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Hey sweetie!
wow.. well i think you’re definitely doing a good thing to be thinking everything through before you make any quick decisions. I think adoption is a very very good choice! So many couples are out there who maybe couldn’t have a child of their own, or can’t have any now, who would be sooo happy to adopt your baby.. And i think it’s very mature of you to be willing to go through with the pregnancy instead of terminating it. In my opinion, adoption would be a much better choice than abortion. Abortions cause so much regret and pain after the fact (ask any of the girls on here who’ve had one) And the baby’s life is so precious…About the father. You yourself said “we aren’t going to last”, so don’t base this decision off of what he wants or feels. This is YOUR decision for what will be best for YOU and your little baby. He’s not the one who will have to live with the consequences of the choice that is made. In the end, it’s going to be you who has to look in the mirror and live with what you decide to do. Not him.
I think you should go with what you feel in your heart is right. It sounds like you already are thinking that you don’t want a termination. If you’re already have doubts about it and not wanting to do it, don’t do it! You’ll feel so much worse after you have it done.. and i don’t want you to have to go through that and carry the regret around for the rest of your life.
I know it’s scary, but you can do it girl! and anytime you need to talk, you can post on my wall (just be sure to tell me who you are) I’m here for you!much love,
LindseyHey sweetheart,
wow, your story sounds so familiar.. I have been through alot of the same things and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of that. I completely understand about still loving your boyfriend, and you’re not stupid. My ex and I broke up over eight months ago and I am just now starting a new relationship. He was my everything. But I eventually decided to let him go. I just came to terms with the fact that we aren’t going to be together right now… and if we are meant to be together in the future, then it’ll happen. But it will get better hun. It’ll work out one way or the other. If you two aren’t meant to be together, just remember that God has the perfect person in mind for you if you’ll be patient. And if you are meant to be together, God will make it happen at just the right moment.
As for having a bad year, i can totally relate to that too. Last year was a crummy year for me too. The only guy i had ever loved and trusted broke up with me, My parents got divorced, I went through a pretty rough spot where I was very depressed and stopped eating and wanted to cut.. My grandparents were judging me constantly and talking about me behind my back, I had a creep who was sexually harassing me and stalking me to the point that i was having nightmares. I felt like life really couldn’t get much worse.
And it’s hard. I know the feeling of just laying awake at night and crying because you feel so numb to everything except pain. You can always feel that pain that’s still there from the past. But girl, I promise you, it gets better. Don’t give up now. Keep your chin up and look for the blessings in life… God’s got everything under control. And idk what your beliefs about God are, but I encourage you to pray.. He listens, and He’ll give you strength when you feel like giving up on life. He’s the only reason I made it out of all that mess. I encourage you to listen to a song that really helped me out “You’re Not Shaken” by Phil Stacey..
I’ll be praying for you hun… Things do get better. Trust me. And God is always there. And I’m here anytime you want to talk.. I’ll even give you my email if you want.Best of luck sweetie! Love you 🙂
-Lindseyhey girl,
yes. I would definately take another test. I mean, having those symptoms does not automatically mean you’re pregnant… but they are indicators. And even if you’re not, i think it would be worth it to put everyone’s mind at ease and know for 100% certain. I’m here for you either way 🙂Hey hun,
the symptoms you described are all indicators of pregnancy, but do not necesarily mean you are absolutely for sure pregnant. At this point, depending on when you had intercourse and whether or not your period comes in a few days, i would say it is likely. My advice, try not to stress too much.. wait it out a little longer and see if your period comes. If it is more than a few days late, i would consider taking another test.
No matter how it turns out, it will be ok. Try to take a deep breath and relax. This may all just be a false alarm. But if it’s not, you’ve got alot of support here on this site and i’ll personally be here for you if you want to talk.
hope everything works out for you hun, God bless.-Lindsey
Hey girl,
Have you guys both sat down and seriously thought about all of the time and resposibility having a baby would take? Can you be 100% sure this boy is going to stay around and help you raise the baby? I personally don’t think it would be the best thing to do… Having a baby changes EVERYTHING. You need to be careful not to let him pressure you into making that decision. He doesn’t have any right to you or your body or to be the father of your baby unless you give him those rights. He’s not going to be the one who has to become a full time parent. He’s not the one who’s really going to have to give up free time and the fun things that you’re supposed to be doing at this age to take care of a child. You’re the one this decision is really going to effect. So don’t let him try to pressure you. Do what’s right for you.
My advice: Enjoy your last two years of high school, and wait on having a baby. If this boy won’t understand and wait for you, then that’s a warning sign. Babies are blessings, but you’re going to spend a good portion of the rest of your life being a mommy. Take advantage of the next few years to just be you.
I wish you the best, and hope everything works out 🙂-Lindsey
Girl, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all this… I know it must be very hard for you. But you can’t let other people determine your (and your baby’s) future. You have to make the decision that you feel is right for you. And if you can’t stand the thought of ending your baby’s life now… then I can only imagine how horribly you’ll feel after the fact. No one should have to carry that much guilt on their shoulders. There are other options… even if you feel that you don’t have the means to keep your baby, adoption could be considered. But also there is alot of help out there for young, single moms trying to make it with their little ones. And to answer your question about who would want to date a single mom? Actually I know several single moms and they still enjoy dating and hanging out with friends. Having a baby won’t completely end your social life.. it may just slow things down for a little while. I know it’s a very confusing scary time for you, but please listen to what your heart’s telling you. It may be hard, but love can work past sooo many obstacles. After all is said and done, you will be the one who has to look in the mirror and live with the decision you make. No one else will be as affected by this decision as you will. So, you do what YOU feel in your heart is right for you and your little one. I’m praying for you, that God will give you peace and guidance. I’m here to talk if you need someone. Good luck! and God bless. Love you!
And P.S.
If your bf makes you feel worthless and won’t support you and isn’t there for you… then HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU! You are much too special and beautiful and valuable to have to put up with someone like him. You can do much better! You are sooo valuable, so you just hold out for a guy that treats you right, girl.Hey girl,
You need to listen to your heart. If you want to keep your baby, then don’t let anyone else try to tell you to do something else! They aren’t the ones that will have to live with that decision. There is alot of assistance out there for young moms and with some determination I know you and your baby can make it! I know it’s a scary thing, and even though it may feel like there’s no one to help or support you, we girls here love you and will be praying for you! You are very valuable and so is your little one. Go with what you feel is right for YOU… not for anyone else. If you ever want to talk, i’m here.
Praying for you. God bless.Clare,
I know all the questions that must be running through your head right now…and I know how confused you must feel. But you can’t let your decision be made based on what your boyfriend wants. He will not be the one that has to deal with the regret and guilt that the abortion will cause you. You have to make the best decision for YOU and your baby. If you love children, and have a good living environment as you mentioned, then I am quite confidant in the fact that you can make it and raise your little one. You will not regret it! But even if you feel that you would not be able to provide the best care for the baby, then adoption can be considered. There are many options other than abortion. I am 17, and I understand how hard this must be for you. But please, give yourself and your baby a chance. I know you can do it! Make the right decision based upon YOU. Not your boyfriend. Like I said, he’s not the one that has to live with the consequences. And if he isn’t willing to stand by you and possibly suffer a little embarassment… then he doesn’t deserve you. Life is too short to try to please everyone else. Do what you feel in your heart is right.
I’m praying for you and I wish you and your baby the best! God bless.
