Dear Mommy,
I know I did not get the chance to stay with you for long… but I felt your love for me. And I love you with every bit of my tiny heart. I know you miss me, but Mommy, please don’t cry. I am happy and healthy and laughing where I am. There are no tears here. I can’t wait to see you when you get here! You can rock me in your lap, and sing me to sleep. You’ll get to hear me call you “mama” and we will be together forever. Please be strong for me, mommy. I know you wanted me to stay with you, but I’m in a better place now. God wanted me to be with Him and all the angels… but I’m always with you too, Mommy. I’m in your heart, and when you smile, I’m smiling too 🙂 When you laugh, I giggle. When you cry, I am so sad. Keep trusting God Mommy, he knows what is best. This is the place that He wanted me to be… and He whispered in my ear the plans he has for you. Oh Mommy, I wish you could know what He has planned for the rest of your life. It’s so amazing, so keep hoping.. it may not seem like it right now mommy, but you will find happiness again. I will be here waiting for you.. and He will hold me in His arms until the time comes for you to be with me again. You can miss me Mommy, because I miss you too, but don’t stop living. You have to keep on going… for me. I love you so much Mommy!!
Until we meet again…
-Your little guardian angel
I close my eyes and drift away, and find you waiting there for me. Your deep blue eyes, your warm gentle hands, your sweet soft smile. I’ve longed for you for what seems like an eternity. And now here you are. calling out for me.
Begging me to come to you, because you can’t do without. You can’t breathe, you can’t live without me by your side. I’m the one your heart loves… a fact that you can no longer try to hide.
My skin embraces your fingers as you lightly brush them across my cheek. My lips melt into yours as you pull me closer still. It feels like the very first time we touched… So lost in this moment, you ask me if I love you. I say I always will.
I feel the warmth of your love consume my frostbitten heart. Our time is finally here, like I’ve prayed for, we’ll have a new start.
then suddenly the sun fades, your hands drop, the warmth chills, your kiss stops. And you vanish from me. As I open my teary eyes, I realize that I have just experienced a horrible tragedy. Reality sets in. Leaving no hint of sunshine. Not even a gleam.
Every bit of this beautiful moment with you, my sweetheart, was nothing more than my broken heart’s wishful dream.
Hey everyone,
OK… I know you all know what it feels like to struggle with stuff, go through hard times, have fears and questions, and feel lonely and confused. We all go through times like that. Well, I was getting to a pretty low point in my life… like LOW. I have grown up in church my whole life, and have been a Christian since I was very little, but I drifted away in the past couple years. And I had given up on the hope that anyone could care about me enough or love me enough to save me from falling. I couldn’t feel God there at all, and I even doubted that He existed.
But then… I went on a youth retreat with my church, I guess almost as a final attempt to feel anything. To feel God again. And I don’t know how, but something changed… And I FELT him. I FELT His love for me. I was SHOCKED by his forgiveness and acceptance of me even though I seriously screwed up ALOT. I don’t know what your beliefs about God might be or even if you believe in Him at all, but I just wanted to invite any of you who are interested or have questions or opinions about God and being a Christian or anything like that, I’d love to discuss it with you… I’ve said before, I don’t judge people. I have messed up horribly in the past. I have no right to point any fingers. And I promise I’m not going to preach at anybody lol. I’m a Christian and I can’t even stand it when people do that.
I’m just inviting anyone to ask any questions or discuss beliefs with me who wants to. I know a lot of you are probably going through a very difficult time right now… I just wanted to remind you that God cares and is there for you! and i care too.
Check my profile out and be my friend if you aren’t already! Love to hear from you…
Stained glass heart, shattered again.
No one left to pick up the pieces.
No putting it back together this time…
I was his angel til he ripped off my wings.. and like a god, tossed me from heaven.
Not good enough to be in his presence. I long to fly, to see love in his eyes, but I’m fallin’ now.
Can’t he hear me scream??
Last thing I see is his stone-cold face watchin’ me fall into darkness
as he holds my broken wings.
I wrote this late one night, based on a combination of what I was feeling and what a friend of mine was going through. Have any of you ever felt this way?
“What am I? Just a body, moving from hour to hour, day to day, as life swims around me. A breath exhaled then gone forever. A flower? Maybe. But I’m ever-wilting. Lost without direction. A wave tossed on the sea. Nothing more. Nothing less. I am but one, invisible speck in this vast universe. I am only me.
Am I worth anything? Maybe. To some. But once I give them what they want, where are they? They’re all gone.
Am I beautiful? Maybe. To some. But beauty can become a curse. I attract those I do not want. To have someone force themselves on you against your will… Nothing could be worse.
Am I smart? Maybe. To some. But I know from my past mistakes that I am in no way wise. I can fool others, but I see myself through my own eyes.
Am I OK? Maybe. Many people believe so. I have become an expert actress. Genuine-looking smiles to disguise the pain. I wear masks flawlessly. Laughing to hold the tears at bay.
What am I? I don’t think I know anymore. I feel the need to cry, to scream, to run. I crave love in a way that I never have before.
What will I do? Haha. I don’t really know. Probably the same thing I always do. Take all these emotions, lock them inside my heart, and swear to never let them show.”
