This is the first time I have shared my story of my pregnancy and my baby girl properly.
When I was in College, I got pregnant by my long-term boyfriend and although a shock at the time, we soon became very excited by the prospect of becoming parents. We both love kids and come from large families so knew we could do it and have support. Unfortunately, the excitement was fairly short-lived. At only 24 weeks, I started to get cramps, immediately went to the doctor’s who told me I was going into labour. My heart sank, I knew that my baby girl would be too small and was not ready to come into the world. But there was nothing that could be done when we got to the hospital as I was already 8 cm dilatated.
My baby girl was born on October 4th, 2004, we named her Mya. She was so tiny but so beautiful. However, our worst fears were confirmed. Her little body was too small and fragile to fight for long. She died the same day. Mine and my boyfriend’s world fell apart, but through everything, we had each other and slowly, life goes on.
It has now been 3 and a half years since our baby girl came into the world and left us. Me and my boyfriend are still together and are stronger than ever. There is not a day goes past when we don’t think about her, and we hope she knows that we love her and always will. We are beginning to look to starting a family again in the future, but know that no child will ever replace Mya. She will be forever in our hearts and minds and we will always cherish the few precious minutes we had with her.
I know there are girls on this website that have unfortunately been through similar situations. /i felt the time was right to share my story and try to help others in the same situation. It anyone needs support or advice, I don’t claim to be an expert, but just leave me a message.
Hi Everyone,
I am so happy you are stopping by to read this. I hope that it will guide some of you that are in a very tough stage in life. You may have an unplanned pregnancy and have no clue what to do. You may feel like the world is on your shoulders and you can’t think straight. This BABY is scaring you and you are looking for answers. Some of you are thinking of Abortion. Some of you think there is no way you could do that and are thinking of adoption but heck where do you start with that? And some of you want to parent this child but know that everyone around you will judge you and get angry with that decision. Some of you are thinking how the heck do I tell my parents I am pregnant and what are they going to make me do? Let me tell you one thing if nothing else. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU HAVEN’T BEEN FOR A VERY LONG TIME. Women all over the world right now are in your situation. Some of those countries have legal abortion and some don’t. Some are going to allow adoption to good families and some aren’t.
In America, we have many choices. You only need to see that by walking to a grocery store and the walls are lined with a thousand different ketchups. Isn’t it all made from tomatoes?
If you are pregnant in America ,you have 3 choices: abortion, parenting and adoption. I chose abortion 2 times in my life and I chose parenting 2 times. Out of those 2 choices, parenting was the way to go. People are going to ask you later in life if you have more kids, “How many kids do you have”. I tell them I have two here on earth and 2 in heaven. If you have an abortion, that is where you child will go. If you have an abortion, that maybe the only child you will ever have.
After 15 years and 4 pregnancies later, I decided that my life was a mess and I needed to make some changes. I went to a healing study for women that have had abortions. Here’s the part that we are not told when we decide to have an abortion. Later in life, you will realize that it was a child and you will be lost. Through the healing study, I was allowed to grieve my children and have a memorial for them to connect with 2 children whose lives where ended with a choice to have an abortion.
This is just a short summary of my life and if you have made it this far in reading, then I hope that you will contact me. I am a 34 year old single mom that has found laughter in life. My goal is to share my story with other young ladies that are in an unplanned pregnancy, let them know their options, and if you have had an abortion and you are lost and feel terrible, I will help you to understand why and how to get past that awful feeling that you are nobody for having an abortion.
I am now a trained post abortion counselor and next year will be on the road talking to young men and women about the truth of abortion, how to heal from an abortion and really truly move on from the choice they made or are thinking of making.
If you are still reading and would like to throw some comments my way, could you please answer this question-
If I was in an unplanned pregnancy, I would not have an abortion if I knew ?????
If you have had an abortion, what would it have taken to not have made that choice?
OK, basically I want to know how soon after you have unprotected sex can you take a pregnancy test?
My period already came on for the month of April. I recently stopped using my birth control, I was on the patch. Me and my boyfriend are trying to conceive. I took my patch off on April 24th and haven’t had one on since then. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex since then with the exception of April 29th and 30th due to me having irregular bleeding because I’m not on the patch anymore. I was told I should take a pregnancy test on Monday 5/5, but I want to know. Isn’t that too soon to be able to tell if I’m pregnant? I’ve been experiencing pregnancy symptoms as well. My stomach feels crampy, I feel dizzy like I’m going to pass out, having morning sickness, mood swings, can’t sleep at night really restless. My boyfriend swears I’m pregnant but I don’t want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed.
If anyone can give me some advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
When I first discovered I was pregnant with my Daughter, I was scared, didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to tell the guy I was pregnant by.
I thought to myself he will accept it. Everything would be okay. But coming to find out I was wrong. One day, I sent him a text message explaining to him I was pregnant with his child. Later on that night, he called. It wasn’t what I expected. He told me I had to have an abortion right away. I cried so hard and tried to convince him to let me keep it. Then for awhile, he disappeared on me. I was lost, not knowing what to do. No one to hold my hand and help me make the right choice. Finally, I made my mind up when I was two months. My choice was to keep my seed. I look at it as a blessing.
Only thing was left was to tell my mom. I didn’t know how she would react. Finally, I was brave enough. When I told her, she said I was to have an abortion right away. So she gave me a choice to have an abortion, if not, move out her house. I moved out my mother’s house and into my grandmother’s one bedroom apartment. When I began to hold my head down and thought everything was going bad, God sent me a blessing. My child father walked back in the picture. Everything start looking up for me. Then the storm really came. My grandparent’s drug use now became my burden. It was a time I didn’t have any food to eat. They would steal my money and do me so wrong. That was a down point in my life. Then my storm brightened. I found my father who took me in. I found a new loving family who accepted me being a teen mom.
After going through all that, I have beautiful daughter Samia who is 6 months. She was blessing that change my life for the good.
I AM 19 AND 5 WEEKS PREGNANT.
MY BOYFRIEND IS WORKING AND FINANCIALLY STABLE AT THE MOMENT BUT I AM IN SCHOOL DOING MY MEDICAL DEGREE. IT’S ONLY MY FIRST YEAR BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE THE YEAR OFF AFTER HIGH SCHOOL TO RAISE OUR FIRSTBORN. AT THE MOMENT, I AM REALLY CONSIDERING AN ABORTION BUT I AM SCARED TO DEATH!!
CAN ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH IT PLEASE HELP ME!
11 months ago, I met my boyfriend and we began dating right away.
We were fascinated by each other’s different ideas yet same way of thinking. We fell in love sooo fast! But it felt like there was nothing to lose by loving him… So I went for it…and not even 3 months later, I found myself wanting his children, and without trying for more than 2 weeks…we were pregnant. Now I know I said I wanted to have his kids… But when it was reality, my mind went totally haywire. I didn’t think it would happen so fast…or maybe I didn’t expect it to happen at all. But it did…and deep down my heart, yearned to see this baby in my arms. I work with kids in a daycare and have all the patience in the world… My boyfriend is totally supportive and wanted the baby too…
So the plan was to keep it…but meanwhile, my mom and ex-boyfriend/childhood best friend disagreed and my boyfriend was pushed away. I stopped going to school for a few weeks and my only influences were people who didn’t want me to keep the baby. I was stuck in my house…and really stuck inside my own head with all the pressure of the world on my shoulders. I’ve never cried so much in my life…every day…before bed…whenever I talked to my boyfriend about it… I even asked him what he thought about abortion he said he’d leave me if I did it but that if its what I wanted, then go for it. Instead of seeing what I should do, it scared me and I was still left with no sure decision. My mom took me to a few clinics just to talk about my options…but it turned into talking about why abortions were such a good idea and it was clear that that’s all anyone around me wanted. I was so sick of crying and so sick of the pressure and disapproval…and not having the support of my boyfriend cuz we weren’t allowed to see each other… I got home and told my brother to tell my mom I’ll do it. I hid under the covers in my bed curled up and cried so hard, knowing it wasn’t what I wanted. But I wanted EVERYTHING to end because it was just way too much for me. Mind you… I have anxiety and depression disorders… So when I hit rock bottom, I really hit rock bottom. A few days later, I made the appointment myself, which made it so hard… but I was going through with it. And I didn’t see myself backing out now…even though I wanted to more than anything..
Through the next week, I talked to my boyfriend and pretended like we were still going to have the baby… My guilt killed me inside but I didn’t want him to leave me. When the day came, I went to the clinic with my mom and acted like nothing was wrong the whole time… I was totally calm, not realizing I was about to ruin my life. I went into a room to get an ultrasound but the lady took forever to come in… So I sat there 30 minutes, crying on and off, not sure if I was all that ready… I told myself, “If she comes in after the minute hand goes around the clock one more time…then I’m keeping the baby… If she comes in before it, then I’m having the abortion…” Well here’s my luck… As soon as the minute hand hit 60 seconds, she walked in… So what the hell was I gonna do?
She says “First, I have to ask you if this is what you really want” and I slapped my hands to my face and started balling… I knew my answer but I choked out, “My mom really wants me to and I don’t know…” I mumbled some more and then got myself together cuz I told myself No More Crying… She handed me a tissue and I said “Yeaa..” So we got a picture of the baby… I kept one for me and one for my boyfriend… She seemed confused by that… She’s such a professional yet she couldn’t see that I didn’t want to do it by all my tears and the fact that I wanted a picture of the baby… Her only concern was getting it over with rather than the fact that my happiness was at risk.
We went into another room with my mom and I signed sooo many papers… I chose a form of abortion through pill because I was scared to have surgery… The whole 40 minutes of signing and agreeing to it all, I kept my mouth shut tight and choked back my tears… My mom asked me a few times if I was sure but if I said no, I knew I’d cry… So I said yes.
The lady left and came back with a huge pill…and a cup of water… As soon as she handed it to me. I took it… I didn’t even wanna second guess it. There was 4 more pills to be taken to complete the process but that would be the next day at home. The first pill basically stopped my hormones from giving my baby life…which meant there was no turning back.
I left the place with a little bag of animal crackers…compliments of the clinic…..
I was so hungry and my only thoughts were to find something to distract myself from pain so we got somethin to eat before going home. I went to bed with my brain, so tired of all the things I had to process throughout the day…and my heart empty…
I woke up the next morning and it hit me what I had done to myself and MY child. I started crying for about an hour till my mom heard me and came in my room… She asked what was wrong… Through sobs, I spilled out that I didn’t want to do it… And she started to cradle me, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me? I asked you.” She had such sympathy for me that I realized I had the chance to stop it all but it was too late by now. So all I could do was look forward to finishing what I started.
To help me feel better, we went to get our toenails done, but all I felt the whole time was guilt and regret. I texted my boyfriend, telling him I was at the hospital and I miscarried… That was it.. I hate myself for being so deceitful of him but I knew the pain I felt and I didn’t want him to feel the same. I started having some cramps and sweating a lot. When we got home, I took the rest of the pills… I had to let 2 on one side of my cheeks and 2 on the other, dissolve for a half hour and then swallow what was left… My mom gave me a heating pad and a bucket (for throw up) and left to get my painkillers. I started getting the worst cramps I’ve ever had in my life. I called my boyfriend and started crying in agony of my pain… He asked to come see me so he could help me but my mom said to wait for her to get home… So I said no…
I hung up and the blood started pouring out. I threw up and ran to the bathroom… I sat on the toilet so wacked out from the pain. My body was numb and I was burning up… I ripped off all my clothes and fell on the floor… I started yelling in pain and finally, my mom came home… I bled all over the floor and myself and all I wanted was to not be conscious because this pain wasn’t supposed to be so severe . I passed out for a few minutes and when I woke back up, my mom was putting clothes on me and my aunt carried me out to the car. We rushed to a hospital about 45 min away. I was shivering and the cramping was lightening up. My body was still numb. We finally got there and I didn’t even know what to tell the nurse. They took my info and had me wait for a long time. A couple hours later, I was feeling fine…a little shaken and tired but..it was pretty much over with…except the bleeding… They gave me an ultrasound and the baby was gone. It was so uncomfortable to be handled so lightly because it was devastating for me.
I stayed home from school all week and went I went back everyone knew I lost the baby… But they only knew by miscarriage… I didn’t want the drama of a bunch of immature high school kids misunderstanding my situation.
The next 2 months were spent with my boyfriend crying…He always tried to make me feel better by saying it’s not my fault…but I knew that it really was and it hurt every time I lied to him. It was his baby too and he should have had a say in it. Finally one night i started crying and i clung to him ..the lights were off…he woke up and asked me what was wrong and i said “i have to tell you something.” After a while of crying and hinting, he knew what I meant and he told me to say the words myself…So I did…I never felt so horrible and I expected him to break up with me then and there. I even told him that’s what I thought would happen…but he just grabbed me and held me tight. I know he’ll never understand from my point of view…but he forgave me..to an extent. We fight sometimes and if that’s brought up, he’ll say something negative about what I did… but I let him because that’s the least he can do… But even now 7 months later, I’m still in pain. I failed my junior year of high school and lost my spot in the childcare program, which is my dream…
My boyfriend and I went through such a hard time up until 3 months ago. I barely remember everything because I was such a mess. Now, we are so strong and more in love then we’ve ever been in and I can feel us growing up so much. And about 2 weeks ago, I found out i was pregnant…which makes me 2 months right now…and I couldn’t be more sure of what I want. And I couldn’t be ANY happier about this baby. I know God felt that I wasn’t ready before so He gave me some time to figure myself out…and I know He gave me back the baby I was going to have the first time.
I don’t want to say I wish I did things differently because I’m so happy with my life right now… I have a lot to fix (with school) and my job but I’m so willing to do that if it means having my baby back. but I will say I wish I never had to feel the pain I felt and I hope I never have to feel it again…So anyone who’s reading this, make sure you do what’s in YOUR heart because in the end, you know it’s your decision that matters and it’s YOUR life that changes.
