Can i enjoy life again

Dear Becky,

This year for me was meant to be my personal and financial growth year. I lost my father three years ago on March 26. I made strict goals for this year. I met the love of my life in this year, and September 9th, I urinated on a stick and saw what was the most frightening realization ever. My world crashed on this day, thinking this is not me, I’m an ambitious hard worker, not a mom. I don’t know how to be both and I’m not going to try. I then found out about abortion clinics, told my partner and he asked me if I really wanted to go through with the abortion. If yes or no, he will support me throughout. That made me forget about the aftermath and I just focused on “us”. September 11th I found out I was 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The Monday that followed I took the abortion pill and went through the trauma of keeping this secret from my family and suffering by myself, no one to hold me or cry with me, although my partner kept apologizing about the pain and calling me, asking me what he could do. That still did not help a thing.

I have been through this ordeal and had no one to hold. I go through each day with a smile that’s forced onto my face. I pretend I’m fine, or my answer to everything “how are you”, how’s your day” is always “fine”. I was once the girl that made everyone want to be alive and i was the girl who didn’t go a day without laughing. I now am the one in need of that girl to make me want to live again.

My partner is the sweetest and most caring man. I just feel we’re still young and such things should only be discussed when we’re older and are able to handle my breakdown. I now dig my head into work overload, and I’m distancing myself from him. I struggle to make conversation or rather, I struggle to communicate with him and he’s feeling very excluded and sad about this. These thoughts are holding me back from enjoying life.

How do I move on from this?

9 weeks

I was 9 weeks when I had gotten an abortion.

I had gotten a abortion because my boyfriend wasn’t ready to have a kid. But then after I had done it, I realized that I shouldn’t of done it. I regret it every day of my life. I wish I didn’t do it but I know that I cant change what I did. But I will live with this pain for the rest of my life and I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m still with him and all we do is fight because I blame him for it but he says it was for the better but I think that if I kept it, I would of been in a better spot than I am now. My mother didn’t think i should of gotten it so she kicked me out before I even went to go get it done. After it was done, no one in my family wanted to talk to me so I had to go live with my friends which was hard to do. Now I am living with my sister till my boyfriend can find us a place. I have no job, no car license.

I just can’t do it.

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

I’m 8 weeks prego today.

Oct, Sunday 10th around midnight, my boyfriend and I had sex. I had to stop having sex with him cuz I started bleeding down there. It only lasted about a half an hour. And for the past few days, I’ve been hurting down there. I’m really scared. I think I lost the baby but I’m not sure. I’m scared to go to the doctor’s and find out…

If you know anything that can help me, please let me know. Please and thank you

Should I?

I looked up on google.com to find a website about teen pregnancy and came about standupgirl.com and thought I would blog this to see if anyone could help me.

I’m a 16-year-old jr. in high school that has a lot of problems with my mom. And I was told by my school counselor that if it gets too bad, just to walk out and go to the cops. On a Sunday night at 10:30, I did just that and went to the cops. And now I’m in the group home. I have been suicidal (on and off) for about 5 years now, and I have tried everything. And now that I’m out of the house away from my mom, I feel depressed and alone and I’m afraid that I might get suicidal again. Last year my boyfriend of 7 months, took my v-card and I ended up pregnant but lost it a month later, and not a lot of people know that I was. And now that I know that was pregnant that I would not even THINK about going depressed like I was again. So now I’m thinking that I want to get pregnant. but I don’t know if it is a good idea or not. I see this as the only way. I need someone to love me and want me and I know I won’t get rid of it no matter what. I’m so confused.

PLEASE HELP ME!

My Story

I’m 15 + I had an abortion last October and I regretted it so badly.

I was pushed into it by my boyfriend. He said he would leave me and I’d be a single mum if I never got rid of it. It was hard as well because my mum was evicted from our house earlier on that year so I was living with my boyfriend as well and if I kept the baby, I would have nowhere to live either. I was so scared. I was 14 weeks at 2 days pregnant when I had the abortion. When I came home, my boyfriend supported me but after a couple of days, it was like it never even happened. He was normal and we started arguing a lot. Then the next month he split up with me, so I lost him either way, but I still lived with him and we were still having sex. It was like we never even broke up but we didn’t class each other as partners.

Then a couple of months later, he slept with a different girl and I was heartbroken. He said that she got on top of him an forced him, but when I spoke to her, she told me that she did persuade him to do it, but it wasn’t just her in control.
He still tells me that till this day but we got over that. As I was living with him, I couldn’t leave him because I’d have nowhere to go. Even though I really wanted to go, I had to stay there and act like everything was fine. A couple of months later, I slept round his mate’s house and got really drunk and ended up sleeping with him. Then it went on for longer until I realized it was wrong and I was only doing it to give my ex-boyfriend the pain i felt for all this time. So I came clean and told him what happened between us.

Now a year down the line, we are still the same. I’m 16 next month and pregnant with his baby again. We are keeping the baby this time as I told him that I will not get rid of it again and he said he understood and wishes he never made me do it last time. He said he has grown up now, but our relationship still hasn’t changed. We still ain’t together but if we went with someone else, it would be classed as cheating and at the moment, I have this weird idea in my head that he is seeing someone else. I don’t know why I think it. He keeps telling me I’m been stupid an he makes me believe him for a while. Then I start to think it again. Could it be just me thinking like that cause I’m pregnant?

I’m Really scared. I’m not sure if I’m making the right decision, but I know if I had another abortion, it would kill me.