Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Shae. Thanks for posting. Congradulations!!!! October 8th is one day before my fiancee’s birthday!! THat’s cool. Good Luck with everything. I look forward to getting to know you!
Hi Falon. Thanks for posting. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. My pregnancy hasn’t been going so good. I spotted a little and now i’m on bedrest. i really didn’t feel like coming on to this site. but so far everthing is good. The ultrasound was wonderfull and my cervix is completely closed. I haven’t had any bleeding since wednesday. (now that i say somethng i’ll probably start bleeding again.)
I’m so sorry on what you had to go through. it’s good that you learned from your mistakes and are now trying to stop others from doing the same thing.
Good luck!sorry i didn’t respond sooner. i’ve been bleeding and now i’m no bedrest. i just really didn’t feel like talking to anyone.
that’s beautiful. keep writing it really helps!ok here’s the thing. when i pregnancy test positive, 99.999999999% right. most of the time when a pregnancy test is wrong is when it says negative.
So i would say that you are pregnant. go to the doctor to find out fo sure!i completly agree with Falon. I8 had this friend and every three months we would have to here "i’m pregnant. i haven’t gotten my period in three months. i’ three months pregnant!" she wouldn’t listen to us when we told her that she gets her period every three months. she went on birht control and we never heard those words come out of her mouth again.
just because your breast aren’t sore or your not sick doesn’t mean you can’t be pregnant. with my last pregnancy i had absoultly no sickness (this pregnancy is completly different. somedays i can’t even get out of bed i feel so sick. but i haven’t thrown up yet) and last time my breast didn’t start to hurt until i was about 6 weeks. this time they hurt even before i found out. just take a test!
if you had your last period on april 11 you should have gotten it by now. it doesn’t matter is you’ve just come off the pill. you would be about 2 months pregnant, if you are. But i don’t really know that much about the pill so maybe it can cause a delay. when i went off the pill i got my period within two weeks! try taking a pregnancy test. let me know what happens!
hunny relax. second, your mom can not force you into having an abortion. if you are pregnant, you are the only one who can make your medical decisions. It depends on what state you live in. in some states if your parents won’t help you raise your child you have to give it up for adoption.
Call birthright they can help you get fiancal aid. Aren’t you under your parents insurance?
So by now i’m guessing you already found out if your pregnant or not. so let me know what happened!sorry i didn’t respond sooner. so i see that you posted this on may 30th. it’s now the june 3rd. So did you get your period?
go to the doctors and not your gyn. your uterus is in your lower abdomen. right above your pelvic bone. so there could be something else wrong with you.
Grieving mother:
She clings to the hand of God,
to keep from going wild.
And in his presence
comes to know
his other hand holds her childDon’t let them say i wasn’t born.
That something stopped my heart.
I felt each tender squeeze you gave.
I loved you from the start.Although my body you can’t hold
It doesn’t mean i’m gone.
This world was worthy, not of me,
God chose that i move on.I know the pains that drown you soul,
what you are ofrced to face.
you have my word, i’ll fill your arms,
someday we will embrace.You’ll hear that it was "meant to be,
god doesn’t make mistakes."
but that won’t soften your worst blow,
or make your heart not ache.I’m watching over all you do,
another child you’ll bear.
believe me when i say to you,
i am always there.there will come a time, i promise you
when you will hold my hand,
storke my face and kiss my lips
and then you’ll understand.Althoug i never breathed your air,
or gazed into your eyes,
that doesn’t mean i never "was,"
An angel never dies!i know you were trying to help. i wasn’t mad. i m/c happened over a year ago. it doesn’t upset me anymore when people say stuff like that. I know they’re just trying to help. they don’t understand what hurts and what doesn’t. the only reason i said anything was because there is a girl on here who just recently had a m/c and i didn’t know how she would react to seeing that.
Take care!it’s not too early to tell. i would wait a couple days and try again. let me npw how it all turns out.
if you know for a fact that you are pregnant stop taking them. but here’s the good news, studies show that the pill has had no effect on babies and does not cause birth defects. make a doctors appointmet to find out if you are.
hi crystal. your story is amazing. i just have to say one thing and i don’t mean to be,well,mean. but miscarriage and abortion are two completly different things!! For a women who has experienced a miscarriage they (normally) wanted that baby. they begged the doctor to save their baby. their heart was ripped out. i can’t even begin to explain to you how it feels.
I know you mean well by it. But if you’ve never gone through it it’s hard to understand what hurts and what doesn’t. Like the ever popular "things happen for a reason." no one want to hear that when their child has just died. what could possibly be the reason for the death of an innocent unborn baby. Or the "your young. you’ll have more babies." More babies? Women just want the one that died.
I’m not lecturing you i’m just letting you know for furture reference. I am not hurt by this anymore. i know that people who say stuff like that are only trying to help. And i really do thank you for being thoughtful. (we have a girl here who had a m/c this week)
thanks for posting.
so how old is you baby now? i can’t remember if that’s in your story or not. was it a boy or a girl?hi becca. thanks for posting. you know whats funny is i want to do the same thing. I want to go to school to be a social worker. i plan to work in an adoption agency helping loving couples adopted childern. but i will also volunteer my time to helping helping teen moms. In two ways to help educated the longterm emotional and physical effects abortion has and it’s alternatives. I also want to help teen who have had miscarriages. there is nothing out there for that. there are either places like this that are designed for teen pregnancy support or there are miscarriage support groups. nothing for a greiving teen mother. I was part of a miscarriage supprot group but noone understood what i had been through. No one ever saw the look of "relief" on everyones face when it happened. I actually got kicked out of that group for being too young. And a lot of women who have had miscarriages had something horrible happen to the point where they can one longer have kids and the one they lost was their only so they are bitter to the fact that a teen got pregnant, most of the time it was an accdeint(wow my spelling is really bad) They understand the emotions of what it’s like. To be young and find out your pregnant. THey never got the "looks" in the halls at school. They never had all the rumors going around about them. They were never talked about behind their back. They never knew how hard it was to tell their parents and for some be disowned by the ones who gave them life.
even though i am very thankfull for the support i did get in the two groups i love no one there understands what teen actually go through. that is way i’ve decided to do this.
well sorry this was so long. but thanks again for posting. look forward to hearing from you in the furture!i’m sorry. here;s one more. i promise no more unless you ask.
If i could have a lifetime wish,
a dream that would come true,
i’d pray to God with all my heart,
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can’t bring you back,
i know because i’ve tried.
and neither will a million tears,
i know because i’ve cried.
you left behind a broken heart,
and happy memories too.I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you!!!I hope this stuff helps. remember if there’s anything you need don’t hesitat to let me know. i’ve been there, and actually i’m still there. Not a day goes by that i don’t think about my baby.
I got this from one of my support groups. when you feel readyread it.
The Truth Is…
1. The truth ISN’T that you will feel "all better" in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.
The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.
2. The truth isn’t that a new pregnancy will help you forget.
The truth is that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.
3. The truth isn’t that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.
The truth is that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions.
4. The truth isn’t that once this is over your life will be the same.
The truth is that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are.
5. The truth isn’t that grieving is morbid, or a sign of weakness or mental instability.
The truth is that grieving is work that must be done. Now is the appropriate time. Allow yourself the time. Feel it, flow with it. Try not to fight it too often. It will get easier if you expect that it is variable, that some days are better than others. Be patient with yourself. There are no short cuts to healing. The active grieving will be over when all the work is done.
6. The truth isn’t that grief is all-consuming.
The truth is that in the midst of the most agonizing time of your life, there will be laughter. Don’t feel guilty. Laugh if you want to. Just as you must allow yourself the time to grieve, you must also allow yourself the time to laugh. Viewing laughter as part of the healing process, just as overwhelming sadness is now, will make the pain more bearable.
7. The truth isn’t that one person can bear this alone.
The truth is that while only you can make the choices necessary to return to the mainstream of life a healed person, others in your life are also grieving and are feeling very helpless. As unfair as it may seem, the burden of remaining in contact with family and friends often falls on you. They are afraid to "butt in," or they may be fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing. This makes them feel even more helpless. They need to be told honestly what they can do to help. They don’t need to be told, "I’m doing fine" when you’re really NOT doing fine. By allowing others to share in your pain and assist you with your needs, you will be comforted and they will feel less helpless.
8. The truth isn’t that God must be punishing you for something.
The truth is that sometimes these things just happen. They have happened to many people before you, and they will happen to many people after you. This was not an act of any God; it was an act of Nature. It isn’t fair to blame God, or yourself, or anyone else. Try to understand that it is human nature to look for a place to put the blame, especially when there are so few answers to the question, "Why?" Sometimes there are answers. Most times there are not. Believing that you are being punished will only get in the way of your healing.
9. The truth isn’t that you will be unable to make any choices or decisions during this time.
The truth is that while major decisions, such as moving or changing jobs, are better off being postponed for now, life goes on. It will be difficult, but decisions dealing with the death of your baby (seeing and naming the baby, arranging and/or attending a religious ritual, taking care of the nursery items you have acquired) are all choices you can make for yourself. Well-meaning people will try to shelter you from the pain of this. However, many of us who have suffered similar losses agree that these first decisions are very important. They help to make the loss real. Our brains filter out much of the pain early on as a way to protect us. Very soon after that, we find ourselves reliving the events over and over, trying to remember everything. This is another way that we acknowledge the loss. Until the loss is real, grieving cannot begin. Being involved at this early time will be a painful experience, but it will help you deal with your grief better as you progress by providing comforting memories of having performed loving, caring acts for your baby.
10. The truth isn’t that you will be delighted to hear that a friend or other loved one has just given birth to a healthy baby.
The truth is that you may find it very difficult to be around mothers with young babies. You may be hurt, or angry, or jealous. You may wonder why you couldn’t have had that joy. You may be resentful, or refuse to see friends with new babies. You may even secretly wish that the same thing would happen to someone else. You want someone to understand how it feels. You may also feel very ashamed that you could wish such things on people you love or care about, or think that you must be a dreadful person. You aren’t. You’re human, and even the most loving people can react this way when they are actively grieving. If the situations were reversed, your friends would be feeling and thinking the same things you are. Forgive yourself. It’s OK. These feelings will eventually go away.
11. The truth isn’t that all marriages survive this difficult time.
The truth is that sometimes you might blame one another, resent one another, or dislike being with one another. If you find this happening, get help. There are self-help groups available or grief counselors who can help. Don’t ignore it or tuck it away assuming it will get better. It won’t. Actively grieving people cannot help one another. It is unrealistic, like having two people who were blinded at the same time teach each other Braille. Talking it out with others may help. It might even save your marriage.
12. The truth isn’t that eventually you will accept the loss of your baby and forget all about this awful time.
The truth is that acceptance is a word reserved for the understanding you come to when you’ve successfully grieved the loss of a parent, or a grandparent, or a beloved older relative. When you lose a child, your whole future has been affected, not your past. No one can really accept that. But there is resolution in the form of healing and learning how to cope. You will survive. Many of us who have gone through this type of grief are afraid we might forget about our babies once we begin to heal. This won’t happen. You will always remember your precious baby because successful grieving carves a place in your heart where he or she will live forever.
by C. Elizabeth Carney
here’s one more poem that really helped me out.
I stood beside you bed last night,
I came to have a peep,
I could see that you were crying,
quietly in your sleep.I touched you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
"it’s me i haven’t left you,
I’m well, i’m fine, i’m here."I was close to you at breakfast,
i watched you pour coffee,
you were thinking of how much you
longed to be with me.I was with you at the store today,
your arms were getting sore,
i longed to take your parcels,
i wish i could do more.I was with you at my grave today,
you tend it with such care.
i want to reassure you,
that i’m not really there.i walked with you to the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hands on you,
i smiled and said "it’s me."you looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
i tried so hard to let you know,
that i was standing there.it’s possible for me to be
so near you everyday.
to say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."i have more if want them. take care.
i’m so sorry. i know what your going through. i was 8 weeks when my baby died. It’s the hardest the thing to go through. You’re childern are supposed to bury you not the other way around. If you ever need anyone to talk to i’m here.
Lost Love
I never got to see you,
My precious bundle of joy.
I never got to know you,
Were you a girl or a boy?
I never got to hold,
and rock you to and fro.
I never got to kiss you,
or count your little toes.
I never got to see your face,
eyes open with a smile.
I never got to have you,
even for a while.
I never got to keep you,
I had to let you go.
I never got a chance to say,
I really love you so.negative and postive? did you take two tests? because it’s immposible for one test to say both. which did you take first? if the positive one was second then i say you are.
Some women feels as though they have major pms and then they miss their period and find out they are pregnant. defintly take another test!! let me know how everything turns out!!maybe you are pregnant. i don’t know anything about clomid but i’ve heard it works really good! wait another week (i know waiting is so hard) and retest. let me know how everything turns out. i’m be thinking about ya.
wow!! you a lot more patience than i do. i wouldn’t be able to wait that long. in fact i didn’t wait to see if i got my period this time. i just took the test. It was a tuesday and i wasn’t supposed to get my period until friday. Well my roomate was in scotland and my fiancee was at work. I was just sitting around the house. My boobs were wicked sore, which they never are, I know a lot of girls get sore right before they get their periods but i’m not one of them. I had a test and i sat there staring at it. I knew it was too early to take it but i couldn’t help it. I jumped up, grapped the test and ran to the bathroom. Now comes the tricky part.
I didn’t think i had to pee to i really wasn’t holding the stick in the right position. But boy did i have to pee. i got it all over test window and barely any on the stick. I keep waiting to see the pink line move across the window but it never did. Then i saw the control line appearing and i knew it was negative. so i went back downstairs.about 15 mintues later i had to pee again. so i went upstairs. I walked into the bathroom and looked down at the test: IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it. I went to the store and got a digital one. it said pregnant on the screen. I was only 3 weeks 6 days at that point.WEll anyways good luck with everything. i praying that are pregnant (i’m thinking thats what you want) hope everything goes well. hey maybe in a week you should take a digital test. they work pretty good!!
if you ever need to talk i’m here. i know how hard waiting is!!
