You weren’t planned for a second.
But that doesn’t mean anything,
You’re a blessing in disguise.
That’s what I hoped they’d see.
I cry every day at the thought of losing you.
My Sweet Angel
I already fell in love with you.
But I can’t help feel something wrong.
Something’s not quite right with you.
I pray that you’re okay.
That the doctor gives me some good news.
Love always Mommy <3
My little ones are now at the six-month mark, and it’s been a hell of a road getting here. Up to about three weeks ago, they still were waking up three or four times a night and I was getting snowed under with Uni work that I felt I really couldn’t get done. I think I was about two assignments away from dropping out. But now, I feel like things are getting easier the older the twins get.
They’re sleeping a lot better now, and they’re only really up once or twice in the night which makes a huge difference. It means I’m getting a lot more work done at Uni and don’t feel quite so unprepared for the exams coming up. It also means that me and my husband can spend a little more time together seeing as we aren’t sleepless zombies anymore; I definitely feel like this is the light at the end of the tunnel.
They’re also making big milestones all of a sudden. They can now roll right over onto their stomachs and have started being able to pick things up. My daughter is a little more advanced than her brother (she was a little bit bigger at birth), and has started pushing up on her hands, hopefully getting ready to crawl!
They’ll also both eat solids, with mashed-up bananas being a favorite. Personality-wise, my son is still the loudest. He makes the most noise when he cries, and when he laughs, which he does a lot. Elsie is quieter, she doesn’t seem to like being held by other people as much, and mostly all she wants to do is hide in the crook of her Daddy’s shoulder.
One of our main problems is living arrangements at the moment. The house we live in is great, right by the hospital and the city centre. The only problem is our flatmates. The three boys we live with are students as well, and although they are great with the twins, I’m not always very comfortable with the amount they drink and some of the people they’ll bring back with them. A year ago, I would have been the same, but now with two young children, who are just about to start crawling, we need a safer home environment that isn’t littered with beer bottles and strange people I haven’t met before.
So we’ve started looking for a flat in Bristol, which hopefully we’ll move into in the Summer. So far we’ve found a few good places, but money is tight for us at the moment and I’m not quite sure how affordable everything is. We’ve been on a non-flexible budget since the twins arrived, and there’s only so far that our Maintenance grants will cover.
Still, I remain optimistic. Next year is my last year at Uni, and my husband will be graduating and hopefully working as a Junior Doctor in the BRI. As for me, I’ll have to start looking at graduate opportunities; I’m thinking about going into Forensics or maybe becoming a Clinical Scientist at the NHS, but more than anything I’m looking forward to having a regular work schedule so I can spend more time with the twins.
I sometimes think that maybe staying on at University has affected how I’ll be as a mother. I worry that I’m not getting to see them enough, or that instead of looking for jobs, I should just be wanting to stay home with them instead.
Well, my feet are beginning to swell. It’s the worst pain ever. I’m a shoe person, not much of a sandal person. Well, my shoe now fits me super tight. I can walk in them fine, but when it’s time to take my shoes off, I can see my sock lining marks and they hurt.
So, I decided to just stop wearing my shoes for the pain. Today, I tried my leather sandals, and oh gosh, worse!
I now have like the worst pain. They hurt every step I take. So, I now need to go buy myself new comfortable shoes. I don’t even care about the design. I’m looking for the kind of shoes that people say “Eww!,” but feel so great. Haha.
Other than my feet killing me, I’m fine. :)) I still want the weeks to go by faster. I just want my baby boy to come!
Talking about the baby boy, I’m scared. My OB-GYN doctor already told me that I’m expecting a baby boy. He showed me my son’s penis and everything.
Well, on Sunday, a woman at my church told my family and I that she too was told that she was having a boy throughout her whole pregnancy and when the baby was born, it was a girl.
If in the end that was to happen to me, I wouldn’t mind. This baby is mine and I will accept him or her as he/she comes. But, I’ve already bought the boy clothing and we already have the Nursery Room planned. If the baby were to be born and if it were to be a girl, then what can we do? Try to return everything and exchange it for girl clothing?
I hope that this doesn’t happen to me. I already have my baby’s name chosen. I really hope that everything comes out fine. I can only pray! :)))
Today, I was tested for Gestational Diabetes. This might seem quite dumb, but I didn’t even know what the test was for. :(( So, like always, I Googled it. Hahahaha. :))
What is Gestational Diabetes?
Pregnant women who have never had diabetes before but who have high blood sugar (glucose) levels during pregnancy are said to have gestational diabetes. Based on recently announced diagnostic criteria for gestational diabetes, it is estimated that gestational diabetes affects 18% of pregnancies.
So, that was what I found out. The nurse made me drink this orange drink and it tasted quite horrible. I wanted to vomit, just saying. I had to wait for an hour and I tested 126. She said that that was high, but that I still had to wait for one more hour. So, I waited.
I was worrying about this test. I have been eating lots of Snickers bars. I’m a huge fan of Snicker bars and when I can get my husband to buy me one, I do. But I felt quite guilty as I waited for my results. I didn’t want to be the cause of something bad happening to my baby. I was worried. I was hoping every moment that the results would come out fine.
When I was tested again, I tested 104. I was so relieved. I was told that that was normal and that I could leave. It was such a relief. :)))
I’m so happy. :))
Though we haven’t started painting or really anything in the Nursery Room, we do already have plans. My husband and I already know what color the room is going to be painted, the theme. Yet there is still nothing there.
There isn’t even a crib in the room yet. My husband and I are still using the soon-to-be Nursery Room. At the moment, that is still our room. I am 26 weeks pregnant and that worries me. I just hate that there is nothing. We have clothing, diapers, wipes, few things like that. That also worries me. I feel like we should have everything prepared. Time is going by so fast. I’m just so worried that when the baby comes, there will be nothing.
We already know which crib we’re buying. My father actually volunteered to buy the baby the crib. It’s his gift he is giving to us. The crib we chose is online at Babysupermall.com. :)) That site has great stuff. We’re also buying the crib set there. The whole crib set is of Mickey Mouse. My mother designed my room with Mickey and I thought it cute to do the same for my boy. Though, my mom designed my room with Mickey and Minnie. My boy is just going to have Mickey Mouse. :))
The Nursery Room is going to turn out great. The way my husband and I have planned for the room to look, it will look gorgeous. :))
I’ll keep the Nursery Room and everything updated. 🙂 I sure hope we could hurry with his room. I want the room done before 35 weeks of my pregnancy. If sooner…better! I guess only time could tell.
I hope everything goes well. 🙂
Today, I just realized that I had very light stretch marks. Well, I didn’t. My mother told me. She was helping get a skirt on and because we were close to the window, they were visible.
I kind of freaked out. I wasn’t looking forward to that part of the pregnancy. I hoped so much that I wouldn’t get any. Though they are tiny, they are there. I was a little worried until I spoke to my husband about it. I told him and he was disturbed.
He told me something that I really needed to hear. I was complaining about something and that upset him. He told me that I shouldn’t be complaining, that I should just be happy that the baby is healthy. Stretchmarks should be the least of my worries.
That really made me feel better. Though that is not going to stop me from applying lots of lotion to my stomach every night and morning, it made me realize something. I am in no position to complain. I’m so thankful to God. And I’m being so selfish. My husband is right!
Though I wished this never happened, I love my baby. And if stretchmarks are what I will earn through my pregnancy, then be it. I’m gaining something very beautiful at the end. I will never be able to thank God for this miracle. Though my baby isn’t here with me yet. I thank God for taking care of my baby.
I could never be more grateful. :)) I’m glad that some sense got knocked into me. 🙂
23 Weeks && 2 Days Pregnant!
