Hard Time Pregnancy Journey

My pregnancy journey…I’m 29 years of age, 23 weeks pregnant and expecting baby girl soon.

This is my 2nd pregnancy after 6 years. We’ve been trying to get pregnancy for almost a year and thanks to God its an answered prayer.

Last Feb. 2018 we didn’t know that I was pregnant. No signs its just that i was sick for 2 weeks. March 1st week I was planning to have a paps-mere. Thanks to God it didn’t happen because of the doctors availability.

March 7th I did my first pregnancy test and its NEGATIVE.. I was so stressed thinking why I didn’t get pregnant until now. So I waited for March 10, 2018 for my monthly period luckily it didn’t came so i waited again until March 15, 2018. March 16, 2018 i decided to do pregnancy test again and finally I am 7 weeks pregnant.

My pregnancy journey didn’t goes well the doctor advised me to take bed rest. I was scared thinking if I lost my baby because of my spotting.

Last June 4, 2018 we decided to do the ultrasound and thanks God my little angel is okay but still i need to do extra care from now on.
On to this day, i am having hard time to sleep at night.. Its always I’m awake at night and sleep at day time.. Now i can really feel my baby is kicking. I am hoping and praying that she well be OK until i gave birth soon.

By Baby Girl

Sweet Nightmare Pregnancy Story

Pregnancy is such an sweet nightmare experience. Some people says its beautiful and some don’t; however, the end result is priceless. I cannot say that I enjoyed pregnancy. It was horrible not physically but mentally. I hated life, I was mean and aggressive. I was never sick during the pregnancy. I never had morning sickness or anything else. As a matter of fact I find out that I was pregnant 3 months in. The only thing that I was stress about was how am suppose to take care of another human being. That was my main concern while pregnant. Despite everything, once gave birth it got better. Overall my pregnancy was not a great experience but having a kid that actually loves you and call you mommy is priceless!

By Lydia

Thank you Lydia for sharing your story with us!

 

Anything But A Heroine

My friend recommended this site to me. She said that it helped her heal from her decision, and although mine was almost 10 years and 8 months ago now, time, and pro-life advocacy groups have done nothing for the wound.  I guess my story starts on the second worst day of my life. June 26th 2015.

I was taking a few summer courses to assist my goal of early graduation, and leaving a study group late I was attacked and sexually assaulted. I was in shock, I never thought that something like that could happen to me.  I never put myself in the situations where that was a risk.  I didn’t report for a week.  I thought if I just stayed inside until the bruises faded enough to be covered by make-up and went about my world it would be like it never happened.  I told no one but my priest, who tried to assure me that it wasn’t my fault and that my purity was not in question before God, and things started to return to some form of normal.  My priest talked me into reporting, and I was seeing a catholic counselor, things weren’t okay, but it was starting to feel like it was going to be.

Than my world began crashing down to the paramount worst day of my life.  It started when I noticed that I was having some pretty strong mood swings.  I dropped a jar of apple jelly I had just bought and sat on my kitchen floor and cried for an hour over it.  My counselor told me not to worry, those kinds of mood swings are normal for sufferers of post traumatic stress, so I brushed it off.  Then my lower back started to hurt like…well it hurt bad.  I brushed off the pain as pre-period cramps.  I had gotten them in the past, and my doctor wanted to put me on birth control to ebb them, but being a roman catholic that was not an option to me.  Then I had pain in my hips, like someone was pulling me apart.  I excused that as my body reacting to the massive ramp up in my workout, my way of dealing with the trauma of the attack.

Pregnancy didn’t even hit my thoughts until July, 18 2015.  I got up as I usually did and made my routine cup of Irish Breakfast Tea, sweetened with a little honey, and softened with cream.  The moment I picked up the cup to take a drink and the smell met my nose, I dropped the cup on the kitchen floor and ran to the bathroom.  At first I thought it was a stomach bug, but when I was perfectly fine a couple of moments later the thought of pregnancy hit me like a sack of bricks.

I called a friend, who called a mutual friend, and they came bearing ginger ale, Snickers minis, and a pregnancy test.  We sat up all night talking about the possibilities, and the options.  It was nice to not be alone the following morning, but it was still the worst day of my life when I saw the test line practically glow before the control line started to form.  And that’s the worst day of my life, July,19 2015.  That’s the day where on the bathroom floor, crying so hard I couldn’t pick up my head, for six hours considering the “options”.

I spent the next three days trying to come up with justifications and explanations for each one.  Keeping the baby was not an option.  Where on one hand I knew this child was half me, weighing so heavily on the other was it was also half my attacker, and the sight of it would be a constant reminder of everything that was taken from me almost a month ago.

This is all I can write for now, I am going to drown my keyboard if I keep going.  I hope this helps someone.  If it impacts you please let me know.

Hey Dad, I’m Late!

Hi Jewel,

I was 19 years old when I got pregnant. My mom and sister already got their menstrual period so I was thinking maybe I’m just delayed or something. But then again thoughts came to my mind.

We just moved in Canada. Before we left the Philippines I had sex with my boyfriend. I was thinking maybe I’m just so stressed about living in another country, a new home, new environment, everything, that I was late.

I kept fighting the feeling that “maybe I am pregnant”.

Then I searched the symptoms of pregnancy.. and as days passed by.. these symptoms are starting to appear.. I was afraid to go to the doctor because of my negative thoughts.. the doctor might say that “You’re so young and pregnant”.. I was afraid to face the truth and what people with think of me.. 5 months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. so I’m wondering.. maybe I should  get a pregancy test kit.. so I went to the pharmacy and got one.. I came home and tried it.. in my shock “I AM PREGNANT!”..

Oh my gosh! I didn’t know what to do.. My parents expect a lot from me.. I’m in college.. still adjusting to this new country.. and my family are still adjusting.. We have money problems and we have a lot of problems.. and I called my boyfriend and we thought of abortion..I really don’t want to abort my child.. but thinking of my father hot headedness.. my mother budgeting the expenses.. I’m still in college.. no money.. and my ambitions to have a healthy and wealthy life before I have a child and to be married first before having a child.. This was soo unexpected.. So I searched the net for abortion.. and I found this clinic where they do abortion.. They put me first for counselling.. and you know what.. While I was talking to the counsellor.. I wanted to cry.. but I kept on saying to myself..

“Don’t cry.. Don’t let them see that you’re weak.. that  deep inside of me.. I really don’t want to abort this baby..”.. I am a Catholic.. and in our religion.. an abortion is a big NO!.. never to be done.. so I said to myself while crying.. “This is final! I’m going to abort my baby!”.. but you know what.. every time I’m thinking of abortion.. my baby kept on kicking.. like she wants to say “Mommy please don’t do this!”.. Days and nights have passed.. and still I’m crying inside.. if there is only no choice not to do this abortion.. and guess what! God made a miracle..

I’m 20 weeks pregnant.. and they can’t do abortion in this place! They only do abortion for 19 weeks of pregnancy! Oh thank God!! So I said to myself! I will keep this baby and never ever thought of aborting it again! Whatever happens.. this is my baby.. if my dad can’t accept it.. so what! This is not his baby! It’s mine! It’s made with my own flesh!!

Then months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. and I wear loose clothes so that they will not notice.. but  my mom noticed it.. and kept on asking me if I was pregnant.. but then again.. I kept on denying it.. until the day.. she and I went out to have lunch.. and she asked me again if I was pregnant.. then I said to myself.. “Tell now! this is the time! You can’t keep this forever!”.. so I told her.. she didn’t get mad… instead she was asking me.. Did I go to a doctor to have a prenatal check-up?! TShe told me.. “This is life on your womb!”.. and I said “Yes!”.. and to my surprise my younger sister was the first one to found put the I was preggy.. she run through my things and saw my appointment for an ultrasound.. and my sister was the one that told my mom that I was pregnant.. They are just waiting for me to confirm it.. but as you all know.. my family is not a happy family.. my mom and dad is not in a good condition… my dad is a very hot headed person.. so me.. my sister and my mom kept my pregnancy from my dad.. Everyone know except my dad.. so I kept on praying to God..  “Please God! Hear my prayer! please lighten my dad when the time comes!” and everyone was helping me through their prayers.. and I cried to virgin Mary to ask God to grant my wish.. My pregnancy due date is January.. and months passed.. then December came.. My mom kept on telling me to tell my dad that I’m pregnant.. Ok! may you’re wondering I’m 8 month pregnant.. and my dad haven’t noticed it.. Well.. I’m 8 month and my tummy is not that big yet.. I wear very loose clothes to hide it.. and I’m good at it..

It was December 24th that I decided to tell my dad.. I wrote him a letter and slipped it in his jacket.. when he got home.. to my surprise.. he didn’t get angry.. instead.. he told me that this baby is a gift from God.. it is a blessing.. but deep inside I know my parents are hurt.. but when the baby came out.. everyone just lightens up.. my family got closer.. my dad hot headedness was lessen.. everyone was happy.. yah! there are still complications in my family.. but  the baby is here to bring happiness.. so I called my baby “A miracle from God!”.. My baby’s name meaning is “My father is God!”.. she is a happy baby that loves to smile.. she brings happiness.. Babies are cute! Right! So guys! don’t abort your baby! Whatever it takes.. Whatever fear you have.. it will pass away as years or months go by! Just think “THIS IS MY BABY AND IT’S NOT YOURS! THIS IS GOD’S BABY! WHATEVER IT TAKES! WHATEVER THEY SAY! I DON’T CARE! THIS IS MY BABY! IT CAME FROM MY FLESH! I MADE HER!”.. as you all know.. “EVERY BABY IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD”..=)

Hello Nathalie,

My name is Rachel and I work with Becky here at Stand Up Girl. Your story is so inspiring! It really touched my heart. You are a true Stand Up Girl! I have a daughter too, and they really are miracles from God. The feeling you have when you become a mother is one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It is amazing.

I am so thankful that you chose to not have an abortion. Just think about how different your life would be today! I can’t imagine now not having my daughter. Going to school and working, and trying to be the best mom that I can be is hard work, but it is all worth it. I would do it all over and over again just for my daughter, as I’m sure you would too.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!  🙂

Love, Rachel

Pretty Pregnant

When I was young I’ve always ask my mom what’s the feeling of pregnant, she always says, “It’s very hard because I couldn’t do what I’ve ever wanted. Like drinking soda, eating my favorite junk foods. But in the other side of my mind, it’s very good feeling in a mom’s heart. When the time for me to give birth of to my child, I would feel happiness. During childbirth, I saw in my mom’s face the pain, that’s when I promised to myself that I will never be a mother because I think that it is very painful. But now that I am giving birth to a child I understand what my mom told me before, it is very good in feeling to be a mother but it is hard being pregnant.