Mah Babi Boi

Well, my boyfriend and I been 2gether for 8 months and dat’s a long time 4 me, and my roommate hooked me up with someone else.

The thing bout me is that I love my boyfriend, but she thinks that I broke up with him and she doesn’t want me to break up with the guy she hooked up with. Well….. I thought that I had feelings for him, but turns out…… I don’t think I do. When I’m with him, everything’s different. He treats me so much better than my boyfriend treats me. But…. I know dat looks don’t matter, but he ain’t really my type… He’s too much for me. If only you knew how picky I am with it comes to mah boyfriend.

I guess it’s cuz I’m used to dating black boys. I can’t tell him dat I love another man, and I don’t want to break his heart cuz he already has so much feelings.  I dunno what to do……

So if anyone has any advice for me, plez let me know.

Doctors

Less than a month until Ethan is born. I’m excited. Yup.

I went to the doctor’s yesterday morning. That was OK. They sent me to the hospital across the street because I guess they needed to do non-stress tests to make sure everything with Ethan was ok. They said he was too small for the dates. Which they ended up saying he was fine though. They gave me some ultrasound pictures of him. He’s so cute. They had the 3D ultrasound thing there. It was pretty cool to see his face.

Next Tuesday, they will have the regular Ultrasound. This one will be like the regular one where they’re not trying to see if anything is wrong. I hope I get more pictures from that. It would be cool.

A prayer from me to you…rest in peace my love

My sweet angel.. Go with God, my love, rest with the angels…

Sleep on a bed of clouds, and if you listen really hard.. I will whisper I love you in your ear… Your smell, smile, and dimples will always haunt my dreams.. I pray for the morning I can wake up to you cooing like a dove, telling me to rise and hold you… I will always miss your little body, that fit so well I mine just like it was meant to be, our hearts beat as one… I could hold you in my arms until I was gray… I held your life in mine, I protected you with my soul, you were an angel sent from God… I would endure the hardships again and again just to hold you once, to see you smile once… I would gladly give my life that you might have just one more day… You never got chocolate, you never ran in a park, you never went to the zoo, and you never will know how much I loved you..

My sweet Angel, Rest in Peace.. May angels lead you in my love… Mommy will always love you

I’m Pregnant

So I don’t have a million dollars. I’m not a professional who works in a high-end job. I can’t give my children every tiny thing they want and I have had days where I’m not sure I can give them the physical things that they need.

But I can. I believe in God and know that my faith is the reason I have survived. Now I am comfortable. I am not rich or famous or even close, but I’m okay. I love my children and they are happy and well-adjusted.

Considering my son was born when I was just 16, I believe I have beaten so many odds. And now I’m pregnant again. At (almost!) 23 years old with three children already and married, I find myself pregnant and scared to death. All kinds of thoughts run through my mind with each pregnancy. How can I do this? What am I thinking? How can I have another child? What is my family going to think? It’s always the same and it shouldn’t be.

I’m tired of the negative effects having my son young is continuing to have on me. I’m stepping up and telling people to mind their own business. Yes, I know what birth control is and yes, I’m fertile. Yes, I know how babies are made, and it’s none of your business just how many children I am going to have.

My children are cared for, comfortable, and loved. What more do kids really need? Why, just because I am young, do people think they can tell me and my husband what to do? Why do they think that I need a lesson on how children are created? Why do they not think that I’ve grown up and am not a little girl? From the moment I found out about Liam, I was no longer a girl. I matured – Why can’t people understand that?

No, I am not ashamed to be pregnant again. No, I will not hold in my excitement, and no, I will not let you judge me or affect how I feel about my pregnancy.

Okay – Rant is officially over 🙂

For those interested, I found out Friday that I’m pregnant and by my last period, I’m calculating a due date of approximately May 13!!

Yay for babies!

The Drug X

Sad but true. I tried the drug “X” for the second time just the night before I found out I was pregnant. And to make things worse, I had been drinking and smoking cigarettes a lot. I was looking at my options, and abortion was trying to creep its way into my life. I kept thinking, what if?! What if there is NOTHING wrong with my baby?!

The reason I wanted to share my story with you is to possibly help someone else out there that went down the same road as I did.  It’s really hard for me to admit I did this. The only people that know about it are my husband and best friend.

I believe there may be at least one mom that is considering abortion because of what she did. When I found out I was pregnant, I researched the internet for information on what ecstasy and alcohol could have done to my baby, and I couldn’t find anything helpful. I’ve always been pro-life, but since I’ve had my baby, I’ve become really passionate about it.

Sad but true. I tried the drug “X” for the second time just the night before I found out I was pregnant. And to make things worse, I had been drinking and smoking cigarettes a lot. I was looking at my options, and abortion was trying to creep its way into my life. I kept thinking, what if?! What if there is NOTHING wrong with my baby?! Then what if there is? I didn’t want to take that chance of ending my baby’s life and not giving him a chance at his own life just because I made a mistake. I just prayed every night that God would forgive me and make my baby healthy.

I made an appointment to see my doctor that Monday and when she asked me if I had used any type of drugs or alcohol, I lied. 🙁 I was too embarrassed to admit to what I had done. I regret it now because I believe they could have helped me more with all the problems I had during my pregnancy. I had a really rough pregnancy.  (polyhydramnios, puppps, decelerations in the baby’s heart rate). I’m not sure to this day if it was from the drinking and drug use. Anyways, I’m really writing this message to say I have a BEAUTIFUL baby boy!!! HEALTHY!!! Praise God!!! He was tiny at birth, 5 lbs, but he is now 6 months old and a little fatty! Hahaha I can’t even imagine my life without him now. Everyday when I wake up and go over to his crib, he gives me the biggest gummy grin! Just melts my heart. It is a big job being a mom, but trust me, IT IS SOOO WORTH IT!

Just give these babies a chance at life. Life always works itself out for the good.

🙂 Jaclyn

Ohh Dearest Jaclyn!  Hi, I’m Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website.

Oh my goodness, what a wonderful and encouraging story you have.  I’m so so proud of you for choosing life.  Isn’t it amazing how our minds think these horrible things?  Sometimes the worry is far worse than what we are worried about.  I’m so thankful that your baby is OK! Jaclyn – when you mentioned the big gummy smile, that just made me smile really big!  Not a gummy one though.  Hahaha!

Congratulations on being such a wonderful Stand Up Mommy!

Thank you for sharing.

Luv Lisa