He pretends it didnt happen

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      Hi Everyone, im just wonderin if theres anyone else in my position. i had a termination on the 10th of march.i was almost 18, and 9 weeks exactly pregnant. i wanted my baby to some extent. and when i found out i thought that my boyfriend would be over the moon, but he reacted totally differently.
      i thought it would be him wanting to keep it and i wasnt sure. But the first thing he suggested was an abortion, because we r too young. he said he would b there for me either way but would preffer an abortion. the night before the abortion was booked, i called him and told him i wanted to keep it, i felt as if it was just him making the decision and not me. it should have been mostly my decision as it was my body. i mean he wasnt even going to come to the abortion until i told him i didnt want to go through with it. i felt pressured into my abortion, his mom said if i kept it then she would want a DNA test. my heart sank. she really liked me before.now she hated me and was calling me a slut! my boyf said he would "come for support" but deep down i felt as if he was only coming to make sure i would go.
      i felt it was the only decision i could make, i was totally on my own(my parents didnt know) and the people that did kno were telling me to have an abortion.
      The next day we went. i had a scan and saw our baby on the screen for the first time! i showed my boyfriend the scan pic, he smiled and asked if he could have one?(was he playing with my mind?!?!) but he still wanted me to get rid of our baby like it was trash.
      i went through with it, and it was the worst pain EVER, EVER, EVER!!
      Not to mention he left me at home alone, as his parents wanted him home! i couldnt believe they were being so heartless.
      Ever since then me and my boyf r still together, but he pretends like it never happened. i need closure, but each time i try to talk things over he says he doesnt want to talk about it.
      i totally regret my decision and each time i see a pregnant girl, or baby clothes i just want to cry. i havent been the same since and ive become very withdrawn.
      what i wanted to ask was has anyone else gone through the same thing, and how did you handle it??its killing me emotionally.
      thanks for reading, and any replies.
      i would be 4 months pregnant now.
      and to any girls thinking of having an abortion, properly think it through and decide what YOU want. it is a horrible, horrible pain u cannot control and i would wish it on anyone. please keep your baby and give it a chance at life.
      i didnt now i have to live with it everyday.


        :laugh: hi is this your first time visting this site? if so you have come to the right place many gurls have ben thru how u feel. I see ur situation like this
        I am sorry he is taking this the abortion the wrong way, but here are alot of people who can help u with the way ur feeling. maybe when u get a chance, look @ a couple of the stories ppl have shared. I mean i feel sorry that u feel this way, but look @ it like this, because you shared ur story, you can save a life. I girl who wanted to abort may change her mind after the way u touched her, already being there. I prsy that God can ease ur pain and heal from this saddening time.



          hi i no its not the same and i havent gone through it but i think im pregnant and im only 17. my boyfriend says he is with me no matter what happens but i no i will dissapoint my family if i am pregnant and kept it. im totally against abortion but its just i would feel like im ruining my life as well as the babys. also i could not give birth to it and then give it away. i think its unfair aswell. what do you mean by pain in the abortion. did it hurt? i dont mean to ask but its just my mum and dad would make me get it terminated and i wouldnt want to xx


            Hi, I am Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website.

            Ohhhh yes I totally understand your heartache and your pain. Firstly, can I just say when I read your posting – my heart broke. I hurt for you because I know. I know the feeling and the loss.

            It’s really so sad that so many people around us tell us "It’s the right decision to have an abortion." Or "You will ruin your life if you have a baby now." Little do they know … we already have a baby when we are pregnant.

            I remember the feelings that I felt like you. Like a pain in my heart that was so big – I couldn’t even look at it. It was too big so I tried to hide it. Why? Because no one around me understood. Not many around me knew … but those that did … didn’t understand. They thought abortion was the right decision and then when it was over – they thought I should just be going on with my life as normal. But somehow … once I crossed that path – everything changed. I could see more clearly how … my life would never be the same. There is something or someone missing. There is a gnawing pain in my heart that nothing can fill. Though I tried. I tried for years to put it away, to cover it or even to use something else to replace that ’empty and painful’ feeling inside of my heart.

            Ohhh you are not alone in your heartache and your loss. I totally understand. 🙁

            I’m so sorry that his parents were used as such a tool of pain for you. I truly don’t think that they have any clue what they have done. I would love to see you find healing and freedom from this pain and guilt. You see, I searched for so many years. Searched for a way out. A relief from my sorrow and my pain. I tried everything. I tried to cover my pain with drugs, partying, alcohol and even more relationships. Nothing filled that void. I was hurting beyond what I even could grasp.

            I would love to share with you how I found relief and where. After years of searching and even going deeper into despair … I met someone that loved me even though He knew all about my abortion. Yet He sill loved me.

            I don’t know if you know who Jesus Christ is … not religion … but Jesus Christ and a personal relationship. This is what finally set me free. Free from the guilt, shame, sorrow, grief, the unending and constant gnawing at my heart. All you have to do is ask. If you believe that He is God and was born of a virgin, He lived a sinless life and died on a cross to let you and I have forgiveness – then I had to ask for it. You can too.

            I’m not trying to Bible thump or anything like that. But I will tell you – I tried everything else. This is where I finally found freedom.

            Just ask Him to be your Lord and Savior and He does the rest!

            I also have a link that I’d like to give to you. It will help you to locate a center in your area where they offer post abortion healing. I did this group and we used the materials "Forgiven and Set Free" written by Linda Cochran. It was an amazing tool of healing for me and I would love to share that with you. Here is a link to locate a center in your area:


            I hope you can find something nearby that will help you.

            In the meantime, please know you are NOT alone in your pain. You have a lot of Stand Up Girls here that understand and you will see that with all the responses you will probably see for your posting.

            If you want, you can send me an e-mail or post a response right here. Take care of yourself and thank you so much for sharing your vulnerable heart.

            Luv Lisa


              I’m sooo sorry that happened to you. You just stay strong and keep your head up. 🙂


                Hi I am the girl who posted my story, and questions. Thanks to who replied, and to the last reply it has helped immencely!! it is hard to deal with my pain, but this website has really helped, as i have recently mooved country to get away from the pain. there is no-one here to help sadly. or thats how i feel. i also visited this site the night before my termination and that is what made me change my mind because i was so mooved by the other girls stories. i just hope that a girl who is considering an abortion will read this and know shes not alone, and there is help out there. people go through life changing decions everyday. i feel i have definietly grown up alot in the last 6-7weeks since the termination, and i still read the stories on here and it helped me get through my pain. whoever made this website it was a fantastic idea, and the best website i have ever seen on the subject.
                And for the girl who thinks she is pregnant that put a reply to my story, please think about keeping your baby, at the end of the day. it will be with you for the rest of your life everyday, other people will just forget because it is not their baby.my mom was 16 when she fell pregnant with me, i am an only child and my mom tells me all the time she couldnt imagine life without me. But you asked about the pain….if you really want to know im gonna say now…sparing some gory details for the faint hearted.
                first of all they give you a pill, the next day you have pills inserted through the vagina with a tampon. for me about 8 hours later it all started happening, the pain was there throughout the day, just light period pains. then the real pain comes along. if feels lke someone is kicking and stabbing you in the stomach and you bleed so heavily its scary and there is nothin you can do to stop it. you soak up like a pad in 20 seconds the flow is so fast. i just sat in the toilet for an hour whilst it was coming away. and the horrible bit is they dont tell you in the clinic is you see it all in the bottom of the toilet when you go to flush. i then got in the bath to ease the pain. and before i knew it the water was just…blood. i then turned the shower on and it all started coming out beacuse of gravity and i didnt make it to the toilet. i had heat flushes, passed out a few times.fell over the lot. then i thought it was all over but it wasnt. the next day the blood clots continued to come throught the day. then that night i was lying in bed. none of the meds i bought helped i started having contractions and had to go to the hospital.
                thats a long story cut short. ut it was bad for me cause i was 9 weeks and thats the deadline.
                if any girl reads all this please reconsider, if you have taken the first pill and have the termination booked tomorrow, dont go, your baby can still be saved, if i would have known that i wouldnt have gone the next day.
                i just hope sumone reads this and thinks no. i will keep MY baby.
                thanks x

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