My name is Samantha, I am 16 years old and have a beautiful 7 month old daughter named Rory, and I want to share my story…
Around February of 2002 when I was in 8th grade my best friend Alicia started going out with this guy Eric. While hanging out with them one day I was introduced to Kerry. I knew him for years but we never really talked until then, we became close friends really fast. On April 16, 2002, he asked me to be his girlfriend. After us dating for about 3 months we started having sex. After that, our relationship changed. It seemed the only thing he wanted was sex. We started fighting more and all the other things that used to be important had changed but I didn’t break it off. I continued going out with him, ignoring most of my other friends. Alicia and I didn’t talk much between June and October of 2002 because our boyfriends got into an argument and we didn’t know what else to do but break are friendship for a while. In October Alicia and Eric broke up and she and I started hanging out again as if we never stopped being friends.
November came and I was now 15. Kerry and I were still having sex. Our relationship seemed very strong. People told us that we were so cute together and they thought we would be together forever but I wasn’t as happy as people thought. We were fighting so much, it was just not working out anymore… but I still didn’t do anything about it.
Around February 2003 I wasn’t feeling well. I was 2 months late and always nauseous. So many things I used to like smelled so bad. I knew right away I was pregnant. I didn’t need to take a test. I told Kerry and he got upset and just said “no your not, your probably just getting a cold”. Since there was no help there I went to my friend, Alicia and she just said “you can’t be, you used protection! You’re probably just stressed from school. You were never regular anyway.” ..But I knew I was.
That Friday, when we were at the mall, I bought 2 boxes of pregnancy tests. I told Kerry and Alicia that night, showing them the tests with the 2 lines meaning “its positive.” I got the same reaction…”you can’t be pregnant, they must be old or something”. Even though I knew the truth I chose to pretend that I wasn’t pregnant. Every once in a while I would talk to them, saying “I still haven’t gotten my period” or “I feel the baby moving”, but they still wouldn’t believe me. They’d say things like “you’re to tiny to be pregnant. You would be big by now”… but I just didn’t get that big. I didn’t gain much weight and you couldn’t tell. I continued school and my normal activities. No one could tell and the only person who knew I was pregnant and believed it was myself. I felt so alone and I couldn’t face the reality.
Summer passed and school started again I was feeling so lousy the back pain was terrible but I still hid it. Finally on Thursday, September, 15th 2003 my contractions started. I was so scared and I knew my mom wanted to watch the season premier of FRIENDS. The pain was getting really bad I knew I had to tell my mom. I knew that I was going to have the baby soon. At 9:30 PM I went and told my Mom and Dad they got me to the Hospital. When I got there I was already 10 cm dilated.
At 3:19 AM on September 26 I gave birth to a beautiful 6 pond 7 ounce 20in. long baby girl named Rory she is the best thing in the world. I can’t even think about not having her. After I told Kerry that I had the baby, he got very upset and we broke up. I’m still very close with Alicia she is always apologizing to me for not being there when I was pregnant. My family is very supportive.I am going to night school so that I can get a job to support Rory and myself. The only thing I regret is hiding being pregnant because of the risk I took. I was very lucky that she’s so healthy.
I hope my story helps other girls because looking back on the choice I made not to tell anyone…it wasn’t worth the risk. I should have been getting pre natal care. I am very lucky that Rory and I are so healthy. Thank you so much for letting me share my story.
Well, ill be sending the story in the next email I’ll talk to you soon.
Sincerely,
Samantha
Dear Samantha,
I’m so happy to hear that everything is working out for you. You’ve been through some scary times, though, haven’t you? It must have been quite a shock for your family to find out so late in the game that you were pregnant. Yikes! Thankfully everything worked out okay. It is so important for girls to get the proper prenatal care. Girls should definitely not leave it that long to tell someone. There are so many people that would be there for them if they only knew what they were going through. I’m so glad that you are getting the support you need now. I’m sure little Rory is a beautiful little gift for all of you!
Take care!
Ok, when I found out I was pregnant it was in June of 2003 and I was 19 years old (I was three months). So, luckily I was out of high school. But it was a really big shock to the system because it really wasn’t something I expected. I’ve had times where I thought I was pregnant but I wasn’t, it was just stress and I’ve been know to skip a month or two without having periods. Hell, one time I went six months without having one but I wasn’t having sex, so we knew there was no way I was pregnant.
But anyway, I heard about other people having abortions and it made me sick. One girl at my school bragged about having six abortions’ and it just made me ill to my stomach. At one point in my life, I was pro-choice; I thought someone should have the choice to have a baby or not to have a baby. After becoming pregnant and watching a video on the baby and abortions. I knew I wasn’t going to part with my child ever. Because I wasn’t like that even though at one point I was pro-choice.
My baby changed everything and I became totally pro-life. Yeah, I had to give up college and seasonal work at a haunted house, even the thought of getting a normal job which wasn’t ever going to happen unless I and boyfriend got the money for a baby sitter. Soon, little Cody Bryan H. was born. On January 2, 2004, at 4:35 in the morning, he weighed 8 pounds 6 ½ ouches and was 21 inches long. (His original due date was December 22, 2003.) He was also the New Year’s baby of the area we lived in. He received a $500 bond from the hospital. Which he’ll get when he’s old enough to get a car or go to college. So, it will probably add up and the little guy will be set a bit. But for anyone who thinking about getting an abortion pleases I beg of you please don’t. I don’t care what excuse you come up with there is no good excuse to killing a human life. I would never give Cody up for anything and I don’t know what I would really do without him. He’s the greatest little guy in the world. I would be missing out on him laughing and his daddy every time he see him, him playing and squealing at his stuffed bunnies in the early morning, and that wonderful wicked smile he give when he has gas or is getting in trouble (like pulling the bumper up to see if me and daddy are still sleeping). Who would want to miss out on something like that really? I wouldn’t.
Just think about it. If your parents are mad at you and disown you. There are tons of people out there who are willing to help you. Just remember my story if you think about getting an abortion and how happy I am with my baby no matter what.
Jamie
Dear Jamie – my name is Lisa and I help Becky with some of her e-mail and I wanted to just say … thank you for your e-mail. I caught myself laughing aloud while reading about Cody – his squealing and his smiles and all that
you are enjoying.
It is truly tragic that we only look at our current circumstances and think that the only way out is abortion. I hope that anyone that hears your story
will realize that there are joys that are to be held down the road with a precious new life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving me a peek at the blessings you have with Cody.
Luv Lisa
I appreciate your website. Eighteen years ago I unexpectedly became pregnant after I married my second husband. He had two children and I had a five-year -old daughter. I knew the night I became pregnant. He urged me to get the morning after pill, so I called Planned Parenthood.
I told them the time it happened and they suggested that I was stupid for waiting so long.
Sure enough, two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. My husband harassed me day and night about the baby. How were we going to handle a fourth child. Now, we were both working and were very well paid. It got to the point I couldn’t take it any longer, so I called Planned Parenthood again.
I made an appointment for an abortion, scheduled for the very last day for an early abortion, twelve weeks. I felt it was the only choice that I had because of the constant pressure from my husband. Here I was getting rid of a child and I was already a mother.
How could I look at my daughter and tell her that her little brother or sister deserved to die because he or she didn’t fit in with future retirement plans or the fact that the older kids had to go to college. Who cared if this baby had a future? I cared and couldn’t face a future with empty arms and a broken heart. I cancelled my appointment on the day of the scheduled abortion.
If my husband wanted to kick me so be it. My child would have a chance to live.
Twenty weeks later I gave birth to my second and last child. She was born at 32 weeks and had a very rough start in life. She had heart surgery and went through a variety of therapies. School was a struggle for her for many years. But praise God she lived. After her birth, I met so many mothers who had lost their babies born earlier or later than my daughter. I considered her a miracle for surviving her difficult start in life.
I’m so happy to say that she is graduating from high school this June. I can’t imagine walking the streets or seeing other kids her age and wondering about her. I will attend her graduation this year and I’ll pray for the parents all over this country who are missing their children’s graduation ceremony because their children had no chance at life. I’ll weep at this graduation just as I did at my older daughter’s graduation for the children who never had a choice to go to school or graduate.
I’m still married and our daughter is the apple of her father’s eye. She is the only child he has raised from birth. If I can say one thing to any girl or woman considering abortion. Take it one day a time. You’ll get through it. Don’t let the pressure from other people force you to an action you’ll regret for the rest of your life. Cry out to the Lord , He’s there for you. When your child was conceived, God knew all about him or her. He has wonderful plans for you and for your child. God always provides a way, it may not be your plan, but He is there to see you through.
Mary
Dearest Mary – how beautiful your story is.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. What a joy it must be to seeyour beautiful daughter graduate and I imagine when you see her give birth to her first child … you will be in awe again. Every milestone is a blessing
from the Lord to see His perfect plan unfold in this precious life.
God bless you
Luv Lisa
Dear Becky — Hi, my name is Kortni. I was 14 years old when I found out I was pregnant. I had been raped by my brothers best friend, on June 13, 2003. I knew I was pregnant before I even took the tests. Just to be sure, I took one E.P.T and it came out positive. My heart sank, but then I thought to myself, oh these tests are only 99% accurate…I could be that 1%. A few days later I took another EPT test. It also came out positive. That’s when the tears started to fall. One by one they slowly rolled down my cheeks. I went and sat in my room and cried, just thinking about it…I’m 14 years old and I’m pregnant. I sat there and thought about it for along time. I can’t be pregnant… I’m just about to start high school, and what will the kids at school say? What’ll my family and friends think of me?
But then I thought, how could I ever end the life of an innocent child? Its not my babies fault that I got raped. I was really scared to tell anyone, so I didn’t, I kept it bottled up, until one day, I snapped and I broke down and told my mom everything.
She immediately called the police to start an investigation on the man who assaulted me. I felt so violated, not only had I just been sexually assaulted, but now I had serveral doctors poking and prodding ‘down there’. All kinds of tests were being done. It was so scary, and I felt so alone. I had no one. It was just me and the baby inside me.
I was also really scared about my dad finding out, I thought he would hit me or disown me.
So, lets fast forward a little bit..it’s about mid July now, and I was actually begining to get a little pooch, my stomach was hard… my chest was swollen and sensitive… I was tired all the time.I also had horrible emotional problems. Everything made me cry.
I knew that I had to make a decision about my baby now, before it got past the 1st trimester. I had 2 choices, abort or keep. I weighed the consequences of both. At the time, the consequences of having the baby seemed greater than those of aborting. So, I called Planned Parenthood, and set up an abortion for August 8, 2003. I didn’t get any sleep the night before the abortion.
When I walked into the clinic, I was immediatly scared. My heart raced, my hands sweated, my stomach turned. I was paralyzed with fear. I looked around, and there were lots of people there, from all diferent walks of life. Some dressed very nice, and sat straight up. Others were dressed in farm clothes, while others still, were in sweats. After checking in, I sat down, when I looked up, across from me was sitting a women who must have been atleast 6 months pregnant. I couldn’t even look at her. It made me hurt.
Finally they called my name and I was taken to a room with a counsellor. She asked me all sorts of questions, but she never asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. She never discussed other options with me. She just asked me what some of my fears were, and I told her my bigges fear was how I would feel after the abortion. The lady told me that all that would feel is releif, and that not many women feel regret.
Finally, I was taken into a white room. It was cold in there. It did not seem like a comforting place.The nurse asked me to take off my bottoms, so I did. I sat up on the table for what seemed like an eternity to wait for the doctor. Finally, a man in a white overcoat came in and introduced himself to me, and told me that I was going to
feel cramps and that was about it ( I was having a suction abortion).
Before he began the procedure they took an ultrasound. I asked if I could see and they told me that it was best that I didn’t. I asked if they could tell the sex of the baby yet and they told me it was too soon to tell.
The doctor began the abortion. As I lay there on my back, emotions flooded my heart. All I could think about
was “oh my god, I’m vaccuming my baby away”. When the doctor told me it would only be about 2 more minutes I started to cry. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I put my hand on my stomach, and it was soft again. I cried silently. I knew then, that I had killed my own child.
After the procedure, I was taken into a room and given cookies and juice. I just couldn’t keep anything down, I was sick to my stomach. I kept feeling my stomach and it was soft…my baby was gone…forever.
Fast Forward. Its now January 2004. I am now 17 days away from what would have been my due date. My baby would’ve been born the day before Valentines day. I know that Valentines day for me this year is going to be very hard.
I remember the lady telling me that I would only feel relief. She was wrong. I feel like she lied to me. Ever since the abortion I have felt nothing but regret. I miss my baby. If I could turn back time I would, and I would keep my baby. I have nightmares now, about my baby. He comes to me, he’s a little blonde haired, green eyed boy. He has my eyes. He tells me that he misses me, and we wants to be with me. And every time I reach out to touch him, I get really close, and then I fall, and wake up in tears.
Right now, if any of my friends were to ever consider abortion I would tell them not to do it, because I went through it, and it’s not going to make all your problems go away, it’ll only make them worse. It’ll make you feel worse about yourself.
Kortni
My dear Kortni,
My name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand-up Girl website with some of the e-mail that is received. I hope you don’t mind if I e-mail you.
Firstly, I am also a “Stand-Up Girl” as you are now a Stand-Up Girl. Here is a link to my specific testimony so you know where I am coming from. http://www.standupgirl.com/dearbecky/news-archive-12-10-2003.html
I have to say – out of all the girls that I have talked to or read e-mails from … yours made me have to leave my desk and weep for you. Though (if you have read my story yet) my heart has been healed, your story brought
my experience back too … as if it were just yesterday again. May I say Kortni – you are not alone in your experience. As you saw on this website, there is woman after woman that regrets her abortion.
There are steps that you CAN take toward healing your broken heart my friend and I hope that I can help direct you where to take these steps. Please Kortni, don’t let this just ‘hide in your heart’ for the next 10 years
like I did. Deal with it now. Here is a hyperlink to a site that if you go to it, you can click on the state you are located at and then find a local Crisis Pregnancy place and call them. Ask them if they have “Post
Abortive Recovery” groups and sign up as soon as you can. Let’s get you through the steps to help you recover. But also, share the truth with others. Maybe God will use you to share the truth with someone else that is considering this.
Let me know if I can do anything else. I’m in California -and I’ll be thinking about you and I’ll say a prayer for you.
Take care my dear.
Luv Lisa
< Jan.20,2004> 
Dear Becky, 
