This is my story of how I met and am with the guy I’m having my baby with.
I met him on December 4th while hanging with a few of my friends at their house. I barely knew him at the time, but we had sex and I lost my virginity. I thought I was never going to hear from him again, but a couple of days later, he texted. I asked him about that night asking if he regretted what we did or anything like that. He said no. He said he didn’t regret anything and still wanted to see me, so next weekend he did. Everything was great. I had a new guy in my life and he is amazing. A few weeks ago, he told me he loves me and I love him too. After that, I started feeling funny; nausea in the morning and night and constantly eating. I was afraid I was pregnant so I had a friend get me a test and guess what? It was positive. I still didn’t believe it so I bought another one this weekend. It was still positive.
He still doesn’t know I’m pregnant but I’m going to tell him soon. I hope he doesn’t freak out. He’s a lot older than me and I’m not ready to be a mother I think, but honestly, I don’t know. Honestly, I’m kind of excited. All I know is I love my boyfriend and I hope he loves me enough to support me with the baby and we can be a family.
Okay, so here it is.
I am 16 years old and very responsible and dedicated. I’m only a sophomore in high school and already in college. I am on the pill and am very good about taking it. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. This past month, I messed up on my pill. I don’t know what happened, but I took the last week of the pills as the first week. I didn’t notice it till my period was late. Then I looked at the package and realized what I had done. My period is almost two weeks late now.
The pills being taken differently could have stopped my period this month I know. And my boyfriend and I only had sex twice last month. I took a $1 test on Monday, Jan 2nd. It was negative, but it was still early. I plan to take a First Response test this week. My boyfriend will raise it and has a good job. But he thinks it will ruin my future that i have pushed so hard for. He threw up the word Abortion once. Which was so odd for him because he is against it. But he is just so concerned about what my parents will do with their tempers and about my future. He said it’s in me and my choice though and he will be there through it all no matter what I do. And I know he will.
My parents will not understand, I am afraid. That’s my biggest fear. They treat me like a child when it comes to this stuff when clearly I am not. I am a high school student and a college student. I have a job. I have practically raised myself. But still, my boyfriend is really scared they will push us apart instead of telling him to own up.
I was thinking of telling them in a letter? That way I don’t have to be face to face with them. I know I don’t want to tell them alone if I turn out to be. I honestly would slightly fear for my child’s safety.
I haven’t had many symptoms, I find that my breasts are sore and my stomach hurts and I have a weird tugging feeling around my belly button. Also I have cysts on my ovaries and they have been killing me lately like they are stretching or about to bust. I know pregnancy ruptures them.
I know this is a lot to read and if you take the time I thank you greatly. I can do this I know I can. My boyfriend has a two year old daughter by the girl he was with before me. I have raised her as my own though, and I have raised my niece and nephew. I know what it feels like to get little sleep and go to school. I can do this I know I can. I just want some opinions, advice, COMFORT.
Thank you so much,
Black Rose <3
Well, since I last wrote the beginning to my story,
I finally got pregnant!
I will never forget November 3rd, the morning the love of my life and I found out I was pregnant. Following that morning, we wrecked our car. We were okay. Only a burn on my collarbone from the seat belt and I was a little shook up. But following the days on the 5th of November, I miscarried. We were devastated. We fell in love with our little cheeto as we called it as soon as we found out I was pregnant. And once we finally got what we had wanted, just like that, it disappeared. But our baby is in heaven now and my doctor told me we could try again once I have my next full cycle. Well, it’s been a month and Flo was due today but she has yet to arrive so this week we shall see if our prayers have been answered!
On another note I found out my cousin is pregnant! So this should be a lot of fun! :]
OH MY GOD. I’ve never been sooooo impatient in my life!!
I’m 39 weeks tomorrow and dying to go into labor already. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow & Hopefully, they check my cervix! They still haven’t yet… If I’m dilated or effaced at all, I’m going to walk a million miles and drive on a really bumpy road! I’m pretty much desperate to get him out…
As for my Christmas… Guess who got engaged(: Meeeeeee!!!! Hehe. No, he didn’t get down on one knee like in a fairy tale. It went like this: Christmas morning, we had gotten each other one thing and it was under the tree at my dad’s. I got him a big huge thing of gum (I had gotten him a tattoo days prior) and he got me a pillow & blanket… After we opened those, we went to my mom’s house. We opened the stuff ‘Santa’ (my mom) had gotten us. Then I went on my merry way decorating the cookies I made the day before… After a few minutes, my mom brings me a box, all wrapped up… I opened it and it was a bra. Hahaha thank you darling. Then I continue with my cookies. Then I get ANOTHER box, this one was a hallmark one all wrapped up. I opened it had a little white box in it… In it was a diamond turtle necklace (: I peeked in the box and saw the turtle then closed it and said ‘No! Its too much!” After a few minutes of refusal, I pouted & put it on. After that, totally in the zone of cookie decorating, he and my mom bring out ANOTHER box. Gosh guys… In this box, there was another white box all wrapped up. I peeked in the box and it was a freaking ring!! I closed it and set it on the counter, I said no way, not taking it. Its a ring!!!!” I don’t handle big gifts well….. After more minutes and arguing, I opened it up and put it on. I hugged Thomas and I guess he was going to say “So will you marry me?” But I interrupted him at “So will you…..” “SO will I what?!!?” “Marry me!” *Grabs the counter*”Omg, WHAAAT?!!?!?” hahahah. I said yes of course, but when i get surprised, it is the funniest thing eveeeer.
So that was my great highlight of my holiday.
I’m stilll awaiting labor… grrr.
Wow, these last nine weeks have been long.
Long and short. Long because time does not pass fast, at all, especially when you’re up every half an hour of every single night. But then again short, because you get so caught up in this routine, in these two little humans, that you forget that days, weeks, and months are passing.
I can’t say since I last wrote it’s been all joy with the twins, that I have gracefully sank into motherhood as easy as anything. It hasn’t been easy, but a lot harder than I expected. When the twins were about a week old, and I wrote a blog entry, I was still pretty optimistic about the routine we’d get them in, how organized as parents we would be.
When they were a week old, I was sleep deprived, but there were things to blame it on then. I’d just given birth, still groggy from the c-section. We both agreed we’d give the twins a few weeks before we tried to get them into a routine as we’d planned.
But it’s hard to get them into a routine because we ourselves aren’t that organized. Often, we don’t know what our own schedules will be so we can’t plan the twins either.
And now they’re nine weeks old and our household is still as chaotic as ever. My husband went back to uni two weeks after the twins were born, and even though he gives a hand in the evening, it’s really hard to cope without him. It seems like most of time at home we’re dancing around between work and babies and still trying to have a relationship.
Just having another person, another set of hands makes all the difference with the twins. The nights are okay, mainly because mostly, he will do his fair share of feedings and changings even though he’s knackered.
It’s the days that really get to me. About 16 changings a day and 18 bottles to prepare though it really varies. I sometimes feel a bit like a machine, preparing the bottles anyway. Sometimes when I’m really tired, right on the edge, I feel like I can just make one without looking, like muscle memory.
I do get help though. The boys we share a house with are always willing to give them a feed (although less willing to change a nappy) and I’ve caught them so many times just sneaking a quick cuddle. One of my friends and our biggest resource, also has been visiting me more than usual and makes sure we all get out of the house so it’s not too isolating.
Despite the sleep deprivation, which if you haven’t looked after two newborns, shouldn’t be under estimated, I really have enjoyed being a mother. I’m not a natural. I make mistakes, just like accidentally exploding a formula bottle in the microwave or maybe even once getting twins the wrong way round (yes, my very unidentical girl and boy twins), and dressing him in a dress. But I am really in love with my babies.
They’re growing at alarming rates, far too fast to keep track off. We used to weigh them on the kitchen scales, and it used to look so funny, I might put a picture up on here, but now they’re far too big. Both of them smile now, and make some fantastic gurgling noises. She smiled first, at about four weeks, and he soon followed her.
They really know their brother and sister now. When they were first born, they’d knock into each other obliviously, but now they’re feeling their noses and I caught him clutching her hand the other day.
I went back to Uni for one week before Uni broke up for Christmas. I have to admit it felt so wrong, leaving them with a daycare at only six weeks. I really considered dropping out of Uni, and I still am. You hear all these horrible statistics about keeping kids in daycare at early ages, about how they grow up stilted and not attached to their parents.
I want them to know me when I’m older, but I also I want an education, I want to finish these last few years of my degree. So at the moment I’m a little torn.
It’s not really a daycare, but we drop them off at a house where a lovely women takes care of three other babies during the day on a regular basis. So no daycare, but not private nannies, it’s a step in-between.
Anyway, I shall stop my rant. It’s Christmas! Merry Christmas to everyone at Stand up Girl
So I may have forgotten a few things… Well, one little thought.
I don’t know if it’s just the time of pregnancy, but I can’t wait to add another addition to our brood (: I know my boyfriend wants another someday. But probably not for a while. At least until we have our own place & he starts getting benefits from his new job, which all should happen within the next six months (I’m hoping anyway).
All the ‘big things’, like the bassinet, diaper bag, crib bedding & swing I got neutral so just in case (; If we were going to have another, I’d hope it was a girl. If not, a boy would be just as fine (: if not better cuz we’d have all the clothes too! haha.
