January 15, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) – World-famous Canadian singer Celine Dion is undergoing another chapter in her life as she grieves the death of her beloved husband and former manager Rene Angelil. Dion’s fairytale life and the fame she brought to her native Canada would never have been if a Catholic priest had not convinced her mother not to abort Celine in 1967. And it’s likely that her fierce devotion to her husband and family was learned from her mother who gave her life and the example of loving sacrifice.
Posted to my Facebook page on November 21st… November is National Adoption Month and today is National Adoption Day. In 1976, Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week in his state to promote awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in foster care. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan procla…
November is National Adoption Month and today is National Adoption Day.
In 1976, Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week in his state to promote awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in foster care. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week and in 1995, President Bill Clinton expanded Adoption Week to the entire month of November. Thank you, gentlemen. And thank you to childwelfare.com for the information.
Adoption stories are many and varied, spanning time from the day Moses’ anguished (albeit prophetically wise) mom placed him in a basket among the reeds on the banks of the Nile (in order that she might spare the tiny future leader of Israel from the Egyptian king’s decree of death) to today’s stories of open and international adoptions, foster care adoptions, step-parent and grandparent adoptions, and the adoption of adults.
Common threads are elaborately woven into these stories as innumerable lives are blessed with love and hope and indescribable joy at the arrival of an adopted child. For many, it’s as miraculous as a birth. The gift of life cannot be measured by the means with which it is delivered.
Adoption often comes with the subtle realization that adequately and suitably giving thanks to God and everyone involved in the process is seemingly impossible.
And if the adoption process is initiated by a fragile birth mom courageously making the most wrenching decision of her life, it truly IS impossible to give her thanks enough. Assuredly impossible. We can give these mothers peace in their minds, but I doubt we can ease the pain in their hearts. I believe that takes an act of God.
In gratitude and honor of the birth parents and adoptive families, the care workers, the agencies, the attorneys, the volunteers and the friends of those enriching our world through means of adoption, I share my family’s story in hopes of bringing more love and joy and inspiration and encouragement to their stories as well.
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I dedicate this journey to my precious lamb Karla. My first and only birth child and my only daughter. By the ripe old age of two, she had the forceful resolve of Yoda and in turn gave me the resolve to find the sibling she begged us to provide. Upon arrival of her babies, Karla insisted on collaborative roles in bottle feeding, diaper changing and binky search-n-rescue missions. Her most famous performance lines are: “I do it!! I ho’d it!!”…”Honey take a bottle!”…and my favorite, “Mmm, smell the caffeine, Mommy!” from the coffee aisle at Hughes Market.
Karla now resides in a remote area of scenic Arizona and is occasionally sighted at an airport or on a golf course.
You go, baby girl. Love, Mom
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In the spring of 1977, nearly two years after the miraculous birth of our beautiful daughter Karla (a challenging pregnancy due to my ID diabetes), my husband and I decided to get pregnant again. Oh baby.
I greatly desired for the newbie to be born in May. It is such a glorious month and, being a May baby myself, it’s my favorite. Unfortunately, many months passed with no pregnancy. The wait was painful, both emotionally and physically, and infertility due to endometriosis was the final diagnosis. Fertility pills and earnest prayers for twins became a daily routine for me. I discovered how blessed I had been to get pregnant the first time. It was a miracle.
Failing to fertilize, we turned our focus to adoption. I first contacted overseas agencies but international adoption was beyond our reach. Attempts with American agencies were futile. We enlisted the support of friends who had adopted several children of American Indian descent. But calls to tribal agencies and eventually the Bureau of Indian Affairs repeatedly told me that new laws were passed to prohibit the adoption of American Indian children outside of their tribes without the birth father’s consent in court. I gave up on adoption.
In the depths of despair, I decided to find distraction through buying our family a new house. I found a fixer-upper in probate and dove into the challenging process, leaving behind the newer comforts of a three-year-old four-bedroom home for a three-bedroom older home demanding full-scale renovation.
We were in escrow and a month away from our May move-in date when suddenly my period was late. What incredible timing this is, I thought…we’re moving AND pregnant…am I dreaming?
The wake-up call came quickly. On Good Friday of April 1979. Negative test results. Not pregnant. Again.
Never mind more children. I was done. My devastation was complete. I skipped Easter Sunday services and in my lonely grief I self-destructively feasted on chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. (The ones in the scary yellow styrofoam egg carton.) Not a great idea for a diabetic, but understandable.
The following Monday around noon the phone rang. It was our pastor. Our church family was very aware of our attempts to grow our family of three; my pastor shared words of comfort to soothe my sorrow.
Much to my surprise, he and his wife had been on the way to see their attorney regarding an adoption opportunity (they, too, had been trying unsuccessfully to have another child) but they first stopped by their doctor’s office for a pregnancy test…just in case. Sure enough, they were very pregnant (their 5th time). At that point they realized the Lord had a different plan all along. Babies babies everywhere.
I clearly remember hearing “so, how would you like to adopt a set of twins?” Anything immediately following those words is hard to recall.
After some pretty crazy moments of joy and praise and wonder, my pastor gave me the attorney’s phone number with instructions to call immediately and begin private adoption procedures.
The attorney told me the story of a young girl who could not afford to keep her babies and that the birth father would not marry her if she did, so she wanted them adopted at birth. And there was an issue that could be of legal concern to us, something we would need to pray about.
“The father of the twins is of American Indian descent,” he said. “He is one-half Apache. There are new laws about American Indian adoptions that could at the very least be problematic, if not insurmountable. I don’t know if this might be too challenging for you, but it is definitely something you need to think about.”
There was nothing to think about. I had total peace. I knew God’s guiding hand was upon these children. They were going to be mine.
And when the attorney said, “They are due the first week of May,” I thought, May? Seriously? Another miracle! What an amazing God we have.
In the midst of the ensuing chaos, it occurred to us that our family was growing in size but our living quarters were shrinking. We were gaining two children and losing a bedroom.
Hoping to have a son and knowing the babies would need to share the third bedroom, prayers began for twin boys…the least likely option in a twin birth. Of course. We needed yet another miracle in order for that to happen and I hoped it wasn’t too much to ask.
The first week of May, we came home one evening from a family barbecue to an answering machine message from our frantically happy attorney.
The babies had arrived! Identical twin boys!! Huge and healthy, full term, one minute apart. The answer to five prayers repeated over two years for a May baby, twins, an adoption, an American Indian child, and two boys PLEASE.
The miracle of five prayers and two brothers. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine all five prayers working together for good in just one miraculous minute on a beautiful spring day in May.
Thanks be to God and to God be the glory for the things He has done…”He maketh the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:9
Thank you for reading. Please share if you think this might help someone.
I was 13 years old and in seventh grade when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified and asking myself, “How could this happen?” Certainly, I knew what I was doing, but I never expected to get pregnant – after all, I was still a baby myself.
My son, Naythan, is 4 years old, and in some ways we have grown up together. It’s no secret that being a mother at a young age is hard. I have learned many lessons on life, parenting and self-worth, and I hope that by sharing my experience, another young mom out there will read this and realize that they can get through it too.
Get Your Education
Finding out I was pregnant came at a very difficult time in my life. There was some trouble at home and my sister and I were under the custody of child protective services. Unable to return to my home, I leaned on my son’s father, but by the time I was about five months pregnant, he started hitting me and I had to move into a group home.
These experiences were awful, I felt homesick and scared; but, these experiences are what motivated me to want to finish school. I knew that if I was going to be able to provide a safe home for my child, I would need my education.
Like many of the young moms I know, I was out of school for a long time and I was far behind on my credits. I started coming to school at Ombudsman Charter, and with a lot of hard work, I have been able to get back up-to-speed. At Ombudsman they have a flexible schedule and a shorter school day, which really helps me to balance being a mom and a student. I know that it might seem impossible at times, but getting an education is non-negotiable.
Find the Support You Need
The news that I was pregnant came as a big shock to my family, but they were in for an even bigger surprise when my older sister shared the same news, only days later. My son and my nephew are only 10 days apart, and going through this experience with my sister made things a little bit easier because I knew we would get through it together.
I encourage every mom to find the support they need. Emotional support can come from a lot of different places and there are resources available that can also give you parenting classes, financial support and access to some of the things you are going to need for the baby, like free diapers. It can be hard to ask for help, but realize that it is out there.
Understand that Change is Inevitable
Your social life is going to change, and when you have a child at a young age you have to think about being there for them. If you try to live your life the way you did before you had the baby, you are losing precious time with them. Going out once in a while is ok, but being there for your child is far more important. It is possible that the relationship you had with your child’s father might change too, and if they are not a part of your child’s life, you are going to have to play both roles. I have seen some friends who have taken a lot of time away from their children to try to find them a new father. Someday the right man might come into your life as a father figure for your child, but right now, your child needs you.
Stay Positive
Always believe that you can make it, even when the odds seem stacked against you. It is going to be hard and there are going to be times where you feel stressed out and overwhelmed – know that it will get easier. With all that I have been through, I have found that keeping a positive attitude has been the most helpful thing that I could do in difficult situations. Find positive ways to distract yourself from your worries and also make sure that you are taking care of your body by eating healthy foods, getting the sleep you need and staying active while you are pregnant.
Growing up I saw abuse, and it took me a while to realize that I did not deserve that and that nobody deserves that. This realization made me take a closer look at myself and appreciate who I am and what I have accomplished. I know that I want more in life and I believe that I will achieve it. I have 10 credits left to finish high school and after that I want to go to college. I want my children to understand that education is important, and I will show them by my example. It is going to be hard, but I am worth it.
Kimberly is an 18 year old high school senior at Ombudsman Arizona Charter Metro
Actress Kristin Chenoweth, known for her roles on stage and screen, is speaking out in honor of National Adoption Day. Chenoweth, who was adopted as a newborn, says that while she is not overly curious about her birth parents, she is grateful to her birth mother for giving her a chance at life and grateful to her adoptive parents, who told her very early on, “We chose you.”
People.com shares the text of Chenoweth’s writings in honor of the day: “I’ve always known that I was adopted. It was never a secret or held from me. I knew that my birth mother loved me so much that she wanted to give me a better life. And my parents, Jerry and Junie Chenoweth, were looking to adopt a baby and found me – literally less than one week after I was born.
Growing up, my parents explained my adoption by telling me, “We chose you.” It was a wonderful way to put it to an adopted child. And I think it’s true. An adoption is a full-circle blessing.”
Chenoweth explains how she views the birth mother’s choice to place her child for adoption as a “sacrifice,” a “blessing,” and a “gift”: “First of all, it’s a blessing (and a huge sacrifice) for a birth parent to make the decision to give his/her baby a better life. Sometimes people can’t take care of that baby just yet. (And their circumstances might change in 15 years.) But what a gift they are giving to both that child and the family who wants to adopt.”
Chenoweth says,” Adopted children should never feel that they were abandoned, but chosen, even stating, “we were given a chance”: And then, lastly as an adopted child I encourage other adoptees to remember what blessed lives we have. We weren’t abandoned; we were chosen. We were given a chance. I’m not saying it’s not hard or that it’s easy for people to understand. But it really isn’t for the world to understand; it’s for the people who are involved.
Regarding her birth mother, whom she has not met, Chenoweth says: If anything, I would thank my birth mother for loving me enough to make such a huge sacrifice. It’s a great gift for me to be able to say: “I know that I came from love, and I know that I have love.”
Chenoweth, who does not have any children of her own, stated that if she were to have children, she would likely adopt.
Other celebrities have spoken positively about adoption. Among them:
Hugh Jackman (an adoptive father) –
“From the moment we started the adoption process, all the anxiety went away. I don’t think of them [son Oscar, 11, and daughter Ava, 6] as adopted – they’re our children. Deb and I are believers in … I suppose you could call it destiny. We feel things happened the way they are meant to. Obviously, biologically wasn’t the way we were meant to have children. Now, as we go through life together, sure there are challenges, but everyone’s in the right place with the right people. It sounds airy-fairy, but it’s something we feel very deeply.”
Sandra Bullock (an adoptive mother) –
“The first time I met Louis, it was like the whole outside world got quiet. It was like he had always been a part of our lives.”
The late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple (an adoptee) –
“I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was 23 and went through a lot to have me.”
“A story Lecrae Moore lived out firsthand, and a message he’s now willing to share. It was honesty that opened the door of healing for the 35-year-old Grammy Award winning hip-hop artist who has come forward to admit he advocated for the destruction of his own child in 2002.
Good, Bad, Ugly: Lecrae put his story in the public spotlight voluntarily, and in a big way, in the track “Good, Bad, Ugly” from Anomaly (2014), an album which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart. The first verse recounts the true story of his sinful relationship with a past girlfriend:”
As the forty-second anniversary of Roe v. Wade draws near, we are reminded of how large and formidable the abortion industry has become in the United States. Planned Parenthood survives with a heavy dose of government funding, even as overall abortion numbers are down and seem to indicate the entire industry is diminishing.The battle between life and choice is being fought one story at a time. On one side is 25-year-old Emily Letts, who uploaded to YouTube, as a “positive” story, what she claims is her abortion procedure (the actual procedure is shielded from view and the authenticity of Letts’s video remains in question). It became an overnight viral phenomenon, spawning websites dedicated to gathering up more stories from women who seem to harbor no regrets for their choice, with the intent of alleviating the private shame. On the other side are those who know such deep guilt can only be relieved by the open confession of sin, a story Lecrae Moore lived out firsthand, and a message he’s now willing to share. It was honesty that opened the door of healing for the 35-year-old Grammy Award winning hip-hop artist who has come forward to admit he advocated for the destruction of his own child in 2002.
Good, Bad, Ugly Lecrae put his story in the public spotlight voluntarily, and in a big way, in the track “Good, Bad, Ugly” from Anomaly (2014), an album which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart. The first verse recounts the true story of his sinful relationship with a past girlfriend:
I remember back in ’02
I was in school and actin’ a fool
My soul got saved, my debt had been paid
But still I kept running off with my crew
Sex on my brain, and death in my veins
I had a main thing, we stayed up ‘til 2 (Smokin!)
Waking and baking we naked, my body was loving it
Soul was hating it,
And time and time after time, our bodies were close
The girl was so fine
We heard a heart beat that wasn’t hers or mine
The miracle of life had started inside
Ignored the warning signs
Suppressed that truth I felt inside
I was just having fun with this, I’m too young for this
I’m thinking me, myself, and I
Should I sacrifice this life to keep my vanity and live nice?
And she loves and trusts me so much that whatever I say, she’d probably oblige
But I was too selfish with my time
Scared my dreams were not gonna survive
So I dropped her off at that clinic
That day a part of us died
The arc of the story lands hard on the last line: “a part of us died.” Lecrae openly takes public responsibility for his sin, and he recently took time in Atlanta to share his story with John Piper and John Ensor, the president of Passion Life Ministries.“I was a young man trying to figure out what I was going to do with life,” Lecrae said in the roundtable discussion. “I hadn’t finished school. I had met the Lord, but I was still trying to get my footing in terms of walking with Jesus. There was so much that happened. Literally, in the middle of that relationship, I was feeling the conviction. I felt like God was giving me opportunities to escape. We were doing drugs and engaged in sexual activity consistently.”“At the time, I believed an urban myth that if you consume enough drugs you would become sterile. I thought we would never get pregnant. I remember we were both working at a call center, and we went out for our smoke break one day, and she hesitated to smoke the cigarette. And that is when she informed me that she was pregnant.”
“My Life Over Yours”- Lecrae sensed abortion was the wrong decision, but he also saw abortion as an easy escape from the responsibilities of fatherhood. “Had it not been for the conviction of the Spirit, who I was suppressing with drugs and alcohol, I don’t know if I would have felt anything. But I was so callous and so hard-hearted that it was almost second nature to say: ‘Oh, well, you ought to get an abortion.’ I was so self-centered at this point in time, and not God-centered at all, that it wasn’t even a question; it was just me convincing her that this was the right thing to do.”Which he did. The abortion clinic was around the corner from her house in a disenfranchised, poor, urban community. As the lyrics say, he dropped her off.“After the abortion, I really pretty much shut it out of my mind, literally to the point — it is shameful — I ignored all her calls. I quit dealing with her altogether. The last time I saw her I remember she was curled up on a bed crying, and I pushed all of it out of my mind. And what I kept were pictures of her, as a memorial in some senses.”The memory could not be shut out of his mind forever. He knew the abortion he persuaded, like most abortions, was not explained away by compelling medical reasons but was — in his own words — “me choosing my life over yours.”In this overriding choice of self-preference over the life of a child comes the guilt that lingers. He kept a picture of the ex-girlfriend as a secret memorial to their unborn child. It would become a reminder that would later force open an old wound as he prepared to marry his fiancée.“Years down the line I was going through premarital, getting rid of pictures of my ex-girlfriends, to say my mind and my heart are focused on this woman here, and I don’t need any reminders of anything. And I came across her picture and I couldn’t throw it away. And my wife said, ‘Just throw it in the trash.’ I literally broke down over the guilt and the remorse and the shame of it all. That was the beginning of the healing process for me.”It was a healing process he wanted to share. When he wrote and recorded the story into the Anomaly album, he first prepared his mother with a phone call for the story she didn’t know.
Long before Augustine penned and published his honest struggles with lust in the fourth century, public confession has proven to be a powerful force in leading others to humble admission before Christ. Lecrae’s confession of sin, first to his future wife, and then to others in his life, and then to the public, is an invitation for many who find the guilt of abortion impossible to shake.“Public confession of sin is such a liberating thing for others to come forward,” says John Piper of Lecrae’s story. “And if they don’t come out of the darkness, then they can’t have the sweetness of forgiveness. The gospel teaches us how to live, but it also rescues us when we fail to live the way we are supposed to live. And that is what makes it sweet. And so the fact that you have been so public — to call your mom on the phone and to throw away an old girlfriend’s picture and to weep in front of your wife — that story should release men and women from the shadows that are so enslaving, because the gospel is healing.”Millions of adults now have the same opportunity to find healing. Every year around the world, nearly 45 million abortions leave 45 million children dead and 90 million others, both women and men, with permanent scars to carry. As John Ensor soberly reminds us, “For over 20 years now, the guilt and regret of abortion is the most common human experience of our generation.”Lecrae Confesses Abortion, Invites Others into the Light And yet there remains a default response, to cover over the sin in isolation and shame. From that experience Lecrae is pleading for others to consider an honest confession of their sin to God, which is the first and necessary step to finding true healing (Psalm 32:3–5).
Public confessions open doors for others. Whether it comes in self-effacing lyrics by Lecrae, an honest book by Augustine, or the ancient poetry by the psalmist, we learn confession by example. And these examples come at a cost. “It takes a strong person to be vulnerable,” Lecrae said in an interview last year. “When you’re hurt, you hurt other people, but when you’re healed, you try to heal other people.”
And that’s what makes Lecrae’s story such a powerful force of healing in the lives of many now. Openness with sin and confidence in the forgiving power of Christ bring eternal healing from the deepest stains of guilt (Hebrews 9:22). This message of hope is urgently needed for millions who live in the shadows of shame and regret in our society.
On the ground, Ensor is sounding the message through pregnancy help clinics, places where he is seeing tremendous gospel fruit. “In these 2,452 pregnancy help centers across America,” Ensor says, “a complete stranger walks in the door, and in three minutes in that counseling office, they are weeping and telling you about their sex life. You are in. You can ask questions: Where is God in this picture? Where is your family? Where is the boyfriend? You are into their whole lives and all you have to do is help them, help them think, help them practically, and share your hope with them.”
Through platforms, endless work is possible for preachers, artists, and writers who are willing to humbly but boldly speak out like Lecrae.
“I think a lot of teachers, pastors, and artists don’t want to touch this [abortion] with a ten-foot pole,” Piper says. “What can you say about this that is new and halfway meaningful? They don’t stop and ask: What are the roots that are feeding this? And there are dozens of roots: fear and greed and lust and prayerlessness and unbelief and unwillingness to suffer. And pastors can get all over that. Artists can get all over that. You don’t need more statistics to expose how bad the problem is. But rather, where is it coming from? Whether it is racism or whether it is abortion, if you go beneath the actual phenomenon, it can be talked about forever.”
Inexhaustible roots spread out underneath abortion, and the fallout of unwanted pregnancy is daunting, reminding the church of her high calling. Abortion reflects a failure of men, Ensor says, who find abortion as a way to be sexual predators with an easy way to clean up the mess and walk away. Instead, the culture needs a model of true, self-sacrificing masculinity, Lecrae stresses. “I think it is a bigger issue of men and standing up and saying: I am going to be a dad, and I am going to take leadership, and I am going to be a force in my community to break a lot of these cycles.” The church has an opportunity to step up and model this masculine responsibility, and to step in and care for mothers and children, and particularly in vulnerable urban environments.
Standing Tall
Personal restoration is possible, and Lecrae is a living testimony. By God’s grace, he was willing to face his sin honestly and openly, to weep and confess, and to draw near the blood of Christ. He’s now married to his wife Darragh, and they have three children. Lecrae is, in the words of Ensor, “standing tall as a godly man. . . . That is powerful stuff.”
“Yeah, and it’s possible stuff,” Lecrae responds. “If God has called you to something, he will equip you to be what he has called you to be. He has called you to be a responsible, faithful, diligent leader, as a man. And he will equip you to do that, and he has equipped me to do that. I never would have imagined I would have the resources, the understanding, or any of the things that I have now. But by the grace of God, I am here.”
God has called Lecrae to confess his sin as a visible story of the healing and restoring power of grace in this generation. Not all stories end like this. The stories celebrating abortion will never prove to be a means of escaping the guilt. Such escape is left to those who humbly confess their sins before a holy God. “I broke down one day,” Lecrae tweeted this week. “Sometimes we try to bury things, but the healing process begins when we let them come to light.”
In the light is where Lecrae continues to share his candid story, with an honesty that beckons others out of the shadows to walk in truth, before God, and there find cleansing in the blood of Jesus Christ (1 John 1:7).
Piper: “The gospel teaches us how to live, but it also rescues us when we fail to live the way we are supposed to.”
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Written by: Tony Reinke is a staff writer for Desiring God and the author of three books: Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books (2011), Newton on the Christian Life: To Live Is Christ (2015), and The Joy Project: A True Story of Inescapable Happiness (2015). He hosts the popular Ask Pastor John podcast, and lives in the Twin Cities with his wife and their three children. He also blogs at tonyreinke.com.
