Hi Guys! You have no idea how happy I was to find out that this website still exists! This site was my refuge back in my teenage years–with pregnancy and all that stuff. I just want to share my story and how StandUpGirl.com has helped me become who I am today.
I was 16 that time. I had a boyfriend, who I was always with all the time. We had a fairly good relationship I can say. But that was only in the beginning. We used to drink a lot. And I mean a whole lot. We always get drunk and never really cared. Then came the serious stuff, boom! I got pregnant. When I told my boyfriend about it, he pulled a disappearing act on me! (I had no idea he had some magic tricks! just kidding) All he told me was he wasn’t ready for a child and it was my choice. He also said that if I was to have an abortion, he wouldn’t help me because it’s against his belief. What a douche! I didn’t know what to do. I cannot really confide to my friends who are at the same age bracket as mine because I don’t think they can accept it. I don’t know but it felt like I was not 16 at the time. I felt like I was already in my 20’s. Since I cannot tell anyone, I decided to find other options. That feeling when you just cannot contain the guilt and the shame anymore that you just need to tell someone. And writing it in a journal won’t even help. I tried a help line for pregnant teenagers, but the women I spoke with doesn’t seem to be of any help at all. It was like they were just reading some scripts and never cared about my true feelings. Then I decided to google my situation and found StandUpGirl.com. It was like the gates of heaven opened in front of me. I read stories from different women and how they have survived it. I have found a lot of inspiration from these women.Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. Maybe it was because of too much stress or I don’t know. But because I was young and stupid at 16, I went and continue my relationship with my magician boyfriend. He said that if I ever get pregnant again, he will stay by my side and never leave. (to me it was like the hallelujah chorus). Two years later, I got pregnant again. He never left when he found out, though there were some changes in him. I decided to keep the baby. And oh by the way, I was in my freshman year and had to go to school with my very pregnant uterus. My parents decided I need to finish my Bachelor’s degree. Thank God for very understanding parents! I was 19 when I delivered my healthy baby boy.
Then began the horror, my then boyfriend became so different. He suddenly gets jealous a lot, accused me of things, and then he started hitting me. I thought it was just a phase but it became a cycle. We started living together in a house when my child turned 2. It was a nightmare for me. I left my friends because he was too concerned that I might have a relationship with some of them(hello, though he knows all of my GUY friends are GAY!). He was pushing me into marrying him but I never said yes.
It took a lot of courage to finally decide to leave that man. I was in my fourth year when we separated. And it was a liberation! At first, I was afraid of the single mother stigma. To me, I would rather live with that stigma than be miserable the rest of my life with that man. Fortunately, I was able to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing.
Now, I can tell you that leaving that man was the best decision I have ever made.I am now a Registered Nurse. The stigma doesn’t exist. In the modern world of ours today, single mothers are celebrated and respected. I salute any man who falls in love with a single mother!
Sophmore In College
Regret at 18
The Beginning of Being a Teen Mom
What will actually happen when I lose my virginity? I heard so many different things…..Is it true that I will bleed? Will the guy notice if I bleed??
I just had my daughter Alexandra a couple of weeks ago and word got around quickly around my school
About 5 months ago before I started college I found out I was pregnant, I was only 16. I didn’t know what to do, I was so lost and confused.
I wasn’t sure what I really wanted. I had always loved the fact of having a baby, having a family that I never really had, as I’ve never been close to my family. I mean now, me and my boyfriend talk about how much we’d love to be a family. when I found out I was in shock, I was so scared. I had told my boyfriend and he said it would be the right thing to abort it, as he was going to uni and wouldn’t be there as much as he would like. I guess he had a point, my mum was a lone parent and she struggled. I didn’t want that, I wanted the best for my child. I felt my mum wanted me to abort the child but she never said anything. I didn’t want to do it at all, I felt I was being selfish, I was having sleepless night day after day at the thought of abortion, but because I loved my family I decided to do it, but now I realize that it was the wrong decision.
I’m ashamed of my self from what I did. I’ve had counseling sessions, and nothing seams to be working. I keep reading online of how bad my choice was, I just want my baby back. I’m completely broken, I’m a new person. I just want the old me back, all these stories saying they started to forget and forgive after a year. I don’t want to wait that long, I don’t know what to do. I have no one to talk to, every time I bring it up with my boyfriend he just ignores it. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, I feel that guilty. My family and boyfriend are scared for me.I don’t know what to do, what else can I do?
Please could you share this as well, it would be nice to know it could help someone else as these stories have helped me.
Thank you for your time, it means so much.
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I am seeking some advice on how to cope with the overwhelming stress of having a constantly sick child. My daughter has severe asthma and has been constantly struggling to breathe since she was about 15 months old. She is now 3 1/2 years old and in the last 4 months, things have gotten progressively worse. She has had pneumonia twice in the last 3 months and is now on 2 new medications to help with her breathing. I am a single mother so having a supportive partner isn’t really available at the moment. I have a little boy who is 5 1/2 and currently in Kindergarten. He is in good health and has been such a trooper when it comes to me taking care of his sister but I do feel bad that he is missing out on getting attention from time to time when things are bad with her. Has anyone been through anything similar? How have you handled the situation? Thank you!!
When I was 16 years old, I had my beautiful little boy with a guy I loved with all my heart. About 2 months after our son was born, he took off. He wasn’t ready to “grow up”. My son will be 2 in February, and his dad started coming back around again in September. We reunited and tried to work out our relationship again. Needless to say, I couldn’t let go of our past, and I couldn’t allow myself to accept the way he treated me so horribly. I left, only to find out I’m pregnant with his child, again. I’m now 18. He nearly cost me my job, so I’m on a probation period of no more than 15 hours a week, and only getting minimum wage. My son’s father came to me today and told me he lost his job. That also means no child support. I was receiving about 400$ a month in child support. I have nowhere near enough money to support myself, plus two children. I forgot to mention that I live with my parents. My mother told me I have to be out on my own before the second baby is born. I cannot afford that either. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t think that I could ever really consider abortion, but I do think that maybe adoption is the right choice in this situation, although, I am not sure I could bear the pain of giving a child away to perfect strangers. I am not sure what to do. I have absolutely no support at all. I have no friends. I have very little family. I have no one. My ex was so controlling that he was all I had, and now that I left him I am left with nothing and no one. I don’t know what to do. Someone please help with some advice?
