much work expierence itll be harder to find a good job to support your child. and trust me, if i didnt have a baby id want one, but id wait because a mother wants whatd best for her child, and im wokring hard on it. i work part time, go to school full time and care for my baby. im up til midnight every night doing homework, then up whenever she decides shes done sleeping, just think about it, because although its so worth it, i lay awake and worry about not being able to give her the world
[b]If u and ur bf love each other why cant u wait till u leave school with some grades honey Im 20 and have got a 15 month old baby and 10 weeks pregnant again i was in the same boat as u at the same age my bf was 17 we was together two and a half years we didn’t plan a baby but i still fell pregnant i lost the baby after 2 weeks which i look on now and think thank god i was too young being 20 with a toddler is so hard im always on my toes i love her to bits but i do wish sometimes that i could just be my own person again. wen u r young you r alot active but if ur boyfriend really loves u he would want u to have fun first.
angel_mom
i see its been a while since this question was posted, so i hope i’m not too late in replying anyway…
this is easily one of the scariest things i ever read!
any teenage girl and guy who are in love dream about setting up a life together and getting married and having children- but for heaven’s sake- buy a puppy if you’re that determined to make a commitmnt to each other now already! you’ll have to raise it, train it, pay for shots and food, and share custody!
i know it sounds ludicrous- but please please please – don’t bring a child into this world to satisfy your own pink hued fantasies!
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