Hi. I’m 17. And a few days ago I found out I was pregnant. I’m nervous, I don’t know how to tell my mom. I’m scared of how she will react. And the money isn’t the best right now. I don’t want her to hate me, we have problems anyways. I am just so scared to tell her and see how she will react. We fight a lot anyways. Can anyone give advice on how to bring it out and tell her, like what should I say? anything would help right now..
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Podcast – How to tell my parents I am pregnant
I was 17, and I was a vulnerable girl thinking that she needed a boyfriend. So I was with the wrong boy. Very immature and really only after one thing. Sex. I wasn’t ready. I always thought that I would save my virginity for my wedding night. But I caved and consented to keep him interested.
Shortly after I made an appointment with an OBGYN to get onto birth control. As is customary they did a pregnancy test on me, which came back negative. After talking with the doctor we decided to give the depo-provera injection. The depo shot gives you three months of medicine during which you have no period.
So I was about a month and a half into my second dose, and I had been having some health problems. I had an appointment with my primary physician and due to being on depo pregnancy never came up. My doctors’ prognosis was that my gallbladder needed to be removed. As a pre-surgery procedure they brought me in to have an ultrasound of my gallbladder, only my gallbladder wasn’t where it was supposed to be. So the technician started to look around, which is when she found the little baby inside of me.
I was instantly overcome by so many emotions all at once; joy because I always couldn’t wait to become a mom (the correct way), anger because the boy lost interest in me even though I had sex with him and now I was pregnant with his child, fear because I haven’t even graduated high school yet, and so many more, but most of all dread because I knew my parents were going to kill me.
The technician took a couple of measurements, informed me that the baby was about twenty-three weeks old, she told me that the baby was a boy, she printed me a couple of pictures and then she let me have a few moments before she sent my mother in from the waiting room. When my mom walked in and I told her she simply said “we’ll talk about this at home” and she left.
When she got home from work that night my parents and I sat down and they told me that I was going to have an abortion or I was going to find somewhere else to live. My family had always been very tight, so this hit me like a ton of bricks. Being that I was so far along I had to think fast, as it was there were only a couple clinics in the state that would do a late term abortion at the gestational age I was at, and in less than two weeks even that chance would be gone. With no job, and very little money I knew that there was no real choice, so I agreed to the abortion.
The closest clinic that would do the procedure was still over an hour away so my dad drove me to the clinic. I remember seeing some people at the front of the building protesting the clinic’s work and it made me feel horrible. We entered in the back of the clinic and checked in. After signing consent forms and filling out some paperwork they took me back for another ultrasound and some other lab work. They then informed me that due to how far along I was the abortion would be a three day process, and that I had to be sure this was what I wanted because once they started, there was no going back.
I told them that I was sure and they got started. The first step was to insert several medicated “sticks” into my vaginal canal to start the dilation process. Then they said I was free to go, and to come back the next day. For convenience my father got a hotel room for me to stay up there, and my sister stayed with me. I cried a little bit before I fell asleep that night.
The next day my sister took me back to the clinic where they removed the older pads and put in news ones and more of them. They told me that I would probably have some pretty bad cramps that night and sent us on our way. They were right. They were worse than any menstrual cramps they brought me to tears. I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next morning we went back in to the clinic for the last time. I checked in, they had me undress and they put me to sleep. When I woke up I was no longer pregnant. They had me get dressed and they sent me home.
It was a lot harder to do than I thought it would be. I ended up having to go to therapy for a while. It took me quite some time to come to terms with what I did. I still have the ultrasound pictures. They remind me of the consequences of stupid decisions. And every November I think about how old my son would have turned. I think about what kind of child he could have become. I think about how different my life would have been. Would I still be where I am now with him? Would my parents have forgiven me? There are millions of what ifs. And so many regrets, but now as a parent myself, I am able to see that my parents had my best interest in mind. I know that as hard as it was for me to go through it, it was probably equally hard for them to make me go through it and also to have to watch me go through it.
I believe that abortion is a woman’s decision, but I do not believe that it should be used as a form of birth control. It is a bigger deal than you might initially think.
More Reading My sister had an abortion | Embryoscopy
Hi my sister had an abortion when she was around 15 or 16 and I have no one I talk to. The baby wasn’t growing right and likely wouldn’t survive. My friend found out somehow and told my other friend.
I am still not allowed to talk to them about it even thought they know. The boy who got my sister pregnant was emotionally abusive and she lost almost all of her friends because of it.
She goes to therapy every two weeks but she never talks about what happens there or what they talk about. She usually wants to be alone after. She wasn’t sure if she would still go to heaven.
It’s been one year since she had an abortion and she is still mad at the boy understandably. I just wanted to say something because I’ve never told anyone. Thanks for your time. Have a blessed day.
Our daughter was a junior in high school when she told us she was pregnant. You already know about all the scary stuff so I won’t dwell on that. I will say the biological father (17) & his parents were a problem, then gone, then back but not in a good way, then tolerable with the help of a great family law attorney. We had initially hoped for marriage but we now know that would have been a disaster. I must say before “the news”, our daughter was most likely going to end up out of town, maybe even out of state, attending a college with no career plans in mind.
Although alcohol and drugs were never a problem with her, we feared for college life’s influence on her, and we considered her very susceptible.
As it turns out, we quickly met with a Christian pregnancy center and they helped all of us get through this difficult situation. Our daughter grew 5 years in maturity in a matter of weeks. She embraced this as a very serious Mom who needed to make plans and provisions for herself and her child as a single parent. She grasped that she now had a clear purpose in life, which is something that almost all of her peers lacked and that many are still looking for 8 years later. Instead of wasting time and money and debt going to a college without any direction, she quickly determined how much money she had to make in order to provide for herself and child, and what occupations were in demand and paying what she needed. She made plans to graduate high school early and chose an Associates Degree plan that would equip her to immediately get a good paying job. She stayed at home with us and insisted on working part-time to pay many out of pocket costs for her and her child. While we were there to help with our grandchild, she totally maintained her role as Mom in every way. This was all VERY tough for her, as you all know, but she made it through. By staying home with us, persevering, and utilizing grants and scholarships not otherwise available to her, she graduated college debt free!
She ended up getting a good paying, fairly flexible job immediately upon graduating, and one that she truly enjoys (how many people can say that!). While attending school, she met a man through a church group, one who loved God and children. Soon after graduating, they got married and now have a child of their own. Given the difficult initial circumstances, I believe God then used that teen pregnancy and baby, in many ways, to save my daughter’s life. And we know many people who (although they wouldn’t choose this particular path) certainly wish their adult children had the same purpose, maturity, family life, and financial stability as our daughter, or shoot, even HALF of that.
I am praying for all of you.
My name is Brooklin, I’m 18 years old. I’m a senior in high school and I’m 4 months pregnant…. this is my story.
Let me tell you a little about myself, I had a very tough childhood growing up, I grew up without parents, I live with my grandparents instead. Growing up I loved art & anime but what I loved the most was drawing anime or painting anime…. it become my dearest passion. It was my favorite thing in the world. I even considered about going to art school, but all of that changed. in September of 2016.
I met a guy online named Brandon. He was very sweet and shy like me. We began chatting then he eventually met me on September 24th. I walked all the way to the mall just to meet him. We had a connection, it was nothing like I ever had with anyone else…I fell in love with him that night. In early October we had unprotected sex and later in October I started having all the pregnancy symptoms…..expect vomiting. But I would feel sick, but not like I would have to throw up, my period was also late. I was suppose to get it on the 26th, but it was a couple days late. I had a 28 day cycle and my periods were never irregular. I was really worried, but thought maybe it’s late this time. I was so WRONG!
Forward to November 11th, I took a pregnancy test and BOOM! Positive! Then I wanted to see a doctor just to make sure the test wasn’t inaccurate. I went to the doctor’s on the 16th of November and sure enough I was indeed pregnant. When the doctor told me I just froze, I was scared, anxious, worried, I wanted to give up and die that day. I felt so stupid and irresponsible. I didn’t know what to do…how can I take care of a baby? I’m too young for this! People are going to judge me! I kept getting all these thoughts in my head at once. How am I getting to tell Brandon? Or my grandparents?
My grandparents eventually find out on their own and they were supportive, but I had to tell Brandon. I had to tell him, I just didn’t know how! I sent him a text message a couple days after the appointment, then I waited for a response from him. He was pretty angry and scared. At first he ended up cutting off connections with me and deleting me off everything…. it broke my heart. He also refused to tell his parents or anyone about my pregnancy, which I ended up writing them a note when I was 3 months pregnant. They responded back and they were also supportive and they even said I could live with them when I’m finished with school or when I get my GED. Brandon also apologized and now we are back together.
At first this pregnancy was a nightmare! I hated being pregnant and I was considering abortion, but now I’m happy with my baby! I had my first ultrasound and I fell in love whether Brandon was there or not! I couldn’t get an abortion from that moment on. I’m happier than I ever was.
Four years ago, Lauren came home from college for the weekend with an excruciating announcement to tell her parents. By the time she was packing up to head back to her dorm room, though, the right moment still hadn’t presented itself.
Time was running out, and Lauren wasn’t going to be able to hide the truth much longer.
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