lisa

Hi – well can I ask you a few questions? Did you have sex any time after your abortion? Because if you didn’t then that could mean that you may have been pregnant with twins and the abortionist only removed one baby. I’m sorry if that sounds really gross or scary – but that would be the only way that I would know that you would STILL be pregnant after an abortion.

Now – if you had sex after the abortion … then that would be how you got pregnant. I think you are very smart NOT to abort your baby. The pain of the loss is not worth it. I personally know. So – if you had an abortion with one doctor and you are still pregnant, I would HIGHLY recommend that you find a different doctor and get a checkup immediately. Please seek medical attention right away and make sure your new doctor knows everything so he or she is completely aware and can watch over you closely.

OK?

Take care and please come back and keep us posted on how you are. :unsure:

Luv Lisa

Well this is how it works. I’m not a professional counselor, but I have been down that road, so I actually lead one of these types of groups in the area that I live in. Somehow, when I went through the class myself, it was very comforting to know that the girls that were leading my group had both also gone through an abortion so they knew exactly what I was feeling. But what I saw in them … I wanted. What did i see? A freedom. A freedom from the guilt, the shame and the sorrow that I had deep inside of my heart. Sorrow that I really had no idea that I had. It was so deep and so stuffed down, that I really had no idea what or how to deal with it.

We used a book called "Forgiven and Set Free" written by Linda Cochran and it is a FANTASTIC workbook. It’s used i n post abortion groups all over the US. It is stting girls free all over the place. Including me and I would love for you to be one of them. each chapter represents a different emotion that we experience in abortion. Anger, depression, forgiveness and so on. I HIGHLY recommend either going to those sites and calling a nearby center to see if they offer a group with those materials or I can help you locate the workbook on line for a really inexpensive price on e-bay or something like that. Or maybe even a nearby bookstore. But I would recommend going to a group where there are other girls in the group. Somehow it just helps knowing that you are not the only one. Then sometmes someone will share their pain and you can totally identify. It’s amazing.

Let me know if I can help you with anything OK?

Luv Lisa

Hi I’m Lisa and I just wanted to share with you that abortion is NOT the answer. You already have a sweet love for your baby and even your mom would support your choosing life. Please please read the stories from the girls on this site. And from ME! Abortion NEVER GOES AWAY! It stays in a broken place in your heart and your baby will always be only a memory. You mentioned in another letter that you wanted to choose the baby that is alive right now. Both babies are alive, did you know that? That baby that is inside of your womb is a fully formed, living, breathing baby that sucks his/her thumb.

You said that you are about 12 weeks. Ohhhhhhhh please know that it will take 2 days for this abortion procedure to complete. I know some girls that have experienced abortion at this far. Please, please – this will be a memory that will be more painful that you can ever imagine.

The father of your baby will just have to take a breath and take a Stand and BE A MAN! Not to ask you to have to take on the burden and the full responsibility this tragic decision. If he made the appointment, let HIM go. Please know I’m not trying to sound mean or anything like that. I just know that if you take a Stand, if you tell your mom that you have decided that you are going to keep this beautiful little baby of yours – and you tell your bf that you have chosen to take a stand for the life of your baby … I promise you that you will be relieved. I think the hardest part right now is you are being so sweet and you want to please everyone else, but it is at the cost of your heart.

You said that your son just turned 4 years old. Please think of this. What would happen if you had chosen abortion for your 4 year old son? Can you imagine life without him? I know that would be too difficult to even think about wouldn’t it? But you WILL think the same thing once you are holding this precious little beautiful baby in your arms.

Remember when you held your son right after he was born? Remember what it was like to listen to him make those cute little cooing noises when he was eating when he was a tiny little baby? Do you remember what he smelled like right after a bath and as he slept in your arms, d you remember what it felt like to brush your hand over the top of his head?

That very same kind of baby is growing inside of you right now. Right now all your baby needs to survive outside of your womb is time. Time to grow bigger and stronger. All of his/her organs and body parts are there. They are formed and your baby can even hear the sound of your voice. Weather you talk, laugh … or even cry.

Please listen to your motherly heart. Choose life for your baby. Tell the father of your baby that you are choosing life and he can either Stand with you or not … but you choose to Stand.

There is absolutely NOTHING for him to be scared of. Only something for him to be excited about. OK?

Please choose life.

Luv Lisa

Hello – my name is Lisa and I am from the Stand UP Girl website. I have not been able to locate your e-mail address as of yet, but I felt this was urgent enough for me to post a Forum response ASAP.

Can I just say, that from the bottom of my heart may I say PLEASE let your baby live.

You have been through so very much. You already lost one baby and trust me when I say that loosing a baby at your own choice is so difficult to live with … the guilt is often times unbearable. You may see what I am saying and say "Wow! She is probably right." Which I can tell you are a very intelligent girl … but I have to say that you truly will NEVER know that grief, that unspoken pain. That heart wrenching reality that … you have allowed someone to talk you into allowing your baby to die. At what cost? At the cost of a relationship. You sound like such a sweet girl. You sound like you really care about your BF. Can I say this? If he truly cared about you, that you were his #1 priority … he would never ask you to do this. He is asking you to take on the sentence of guilt, shame and sorrow for a possible lifetime. Please, I’m not trying to say these things to be mean about him … but … well, I have been in the same situation as you. But you know what? I did choose abortion. Abortion changed my entire life. I did not stay with the babys father, my life took a turn down a path I had never expected it to because I tried getting rid of the pain through drugs and alcohol. Why? I realized what I had done. The very life of my baby was taken for my pure convenience.

Please understand that you are a wonderful mommy right now and yes – you do have a second chance. If your bf doesn’t want to stick with you right now – trust me when I say this … if you take a Stand. If you become a Stand Up Girl … I bet you will see him change. Even if you don’t, remember this is your baby. A living breathing baby and he says either choose your baby or me? Nooo – you would regret it. Please, choose life. Read the stories of the girls on this site that have chosen abortion and those that have chosen life.

Please e-mail me back if you want. I’m at Lisa@StandUpGirl.com

Luv Lisa

Dearest "Blu22" my name is Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website and letters like yours stand out to me because I know exactly what you are feeling. I know the grief, the shame, sorrow and the remorse. That empty place in your heart and in your arms that NOTHING can fill. Nothing deems to take that ache away. Another difficult part after abortion is actually sharing the pain. Not being able to put the pain to words and then when you share it … there are absolutely wonderful precious women that love you and are sympathetic. But only if you could talk to someone that has been there and is just as familiar with the pain as you are.

Well my friend – as other girls that have written to you, my heart so goes out to you. I have had an abortion in my past also. Unfortunately – I have had 2. You would think that the pain of the first one would have been enough to keep me from doing it again – but it wasn’t. :blush:

I’m so sorry about your heartache, but can I say that it is real and you have every right to weep. This is actually a good thing for you. But also something that is so very important is for you to find healing. To find a place where you can go and share with other women like you and me who have experienced abortion, have remorse and want freedom. Don’t wait for so many years like I did. All I did was bury the pain – and it didn’t go away.

I went through a book called "Forgiven and Set Free" written by Linda Cochran and I have to tell you it was an amazing tool of healing for me. What I can do is copy a link for you to go to and you can try to locate a post abortion group in your area. Please, I know this step can be scary – but know that whoever answers the phone on the other end is usually a girl just like you and like me. Someone that has gone through an abortion – yet she has found healing and forgiveness and she is there to share what she has found with hurting girls like you. OK? OK. 🙂

Here is the website:

http://www.AbortionRecovery.com

If you can’t locate anything – just send an e-mail on the "Dear Becky" webpage and put "Dear Lisa" and I will get your e-mail. I would be happy to help you locate a place that is close to you where you can find other women to comfort you in your grief like I did.

Please also feel free to e-mail me any time on the website. I’d be very happy to help you in any way I can.

Take care my friend and please know that your pain is very real and let’s find you some healing soon.

Luv Lisa

Dear Patricia – I am Lisa from the Stand Up Girl website and I couldn’t help but want to send an e-mail response to you and say PLEASE keep your baby. I promise you … that no matter what your mom says now, she will absolutely love this baby. Why? Because it is her grandbaby and he/she is a part of you. I am 41 years old and you know what? You are so blessed to have this opportunity right now to be pregnant. What I wouldn’t give to also be pregnant at this time. I know what it feels like to be worried about what your mom says. Trust me, you can never be too old for that. But you can also not be too old to hold the guilt for this choice for the rest of your life. I mean, you actually have a man that is supporting you and asking you to choose life. So please Patrica – you already love this baby. Give your mom the benefit of the doubt. Give her a chance to love this baby too. Please!

I hope this helped.

Luv Lisa

Dominican – I’m Lisa from the Stand Up Girl website. Since today is actually the 29th – I would like to say that pregnancy is not an ‘immediate’ thing. So if you just had sex today, you would probably not know for at least a couple of weeks (i.e., breast tenderness and the signs of pregnancy). Usually a girl will ‘think’ or possibly ‘realize’ she may be pregnant after having missed her cycle. If you feel that you might be pregnant you can go to a website that is actually on our website. Just look to the right of your screen and it says OPTION LINE and you will find an 800# to locate a place near you that may be able to give you a free and confidential pregnancy test. Until that time, I would encourage you that if you truly are fearful my friend, then you might want to consider not having sex with your boyfriend just to alleciate an further possibility of becoming pregnant.

I hope this helps in some way. Take care.
Luv Lisa

Dearest Carole – may I share that abortion is truly not the option. I truly believe that if you have your baby, your kids would be so blessed! Don’t you think? A new baby in the house is always so wonderful and everyone wants to chip in and be a part of it.

Carole, your case should not be affected by being pregnant. This is a divorce case not anything other than that. Your current pregnancy shouldn’t have any bearing on your case. But truly – even though it is a rough time, by having an abortion, you will just add to the difficulty of your life and your emotions right now. I hope you will consider life for your beautiful baby. Remember, that is your baby and if you can do it right now, then I would say ‘please Carole’ don’t make the same mistake that I made. I did not choose life for my babies and that was many years ago. I regret it to this very day. I don’t want you living with that pain. Please Carole – consider life for your kids baby brother or sister.

Please let me know if I can help any further.
Lisa