Dear Stand Up Girl readers…
My story is mostly different from most of yours out there but I still want to share it with all the stressed girls out there.
I am 22 years old. The love of my life and I have been together for more than 6 years now. About 4 years ago, I fell pregnant. I knew my life would change dramatically. Luckily, my boyfriend stood by me, whatever decision I chose to make.
First, I thought that I’m 18, still in matric and I have been accepted into university. I can’t have this child, not now. Abortion was an option as I was living with my dad, who would never approve to let me keep the child. About two weeks later, I was at school and I suddenly felt a pain I couldn’t describe, and I immediately knew that something was wrong. That was the day i had a miscarriage, due to stress (was the doctor’s words).
I thought this has all worked out perfectly. I don’t have to go through with the abortion and i can go on living my live the way I always planned on doing but I was making a big mistake. Well here I am, 4 years later, living with even more pain in my heart than the pain I felt the day i lost my baby.
Me and my boyfriend, now my fiancé, moved in together right after I matriculated. I have a great job. I’m studying for my second degree but there is only one problem. My fiancé and I have decided to have a baby, but after more than a year, we have had no luck.
I keep thinking to myself that what would have happened if I have came out in the open with my pregnancy 4 years ago and I had not lost my baby? I find myself longing for a child of my own, even more every day. And then I read of girls who fall pregnant and don’t want the child, not thinking that there is a reason they fell pregnant at the time they did. They will never know if they will have the chance again to become a parent and I think to myself, why can’t it be me that is pregnant instead of someone whom doesn’t want the child as much as I do at the moment?
Girls, I ask of you think carefully before making the same mistake that I did. Every child is a gift from God and He has a plan for every one of those children. Don’t take away an innocent life because at some point, you will live to regret that decision.
Yours truely
We went overboard that night so it hit us really hard in the process. Our emotions took over our bodies. Without even knowing exactly what we were doing, we ended up making love without any protection.
I’m 18 years old with a beautiful 5-month-old baby girl, Maahi.
Not until the 4th month were we completely sure that I was pregnant. prior to that, during the 2 months, we had taken pregnancy tests which said positive. Immediately we took the step of abortion pills. As a result, we thought we lost our baby, but it seemed she was not ready to leave us.
During my 7 months, my parents came to know. A lot of havoc was created between mine and my fiancé’s family. Unknowingly, my parents took me away to Mumbai without my fiancé. I was immediately taken to my aunt’s place where i was literally “jailed” for 2 weeks. I not only faced humiliation from my family members but also from the doctors and various other “religious” people.
My father used to accompany me to the gynaec but always had me removed from the room while he was talking to him. So as a result, I never really knew what they were discussing.
On the 6 of April, the doctor had given me pills to induce labour pains which I had taken at 4 in the morning on the 7 of April and went through hell after that.
At 5 in the evening, when I was taking a shower, my water broke and I just jumped out of the shower, put on my clothes, and ran to my aunt, pleading with her that I was in utter pain and I wanted to go to the hospital but she didn’t bother. Instead, she was cleaning up her house and telling me to shut up and have patience. After a chaotic discussion, we were on the way to the hospital and I was in so much of pain that I couldn’t control myself and kept screaming. My aunt slapped me on my mouth and my lip tore and it was bleeding.
As soon as we reached the hospital, I was taken into the delivery room. After 10 minutes, i delivered my beautiful baby girl. But she was taken away from me and all I saw of her was a 5 second glance.
And I never saw her again…
After 3 days, my father told me she died of a respiratory problem. He took me to her grave and he bought me back home (Middle East). My fiancé was in India. He called me after 2 weeks and told me that our baby was alive. I didn’t completely believe him. But when he came back, My mum had left for Mumbai. One fine day, she called me up and told me that she saw my baby. That’s when I believed my fiancé and started telling him that I wanted our baby back.
We realized that my Father lied to us. We don’t know why, and we may never know why.
We got married on the 4th of July. Today, me and my husband are living together with our beautiful baby girl and we are very happy together…
I went out with a friend one night and for some reason, I really wanted to have a good time, and that I did.
We knocked a couple of drinks back, danced, bumped into more friends, and even bumped into this guy that she had had a crush on for the longest time. She is the shy type of girl who would never risk making a fool of herself, that’s why she has me around. She and this guy had never spoken and he didn’t even know of her existence. So I, being the loudmouth that I am, initiated conversation with this guy, just to get him to take note of my friend. Little did I know that by the end of that night, she would be in tears, I would lie in bed with a mere stranger forgetting that I had a boyfriend already, and he (the guy my friend had a crush on) would be that stranger.
My friend was upset but soon got over it as she realized that me and this guy really liked each other. He broke up with his current girlfriend and I broke up with my current boyfriend and almost immediately, a whirlwind of excitement, alcohol, partying, and unprotected sex began.
I missed my period that next month, but I thought nothing of it. Then my eating patterns changed, but still I thought nothing of it. I wasn’t until my roommates and I got a bottle of vodka one Friday night and drank ourselves to a stand still, leaving me to wake up puking as though the world would come to a halt if I stopped. That Saturday, I blamed it on the alcohol, but when Sunday came and I was still puking. I figured something was wrong. The Monday, I got a home pregnancy test and surprise, I was pregnant. I went to the doctor a couple of days later and he confirmed my pregnancy, telling me I was 7 weeks pregnant. Now at this point, my boyfriend and I had only been together for about 2 months. I told him and he was very supportive. The only thing we did not agree on was that he wanted me to keep the baby and I wanted to have an abortion.
i really didn’t give him room to argue his point. My mind was made up and that was that. Still, he held me through my fears and told me he would be there no matter what.
He smsed me one night and said “Baby, I’m terribly sorry for putting you through this. i don’t know how to make it easier for you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. I’m here for you.” I cried, not because I had one of the sweetest boyfriends in the world, but because I had taken the next day off of work in order to go have an abortion and I hadn’t told him. So I replied, “I want to get this abortion thing done tomorrow.” He tried to convince me to put it off for a couple more days, but not because, he wanted me to re-think my decision, but because he couldn’t go to the clinic with me that next day. I told him it was OK, he didn’t have to be there.
Woke up that next morning, still feeling horrible. took a shower, wore one of my favorite outfits and off I went. I walked into that clinic so calm and so confident not a bit of nervousness or fear or any such thing. I looked at the other girls and wondered to myself what their stories were. I analyzed their outfits, called a couple of my friends, I did a lot of things whilst sitting in that waiting room. The one thing I tried my best not to do was think about me, my situation, the fact that I was sitting in that waiting room for the very same reason as those girls I had been looking at.
My name was called and I went off into the doctor’s room. I thought I would cry, but I didn’t shed a single tear. When they were done with me, I went through to the recovery room, got dressed, and got the hell out of there. I called my boyfriend and his phone was off and that’s when the tears came. I left him a heartfelt voice message, wiped my tears and went shopping…
I thought I was OK, until today.
I killed a baby, I killed my baby. I don’t know how one goes about forgiving themselves for doing something like this. Will God ever forgive me? Will my boyfriend ever look at me in the same way?
I don’t have the answers. I just thought sharing would make me feel better…
My sister is 16 years old and we just found out she is ten weeks pregnant.
When she told me she was pregnant, I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she wants an abortion and having a baby will ruin her life. The father of her child is her boyfriend of about one year, and he took her to Planned Parenthood to get another pregnancy test. When it came back positive, they talked to someone and said they want to have an abortion. She is going to court to get a judicial bypass so she can have an abortion without my mom knowing. When she told me this, I told her you need to look at all your options and make sure this is the right decision for you and that she should talk to my mom and not do it behind her back cause you need her more than ever right now. Well, she refused to tell my mom so I told my mom and she wasn’t mad. She wanted to help my sister. Well, the past 2 days, we have been talking to her about all of her options and she has been thinking about keeping the baby. But her boyfriend is threatening to leave her and have nothing to do with her or her baby if she keeps it. She keeps going back and fourth on what to do. I know she loves him and wants to do what’s best but I’m scared that she is going to think too much about what everyone else wants her to do rather than doing what is right for her and I really don’t think she wants an abortion and I’m terrified she will go through with it and that he will end up leaving her and then she will regret her decision and have her heart broke.
Give me some advice, pleaseee…
Well, my best friend had an abortion nearly two weeks ago and I didn’t make too much of an effort to stop it …
Yes, I told her that it wasn’t her only option and that she’d have support from me and our other friends… But I never told her about the ugly stuff, the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the longing for another baby…. I said I’d support her even if she went through with her decision to terminate. And, I did support her, even told her to take along earphones to shut out the sound of the machines…. Did I enable her? Did I help her along, even though I knew what kind of hell she would go through afterwards?
I don’t blame myself…. but I could have made her think twice. I could have changed her mind and saved an innocent life.
Now, she’s struggling to sleep…. thinking constantly and regretting it… I could have warned her and I didn’t.
What kind of friend am I? Here, I type to strangers, trying to save them from the pain ….. and I couldn’t help her
xoxox
Within 2 months, I will be a mother.
I believe in the saying” Life’s what you make it”. I would like to write my experiences and feelings during these days while I’m carrying out this baby and by the time, she’ll go out of my womb. I do really expect the unexpected. Even though I’m 14, too young to be a mother, I will stand my obligation and responsibility to become a great mom for my daughter.
