Ever felt this way?

by | 2010 | Real Stories

I wrote this late one night, based on a combination of what i was feeling and what a friend of mine was going through.  Have any of you ever felt this way? “What am I?  Just a body, moving from hour to hour, day to day, as life swims around me.  A breath exhaled then […]

I wrote this late one night, based on a combination of what i was feeling and what a friend of mine was going through.  Have any of you ever felt this way?

“What am I?  Just a body, moving from hour to hour, day to day, as life swims around me.  A breath exhaled then gone forever.  A flower?  Maybe.  But i’m ever-wilting.  Lost without direction.  A wave tossed on the sea.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  I am but one, invisible speck in this vast universe.  I am only me.
Am I worth anything?  Maybe.  To some.  But once i give them what they want, where are they?  Theyr’e all gone.
Am I beautiful?  Maybe.  To some.  But beauty can become a curse.  I attract those I do not want.  To have someone force themselves on you against your will.. nothing could be worse.
Am i smart?  Maybe.  To some.  But i know from my past mistakes that I am in no way wise.  I can fool others, but i see myself through my own eyes.
Am i OK?  Maybe.  Many people believe so.  I have become an expert actress.  Genuine-looking smiles to disguise the pain.  I wear masks flawlessly.  Laughing to hold the tears at bay.
What am I?  I don’t think I know anymore.  I feel the need to cry, to scream, to run.  I crave love in a way that i never have before. 
What will I do?  haha.  I don’t really know.  Probably the same thing I always do.  Take all these emotions, lock them inside my heart, and swear to never let them show.”

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