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Melissa,
I’m only at 19 weeks with my first pregnancy. I can’t speak from experience. The pregnancy books I have indicate that the uterus should normally be about 2.5 inches above our belly button at 26 weeks. I’m not sure, it probably can reposition itself or feel differently when you are sitting and standing. Hope this helps.
Kate
Denise,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and prayers. That means a great deal to me! Is Ashley your daughter that is expecting? Have you figured out more about child support? I have also been praying for you and for your daughter. We’re waiting to find out more information. There isn’t much I can do at this point except for praying a whole lot. I’ve been trying to keep a positive outlook and not get too stressed and depressed (which isn’t easy) because that can’t be good for the baby or for me. I’ve been trying to focus on work and school and to seek out information on how to care for my son if he does have special needs. Thanks again for your support and prayers!
Kate
Let me see if I understand this correctly…You are on birth control and have been having sex using the withdrawal method, but one time your boyfriend slipped and ejaculated inside you? If you have been taking the birth control correctly and consistently the pill probably prevented ovulation and therefore conception. However it is possible to become pregnant while on birth control. The only way to 100% protect against pregnancy is not to have sex. I wouldn’t worry too much about being pregnant until you miss your period. If you are late I would take a pregnancy test.
I’m not sure what to reccommend about taking the birth control in the meantime. If ovulation didn’t occur (which is most likely) then taking birth control should be no problem. If ovulation and conception did occur the birth control could make implantation of a fertilized egg less likely. I don’t think that the pill has been known to cause any other birth defects or other harmful effects on a developing baby.
I can totally relate to your situation! When I was in college I had a couple of pregnancy scares. The first time my period started late but before I had the courage to go out and buy a pregnancy test. The second time I was late enough that I had to buy a test. I felt ashamed and embarrased about buying the test and didn’t want anyone to see me buying it. My boyfriend (now husband) and I bought one in the middle of the night at a grocery store. We went back to his dorm room to take the test since I didn’t want anyone from my dorm floor to see me take it. Peeing in a cup in his dorm room was one of the most humiliating experiences ever! The test showed negative but I was still worried so I set up an appointment with the school health clinic to find out what was going on. I was so terrified to tell my family if I was pregnant. They had always been so insistent that I wait until marriage for sex and I knew they would be very disappointed and angry. Luckily it turned out that I was not pregnant and I didn’t have to face that challenge.
I’m now 28 and have been married for six years. My husband and I are expecting our first child in February. We weren’t exactly trying, but we weren’t really trying to prevent pregnancy anymore either. My husband gave me a hard time for not wanting to get the test at a store where I had to have someone unlock the cabinet rather than one where I could get one off the shelf. I had nothing to be ashamed of but I was still self conscious of buying a test. I guess that is pretty silly, huh?
I wouldn’t stress out too much. I doubt that you are pregnant. I suppose that it is possible that you could be pregnant if he had semen on his fingers when he fingered you, or if he ejaculated outside, but near your vagina. However the chances are probably pretty slim. Wait to see if you are late. If you are, then even though it is embarrasing go out and get a pregnancy test to find out for sure. If you are pregnant your family will probably be upset and disappointed, but I would bet that in the end they will support you. Don’t rush out and get an abortion out of fear of telling your family. Everything will be okay. You’re not alone. Hang in there.
Kate
If you have switched birth control pills and had to double up on pills a few times it does not surprise me at all that you have had spotting. Missing pills does increase your chances of becoming pregnant. Have you missed a period? If not, I wouldn’t get too stressed. If you are late, then I would take a pregnancy test after about a week to find out if you might be pregnant.
Kate
Sarah,
The birth control primarily works by preventing ovulation (releasing an egg) therefore conception will not occur. It can also thicken cervical mucus making it harder for sperm to penetrate up into the fallopian tubes and it can alter the lining of the uterus so if conception did occur implantation would be less likely. The withdrawal method can reduce the chance of pregnancy, but there is still sperm present in pre-ejaculation. (Also birth control pills and withdrawal will not protect against sexually transmitted disease).
If taken consistently and correctly the pill is fairly effective. Especially in combination with withdrawal your chances of becoming pregnant are probably very low. However, that said the only 100% way to be sure not to become pregnant is not to have sex. Would you be willing to give life to a child if you did become pregnant? Have you spoken with your boyfriend about whether he would be there for you and your child if you became pregnant? I would think about these things and talk to your partner when making decisions about sex in your relationship. Best Wishes.
Kate
Lynn,
My doctor lists Emetrol, vitamin B6, and unisom as safe to take for nausea. She lists Tums as safe to take for heartburn and indigestion. I have found that peppermints, lemon drops, and ginger candy help a little with nausea, but I’m not sure about indigestion (actually I bet ginger would help). I don’t know much about the antacid you listed. I do know that the pregnancy books I have read have warned about herbal teas and herbal remedies. I would ask your doctor before taking anything you have a question about.
Kate
Heather,
If you went to your doctor and he/she? did a test that was negative and didn’t seem to think you were pregnant, then I would guess that you are probably not pregnant. (unless you tested too soon to detect the pregnancy). Did the doctor give you any advice about your cramping and symptoms? Perhaps there are other reasons for your cycle being irregular. If you still are having problems and haven’t started by the time for your next period I would take another test or go back to the doctor and have a blood test done.
Kate
Mez,
I’m not sure what is going on. Perhaps the level of HCG hormone is very low and wasn’t enough to get a second positive result with the second test?? I would see a doctor and see if they could do a blood test which is more accurate.
Kate
Liz,
Wow. If you’re normally regular and you haven’t had a period in almost four months that sounds like it could be a problem. Have you taken a pregnancy test? I’ve never been to China, but I would guess that you would be able to buy a home pregnancy test. If not I think that you could order one online. Either result I would try to find a doctor that speaks English if possible to get checked out. Good luck!
Kate
Shevon,
I was wondering how you were doing. I hadn’t heard from you in a while. I’m glad that you have decided to have this little baby. I know it made things seem more tangible and real when I finally got to see an ultrasound of my son at 18 weeks. I still hope and pray that your mom will change her mind and become more supportive, but that doesn’t sound likely. Was your mom there when you had the ultrasound? How did she react? Look for as many sources of outside help as possible. I know how lonely and scary this time is for you, but God is definitely on your side. If you ever need a friend to listen I am here. Good luck.
Kate
It may be a little scary, but you should really wait to see if you miss your period and take a test if you are late. I don’t think a little spotting when you first start the birth control pill is unusual. I had an extremely irregular cycle before I was on birth control. With first one I was prescribed I had quite a bit of spotting and also broke out in rashes. The doctor switched to a different brand and I was fine. Anyways, the best way to know for sure is to take a test or to see your doctor. Good luck.
Kate
I’m glad that you decided to have your baby and that your bf Mike is being supportive. That makes things a bit easier. Whether you decide to go with adoption or raising the child yourself it won’t be easy, but there are resources out there to help. I’m sure that both of your families will come around and be more supportive. The pregnancy probably came as much of a shock to them as it did to you. Hang in there- you’re not alone.
Kate
KiraJade,
Thanks for your support. That means a lot to me! By the way, I forgot to ask, what you are studing in college?
Kate
Brandi,
I’m sorry you’re husband is acting so irresponsibly and treating you so badly. I hope you listen to your family and decide not to go through with an abortion. There are resources out there that can help you financially. Also it sounds like your family will be there with support. If you can’t handle raising another child, like Julie said adoption is a wonderful option. You could even chose to have an open adoption in which you could still have contact with your child. I’m not trying to lay on a guilt trip, but by 14 weeks your baby is already pretty developed. Before you go through with an abortion please read the stories of women on this site that are dealing with the pain of an abortion. Abortion may seem like an easy solution, but it is a lot more complicated than it seems on the surface. You do have support and you are not alone.
Kate
Sara,
Have you taken a pregnancy test to determine if you are pregnant again? I would take a test, or even better talk to your doctor. The sooner you find out for sure the better it will probably be for you and for the baby. I don’t know if there are any other medications for your health problems that do not have birth defects. It sounds like a very difficult situation. If you are pregnant, adoption sounds like it could be a good option. Maybe you’re not pregnant at this time. If you are see your doctor right away! You need to consider your health needs. I hope there is a way to meet the health needs of both you and the child. I will be thinking of and praying for you!
Kate
Kez,
I’m not sure when you could/should start taking birth control pills again- perhaps you should ask your doctor. Usually birth control pills work to prevent conception by preventing ovulation. They also thicken mucus to make it harder for sprem to reach the egg. However if ovulation did occur and conception took place they can also have the same effect of the morning after pill of making it harder for the fertilized egg to implant in the uterus. I am pregnant now and so I am obviously not on birth control at the moment. I started taking bc almost as much to control my extremely irregular cycle as to prevent pregnancy. (I don’t have any moral qualms with preventing conception, but my husband and I usually used condoms during what would be the most fertile times just in case ovulating occurred, since I felt morally uneasy about the idea of preventing implantation of a very early pregnancy – I’m not making any judgements about anybody else or telling anyone else how to believe or feel, just sharing my feelings).
My doctor advised that my husband and I quit taking birth control at least 2 months before trying to become pregnant, but it was less than that before we were pregnant. Many women become pregnant while on birth control and have healthy pregnancies. I would wait and see if you miss your period and take the pregnancy test. If it is negative you could probably start taking pills again but I think you might need to use a back-up method for a while (read the directions). If you are pregnant I doubt that the birth control will have harmed the baby. In the meantime try to relax. You might not be pregnant. Good luck.
Kate
Rebbie,
You’re right. It is very hard to pinpoint an exact due date due to a number of factors. Most babies are not born on their actual due date, but the due date gives a good estimate of when to expect delivery. Most babies are born within two weeks before or two weeks after their estimated due date. This is a pretty wide range. Most doctors count approximately 40 weeks from the first day of the last period. In most cases conception occurs roughly two weeks later. It is kind of confusing.
Kate
Christina,
I can’t give you a statistical figure, but it is possible that you might be pregnant. It would probably be too early to take a test at this point though. Wait until you actually miss your period (or maybe even a week later if your are still late to take a pregnancy test). I understand your worry, but try to relax until you know that you are pregnant. Will your bf be supportive of you and the baby if the result is positive? I would stop having unportected sex if you both do not want to become pregnant. Good luck.
Kate
Well, I had my appointment with the high risk ob/gyn today for more ultrasounds. I thought they were going to do a 3d ultrasound but it was just a regular ultrasound. I was hoping that the first scan would be only a scare…unfortunately that is not the case. The doctor said that there is definite hydrocephalus (sp?), meaning that there is water building up on the baby’s brain due to a blockage preventing draining. Also measurement for the brain ventricles was 12 mm (8 is average, over 10 is considered problematic). The doctor said that the risks of miscarriage or premature delivery could be high. He said that if the fluid continues to build up that I would probably need to deliver by cesarean section at a hospital in Omaha where they could do emergency surgery shortly following birth to put in a drainage shunt into the baby’s skull to drain fluid. He said that the risks of infection and miscarriage from fetal surgery outweigh any prognosis for improvement and there is not much that can be done to correct the problem until the baby is born. It is too early to know the extent of damage we are looking at. If the problem corrects itself the damage already done could be minimal. If the fluid build up gets worse or if the brain doesn’t grow into the space there could be serious mental and physical defects and the child may not have a good prognosis on survival. When the doctor asked about what we wanted to do and asked if we were considering termination I just broke down sobbing. I said I don’t want to do that. He said he was glad to hear that, but he was legally required to mention it as an option. The doctor did an amniocentecis to test for genetic abnormalities, but we won’t know the results for another 7-10 days. (it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but having a big needle through your abdomen/uterus is not fun! Then I had to have a shot in the rear because I am Rh negative!) The doctor wants me to come in for ultrasounds every two weeks to monitor the pregnancy. I feel so helpless not able to do anything to help my son! It was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever had to make to call my parents and let them know that their little grandson is facing some pretty tough obstacles. I love my son and want everything to be OK. I’m pretty much a nervous wreckI don’t know how many of you out there believe in God, but I would appreciate all the prayers for my son as possible. Also if anyone has gone through a similar experience please let me know. Peace.
Kate
Hi KiraJade,
I’m glad you found my advice helpful. I don’t have all the answers but I’m here to talk and listen anytime you need it. My undergrad degree was in environmental studies with a minor in art, but I am working on my masters in textile design. I am very interested in quilting, fabric dying, and fiber art.
After the first ultrasound I thought everything was OK with my son. Unfortunately, that appears to not be the case. I had an appointment with a high risk ob/gyn today for more ultrasounds and there are some fairly serious brain abnormalities, and not much that can be done but to hope and pray for the best. It sounds like the pregnancy is pretty high risk and he will likely face surgery and special needs when he is born, but there is still a chance that the damage could be minimal. i’m pretty much a nervous wreck! So is my husband. I have faith that he will eventually manage to quit smoking but today was obviously not the day.
Kate
Zora,
The spotting could have been implantation bleeding, but could have been something else. It is probably too early to take a pregnancy test. The results are usually more accurate after you have actually missed a period. I would try not to stress about it too much, but if you do miss your period I would wait a week and take a pregnancy test.
Kate
Jessica,
Perhaps it is too early to detect the level of hormone necessary to trip a positive pregnancy result. Or perhaps you’re not pregnant and there may be other reasons for your symptoms. If you are still late in another week I would take another test, or even better see your doctor to find out what is going on (a blood test can detect lower levels than urine tests.) Good luck.
Kate
Marie,
I can understand the financial concerns about waiting until insurance comes. However waiting a month could potentially cause serious health risks to you and the baby. Maybe you could contact Birthright or a local crisis pregnancy center and they could help you with some financial help or point you to a clinic that could have an appointment at low cost. I’m not sure. Even though it might be expensive I think it would be worth it to get some medical attention. Good luck.
Kate
Carly,
Congratulations! I’m glad to hear that your boyfriend is being supportive, caring and responsible for the pregnancy. Raising children within a loving marriage with a father and mother is obviously the ideal situation. I think that it will be good for your baby’s father to be in your life and in your child’s life. However, marriage is wonderful, but sometimes difficult. If you aren’t sure you love him or have doubts about marriage don’t rush the decision because of the pregnancy. Marriage is not a decision to be taken lightly.
You both sound like you are taking a mature, responsible approach to the situation. You’re relatives may be upset and dissapointed at first, but I bet they will come around after a little while and be supportive of you. I’m not sure how to tell them. When I was younger and had a couple of pregnancy scares I dreaded the thought of having to tell my family. This time both my family and my husband’s family were practically begging for grandchildren so it wasn’t difficult to give them the news. Would it help for your boyfriend to be with you to break the news about your pregnancy and engagement to your relatives? I would probably set down together and share the news. At least he could be there for support if things get rough.
Kate
