I think I’m about 5 weeks pregnant. The condom broke about a week after my last period…
I’m supposed to take the test in 2 days with my boyfriend. But now I’m feeling pretty sure that I am pregnant. My breasts have been swollen, I’ve been feeling sickly, and my period is late. My boyfriend and I have talked about what we’re going to do a lot in the past month if I am. I know that he wants me to have an abortion cause he “doesn’t want to see me go through that” and “doesn’t think he could give the baby up for adopting once I’ve had it” but we both know we are too young. I’m newly 16 and he’s about to be 17…
But I want this baby. Even if it means my life is 300 times harder. I would have never wanted to be put in this situation but now that I am… I know that I want to keep it. I’m just scared I’m gonna be on my own if I do keep him or her. I have a semi-hard home life so I don’t think I’ll have support from them, and my boyfriend obviously doesn’t want it. I just don’t know what to do. If I keep the baby, I’m scared I’m gonna loose the love of my life. We still talk about getting married someday and having a family, but he continuously reminds me that he’s not ready for this baby, and doesn’t want me to have this baby.
I really need help. How do I tell him how I feel?
I’m only just turned 18 + I have a borderline personality disorder.
I’m on strong anti-depressants, and see a psychiatrist once a week… My home life is a wreck ( dad’s a violent alcoholic wife-beater) and I have 6 months left of year 12… I have always been the overachiever dux of the school and always receiving awards… I just found out I’m pregnant… I’m about 6-7 weeks, my situation with the baby’s dad is at least complicated… We were together for 3 years, but things have ended between us, and he wants me to abort it because he’s not ready… I’m not so sure… I’m afraid… Could I raise this baby completely on my own???? No help from family or him….. I’m gutted because I want to go to university and make something of myself… but there is this niggling feeling that I should suck it up and be a mum… Any advice is appreciated… I just need something, before I end up knecking myself……
Thanx
I started dating this guy a few months ago. He was so sweet and nice and I thought that everything was going great between him and I.
He’s going into the Marines soon, he leaves September 8th, and so I didn’t really think this relationship was going to last that long, but I was wrong. We fell in love (so I thought) and we started having sex and before we had sex I told him that I have P.C.O.S. (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and I knew plenty of people that could not get pregnant who had it, so I thought that I couldn’t either. So we had unprotected sex, and I thought everything was fine. Well, he finally showed his true colors one day, and I saw how much of an anger problem he had, and sometimes, it really scared me, but I kept my feelings to myself, because I truly thought that he was still a great guy. Ya know everyone has their glitches kinda thing. So I took his anger all the time. He didn’t even have to be mad at me. He would still take his anger out on me even if he was mad at someone else. So he leaves to go visit his family out of state, and I didn’t hear from him for about two weeks, and one day he finally calls me and starts yelling at me, saying that it’s my fault that he hasn’t called me in two weeks, but I didn’t know the number to where he was staying.
Later that night, I started thinking when I was taking a shower about how I haven’t had my period in a while, and I automatically thought OMG I’m pregnant! So the next day, I went to the drug store to get a pregnancy test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. So I went to the doctor and did a urine test and got blood drawn to make sure I was. When the urine test came back positive, I was shocked still. When I got home, I called and told him. He seemed OK with it at first and then he had one of his anger spells. He came home a couple weeks later, and he seemed perfectly normal and fine with everything. Then we started talking about what we were going to do about me being pregnant, and things of that nature. He acted happy about it all. but these past few weeks went down hill.
He came over to my house and stayed for a few days, and got really mean with my little brother, and so my mom got really mad at him, and then my parents told me that he was never allowed back in our house. I told him all this and he got really upset and mad about it, so I thought I should give him some space so I went to a friend’s house to be with her while she had her baby. So he texted me one night and was being all “lovey-dovey” and then he asks me if I would ever leave him, and of course, I said no. Then he calls me and tells me that he cheated on me earlier that day! So he wanted me to come to his house so we could talk about things. Then he tells me that it was all a test to see if I would leave him, and that he didn’t really cheat on me. But I don’t know what to believe anymore.
So he told me when I got to his house that he wanted to take a break, to clear his head and try to fix his anger problem for me and the baby. So we keep talking, but not like we used to, so I start doubting if he really does care about me and love me. And so one night, he got really mad at me and said that all I ever do is try to start fight with him, and he was tired of it. But I was the one who took all of his anger outbursts and said nothing to him, and now that I’m pregnant, my hormones make be really “witchy”. But no, he can’t take anything from me! So he let me go to cool down, and he said he was going to call me back, but he kept on ignoring my calls and texts.
So i fall asleep and at about 3 am, he texts me and says that he’s tired of fighting all the time, and he knows that were having a kid but he found someone else but that he would take care of the baby. I immediately started crying. I couldn’t believe that I’m having a baby with him, and he left me for someone else! I have been crying for past two days about it, and I am soooo scared because I am going to be a single mother, and I didn’t want my baby to grow up without a father like I did. It sucked! I wanted to have a family and stay together, for my baby. and now everything I thought was going to be OK isn’t! It hurts so much, but I’m trying not to cry as bad as I did yesterday because I got so upset that I started throwing up, and that’s not good for the baby when I’m all stressed out. So I have been trying to distract myself from the hurt and pain of it all.
Everyone in my family has been telling me “it’s his loss” or ” look at it this way, at least this happened now then later after you have the baby” but the worst part, I guess, is that there is nothing that i can do about this. But I am definitely not going to take him back, because he is never going to change. He’s just going to keep hurting me and if I keep taking him back after he does things like this, he’ll keep thinking that its OK to treat people like that, and just keep doing it. And I don’t want that around my baby. I don’t want it to think that its OK to be treated like that and then when they get older, and someone treats them like that, they think its OK. Plus his anger is only going to get worse, and I don’t want that around my baby, even though it is his baby also.
If he can’t control his anger now, what’s going to happen when the baby comes and it’s crying all the time, and he doesn’t get sleep, or the baby throws up on him? I’m scared that he’s going to hit the baby, and I don’t even want to take a chance with that. and also he leaves for basic training for the marines on September 8th. He’s not even going to be around to his child grow up.
So I’m 18 and 8 weeks pregnant and I’m going to be a single mom!
I know that my story about pregnancy is different from many that you will see here, but I hope that it can help. I too want to share my story so that you ladies out there know you aren’t alone. My husband and I had tried for several years to get pregnant, going through the beginnings of fertility treatments. We so much wanted a child. We both cried when we found out that I was pregnant. We were all set to welcome our little girl Nadia Joy into our family this coming August, but the Lord had a different plan for us. This is our story…
This, like many pregnancies, came with its own set of trials. Early on, I had been spotting and we thought we might lose our baby then. With lots of prayer we got our miracle, and by 20 weeks our precious little girl was perfect and perfectly healthy. We were looking forward to another 20 weeks of a healthy pregnancy. I had to have another ultrasound at 24 weeks because she wouldn’t show her face, and the dr. needed to see it to know if she had any special needs that might come up at birth. So, all was normal and fine until then.
At the 24 week, her heartbeat had slowed dangerously low. It hovered between 60 and 70 beats per minute, when it should have been twice that. It also stopped at one point during the ultrasound. There were many things that could be wrong, but we needed to do some blood work and see a specialist in the morning. I went home with the knowledge that our best bet was to make it another week at least until she was just old enough to live outside the womb. She needed to make it to 25 weeks to even have a chance of living. There was a lot of prayer for healing, and preparing for the worst.
When we got to the specialist on the morning of April 24th, they started another ultrasound. Having had five, I’d gotten pretty good at knowing what to look for. There was no heartbeat. The tech was silent, and I did have to ask to make sure, but our sweet little girl was gone. We both had a chance to cry and absorb the initial shock. My husband’s parents had come, as had my mom, who had been with me the previous day.
They came back and we all sat and cried while we waited for the doctor to come in. We talked about our options, and I decided to be induced right away, instead of waiting another few hours. I went to the hospital and they started the induction at 11:45 am. They had no idea how long it would take before she was born, but it could be later that night, or as late as Sunday. Only time would tell. We were gearing up for a long, grief filled process.
At 1:12 am, April 25, our precious Nadia Joy was born. She had already been home with the Lord for probably a day. She was perfectly formed. She even had lines in her footprints already! She had blonde hair that you couldn’t really see much of, but it was there. She even had eyelashes! She was 1 lb, 4 oz, and 12.5 inches long. We had family and close friends there with us to meet Nadia and hold her. We were very fortunate to get to hold her and see her so perfect.
Ok, so those are the facts.
The rest of the story is the spiritual one. We are so blessed. We had so many people praying for us and with us. As hard as this is, God has given both my husband and I so much peace. For me personally, this whole thing has been such a blessing. I got pregnant when the doctors thought I couldn’t. We had a pregnancy that lasted longer than we thought it was going to at first. I got the experience of feeling my baby move and react to sounds, I’ve now been through labor, though I’m sure it will be different next time around, and I got to hold my little girl. Justin got to see her grow in me, he got to feel her kick, and he got to hold his daughter.
Both Justin and I are definitely grieving, and there are times that will be harder than others, but we both have peace that only God can give. We have complete confidence and trust in what He does, regardless of our understanding or lack thereof.
One thing I realized this morning after coming home without our girl was something about how God must feel about His children. I was crying, and telling my husband that I just didn’t understand how I could love someone so much in so short a time, and know so much about them without them knowing me. I realized that God feels that way about us. He makes us His perfect creation, designed to love Him and have a relationship with Him. He waits expectantly for us to know Him, to be born again, and for us to spend our whole lives learning about Him and who He is as our Father. When we refuse to have that relationship with Him, it’s like the stillborn child. Perfect in every way, created to love and be loved, and to spend a lifetime getting to know the ones who bore us. They just never make it that far. They are still loved, still wanted, and there are still hopes and dreams that we have for our children, and that God has for us, that will never have the chance to be fulfilled.
I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family and such wonderful friends who have stood with us through this, that they were there with us to hold her and mourn with us. I am also so thankful that they understand that this is the loss of a child, not a pregnancy. She has a name, a birth date, she is an individual. She is still one of the grandchildren, the others will just never have the opportunity to play with her. She will always be our firstborn, and she will always have a place in the family. I am so blessed that God used me to carry His little girl. That though I may not have had her for long, He let us share in a life that was too special for this realm. I’m so thankful that my girl didn’t have pain. I know I will see her when I go Home, and until then she is well. As a friend’s
Hi to everyone!
Well, I am just new here… I got some worries these days and I found someone I can’t talk to without hesitation to ask… I am not yet sure if I am pregnant or not but my last period was on June 20’s between 20-23… I had intercourse last July 9 and now I am worrying if I will get pregnant because I felt something different these days… My heartbeat was quite fast and it doesn’t post in the symptoms of pregnancy that I have read even just a days that you will be pregnant that you will like that… I can use a pregnancy test now?? And I am worrying about this thing… I am so afraid these days and also I can’t ask anyone about these things because I am not married yet, I hope you can help me by sharing your thoughts to me…
Thank you so much!
Hi, I’m new to this and I have read many of the entries. They are affecting me because I am in da middle of deciding what to do bout my pregnancy.
I found out I was pregnant and I’m prolly 7 weeks in. I told my boyfriend’s parents and they gave me da money to get a abortion. Deep down inside of me, even though I don’t always make da best decisions, I want to keep da baby and feel I will be a good mother, but I don’t want to put it up for adoption because I know I do not want no one else raising my child. I’m so confused and have been trying to find answers but it seems I can’t. My boyfriend, da father, supports whatever decision I decide but sometimes I feel we won’t be ready. I’m only in my second year in college and I know it will be hard to tell my real family and my foster family because they all expect me to do great. I cry every night just thinkin dat if I kill my baby, I will never be da same. I’m so scared and don’t know wat to do.
For any gurl reading this, please know that even if you’re thinkin bout havin a abortion, it affects you already. Everyday, I wonder what’s goin to happen but I know that dis is a decision that, no matter what I decided, will follow me for the rest of my life. Hopefully, my faith in God will be stronger then any parents’ decision can be put towards me and that I make da right decision before its too late.
