so i wonder now what to do how to move on how to live my life with such a sin i ask god for forgivness yet i wonder if i really am forgiven , school is so hard i constantly find myself looking at him i just wanna scream at him and make him hurt like he has done i yet he knows nothing he wonders why im so mad , this is possibly the hardest thing iv ever done in my life i often cry and i think i honestly would of killed myself without my boyfriends suport and love, i start seeing a counciller next week i think i dont no when but soon i hope, i no i did the right thing but i also no i wont ever get to hold my little baby, i keep thinking of the way i felt in the recovery room so empty i wondered is it over why do i feel so sick as i asked for a spew bag she passed me a small tablet to place under my tounge which made it so much worse i sat in a little ball and cried my heart out i placed my hands on my tummy and prayered to the lord above forgive me lord i have sinned.